Boffins: Gigantic crustacean sperm is 'viable strategy' A crack team of international boffins has uncovered startling facts about certain species of crustaceans which produce sperm ten times as long as their own bodies. If human males produced such "giant sperm", according to the scientists, the result would be tadpole-esque horrors 17 metres long. Renate Matzke-Karasz, of the …
giant sperm and stuff.
http://www.freewebs.com/qitranscripts/304.htm
Erm, anyway, what's quite interesting about the sperm of the fruit fly?
[Viewscreens: Three very close-up pictures of a fruit fly.]
Alexander
Smells of guava. [shrugs imperiously]
Alan
The thing is, Xander actually knows that.
Alexander
Yeah. I know.
Stephen
Fruit fly spunk. What can we say about it?
Alan
They don't have it. They don't have any of it.
Stephen
They cer— . . . by God, they do.
Alan
Do they.
John
It is the most fecund sperm.
Jeremy
Do parsnips taste nice in it?
Stephen
I'm afraid I'm . . . It's size. I'm just going to add size. It's the largest sperm of any living thing.
[Viewscreens: The fruit flies' "mouths" suddenly are superimposed with smiling, ruby red lips.]
Stephen
If uncoiled, it's twenty times as long as its own body. It's 5.8 centimeters long, one sperm. I'm not talking about . . . Its seminal fluid--
Jeremy
5.8 centimetres?
Stephen
Yeah, 5.8 centimetres. A human sperm is naught-point-naught-five millimetres.
John
So you don't think "tadpole"; think "Loch Ness Monster".
Stephen
It really is. Absolutely gigantic.
Alan
You could probably get one as a pet, couldn't you?
Stephen
Yeah. Well over 1000 times longer than a human sperm.
Alan
[mimes painfully ejaculating a giant sperm]
Jeremy
[uses hands to indicate a giant sperm landing on the table with a loud thunk]
Stephen
Oh, dear . . .
I hope this is the right place to ask. Just how does one see (as opposed to "see" and ""see"") things with "synchrotron X-ray holotomography"? You see, I've got one, or something quite a lot like it. It cost an arm and a leg, but I've only ever found it good for navel gazing.
I wanna be a "synchrotron X-ray holotomographer"
It would be hell down the pub every weekend explaining I look at little things in xray mode
Might be a good pick up line though!
Girl: Hi what do you do then?
Me: I'm a synchrotron X-ray holotomographer
Girl: Whats that?
Me: Follow me I'll have to show you
Girl: OK, it's a bit dark in here?
Me: OK, now hold this I'm gonna do some synchrotron X-ray holotomography
Girl: Do I have to hold it for long?
What fun I'd have
Are you sure that's a joke? I was wondering whether it might be a mobile egg and stay-at-home sperm in an unusual biogical role reversal. For real.
Have they worked out yet what is the biological advantage of male / female bimorphism?There are only a few species in which all are hermaphrodite and capable of reproducing sexually with any other member of their species. I would have thought that was an evolutionary advantage, but obviously it can't be.
«Just how does one see (as opposed to "see" and ""see"") things with "synchrotron X-ray holotomography"?»
Erm. By looking at the attached monitor. Word of the street is, results are improved if you keep your eyes open.
A bit like, you know, how you see things with an electron microscope, an echograph or any piece of medical imagery equipement, a scanning confocal microscope, a giant telescope, ...
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2023
