IImagine the best orgasm you've ever had. . .
and then you squeeze out 17 metre long tadpoles.
Talk about inside out. ..
Paris because. .
A crack team of international boffins has uncovered startling facts about certain species of crustaceans which produce sperm ten times as long as their own bodies. If human males produced such "giant sperm", according to the scientists, the result would be tadpole-esque horrors 17 metres long. Renate Matzke-Karasz, of the …
giant sperm and stuff.
Erm, anyway, what's quite interesting about the sperm of the fruit fly?
[Viewscreens: Three very close-up pictures of a fruit fly.]
Smells of guava. [shrugs imperiously]
The thing is, Xander actually knows that.
Yeah. I know.
Fruit fly spunk. What can we say about it?
They don't have it. They don't have any of it.
They cer— . . . by God, they do.
It is the most fecund sperm.
Do parsnips taste nice in it?
I'm afraid I'm . . . It's size. I'm just going to add size. It's the largest sperm of any living thing.
[Viewscreens: The fruit flies' "mouths" suddenly are superimposed with smiling, ruby red lips.]
If uncoiled, it's twenty times as long as its own body. It's 5.8 centimeters long, one sperm. I'm not talking about . . . Its seminal fluid--
Yeah, 5.8 centimetres. A human sperm is naught-point-naught-five millimetres.
So you don't think "tadpole"; think "Loch Ness Monster".
It really is. Absolutely gigantic.
You could probably get one as a pet, couldn't you?
Yeah. Well over 1000 times longer than a human sperm.
[mimes painfully ejaculating a giant sperm]
[uses hands to indicate a giant sperm landing on the table with a loud thunk]
Oh, dear . . .
I hope this is the right place to ask. Just how does one see (as opposed to "see" and ""see"") things with "synchrotron X-ray holotomography"? You see, I've got one, or something quite a lot like it. It cost an arm and a leg, but I've only ever found it good for navel gazing.
I wanna be a "synchrotron X-ray holotomographer"
It would be hell down the pub every weekend explaining I look at little things in xray mode
Might be a good pick up line though!
Girl: Hi what do you do then?
Me: I'm a synchrotron X-ray holotomographer
Girl: Whats that?
Me: Follow me I'll have to show you
Girl: OK, it's a bit dark in here?
Me: OK, now hold this I'm gonna do some synchrotron X-ray holotomography
Girl: Do I have to hold it for long?
What fun I'd have
Are you sure that's a joke? I was wondering whether it might be a mobile egg and stay-at-home sperm in an unusual biogical role reversal. For real.
Have they worked out yet what is the biological advantage of male / female bimorphism?There are only a few species in which all are hermaphrodite and capable of reproducing sexually with any other member of their species. I would have thought that was an evolutionary advantage, but obviously it can't be.
«Just how does one see (as opposed to "see" and ""see"") things with "synchrotron X-ray holotomography"?»
Erm. By looking at the attached monitor. Word of the street is, results are improved if you keep your eyes open.
A bit like, you know, how you see things with an electron microscope, an echograph or any piece of medical imagery equipement, a scanning confocal microscope, a giant telescope, ...
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