back to article Lost jungle tribe research: Nice guys can get the girls

Interesting news today for male Reg readers living in primitive, murderous jungle warrior societies. New research indicates that, while in general the more violent and aggressive you are the more success with the ladies you will have, there is a point at which diminishing returns set in. News regarding the limitations of …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "Not really good news for nice guys, then: it seems the only place where they sometimes get the girl is in societies which are about to wipe themselves out. "

    This should be great news for the Geeks in NuLabors Britain.

  2. Mark Wills


    "men who had participated in a homicide had significantly more wives and children than their less warlike brethren"

    Yeah, 'cos they killed the hubby and nicked the wifey.

    Is it me?

  3. Ray

    Self fulfilling prophecy

    I'm a nice guy! If the end of civilisation is necessary for me to secure a mate, those fools can go killing all day long, as far as I care.

    I do have one teensy niggle, however: now I have this knowledge, does wishing for the end of society as we know it mean that I'm not a nice guy any more?

  4. Hollerith

    Not really a choice

    Warlike people enslave the women of the defeated tribe. Violence results in domination. It depends on what you mean by getting the ladies. You can own human beings and subject them to intercourse, giving you servants for life and children, but that's not exactly winning hearts and minds, is it?

  5. NogginTheNog
    Thumb Down

    Gender issue?

    Maybe instead of focussing on whether nice guys or bastards are more successful at getting laid, we should look at why women are such shallow bitches?!! :-D

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I'm a nice guy

    And what's more, I'm happily married, so I don't need to participate in this. Other than laughing at it from a disrespectful distance of course.

  7. Anonymous Coward

    @Self fulfilling prophecy

    Better yet.

    I'm a nice guy, and it takes the end of civilization for me to get laid.

    Is it time to release that genetically engineered smallpox virus I've been working on?

    Am I still a nice guy? Will I then not get laid because I destroyed humanity.

  8. bobbles31

    Silastic Armorfiends

    Krikkit anyone?

    Mines the one with "Missing the big DA" on the back.

  9. D. M
    Thumb Down

    Survive the fittest

    It is simple really. Back then nice guy won't survive, therefore, female seeks the strong one who can survive, which are sadly those bastards. If women were not "shallow bitches", human won't survive.

    We are all born to be bastard,. Not good news to nerd like myself.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    @NogginTheNog and the niceAC

    I thought the theory in societies where men and women freely paired up was that women were genetically programmed to find a nice guy to marry and raise their kids... then go and find a bastard to sire them.

    Should this get a smiley face or a sad face?

  11. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Gender issue?

    Hmm. Are you trying to demonstrate your bastard credentials there, Noggin? Must try harder.

  12. Anonymous Coward

    Only at the end of civilisation?

    So you're saying I should vote Labour and move to Dundee?

    @13:09 AC

    I think that it was summed up quite well by Scott Adams- women have no real desire to mate with engineers, but love to date them.

  13. blackworx


    Er, two words - evolutionary stability. Very old hat.

  14. Colin Millar

    But what was the conclusion of the research?

    Chuck Norris, Ninjas, Pirates, or the waorani?

  15. Mark S

    Need funding...

    for ethically-challenged sociology research project.

    Yanomamo vs. Maori vs. Masai vs. Waorani in ultimate fighting championship, village on village, last man standing gets the girls.

  16. P. Lee

    But is Dexter happy?

    In my neck of the woods, I was rather hoping that the homicidal were put away. That's how it works on CSI anyway.

    I'm a nice guy and married too, so stuff evolution, maybe its *gasp* cultural!

    Its just the same as the Americans (who like to murder each other) and the Canadians (who don't).

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    When dating online, I find a lot of women who are married or have a boyfriend that's an real ass but whom she never actually leaves.

    My experience is that while the nice guy often doesn't get the girl, he often get to borrow her.

    Maybe the women are sneaking off to have some quality time with a guy who treats them nice, while their husbands are off on their violent escapes.

  18. Al Pha

    Sounds Like.....

    Wolverhampton on a Saturday night (I should know I live there).

    Mine's the Kevlar waistcoat.

  19. Allan Dyer

    Biased sampling

    Seems like there were three groups:

    A. Warlike bastards

    B. Ordinary nice guys

    C. Clever nice guys

    The researchers do their research after all the killing... group B is pretty much all dead, they don't get the girls, but they also don't get counted. Group C is clever enough to smooth-talk the girls, and therefore scores higher.

    Alternatively, the really nasty bastards all lied about being nice guys, and anyone who disagreed had unfortunate accidents...

  20. Anonymous Coward

    Men are from uranus

    There seems to be a big mismatch. Clever women would like clever men, but they are usually incapable of talking sensibly (and unboringly) to women. I reckon it's the men who can hold a decent, funny conversation that get laid most, whether that be warrior or nerd.


    Where's our Paris equivalent then, eh? Or is that on the ladies version of El Reg, Helen Reg?

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