back to article Car-prang secretary bites off boss's todger

A Singapore woman who hired a private detective to probe her husband's suspected infidelities got more than sufficient material for a divorce when the gumshoe witnessed the chap's secretary accidently bite off his todger. According to reports in China Press and, we kid you not, the Sin Chew Daily, the 30-year-old woman was …

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  1. SuperTim
    Paris Hilton

    Hmmm.....

    I am sure i have heard this before.....

    Does the Sin Chew really have a story here? i would suspect it is a bit of a fib.

    Paris, erm.... obviously!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Beware a new (blow) Job

    You can bite off more than you can chew :)

  3. Dan
    Coat

    Sorry...

    ...but if the subject of the private dick in question, had indeed kept his dick a bit more private, this wouldn't have happened!

    Seriously though, ouch!

    I doubt it was a great day at work for the secretary either...

  4. Daniele Procida

    No bears or wrestling

    This almost sounds as though it could have come from a John Irving novel.

  5. Edwin
    Coat

    but was it

    ...bitten off in a Buick?

  6. bluesxman
    Coat

    curent state

    "Reports do not note the current state of the man's marriage, nor of his penis" ... Presumably in tatters, on both counts.

  7. David S

    Reminds me of a movie plot.

    Am I thinking of "The World According to Garp"? I think so, but it's been a while...

  8. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Do you have any idea...

    ... how hard it is to type with one's legs crossed?

    Paris, because, well, kinda obvious, no? And besides, she's another with tears in her eyes.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Heh, "private dick"

    although said gumshoe might do well to acquaint himself with the works of John Irving, specifically The World According to Garp, which features a similar leg-crossing moment

  10. dreadful scathe
    Stop

    ffs its lunchtime

    just...ow!

  11. Tom
    Alert

    World according to Garp

    *ouch*

  12. Wun Hung Lo
    Paris Hilton

    Title goes here

    So there was a loud scream from the woman? What about the man FFS? Didn't he yell too?

    Paris, because she'd watch out for reversing vans.

  13. Emo
    Paris Hilton

    Ouch

    Lets hope she spat on that occasion!

    Paris, coz like all turkeys, she likes a gobble too.

  14. Jason
    Joke

    Oh no!

    Surely this must be the tip-off the private dick must have been waiting for?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Well all I can hope...

    ...is that she didn't swallow!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Daniele

    Don't forget Vienna!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    12 comments so far...

    ... and assuming moderator lag hasn't allowed this to be said before let me be the first to say that I bet he's glad she didn't swallow.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    never

    can anyone guess what wont be happening in my car ever?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    i could be wrong but,

    I heard she was feeling guilty afterwards. she had a bit of a lump in her throat.

    I'll get my coat.

  20. Luis Ogando
    Joke

    Flacid

    This is not too impressive. I mean, if some of the birds in my office were doing that to be I'd be like an iron flippin' bar! If they chomped down they'd probably break their teeth!!

    <\uberBrag>

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Aaaarrrrgggghhh!!!

    @Wun Hung Lo

    "What about the man FFS? Didn't he yell too?"

    I expect he sounded like a women when he yelled.

    Or perhaps he is no longer a man.

  22. Adrian Challinor
    Paris Hilton

    I think we need ....

    ... a Playmobile reconstrution of this.

    Paris, because she can afford a hotel room to avoid such incidents.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    yeah right.

    the tissue is very fibrous and i doubt a little thump from a van would have caused here to get super strong jaws.

    utter rubbish

  24. Mike Flugennock
    Coat

    "Sin Chew" Daily?

    Sin Chew?

    D'ahh ha ha ha ha ha hahhh. Sigh. Nevermind.

  25. Mr Nobody
    Coat

    Wrong tag ?

    SHouldn't this be posted under 'Bobbit Notes' ?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ AC 11:52

    Is it that thing that doesn't happen in your bedroom either?

  27. Toastan Buttar
    Happy

    @Jason

    <applause>

    Classic !

  28. Andrew Moore

    Garpesque?

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

  29. Rob
    Coat

    She should be sacked...

    ... for gross negligence cause she seemed to be using her teeth for the (eerrrr...) job.

    On the flip side she can thank her lucky stars she didn't choke to death.

    Mine's the one with the Health & Safety Sex Manual in the pocket.

  30. Fluffykins Silver badge

    H'mmm

    The thing is: Will 'ee survive or won't 'ee?

    This should be for registered subscribers only. It looks more like a "members only" story.

    What do think the PI used for his case notes? A dicktaphone?

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Bite the....

    So, broadening your remit beyond stuff that bites the hand that feeds IT then!

  32. neb
    Go

    aha

    the di/dodi injury (allegedly)

    pictures or it never happened

  33. Don Sinclair

    The missing link

    Apparently, and acording to reliable sources the story doesn't end there. Apparently during the journey to the hospital, the ambulance drove over a large pot hole in the road resulting in the dismembered member leaving the hand of the paramedic, flying out of he ambulance window and hitting the windscreen of the car behind. The driver, shocked at seeing this, turned to his passenger and shouted: 'GOD DID YOU SEE THE SZE OF THE COCK ON THAT FLY!?'.......ARP ARP

  34. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
    Anonymous Coward

    balderdash

    In my youth, the students at every high school in the US firmly believed that such an incident had occurred at some other high school within about a 15 mile radius. Then there was the fainting cheerleader...

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    glad I don't have to worry

    As the better half says she'll never eat anything she can't cut up and cook.

  36. Ishkandar

    @AC 12.33

    "s it that thing that doesn't happen in your bedroom either?"

    Well, it'll take a bloody great lorry to bump the bedroom !!

  37. Ishkandar
    Happy

    @Fluffykins

    "What do think the PI used for his case notes? A dicktaphone?"

    No, he was probably using a 3G vibrator (phone, that is) !! Full function sound and video and a large storage in the add-on memory card, too !! And he can send the evidence to his client at the press of a button !! Ah, the joys of modern science !!

    A warning to all other guys trying this in their car - make sure she takes off her denture first !!

  38. The Voice of Reason
    Joke

    Hmm....

    This story sounds like gobble-de-gook, if you'll pardon the expression!

  39. elderlybloke
    Thumb Up

    I'm Sorry

    but I have been reduced to tears over this story.

    I must confess-it is from laughing.

    I suspect that it is a made up story though.

  40. Francis Offord
    Joke

    Well Really

    Are you certain it was not in Cockermouth?

  41. WinHatter
    Pirate

    Sin Chew are late.

    April Fool's Day missed by complete month.

    A serious rearending of the van tends to OHHpen the jaws not snap.

    As for him that'll teach him to be a cheap of the cheap.

  42. Alan Ferris
    Coat

    One can just hope...

    ...that she didn't get the sack, as well

  43. Scott Harman
    Paris Hilton

    News of the Weird

    Love the picture in the metro story... subtitled "What a couple having an affair in a car might look like "

    http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Woman_bites_lovers_penis_off_in_car_crash&in_article_id=646575&in_page_id=2

    I wonder if that was shot in their carpark or if the range of images on stock photo websites is much more top-shelf than I gave them credit for?

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