back to article Jobs sighted, reality distortion field primed for WWDC?

Evidence has surfaced that Steve Jobs may be hale and hearty enough to put in an appearance during Apple senior vice president of worldwide product marketing Phil Schiller's keynote presentation at the Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) on June 8th. For one, Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak reported Wednesday to attendees at …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    Ah so they are finally releasing...

    after years of expecting they will finally unveil that they have released the thinest and lightest CEO ever, the time he was gone was just so they can work out the bugs and touch up the paint...

  2. jai
    Jobs Halo

    RDF in full effect

    i'm already getting too excited to sleep and there's still so long to go until the show

    i'd assumed that Apple had found a way to synthesize the RDF and had got it running early, but now i realise, with 6 months out of action, He's obviously just flexing and exercising his RDF muscles, limbering up, ready for the WWDC

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hang On

    Sure he wasn't just stopping buy to sign something???

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Two Parking Spaces!

    Egotistical billionaire waktard misanthrope we don't mind, but two parking spaces - what a prick!

  5. TeeCee Gold badge

    Re: Two Parking Spaces!

    Just another typical Mercedes driver then.

    Obviously he needs two parking spaces 'cos he's too fucking useless at driving to get it into one. He bought a Mercedes 'cos everyone knows that owning one grants you the God-given right to do this anywhere you choose.

  6. Dan

    @Bradman Farknilly

    Depends how much you like your cars. I'd rather you think I'm a prick for taking two spaces than ding my car door with yours because the spaces are a bit tight...

  7. richard

    tacky? apple?shurlee not

    'one last thing' is bringing steve back from the dead? is that the tackiest idea ever? at least wheel him on in a white shiny box with pulsing 'sleep' light on the front....

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Apple = Xfiles?

    Can't help feeling Jobsie has a parallel in Fox Mulder.

    ie he generates his own reality distortion field, regularly confounds the sceptics, gets ill, gets abducted by aliens, but comes back just before vanishing again completely in the final series.

    Taking all the ratings/credibility/entertainment with him at that point, I might add. Which doesn't bode well for Apple.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    'Jobs sighted'...

    I hope your fax machine has burned out under the weight of CVs.

  10. Anonymous Coward


    "Depends how much you like your cars. I'd rather you think I'm a prick for taking two spaces than ding my car door with yours because the spaces are a bit tight..."

    Yeah, this is why I key any car I see doing this - so then they can see that pissing off every "law abiding" user of the car park is not a guaranteed way so protect your precious pose-mobile!

  11. Columbus

    disabled parking spaces

    if you check out or the pirates of silicon valley you will find that he previously used to always park in the handicapped spaces - enter every joke in the book....

    Like most self made egotistical geniuses the rules for normal people don't apply to him :)

  12. Richard
    Jobs Halo


    First, he walked in, didn't float in on a pair of bubble-blowing hovercraft birkenstocks. Second, a Mercedes? Seems a bit cliche, and rather 80s. Now, a Bugatti Veyron, THAT is how you stick it in the face of the unwashed masses.

    Seriously, I hope he's recovered and doing well.

  13. Kristian Walsh Silver badge


    Mr Jobs used two *parking spaces*? That's very unusual. The lane marked "Fire Dept Use Only" outside the main entrance is the traditional CEO parking bay.

    (Bonus movie trivia: the scene in "Toy Story 2" where bad guy toy collector parks his car across two disabled spots outside his own shop is a dig at SJ)

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns


    "he parked his Mercedes in his customary two parking spaces"

    Oh he's one of those tossers if he? Used to have one of those where I used to work. Audi A8 diagonal across two bays in an already very packed car park. No attempt to fit it in a bay, or put it in a bay on the end which was wider.

    He never put his parking permit in the window, so there was no way to know who he was, or if he was even entitled to be there...

    So I took to parking my old banger diagonally next to him, doing my best to get my passenger side within about 6 inches of his drivers door... I didn't care if my old car got another dent... Plus mine was steel and I know his is aluminium (Aluminum for those in the colonies), and we all know which of those is stronger and springs back better... Oh, and yes I hid my permit too... Used to love watching him from the office window and having to climb in the passenger side...

    Used to make my day that did :-)


  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Merc Drivers

    What is it about Merc drivers acting like total pricks whenever they need to park? The last place I worked at the MD drove a silver SL series and he sent out an email reminding staff that the visitors parking spaces were for VISITORS ONLY !! (his capitals and exclamation marks, not mine). The rule of course never applied to him and whenever he decided to honour us with his presence we often saw his car parked in a visitor spot.

    Shame the factory burned down, init!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Of course, Woz isn't an oncologist. "

    Colour me surprised, because he seems to be just about everything else these days!

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