back to article Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

Jacqui Smith will leave the Cabinet on Monday, it was reported today. Citing "impeccable sources", Sky News said the Home Secretary will be a casualty of the expenses row. Revelations that she had claimed for her husband's pay-per-view porn kicked off the scandal over MPs dodgy expenses back in March. It later emerged she …


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  1. Steven

    Rest not on your laurels

    Because whoever's in next will probably be far more subtle about it than WJ was.

    And if you think this means the end of ID cards/HUGE databases/Phorm/Detention etc. think again...

  2. Robin Kinge
    Thumb Up

    Made my day...

    Enough said really.


  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    oh no ...

    ... I never got around to calling her Jacqui "Boots" Smith!

  4. Shakje

    About time.

    Nothing more.

  5. AC
    Thumb Up

    *clears throat*

    ahem .....


    no matter how bad the next chump is in the position it cannot possibly be worse than this terrible piece of crap. I couldn't be happy with this news.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm so sad..

    .. she's only axed because of the expenses row. That rather defines the current government's approach to privacy.

  7. Steve Sherlock

    DING DONG The Witch is Dead...

    Oh well, let's just hope the next incompetent fool to fill her shoes has a name so easy to poke fun at as old Wacky.

  8. Wokstation
    Thumb Up

    Jackboot Jacqui gets the boot!

    Alas, nothing so dramatic. She "stands down", but not because she's done anything wrong, perish the thought!

  9. alan
    Thumb Up


    Good to see her go

    But surely this is hypocritical of Gordon as he was paying for his brothers cleaner?

  10. Richard Porter

    Rejoice! Rejoice!

    Wacky Jacqui is going! Yippeeeee!

    Darling's next.

    The government is falling apart at the seams. It's not funny. I just hope people aren't going to vote for fringe Europhobic right wing parties on Thursday.

  11. Craig Roberts

    Not good enough...

    ... Okay, so it's good that Wacki Jacqui's on the way out... And the two toned idiot who's been pretending to be Chancellor for the past 2 years is going too (hopefully) but it's still not good enough...

    Bring on a full General Election NOW! The public deserve the chance to weed out thieving MP bastards and show Gordon Brown that, actually, you're not an elected Prime Minister - so get the fuck out!

    It's a sad sad day when I find myself actually missing Tony... Kinda...

    Pity the Tories are still the bunch of right wing idiots they've always been - just now with added media savvy from Cameron...

    Vote Lib Dem! 'Cos... well... you may as well... How bad can it be? :)

  12. David Hicks

    Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.

    Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!

    Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.

    Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.

    Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go,

    Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.

    Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.

    Let them know

    The Wicked Witch is dead!

    I, for one, will be having a celebratory pint this evening. It's a shame she wasn't kicked out for being an authoritarian superbitch, but hey, at least she'll be gone.

  13. Anonymous Coward


    Good riddance to bad rubbish - I'm now looking forward to someone handing her arse back to her at the general election which, IMO, can't come fast enough.

    My only concern now is which corrupt, incompetent muppet will replace her.

    Flames, because there's a circle of Hell set aside for her.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    This woman has shown impeccable and profound lack of understanding for basic IT concepts, hence the astronomical adviser costs, cockups, data losses, etc.

    I'm glad she's out.

  15. Richard
    Thumb Up

    WOW there is a GOD

    oh happy happy day. Crack open the champagne, roll up a spliff. burn your ID cards and thank f'ck that some good has finally come to this county

    So long you ignorant, paranoid, greedy, freedom inhibiting numpty. Take your narrow minded, twisted, control freak ways and your porno spanking husband out of here, don't let the door hit you on the way out

    I just hope she doesn't get a golden goodbye, unless it's a golden shower goodbye!!

    Ding Dong the bitch is gone :-)

    if this is a joke i'm gonna kick some ass

  16. Jon


    Shame it is too late to undo all the changes that she made.

    I for one won't miss her one little bit.

    Bring back David Blunkett.

  17. Ray



  18. Chris
    Thumb Up


    About time too.

    If only it meant that the next one in would reverse the idiotic policy decisions of the worthless bag of shit. Unfortunately this mob are likely to stumble forward with all the same crap. We can only hope that they don't have time to actually _do_ anything else before being chucked out.

    Please can someone come up with more parliamentary scandals. Ideally, we need enough to keep all MPs too busy covering their own arses to do any further damage. It's a real shame that having a paralysed legislature is preferable to one able to act. That front bottom Blair has got a lot to answer for.

  19. Gary Lloyd

    Yee Ha and Woo Hoo

    And about time lets get Blears, Darling and most importantly that muppet of a PM.

    Election NOW.

    Mines the one with the dodgy expenses claim in the pocket....

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Good riddance to bad rubbish.

    Though it's a shame that she's going to get fired only for minor corruption, rather than for being one of the most incompetent and arrogant Home Secretaries in history.

    Now we just hope that the appalling McNulty isn't given the job. Because no matter how bad Smith was, McNulty will be even worse.

  21. Jimmy Floyd
    Thumb Up


    Time to party!

    (and pray that the next Home Secretary takes long enough to get settled into their job that they get turfed out at the next election without meddling in very much)

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. sig

    How appropriate...

    ...that I first saw this news as I passed Plymouth's giant Orwellian telescreen.

    We citizens immediately engaged in a spontaneous two-minute hate of the unperson Smith. Well no, actually we didn't, dissuaded as we were by the presence of a CCTV camera on the screen. Who said CCTV doesn't reduce crime?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    It doesn't make you go blind,

    But it does loose you your job as home secretary...

    Paris ??

    Not as controversial as el-wacky, but deffinatly into the pron..

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Yes! Yes! Yes!

    That is all.

  26. Ash
    Thumb Up


    Here's hoping that the National ID Database and IMP go with her!

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    ha ha haaaa

    "According to the BBC she will defend her skinny 2,716 majority in Redditch at the next election."

    Is that the place where she tried to push through super prisons, against the locals wishes, the same place where petitions asking for he to be sacked are being run, the same place that hjasn't seen any decent funding or regeration for a long time?

    Good luck Luv

    Anon as I live too close for comfort to the nosey cow (thank God I don't live in the actual shithole AKA Redditch)

  28. Michael Hutchinson

    Na na na na, Good bye

    Good riddance! It's just a shame the next person in the job will be just as "Wacky"

  29. Anonymous Coward

    It's a victory

    for common sense.

    In the words of Johnny Ramone, glad to see you gogogogo goodbye glad to see you go. Bet her hubby's pleased she'll be in the bed with him more often too

  30. Chris
    Black Helicopters

    Oh noes....

    ...who will all the black helicopter idiots have to moan about now?

  31. Anonymous Coward

    Yeh, that cheered me up no end

    but of course , nothing will really change.

  32. Pat

    They should do this more often

    Great, can't stand her. Home Secs are always hate figures though, comes with the territory. Anyone remember one they liked? It's not as if the next mug will be all libertarian and turn off all the CCTV etc.

    They should just have automatic sackings built into the role, cheer us all up once in a while.

  33. Scott
    Paris Hilton

    Will this change

    NuLabours idea of a totalitarian society, probably not.

    But let's be honest we'll all be raising a glass to the Wacky and her departing back, Feel sorry for her husband though as he'll be seeing a lot more of her (and a lot less porn.

    PH - cause i can.

  34. Mad Mike
    Thumb Down

    I'm speechless


    Couldn't have happened to a more ignorant, totalitarian woman. Good to see her go. Problem is, who will replace her .......

  35. AJ

    AT LAST!

    Good riddance - what else is there to say?

  36. Dave Ross

    Oh dear..

    what a pity, never mind (and don't let the door hit you on the way out).

  37. SuperTim

    wholesale reshuffle?

    who is he going to find that's more honest? they all seem to be on the take!

    Mine's the one with the receipt for gold plated truffles in the pocket.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Stop holding out on us, show us the plastic reconstruction of what *really* got her sacked. There can only be so many shock jock porn puns out there.

  39. Simon

    Good and bad...

    .... YAY! She's going... hopefully...

    Noooooooo - what muppet will take her place...????

  40. Anonymous Coward


    *happy days are here again..*

    Unless of course Goron the gopher appoints someone even worse... is that possible??

  41. richard

    "dogged by controversy and cockups"...just a bit

    sorry but the home secretary of the uk's husband claim for a porno on her expenses must be one of the biggest disgraces and piss takes of modern times. how she can still hold her head up in public is a mystery to me.


  42. Anonymous Coward

    We can only hope...

    ...that her replacement is a little less paranoid and corrupt.

    Its ironic that someone so intent on prying into the lives of every man, woman and child in the country is going as a result of prying into her public office life. Karma.

  43. Jon Thompson

    Please please please!!!!!

    Fingers crossed, eh?

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Farewell but ...

    Will she take her 42 days detention, ID cards etc etc with her?

    And to whom do I Cc: my emails on "cc all your emails to Jacqui Smith" Day now?

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    That is all.

  46. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Enjoy oblivion !

    You little beauty!

    Whooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!1111one one

  47. dervheid

    Whacky Jacqui - ad nauseum

    how utterly apt

    Hope she does go

    Good fucking riddance

    Question being though, who takes over?

    Back to Blunkett?

    Why not.

    he seems to have as many lives as 'Mandy'.

    God (or your own preferred deity) forbid!

  48. Toastan Buttar

    Meet the new boss...

    ...same as the old boss.

    Much as I'm glad to see the back of Wacqui, I can't say I'll be very comfortable with any other current minister taking over the position. Seriously, who would you trust ?

  49. Ozwadi Ogolugi
    Thumb Down

    Useless unts!

    Sack the lot of em as they are all useless unts anyway.. Plus I read today that they want to ditch sterling in favour of the Euro... brewery and piss up springs to mind..

  50. Ad Fundum

    I just wanted to say


    That's it, that's all I got. Just hoo-frickin-ray.

  51. Anonymous Coward

    Ding dong!

    The witch is dead! Although, maybe I should wait until after the reshuffle to celebrate ...

  52. Paul
    Thumb Up

    That popping sound you hear ...

    is thousands of Champagne bottles being opened around the country

  53. Riscyrich
    Thumb Up

    w00t w00t !


    That is all...

  54. Mike Hams

    I shall...

    raise a glass in farewell to the authoritarian monster.

  55. James





    Finally GB does something right.. Still wont vote for him...

  56. Owen Williams


    What a day!

  57. Russell Preece

    All that needs to be said is....

    I'm not a religious man, but THANK GOD for that.

    See you later, you incompetent moose :)

  58. Dennis
    Thumb Up

    Ding Dong

    Ding Dong - The Witch is dead.

    Well seriously injured until the next election when we can truly stick the boot in.

    Thumbs up

  59. Andy
    Thumb Down

    But the damage is done,

    even if she *does* leave we are in a worse state after her reign of ill-informed reactionary arse.

    Can we get a refund on all of her legislation?

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She's behind you

    Oh no he isn't!!!

  61. Anonymous Coward

    See ya...but I wouldn't wanna be ya

    Good riddance to bad rubbish. Perhaps we'll not have to suffer some of her hair brained schemes.

  62. It wasnt me

    thats a shame

    At least she was rubbish and ineffective at her job. An ideal placeholder till the whole govenment get cleared out next year.

    They may put someone competent in there who manages to actually push their orwellian agenda.

    Although 'competent' semms a bit thin on the ground at the moment.

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Now it's time to just scrap everything she's done in the past years and start again.

    She really isn't a good role model for women in the government. She's fucked up royally.

  64. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good, but:

    Will Blears still have a job? After all she is a tax avoiding cabinet minister, this is surely not a tennable position.

  65. masterpikey

    which old witch, the wicked witch!!

    where's the chorus line of little people, the wicked witch is dead, we need to have a song and dance!

  66. Edward Miles


    ...that I expect the next one to be any better but:


  67. Alex Wright


    And good riddance.

  68. Dennis
    Thumb Up

    Who will it be?

    I was going to suggest that unless Gordo appoints Chris Grayling as the new Home Secretary it will be more of the same. But Chris Grayling has had his snout deep into the expenses trough, so he's already tarnished.

    Chris Huhne as shadow-shadow Home Secretary isn't whiter-than-white, but he's the best of the three. If Wikipedia is to be believed he has spoken of the need to "roll back [Labour's] security-obsessed surveillance state".

  69. Brian Milner

    The end of Jacqui Smith

    God be praised!

  70. Anonymous Coward


    Great news! Though, I suspect, Gordy will create a new role for her in a new Department of Alteration...

  71. Ed Blackshaw Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    It's just a shame...

    ...we won't be seeing the back of those senior civil servants in the Home Office whose ideas she, and indeed previous home secretaries, have been parrotting for the last ten years...

  72. Anonymous Coward


    I am very glad to see the princess of darkness go, but I'm sure they'll rustle up another bastard, not sure they have many sane people to choose from.

  73. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    W00T... it's about time that crazy bitch got the boot, hopefully the next home sec won't be crazed and will ditch her crazy schemes.

    Personally i feel that she and anyone else involved in the expenses affair should be sacked and barred from government forever, i would expect that anyone in the public sector caught fiddling their expenses to the tune of thousands of pounds would be removed from their position and most likely would not receive references.

    Just goes to show the levels of hypocrisy/criminal enterprise within our government.

  74. Drem

    Ding Dong the witch is...

    If this is true, its mostly good news, the only worry is who'll get the job next.

    An interesting point to watch methinks...

  75. N

    Too little too late

    Dunno what took him so long to do this,

    Blears & Darling next

    then a general election

  76. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Nice choice of words

    "Dogged by controversy and cockups"

    Indeed, if her husband's viewing habits are anything to go by.

    Apparently she's leaving to concentrate on re-election - what kind of fantasy world does she live in? She might as well go in search of the Easter bunny.

    I'd be ecstatic if I didn't know that she will inevitably be replaced by another total nob end from Nu Lab's seemingly bottomless pit of talentless fuckwits.

  77. Jon

    Bertold Brecht put it best

    "For though the world has stood up and stopped the bastard, the bitch that bore him is in heat again"

  78. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    good riddance ...

    to bad rubbish

  79. Adrian

    Scraping the barrel

    All the home secs since Blunkett have supported ID cards. I can't believe they're all that stupid (they're bright enough to fiddle the taxpayers, aren't they ? Though not so bright they weren't caught ..).

    But minister material willing to put their names to this stupidity must be getting thin on the ground by now.

  80. Wun Hung Lo
    Thumb Up


    God be praised!

  81. Alex

    good riddence!

    lets hope she loses her pension as well!

  82. Sweep

    Bye bye Jacqui!

    We shall miss you

  83. Anonymous Coward


    Good riddance!

    (Not that I suppose whoever they replace her with will be any less repressive, but it's always nice to see comeuppance delivered.)

  84. Anonymous Coward

    About time

    I, as others have already said, declare that we should have a national holiday.

    Woe be tide the next home secretary that tries to implement a "Do as i say, not as i do" culture.

    See ya spliffy smithy, enjoy the playboy special, just not at our cost !

    /Aliens coz she defiantly is not from this planet.

  85. MnM

    Empty feeling

    Partly because her booting has long been inevitable, and partly because the privacy agenda has not featured sufficiently in her demise. You couldn't see the wood for the trees with this one.

    Nevertheless, at least she's gone. What a wanker she was. Smiley as I'm beginning to warm to the idea of a Home Office free of Jacqui Smith, come what may.

  86. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    There is a god after all :)

  87. Shaha Alam
    Thumb Up

    first to comment on this!!


    good riddance.

    that is all.

  88. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Waqui Jacqui "Police State" Smith resigns...

    A great day for democracy!

  89. alain williams Silver badge


    Who said that the expenses scandal was all bad? The sad thing is that the next labour home secretary will probably be just as madly power crazed and in to spying on everyone.

  90. Jeremy


    A real opportunity for Gordon Brown to regain a bit of credibility here by appointing someone sensible to the position who doesn't want to take every single freedom we have away. Of course, he won't.....

  91. Nick


    I was having a bit of a rubbish week thus far, so this news has made me smile again. I just hope they don't give her some other senior cabinet position for her to bugger up.

  92. Dark Ian
    Thumb Up

    Excellent news

    More of this please.

    Although, who will be next? No doubt it'll be the same old story time and time again.

  93. This post has been deleted by its author

  94. Martin Lyne

    VJS Day

    Victory in Jacqui Smith Day!

    Make sure. Blears next!

  95. EvilJason

    Hmm this reminds...

    ...of a song.....from a movie.....old one....called the wizard of Oz....

    Cant remember the words but something about a ding and a dong?

    Can anyone remember it?


  96. Piggy and Tazzy
    Thumb Up


    Best news all day.

  97. Michael Dean

    Mixed Feelings

    I am glad to see her go, but annoyed that its because of expenses and not for incompetence.

  98. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'Bout time

    Good fucking riddance.

    Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

    In fact - why wait til Monday? The sun is shining and the sooner you bugger off the better, Jacqui.

    Don't be fooled though people. They will say "she's gone, we're clean now! you can trust us!" when all they have done is shifted blame on to an incompetent who was out of her depth.

    Never forget - the ineptitude of this governement - the rot - goes all the way to the core.

    1 down, 600 odd left to go.

  99. Andrew Bolton


    Jackie Smith going?

    Libertarians rejoice?

    I fear worse to come

  100. Dave



  101. Hedley Phillips

    A good day for all

    good riddance to bad rubbish.

  102. Jim Coleman


    Thank [insert deity of choice here] for that! Frakking control freak splorkweasel!

  103. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    The witch is dead.

    About bloody time too.

    Oh bugger, this means I've got to raise my opinion of the one eyed idiot..

  104. Tom


    If only it was for the real reason she is hated, can't help but feel she is getting off lightly. really she should be sacked for being shit at her job, then arrested and processed for frauding the treasury, which, if you boil it down enough could be classed as treason....

    42 days in the cooler? now, THAT would make my day :)

  105. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ AC

    'no matter how bad the next chump is in the position it cannot possibly be worse than this terrible piece of crap. I couldn't be happy with this news.'




    You just don't say those sort of things. It's a bit like steering your copper bottomed boat full of nitroglycerine through a storm off the Scillies seeing the map by the light of a lit match.

    If Blunkett's back in the Cabinet on Monday I'll hold you responsible.

  106. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    The Face may have changed but policy stays the same. New Gov wants your data and your soul and newgov gets what it wants.

  107. Mike Bell

    Something to look forward to

    "According to the BBC she will defend her skinny 2,716 majority in Redditch at the next election"

    This should be fun; her very own "were you up for Portillo" moment

  108. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What, pray tell, ...

    - will be her pension rights

    - when can she draw it

    - how much will it be

    - how is it calculated

    - will there be a lump sum option

    (replace she with he or the MP's name of your own choice)

    [no image - it is far too serious besides, none quite fit anyway]

  109. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    You know...

    Jacky Smith's face reminds me of that scene in 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' where Johnny Depp is all out of his mind on drugs trying to talk to the woman at the hotel check-in desk, and she starts turning into an eel.

  110. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

    When in Rome

    I can't help but think that it might be time to bring back the sport of throwing people to lions in an arena. It's win-win-win-win-win ...

    The public get what they want.

    The government will see a huge surge in support for building and funding the Olympic 2012 venue in double quick time which will be an ideal location.

    The 2012 'competitor accommodation' can be used as MP's dorms; simplified expenses as all are forced to live there, and just a short distance to drag errant MP's.

    Animal rights protesters will have a pleasant location to mount their protests against cruelty to lions without inconveniencing others.

    The Met can go and crack the skulls of protesters ( aka activists, terrorists ) safe in the knowledge that Fleet Street and news crews can't be arsed if it's not happening just round the corner.

    Mine's the one with the ticket to Stratford in the pocket.

  111. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Hooray! / Jon

    "Bring back David Blunkett."

    Now, come on - it is possible to take things a little TOO FAR!

  112. Not for you

    Utterly Shocking

    Woman campaining for greater invasion of peoples privacy is stung by own private matters becoming public

    Hmmm, irony for you!

  113. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re: they should do this more often

    Jack Straw wasn't too bad, although he wasn't too happy to find me in his "personal" lift at QUAG, who gets there own private lift ffs.

  114. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Don't overlook that evil witch Beverley Hughes is also stepping down from Parliament for 'personal reasons'. She helped whip up the hysteria over Chris Morris' 'Paedogeddon' programme calling it 'unbelievably sick' and only later admitted that she had not watched the programme and had no intention of doing so. She was a sort of early warning of New Labour's attitude towards anyone who rocked the status quo - we should have paid more attention.

    Oh and Tom Watson, co-conspirator in the Drapergate Number 10 email smears is also going. Now is it too much to hope Tony McNulty will do the decent thing and leave us all alone?

  115. Steve
    Paris Hilton

    OMG Life after Monday will be that bit sweeter

    Paris? Well even Paris could see this is a good thing!

  116. S Larti
    Paris Hilton

    The benefits of porn!

    This has made my day.

    It's taken a while, but if it takes her husbands movie choices to get rid of her then this is the most rewarding flick ever!

    Paris, because she profited from a grumble flick too!

  117. 7mark7
    Thumb Down

    Any guesses?

    Diretectorship of phorm or BT? Experian?

  118. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    Great news. The latest in a long line of completely anti-democratic Home Secretary's under 'NuLabour' I'll be glad (and relieved) to see the back of. They've all been bad for this country's democracy, cowering behind 'anti-terror' and 'anti-pr0n' laws to steal away our personal freedoms, whilst bending over repeatedly to oblige a crooked police force seeking to get as much bad law (and funding) enacted as possible. It won't, of course, end with her departure - God alone knows how much damage to our freedoms can still be done by whomever the next incumbent might be.

    Still, let's savour this moment while it lasts - but stay vigilant.

  119. Anonymous Coward

    Going Going Gone

    Im still campaining to get rid of DIP.

    She goes but that will still be around.

  120. Gianni Straniero

    Friends of Dorothy

    I count eight comments quoting The Wizard of Oz. Is that some sort of record?

  121. Lee
    Thumb Up

    Can I be the first to say.......

    .......I know, no chance. I'll be dancing in front of the burning stake tonight though!!

    Have you no larger thumbs up icon?

    Hang on, it's Gordon Brown it's for.....never mind :-)

  122. Jimmy

    Goodbye and hello.

    As Jacqui drags her sorry ass out of the Home Office she leaves behind the team of 'special advisers' that Nulab installed to override and manage the objective advice offered by the civil servants. The unelected control freaks stay in post (at our cost) so don't look for any change of policy. Has anyone checked THEIR expenses recently?

    Jacqui, your undignified exit becomes you beautifully. Not quite off the gravy train yet love, but we will sort that out for you very shortly.

  123. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It may be better than you expect

    You know how everyone gets really conscientious about locking their windows and doors after there's been a burglary? Or how people are always so polite after they've been caught being rude, or how men get all romantic when they've been caught cheating? It's the same thing. Sometimes politicians get a conscience for a few months after being seen to misbehave.

    Make the most of it, it's like the British summer.

  124. Justabloke


    while this is undoubtly the best news of the day so far... please don't shout/wish for Blunkett to return... He is the architect behind the ID database not wacky and for those of you struggling to think of anyone worse I have two words...

    Harriet Harman.

    hah! not so smiley now are you?

    Still wacky going is good... trying to defend her majority is good because it'll hammer home just home much people despise her. Let's hope she falls into the obscurity she deserves.

  125. ElFatbob

    'Shuffle' - such a versatile word

    While your hubby is having a 5-knuckle-shuffle at the taxpayers expense, you get 'shuffled' out of government...

    'According to the BBC she will defend her skinny 2,716 majority in Redditch at the next election.'

    Good luck with that one then.

    Guess it's off to the EU for you. Give Neil a call - he'll tell you how to get the best out of the gravy train...

  126. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    ... of a more militant Home Secretary set to replace Wacky were today downplayed with the confirmation that Chairman Mao and Adolf Hitler are both in fact dead.

  127. Seán

    I feel your Joy

    We had a donkey named McDowell or somesuch as minister for Justice here, he brought in such wonderful notions as no smoking in pubs and random reasonless breath tests for drivers, pissed off the cops pissed off the judges pissed off the people. His party had high hopes in the last elections right up until he lost his deposit and was beaten out of his seat by the Greens. Another fool who didn't take into account the desires of the people.

  128. delboy

    Next Idiot Home Secretary?

    Harriot The Horror Harmen!

  129. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward



    I read an article by him the other day, on a broadsheet's website, in which he denied that the House of Commons is a legislature. Ignoring the pedantic point that it's actually parliament that is a legislature, it really does show what despicable contempt he has for the truth.

    Oh, and as for ID cards? He recently called (as El Reg reported, IIRC,) for voluntary ID cards to be scrapped, and for compulsory passports to be usable as ID cards instead - compulsory ID cards disguised as passports.

    Fortunately, he's as subtle as a brick, and has just about the easiest lines to read between.

  130. Craig Roberts


    "Harriet Harman."

    You evil evil bastard! ;)

  131. Tails
    Thumb Up

    @That popping sound you hear

    Mine's the expensive bottle of witch's brew nicked from her office. I can go back to being an American Anglophile now

  132. Pierre

    Don't get it wrong: she won

    She was just the fuse, pals. She was the first-line defense for you to hate, she's done her job (she did what she's been put there to do), now everyone hate her so her mission is done, she can be disposed of and replaced by the next "fuse" who will do exactly the same, until everyone hate them too much, at which point they will be dismissed and replaced by another fuse, repeat ad nauseam. (and yes, whatever party is gonna be in charge will probably do the same - with a nuance: if the Tories take over, you'll lose your job, too ;-) )

  133. Paul Gomme

    No flowers...

    ...and no loss, either...

    Post your happy comments here...

  134. Adrian

    No, not Blunkett

    Blunkett set the direction for all the recent home secs. They've just followed the line ever since. I don't have any time for Jacqui, but she was only following Blunkett's lead.

  135. Anonymous Coward

    mistakes were made

    Ok, i'm leaving....just let me check my coat pockets here to make sure they're lined with nice, crisp, new notes first.....

  136. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Would a petition be worthwhile?

    I'm thinking of starting a petition to wave farewell to Fuhrer Smith and to remind old Gordon we don't want anyone even remotely like her as a replacement. Maybe if enough people sign it they'll understand there *is* no silent majority who want increased Government surveillance and interference in our private lives.

    That all sounds rather maudlin for what is essentially a time of huge celebration. I'll be raising a glass of Jack tonight in celebration of the fact that this Harridan has got as close to power as she's ever going to get. With her slim majority it's practically a done deal she will be ousted at the next election if she doesn't stand down first.

    Farewell, you spineless interfering harpy. If it's any consolation I hear the Spice Extreme channel are having a fetish night tonight. Now piss off and leave politics to the fucking adults.

  137. Anonymous Coward

    The good old days

    Lets not be so hasty in our celebrations of the demise of this tyrant. After six months of Tony McNulty, her inevitable successor, we’ll be hankering for the good old days of Jackboots Jacqui…

  138. PT

    You Are The Dead

    HM Government is grateful to you all for your frank expressions of opinion. We will review every response carefully. We take all such criticism seriously and need to strike a balance.

    Now remain exactly where you are - officers will be arriving shortly to assist you.

  139. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

    AC Posted Tuesday 2nd June 2009 12:59 GMT

    "no matter how bad the next chump is in the position it cannot possibly be worse than this terrible piece of crap. "

    Gawd you just had to say that did'nt you?

    Now we're gonna be saddled with GB's favourite brown nose whos going to have his/her own ideas of crime fighting

    Look forward to having your ID number tattooed on your forehead couped with having 1 leg cut off to stop criminals running away from the police.

    Ok that maybe a touch extreme but I'm sure the next occupant will come up with some equally deranged ideas.

    Wheres the Guy Fawkes icon?

  140. Anonymous Coward

    Anyone got any dirt on

    Harriet Harperson? If we could see the back of both of them my cup would be full and running over. I imagine a lot of women would feel the same way as neither of them were particularly good adverts for placing women in positions of power.

  141. Anonymous Coward

    Just realised that

    Wacqui's husband would appear to have had the most productive wank in history. Let's hear it for the five fingered cabinet reshuffle;)!

  142. Rog69

    Yes yes yes yes!!!!!

    I was beginning to think she might dodge the bullet after the expenses scandal really kicked off and she faded into the background for a couple of weeks but no, It's like some kind of beautiful dream........

  143. Camilla Smythe

    Last time I checked

    On the Register No Less. It turned out that some bloke copped, to the FBI, for the 'lesser' charges of 'hacking' in order to avoid getting stung for possession of kiddy porn and time in jail with, dare I say, Bubba Smith.

    Is this some similar sort of 'deal'?

    Ms Smith seemed to be putting up a 'good' defence for her fiddling and now she folds and 'walks away' in the same way, it would seem, that others are taking the opportunity as well.



  144. Anonymous Coward

    I will be celebrating

    As one of the 800,000 innocent people on her database thanks to her corrupt police force and her refusal to follow the ECHR judgement her departure is long overdue.

    This woman is more dangerous than any terrorist.

    Enjoy the bath plugs we paid for along with the rest of the stuff you stole from the people of Britain.

    Flames because you deserve to burn in hell for the damage you have done to ordinary citizens of this country.

  145. Fatman

    "Waqui Jacqui" gets 'das boot'

    From many of the comments above, it seems that a lot of you Brits are celebrating, not unlike the way many of us Yanks did back in January; when a village in Texas got its ID10T back.

    So, go to your local (I guess you call them 'pubs', we call often then bars) watering hole; and hoist a few.

    Sing it out loud from "The Wizard of Oz": 'Ding, dong, the wicked BITCH is dead!'

    Enjoy it for now, because tomorrow, you may have to worry about the f---tard that replaces her.

  146. RW

    Don't get your hopes up

    A comment on the Guardian re the same news this morning remarked that the real source of all the police state nonsense is a clutch of right-wing civil servants in the Home Office. Poor old Jacqui has simply been conned by them, because she's too stupid (former cooking teacher, remember) to understand the implications of their sinister plans.

    A good Home Secretary would give those plans to Stasify the UK one look and order them trashed. And then shunt the originators off to dead end jobs where they can no longer influence policy.

    Jacqui leaving doesn't clean out the fascists in the Home Office at all.

  147. John Smith Gold badge

    I have a plan to make money on this.

    Compile list of most delusionally paranoid MP's

    Find the #1 wing nut

    Go to bookmakers (Shop in UK high streets for our Merkin readers)

    Place large bet for them as Home Secretary

    Collect winnings.

  148. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Note to Mr Jackboot.

    The old trouble and strife will be spending quite a bit of time at home soon.

    Expenses - camcorder (HD) ??? While she can? Nudge, nudge.

    You know ...

    Please post you-tube links here. Ta.

    Paris, because she will soon be replaced.

  149. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Re: Next Idiot Home Secretary?

    "Harriot The Horror Harmen!"

    Don't joke about shit like that. Just don't.

    Harlot Harperson needs a stake through the heart, not the Home Secretary's job.

    Anyway, takin' all bets on who'll 'stand down for family reasons' next .... Darling? Hoon? Or will Prudence Broon have the cojones to call an general election? The local/European results will be a mere appetiser.

    Personally, I can't wait - it'll be 1997 all over again but with far, *far* more 'Portillo moments'.

    Tombstone - for the ZanuLabour government.

  150. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Does this mean ...

    ... the Queen can go to the D-Day service?

  151. Derek Green
    Thumb Up

    Over 130 comments in around 9 hours!

    Over 130 comments in around 9 hours!

    I haven't read them all, but I'm sure they are full of love and admiration for our, oh so soon to be departing HomeSec.

    I never worked out if her particular brand of 'government' drivel was down to gross stupdity mixed with following the nannying party-line OR some particular evil empire tendencies but either way, good riddance.

  152. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She's gone!!


    Claimed she was leaving because of pressure on her family, what pressure exactly?

    Has anyone seen any newspaper articles on her family, has the media been harrassing her family? No. Pressure on her perhaps.

    Even in defeat this spineless b**tch still can't admit the truth and be honest, she has to try to blame her resignation on someone else.

    I fear that her predecessor will continue her insane policies, because to abandon them will be tantamount to saying "we the labour government got it wrong..", and that is something this labour government just can not do.

  153. Arse Face

    nods in agreement

    Reading all this, I think i've for once found a Reg story in which everybody agree's with eachother on the same subject!

    Labour just do not get the message.

    However, regardless of who takes over, i've now reached a point where I have absolutely no faith in any of the system anyway.

  154. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Defending her majority

    "According to the BBC she will defend her skinny 2,716 majority in Redditch at the next election"

    Let's hope she does defend it, and let's hope she is slaughtered. Then her humiliation will be complete (and just). Then she will realise and finally have to accept she just isn't wanted, and isn't up to the job.

    But then earning £140K per year and claiming for a 68p (or was is 88p?) bath plug on expenses, clearly she's out of touch.

  155. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    She had to resign, because she knew she was about to be booted out, possibly moved to another less high a profile and lower value post. Oh the humiliation.

    The whole world would then know she was no good ( we all did anyway) , but it would be official.

    So all this is, is a resignation before she was fired, to make things look a little more respectable ( 'I'm leaving because of the pressure on my family', what B/S that is).

    Let's hope she loses her job as an MP and isn't voted back in, then she can go back to being a useless school teacher like before.

  156. b166er

    @AC 6th from top

    Impressive comment-fu dude, you broke out into the sidebar!

    Whoever they replace her with, it doesn't matter, 'cos they'll all be out on their ears next general election. I actually wish the Queen would step in at this point.

  157. passionate indifference

    Surely this should have been done ages ago

    1) Remove Jacqui

    2) Obtain a Linux Live CD

    3) Put in drive

    4) Install Linux

    I can't believe the government has waited this long before finally bending to the will of the people

  158. RW


    AC Posted Tuesday 2nd June 2009 14:33 GMT: "Never forget - the ineptitude of this governement - the rot - goes all the way to the core. 1 down, 600 odd left to go."

    Jimmy Posted Tuesday 2nd June 2009 15:41 GMT: "As Jacqui drags her sorry ass out of the Home Office she leaves behind the team of 'special advisers' that Nulab installed to override and manage the objective advice offered by the civil servants. The unelected control freaks stay in post (at our cost) so don't look for any change of policy."

    I'm afraid Jimmy has it right. Twelve years of ZanuLabour have resulted in the installation of their minions throughout the civil service. (This is called "politicization of the civil service.") The rot in British government is not limited to the 600-some MPs. It is now pervasive no matter where you look. Why else would the police, once famed worldwide for their civility and given the trust of the population, act like so many thugs? Why else would you have the innumerable insane health and safety orders because something _might_ happen? (Never mind that most of these potential incidents don't in fact happen, and those that do are straightforward occupational hazards.) Why else would you have social workers kidnapping children from their parents and adopting them away, never to be seen again? Why else would Phorm be given a tacit green light? Why else would decisions of the ECHR be ignored? Why else would putting your trash out on the wrong day be viewed as a serious offense?

    Regrettably, I see no party on the horizon that will (a) undo at the stroke of a pen all the horrible laws and regulations of the Blair-Brown era and (b) conduct a thorough-going purge of their moles throughout the public sector.

    The damage is done and cannot be repaired. Humpty-Dumpty has falled off his wall, and all that's left is to make omelets. (But beware H&S regulations regarding the handling of hot fat.)

  159. Moss Icely Spaceport
    Thumb Up

    Bust a nut

    Thanks Mr Smith, your nut-bustin' antics worked a treat.

  160. Anonymous Coward

    Don't know why you're all crowing.

    Even though she "resigned" she'll get a year's salary as redundancy and of course a gold-plated pension most of us can only dream of. If that's punishment please let me have some.

    She and the other crooks at Westminster, who wrote their own corrupt expenses rules and still broke even those, should be on their way to jail, not a cosy "retirement".

  161. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Leftover new years champagne

    has now been put to good use. Even by the extremely poor standard of home secs within my lifetime, she stands out as the worst by a mile.

    The real champagne moment though was the clip on the BBC news of her in parliament after the opposition landed a rare good one. Ranks right up there with the recent images of moats, duck islands and Julie Kirkbride + husband getting canned.

    The only way you could top this is by getting the rest of the cabinet and tory front bench to jump into a vat of boiling oil en masse in Parliament square.

    Paris, cos even she'd be a better HS than Jackboots Smith was

  162. jake Silver badge

    157 comments (as I type).

    And not a single comment in favo(u)r of the current UK government's methodology.

    Not one. Not even one kinda, sorta sympathetic.

    Either the politicians should be shaking in their boots, or the intellectuals should ... There is going to be a cleansing, and it's going to happen soon.

    Get off your arses & FUCKING VOTE when you have a chance, or it'll be too late.

  163. Danny Thompson
    Thumb Up

    Let me be the first to say ...

    "Good riddance" ... errr, well I would have been first ... given half the chance. This scab on politics is long overdue being lanced.

    There will be no tears shed for her. Now go and never come back.

  164. TeeCee Gold badge
    Thumb Down

    Surely not!

    ".....she will defend her skinny 2,716 majority in Redditch at the next election."

    <Bez - Arabian Nights>



    </Bez - Arabian Nights>

  165. Mostor Astrakan


    After all that this woman has wrought, they kick her out because her husband's pay-per-view porn ended up on the hotel bill somehow? What do they charge these days? Fifteen quid?

    For fuck's sake. THIS is why I gave up voting.

    Somebody probably dropped something noxious in Parliament which turns the nice bright-eyed people you vote for into the bunch of degenerate muppets you see before you now. EIther that or they aren't paying the election marketing people enough, and they have been this bad all along.

  166. dedmonst
    Paris Hilton

    You get the politicians you deserve

    terrible she may have been - deserving of the outpouring of spite and hate in these comments? I'm not so sure...

    Remember the way the UK parliamentary democracy works - you vote for your MP, and those with the most run the country for X years. It's only the media that convice us differently. What would you replace it with?

    Never mind, next year they'll all be voted out and you can cheer and go woot! to your hearts content about the bunch that replace them - then a few years later when the media fall out of love with that lot, they can convince all you sheep that the next lot are just as bad, and so we go on...

    > I actually wish the Queen would step in at this point.

    Oh yeah, what Britain needs right now is a good old fashioned unelected leader - now I'm sure there was another name for that sort of person, what was it?

    If our politicians are greedy, cheating liars ask yourself why? You get the politicians you deserve.

    Paris, cos I suspect she at least knows *who* is shafting her.

  167. Ed Blackshaw Silver badge

    To those calling for a general election...

    ...not yet. Make sure you vote in the Euro elections though - your MEP is the one who represents you on the European legislature, which is arguably the one that matters more than the Commons. Lets make sure we get rid of the New Labour snakes in that house first, THEN worry about kicking them out of our national parliament.

  168. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Re: You get the politicians you deserve

    "Oh yeah, what Britain needs right now is a good old fashioned unelected leader - now I'm sure there was another name for that sort of person, what was it?"

    If memory serves, the monarch has the power to dissolve Parliament which could, in theory, force an election - the Queen being an unelected leader doesn't come into it.

    Unfortunately, this is unlikely to happen because of 'constitutional difficulties' , which is to say 'this has never happened before therefore nobody has a bloody clue how they'd handle it'.

    Anyway, we already have a good old-fashioned unelected leader - the one-eyed Scottish idiot in No.10. And please, don't argue semantics - yes, the collective 'we' voted the Labour party in, inasmuch that Tony B.Liar was the leader at the time and hence became the PM. As far as I'm concerned, Prudence Broon has no mandate to govern - when Phony Tony stood down there should have been a General Election, pure and simple, although given what happened during the Thatcher->Major transition determining whether or not this is a good thing is left as an exercise for the reader.

  169. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    And another one down ...

    The Poison Dwarf has resigned:

  170. Tom

    @AC 18:05

    Hahaha, brilliant :D

  171. kevin biswas

    Can we have our country back now...

    ...please ?

    "And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent."

  172. Anonymous Coward


    and I bet she uses Linux

  173. Jimmy Floyd

    @Simon Ward

    Actually there is some precedent. In 1975 Australian PM Gough Whitlam was sacked by the Governor General, Queen Elizabeth's representative in Oz, after the Parliament effectively got itself into a political stalemate. The Aussies (bless 'em) kicked up a right royal stink at being told what to do by their Pommie overlords ... then promptly validated her decision by overwhelmingly voting for the former opposition!

    So, Her Majesty does still have the power to do so but, given the potential fallout, would probably only do it if the overwhelming majority of the people wanted an election but Gordon was just being too stubborn to call it.

    Oh, and @dedmonst: yes, Wacky Jacqui really is deserving of the outpouring of spite and venom here. A Stalinist by any other name would smell as smell.

  174. David Lee

    Hang the Witch!

    As much as I am glad she has gone, she will only be replaced by a New Labour Clone, nothing really will change.

    That said I want to see her humiliated at the next election if she has the ...ahem...balls to stand. Also be nice to see her prosecuted for fraud. Im sure the police would love to be given the chance to get their revenge for her police pay rise betrayal.

    I also want to see the rest of the corrupt bastards on the scaffold next to her doing the Tyburn jig!

    AC....she hasnt left yet.....

  175. Anonymous Coward

    Could this be...

    ... the wank than sank the Home Office crank?

    ...the somewhat grubby mac please

  176. David

    Vote Extremist ?

    Good riddance to the woman.

    So who do we vote for now ? Some are worried that we will vote for extremists as a back-lash, but I think we already have the extremists in power. Complete with an unelected Prime minister. I think its a complete waste of time to vote for the 'fringe' parties, we simply would not land up with a government capable of 'fixing' the current issues. We COULD land up with some very nasty people in power --- way beyond those already there !! We NEED a strong government and boy will they be under the microscope ! So no place for the racists, environmentalists, independents. The only way to fix things is for a consensus and that means a strong party with MPs working FOR the policies and voting for GOOD IDEAS even if proffered by their enemies !

    To those who reckon that the protest is to decline to vote, I would say this. You can have NO COMPLAINT --- YOU GIVE UP THE RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING --- and YOU open the door to admitting the 'extremists' by default --- YOUR deFAULT !! They are talking about making it possible to SACK an MP, but, to make that work, you can't have more people voting for the sacking than voted for the election. In fact, surely ONLY those who voted for that particular MP can participate in a vote to dismiss them ? Or would that be too close to fairness and common sense to be acceptable ? For that to work, we could no longer have a secret ballot. So, fail to vote and WE WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE, so shut your face and drink your pint --- close the door when you leave !

    The British (read GUTTER) Press have set themselves up to print innuendo, rumour, hints, nods and winks as though they were utterly factual. Indeed, they have taken upon themselves to be judge and jury. I agree with a free press, but with freedom comes a responsibility to behave in a decent manner. Bring the matter to the public attention and I applaud you for that --- go on the pillory people you don't like because you found some vague hint that they aren't squeaky clean, then I won't buy you rag. Character assassination based on rumour is right down there in the mire. Seen the behaviour of the press photographers ? If one of their 'victims' pulled a machine gun from under their coat and simply sprayed in a 360 degree burst of fire, I don't think I could find them guilty of anything other than creating litter --- and I might let them off with a £10 fine !

    Maybe that's a bit too extreme :)

  177. Ihre Papiere Bitte!!
    Thumb Up


    Soon she will be subject to all the intrusive laws she introduced, without being able to hide behind the fact that she's an MP. Beautiful. In fact, if we could get rid of these idiotic ideas completely for everyone but her (and any others from the current crowd, especially Harman, Blears, Mcnulty, Darling, Balls, Milliband & Milliband, Brown... I could go on...), then that would be just perfect.

    Now we just need to do something* to stop her and the other bottom-feeders getting their "resettlement grant" of £30-60k when they get booted out, along with a pension we could only dream of.

    *ideas welcome!

  178. Adam Silver badge

    Sure this is a good thing?

    Jack Straw was a less liberal Home Sec. than Michael Howard. Blunkett was less liberal than Straw. Clarke and Reid were just ineffective. Smith was less liberal than Blunkett.

    There's a pattern there that doesn't look good.

  179. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    About time

    Goodbye and good riddance.

    where is redditch? I might move there to vote against her...

  180. Steve Swann

    Let me be the first.... say farewell to our fascist, unelected, privacy-hating, technophobic, unaccountable, thieving, fraudulent treacherous ex-overlords.

    (begins preparing welcome sign for new overlords....)

  181. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh yeah

    It was worth having her in office just to see her being humiliated like this.

    Let the next not be Blunkett. General elections now please, thank you

  182. Anonymous Coward

    Write your personal message to Jacqui Smith

  183. elderlybloke

    When she is dead

    everyone will say nice things about her.

    I have nothing against her , probably because I live down in the South Pacific.

  184. Florence Stanfield
    Thumb Down

    Hope he sacks himself

    and rest of his selected cronies

  185. Dylan Fahey

    I know you don't care, but

    I know you don't care, but it's nice to see you Brits clean house too. It took us over 8 years and a couple of changes of the mop bucket, but we got rid of our morons too. It will take us more than 8 years to correct all the damage done. I tip my hat to ya! Remember, personal freedoms and privacy are at the top of the stack when it comes to the important things in life.

    November 2008 shows what happens when a people are reborn. We here in America have let some knuckle dragging, right wing, moral minority extremists run our government for too long, under the cover of 'we are doing what's morally right!" What a mistake that was. Our latest voting shows that at least some Americans have woken up and been shocked to see the overall effect a religiously run government. We can only improve now, after the terrible depths we have sunken to here in America.

    You can see, hear, and taste what is 'right' concerning life. And the famous qoute (I don't who), "Something doesn't smell right, and I'm not going to eat it", really does apply to all politicians and their baggage. If they don't perform to what you elected them to do, FIRE THEIR DUMB ARSES.

    It's the only sensible thing to do. You'd do it to your plumber, your doctor, whomever didn't perform when getting paid with your good money.

    Good Luck in improving your lives by clearing out the chafe in your government.


  186. John Smith Gold badge
    Thumb Down


    "Poor old Jacqui has simply been conned by them, because she's too stupid (former cooking teacher, remember) to understand the implications of their sinister plans."

    Incredible as it may seem Jacqui is an Oxbridge graduate. Her subject was Economics, not Home Economics. I think hubby is more likely been living on microwave dinners.

    I'd call her behaviour rather more a "Coalition of the willing."

    Authoritarian power mad wing nuts that is.

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