back to article Welsh mum amazed by Marmite Messiah

Aficionados of Jesus simulacra can add a Marmite lid to the list of places the Son of God has chosen to manifest, following a Welsh woman's discovery of the Messiah's likeness formed from the delicious tar-based spread. Claire Allen, 36, spotted the astonishing face as she was poised to poison son Robbie, 4, with Marmite on …


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  1. Flugal
    IT Angle

    Here we go again.

    "“I often see Jesus’ face in a lot of things I do. And there are a few times I can think of when I’ve seen the face of Jesus in a window. But he’s never appeared in my food before.”


    I can't for the life of me think WHY it is always believers who "see" faces of Jesus in things. Wouldn't be anything to do with humans having a predisposition to see human faces in anything, twisted by sky-fairy worshippers to being their saviour.

    Although I did do a shit that looked like Ronaldo the other day...

  2. Steven
    Dead Vulture

    This story means nothing without evidence!

    This story means nothing without photos! And the Welshy newspaper website has been downed by all the god seeking masses wishing to bestow their eyes on his holyness in all his marmity glory.

    We demand pictures!

  3. Colin MacLean

    Me too

    I sometimes see Jesus at the bottom of a beer glass. Usually around my 8th of the day.

  4. Gav
    Thumb Down


    Looks more like the Mekon to me. But then I'm not a loon, just a nerd.

    Seriously though, why is god messing about with sub-Blane magic tricks when there are so many other things omnipotence could be sorting out? You know, minor things like war, famine, Britain's Got Talent?

  5. Nick Goldman

    anti-Marmite bias?

    I'm a bit distressed about some subtle anti-Marmite bias in this article.

  6. Simon
    Jobs Horns

    Love or Hate???

    So this was written by a biased marmite hater... damn you! Damn you all to brown sticky goo hell....

  7. M. Poolman


    definitely Zappa

  8. Lionel Baden

    excuse me ??

    why as of late have we had multi posts on the same article !!

    especially as trivial as this one !!

    if a story is good enough to be re-posted why not just bump the original up again

    It is getting annoying re-reading stuff.

  9. Citizen Kaned

    to me...

    it looks like some beardy hippie with a big fat dooby in his mouth

    how can they see something that looks like someone who is a made up creation of the god squad? i mean if JC really even did exist i dont think he was a white guy was he? :)

  10. Peter Simpson

    Judging from the picture...

    ...He appears to be sticking out his tongue at her.

  11. Dennis

    Re: tar-based spread

    "delicious tar-based spread"

    Are you maligning my mate Marmite ?

  12. Dave Harris Silver badge


    Looks more like Rasputin to me

  13. John Pierce

    Another "appearance" in Texas

    Texas couple finds Jesus in a Cheeto

    Updated: Monday, 18 May 2009, 7:49 AM EDT

    Published : Monday, 18 May 2009, 7:47 AM EDT

    DALLAS - A Dallas couple says they found Jesus in a cheese snack.

    Dan and Sarah Bell bought a bag of Cheetos at a gas station.

    "I had eaten most of the ones out of my hand and this one was still left laying there and I said 'Oh my gosh, look at this! It really looks like a person in a robe praying,'" Sarah Bell said.

    She showed her husband.

    "I just looked over and I went wow! It does look like... it looks like a praying Jesus," Dan Bell said.

    The couple nicknamed it "Cheesus". They said they believe it's a reminder of blessings from God.

    "But primarily I think it's a funny Cheeto," Sarah Bell added

  14. TeeCee Gold badge

    Not Jesus.

    That's the Phantom of the Opera sucking his thumb!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what a loony

    While it does look a little like a person it is nowhere near as good as the cheese sarnie.

    And marmite is lubbly and not satans jiz.

  16. Anonymous Coward

    It looks like...

    George Harrison. Or, at a push, John Lennon...

  17. foo_bar_baz
    Thumb Up

    Looks more like a skinny version of

    Lemmy of Motorhead fame.

  18. pc

    The ace of spades..

    Lemmy - is that you?

  19. Hans
    Thumb Up

    Ann Robinson was right

    and here's the proof

  20. Ray

    Non Devout Believer in Multiple Marmite Miracle Mesmer!

    "I often see Jesus’ face in a lot of things I do"

    Almighty Jah is trying to tell this lady something. I wonder what it could be? My advice to all: you can only ignore prophetic truths like this for so long.

    Also, I seem to remember seeing The First Coming represented in toast format on this site in the not so distant past. Could these two events be related?

    Think about it. Browned Hovis. Marmite. In the Shape of the Face of the Son of God. A New religious festival is henceforth born: Yeaster. THE COMMERCIAL POSSIBILITIES ARE AVAILABLE FOR NEAR LIMITLESS EXPLOITATION.

    Get To It, People.

  21. Paul Murphy

    Yep - looks just like him

    Got that special birthmark as well.

    sheesh - religion is so last century, who really bothers with it any more?


  22. Dark Ian


    A great reason to become religious. Because let's face it, if Jesus wants to make his presence known, he's going to do it through Marmite.

    The only surprise here is that they haven't (yet) tried to sell the lid on eBay.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ah ha!

    " she was poised to poison son Robbie, 4, with Marmite on toast"

    I guess we know not what side of the Marmite line (why does that sound rude?) Lester Haines is on, then.

    And by the way, of all these "I found an image of Jesus in (insert whatever here)", this is the least Jesus-y of the lot. Doesn't even look like a face.

  24. Peter Hawkins
    Thumb Down

    Son of God ??

    Looks more like the bass player from Spinal Tap

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Will somebody please...

    ... forward a link to "Lenin in my shower curtain" to everyone who thinks they've seen a face so it must be Jesus?

    Worshipping a blob of marmite seems to be the textbook definition of idol worship.

  26. Ferry Boat

    Marmite is the mother of invention

    Nope, it's Zappa. He's on the good ship SS Mould too.

  27. Andy ORourke

    Clearly Mad

    “I just looked at it and immediately thought, that’s Jesus Christ.

    “It wasn’t a new jar, but I’d never noticed that before.”

    Well when I looked it looked more like the lid off a marmite jar with some marmite on it

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jesus Christ

    At least that was my response. Either shes a canny operator and will sell this so some bible bashing sucker on ebay for a small fortune, or more likely , shes just another credulous inbred village idiot with zero concept of the idea of random chance producing vaguely face like patterns. With people this dumb in the population is it any wonder that religion gets such a toehold in all civilisations?

  29. Kwac


    is what it looks like to me.

    Silly season starts earlier and earlier every year. Is it related to global warming?

  30. Anonymous Coward

    Looks more like Billy Gibbons

    of ZZ Top.

    If you ask me.

  31. Steve Evans

    Us lovers always knew it...

    'tis the food of the God(s)!

  32. Richard

    I LOVE Marmite

    but being such a scynic if it does look like the holy one, someones put it into photo shop and rotate/twisted it slightly

    Still i'd rather have ol JC in my marmite lid than mould

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "Allen admitted she isn't very religious"...

    “I often see Jesus’ face in a lot of things I do."....

    Best you pretend to be religious love, it's the only way you can get away with seeing things, and listening to voices that aren't there without getting locked up!

  34. SuperTim

    Ok, and the news element is....?

    Assuming that she didnt put it there herself, it doesnt particularly look like jesus. I guess silly season started early this year.....

  35. Greg

    Jesus? That's not Jesus!

    It's Richard!

    Or perhaps it's just a bit of Marmite...

  36. Anonymous Coward


    And look what you can see if you turn it upside down....

  37. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)
    Thumb Up


    Come on, kiddiwinks, how's about a show of thumbs for or not for Marmite?

    I like Marmite, but it's got to be suitably thinly spread and marbled with the butter and not overwhelming.

  38. Anonymous Coward

    How could you forget?

  39. Alistair Stewart

    Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

    Looks more like Ringo Starr to me

  40. DirkGently

    I'm Glad

    Glad to see the Register is spreading the good news.

    Actually, according to the law of averages, someone on the lookout for these kind of images has probably seen it in a pile of dog poo. I guess it would be unlikely they'd call the local rag for that though.

  41. D
    Black Helicopters

    Seeing god on a marmite toast

    is just natures way of telling you to take your medication.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    Who could possibly not like Marmite, suitably thinly spread, marbled with the butter and not overwhelming?

    (Especially when endorsed by Jesus.)

  43. ian

    Looks like Zappa to me

    And as he said: "It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you." Obviously this woman is taking his advice.

  44. Beelzeebub


    God does not exist, and neither do I

  45. John Robson Silver badge

    We're really good

    at seeing faces in things aren't we.

    Just one of the optimisations in the human brain - dedicated facial recognition circuits mean that often we get a "face" signal for really weak images.

    Ho hum...

    I'm not going to hail our new yeast based overlords...

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    My mate Marmite

    Thickly spread, on wholemeal toast by preference.

  47. Joe

    Its NOT Jesus

    It looks nothing at all like the photo I have of him.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Re: *yawn*

    I like Marmite and so does the wife.

    What's wrong with eating tar anyway?

  49. Maliciously Crafted Packet
    Thumb Up

    Marmite is great...

    I like watching Americans try it just to see the look on their faces. For some reason they just don't geddit.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @Sarah Bee

    I'll give it a cautionary thumbs up since it is tolerable that way. Though my anti marmite bias is still there since I was tricked into eating it the first time.

  51. Anonymous Coward


    “I just looked at it and immediately thought, that’s Jesus Christ"

    I looked at it and immediately thought, Jesus Christ.

  52. J


    No clue what that is like.

    Now, why people think like this:

    "We’ve had a tough couple of months; my mum’s been really ill and it’s comforting to think that if he is there, he’s watching over us."

    Instead of:

    "We’ve had a tough couple of months; my mum’s been really ill and I think that if the bastard would stop watching over and jinxing us things might improve. Even better, instead of watching, he might actually DO something, please? Bloody hippie..."


    "I can't for the life of me think WHY it is always believers who "see" faces of Jesus in things."

    Actually, there has been research published recently talking about how what the brain expects to see actually influences the neurons *outside* of the brain, in effect shaping the data to look like what it expects to see. From Nature 459, 7 (7 May 2009):

  53. Steve Evans
    Thumb Up

    @Sarah Bee

    I vote yay!

  54. raving angry loony


    I'm guessing the marmite fumes got to her then. Is it Friday already?

  55. Dave Morris
    Thumb Down

    re: I'm Glad

    At least if it'd been found in dog poo, the medium would have been a bit less offensive...

  56. Jon Thompson

    “People might think I’m nuts"

    Yes... Yes, we do.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up



  58. Anonymous Coward


    God once revealed to me the ways in which we all should live. He did this through the medium of alphabetti spagetti on toast.

    It read:

    apqmnefioqnqefuikrn edsis wewosjnwweosclwekd a wcitrnmgtiovv nhwssnwsidvthpnb acichjnedcoislkjswnef

    I of course eat the tasty message so I have no proof but I urge all non-believers to take heed.

    Consider yourselves warned.

  59. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's nothing

    I had a bowl of spaghetti that looked just like the FSM....

  60. Nordrick Framelhammer

    Thats not Jesus

    The image on the lid of that bottle of used axle grease is a picture of an unshaven Ron Jeremy warming up his tongue before going down on one of his co-stars in one of his epic movies.

  61. David Barr

    Oh for fucks sakes

    It's not Jesus, it's Mohammed. And a Jihad on her for taking the piss out of the paedo prophet!

  62. SisterClamp
    Thumb Up

    Hand it over

    I'll eat Jesus! Lick him off slowly, savouring his salty goodness. Who knows, he might even like it. Should be good for a miracle or two, right?

  63. Jeff
    Thumb Down

    marmite is ok

    But it's nowhere near the levels of awesomeness of Vegemite.

    /yes, I'm an Aussie, how can you tell?

  64. b166er

    How the hell

    did the lid of a Marmite jar become so covered in Marmite?!

  65. Moss Icely Spaceport

    Who knows what Jesus* looks like?

    :: There are no paintings, etchings, sand-drawings from his* time

    :: There are no hi-res photographs or other reliable images

    :: He's* never done any of the talk-show circuits yet...

    :: He* doesn't have a FarceBook page...

    * A 'person' alleged to have actually existed in a physical form, on THIS planet. Not to be confused with his Dad who's pretty much invisible most of the time.

  66. James Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Re: marmite is ok

    I always found vegemite to have a horribly artificial after taste. Marmite is much nicer in my opinion.

    And you can even buy it up here in Norway, so it can't be *that* bad.

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Maliciously Crafted Packet

    Because it taste like dog shit or at least as I imagine it to taste.

  68. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down


    If we're going to discuss marmite then we need a pool of vomit icon.

  69. Doogs


    s'alright I guess... but it's Vegemite makes the taste buds go round!

  70. Graham Bartlett

    Faces in windows

    "...there are a few times I can think of when I’ve seen the face of Jesus in a window..."

    Nope, that's just the local bearded perv looking into your bedroom. Point him in the direction of a sheep-field and he'll leave you alone.

  71. Aram
    Thumb Up

    I, for one,

    welcome our new yeasty-based overlord(s).

    > It wasn’t a new jar

    Damn right; look at the right of the lid - is that discolouration actually mold?

    Sarah - I see you have the power of double-iconnage. Impressive.

  72. S Larti
    Thumb Up

    Marmite. Once loved never left.

    Of all the great accomplishments of the British Empire, Marmite is the greatest.

    Given the source of all Marmitey goodness, the image is clearly of

    The Lord Yeastus

  73. Anonymous Coward

    Was Jesus a cook ? Cause he keeps showing up on food items.

    Potatoes, tomatoes, marmites, burritos, kit-kats and so on.

    I thought he was a fisherman. At most he should show up on fish and Fishermans Friend.

    Or is he just trying to tell us: "bring food, I'm hungry" ?!

    You know the ancient civilizations used to bury their dead with pottery and food and other stuff ? We thought that was silly and primitive, but maybe they were right. So in case Jesus is starving, I say we bury some (still alive) christian zealots with a bunch of burgers, wings, steaks and hotdogs. Bury them in fries and then poor cola and vanilla flavored shakes on them. This should keep Jesus happy for a while.

  74. Alan

    How does anyone know...

    ...what Jesus (if he ever existed) actually looked like? The pictures we see in magazines/bibles/church posters etc., are simply artist impressions of what they think or hope he looked like, with absolutely no idea what he really looked like - there were no cameras 2000 years ago! AFAIAA, there are no 2000 year old paintings of Jesus in existence, so as far as we know, he could have been 6 feet tall (highly unlikely back then) and really good looking, as many of these artist impressions would have us believe, or a 4 foot shortarse with buck teeth, odd eyes, and a hunch back. We simply don't know, do we?

  75. LINCARD1000

    Who needs tastebuds?


  76. Jay
    Thumb Down

    Marmite = Disgusting

    That is all.

  77. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Sarah Bee

    Talking about breakfast AGAIN Mistess Bee?

    First bacon sandwiches, now marmite..... :D

    I personally am ambivalent towards marmite.

    Where's my "thumb in the middle" icon?

  78. Andus McCoatover

    I've seen Adolf Hitler in my bathroom mirror!

    (OK, only when I shave a stupid moustache for fun, comb my hair a funny way, and shout "Sig Heil" so loud the cat shat herself).

    Can I sell my mirror on e-Bay? Probably to some gullible 'merkans. That'll be 300 million potential customers, right?

    Friday icon required.

    (Moderatrix-Marmite is food of the Gods! Us mortals dare not utter it's name. Oops.)

  79. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Was Jesus a cook ? Cause he keeps showing up on food items.

    Maybe it's not Jesus after all. Has anyone seen Captain Birdseye recently?

  80. Tony

    @ J

    "No clue what that is like."

    Marmite was developed as a by product of the brewing industry - it's thick gunge of the consistency of axel grease with a salty, yeasty taste. Most popular on toast although it can used in other ways. Very popular after the war as it wasn't rationed and is packed full of nutrients.

    Sometimes popular with pregnant women (I've seen one licking table spoons full of the stuff). Personally, I can take it or leave it, but most people either really hate it or really love it - in fact their advertising is based entirely around that concept.

    For me though, it has to be Bovril - that's the stuff to give the troops. Spread on bread, added to gravy, used as a basting agent - my favourite is turned into a hot drink (just add boiling water) then slap a good old dash of sherry into it. That's what built an empire!

  81. Lukin Brewer

    It looks more like one of the BeeGees.

    Or Lemmy out of Motorhead. Or Eric Clapton during his hairy phase. Or Mike Ratledge out of Soft Machine. Or, basically, anyone with long, dark, wavy hair who has ever sported a beard and dark glasses.

  82. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Vegemite or nothing

    Marmite is made from cat excrement.

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