back to article Kebabs pose 'no danger whatsoever', Russians claim

We're not quite sure what Pravda has got against vegetarians, but having last year slammed meat-dodgers as a "perversion of nature", it's now declared them limitlessly insane. Fair enough, but in debunking six veggie myths - including that salad-fanciers are slimmer, healthier and live longer than those for whom the bacon …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    Is it Friday allready?!?

    A quick check on the Windows Clock.... Oh Shi-- ~it's only Tuesday~ T_T

    It's cold again so I'll probably need my Coat...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And the award...

    ..for the most use of 'as a matter of fact' goes to

    *drum roll*

    your second linked article!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Helped me lose weight!

    I was a 24st fatty with a real meat fixation, since giving it up I have lost 7st just switching to alternatives. I don't give a stuff about politics, animal welfare and any of that cack, I did it for purely health reasons. I am, my missus is but my kids aren't. We still cook them meat and take them to MaccyD's when they want.

    So pack all that cack about sterotypical veggies, being palid, boring and sanctimonious. I love the smell of a roast joint and the smell of a bacon cooking just drives me nutty, it's one of the best food smells going!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Well, it's true.

    Humans evolved as omnivores... we can't even digest cellulose. Vegetarians are all completely mad, vegans even more so.

  5. Cameron Colley

    I am Alicia Silverstone and I am photoshopped.

    Pretty pointless poster -- anyone can look like that in a photo nowadays, herbivore or not.

  6. Anonymous Coward


    ...actually a proper kebab is not that bad for you.

    The shit you get from your local chippy / burger van that resembles a giant turd on a stick, well that's a different matter.

    Same way that a home made burger is far better for you than a slap of processed crap from your local burger joint.

    Quality ingredients = equal quality product

    Cheap ingredients = something you only eat when pissed or desperate.

  7. Matthew Ralston

    No surprises there...

    There is a well known phrase in Russia about it's two biggest newspapers:

    "In the Pravda there is no truth and in the Novostiy there is no news."

    ("pravda" is the Russian word for "truth" and "novostiy" means "news")

    I've never read it, but I'm lead to believe that the Pravda contains about as much factual information as the Sunday Sport.

    No Russian would bat an eyelid at this story.

  8. Anonymous Coward

    @ Helped me lose weight!

    So, you consider a McDonald's to be "real meat"? No wonder you lost weight when you stopped eating "real meat" then. Freak.

  9. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    @ Stu Reeves

    Correct-a-mundo fine Sir.

    My home made kebabs are to die for, no fat, not added anything, no salt.

    100% natural.

    Friday is kebab night......

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Re : Cameron Colley

    No, not _anyone_.

    Some people would need a complete photo replacement to even start looking as slim as the building she's in front of.

    No some people would make even Photoshop go BSOD.

  11. blackworx
    Dead Vulture

    Oh dear

    "...the poor girl looks like she's gagging for a bit of hot meat action."

    That's just shoddy Lester.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You know, what the hell

    I'm going to plug just for the sake of it. I can strongly recommend their kangaroo meat, it's extremely yummy. The crocodile burgers were very popular at my barbecue also.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What do those same Russian scientists have to say

    about the health benefits of naked ladies? I for one would be happy to volunteer for such a trial, provided I'm not in the control group

  14. Dan
    Thumb Up

    Yay for stu reeves

    Hear hear, there's nothing better than a good steak burger from the butcher, with some Brie, cherry tomatoes and posh onion marmalade on a good quality bread bun. Stick your macdonalds where the sun don't shine!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I am Alicia Silverstone and I...

    ...really need a bacon sandwich. Or two. Get some meat on you girl!

  16. Tony Green


    I always find it amusing how often meat eaters (especially male ones) seem to feel threatened by the fact that some people can actually feed themselves without the need for something to have its throat cut. Certainly the anonymous coward who said "Vegetarians are all completely mad" seems terribly frightened.

    If a chunk of meat came between me and starvation, I'd eat it (in fact if it was a chunk of meat or a McDonald's veggie meal, the meat would still win) but all the evidence is that a vegetarian diet is actually FAR healthier than a carnivorous one. One long-term study showed that vegetarians live an average of 8 years longer than carnivores, but despite those extra years, they cost the NHS an average of £40000 LESS.

    ...and giving up the meat stopped me needing a constant supply of painkillers for my arthritis, so it was worthwhile just for that

  17. Mad Mike

    Weight Gain

    I can pretty much guarantee that should I knock her up a bit of 'hot meat action' as per your story, she'll put on a fair bit of weight. Fortunately, it's only temporary and will be gone in 9 months time..........................

  18. Dave Bell

    Don't trust either side.

    There are extremists on all sides of the healthy food debate.

    We're omnivores, but it is likely that many of us eat too much meat.

    Unlike, for instance, cats, we don't have to eat meat.

    We may be taking more risks with how we handle foof preparation, and that's what can turn kebabs into a killer.

  19. Juan Inamillion
    Thumb Up

    @Stu Reeves


    As one who has occasionally indulged in midnight munchie madness at the Most Excellent Marathon Kebab house in Chalk Farm Road, I can personally attest, as can many others, to the superior quality of the offerings from this fine establishment. They have late night live music too.

    p.s. 'turd on a stick' - priceless!

  20. Smallbrainfield

    I am Alicia Silverstone

    and I haven't made any good films in a while.

    Kebabs are great stuff after a night out, replacing lost salts and other stuff, probably. I even eat the slice of cucumber.

  21. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Weight Gain

    Everyone look at Mad Mike pityingly.

  22. Elmer Phud

    Inna Bun

    As Disembowel Myself Most Honourably Diblah would attest, the most dangerous thing about a kebab is pissing off the bloke with the huge carving knife.

    And, to agree with Stu, some chunks of lamb or pork cooked over a flame is not exactly the same as deep-frying. O.K., be careful of the Doner but that's mainly down to it all falling apart while you're trying to eat one and drive at the same time.

    Can I have chili sauce on mine?

  23. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: @Stu Reeves

    The Marathon is in fact the greatest place ever. But I don't think I've ever actually eaten there. They do a good Irish coffee, though.

    There was an amazing kebab place in Camden right by the tube a few years ago - took them a good 20 mins to do two flame-grilled kebabs (done like wraps rather than the usual spreadeagled pitta thing) but we practically wept eating them, they were so good. Someone else came in wanting chips - the place didn't do chips. Sadly and inevitably it didn't last long. I hope some drunk jonesing on terrible junk food didn't beat them up.

  24. Mark

    To quote maddox....

    .... for every animal you do NOT eat, I will eat THREE!

  25. Luther Blissett

    Lester shot his bolt prematurely?

    Alicia Siverstone is a good reason for a pic of Alicia Silverstone. However she is not a convincing counterexample.

    I have a better one, much closer to home, or rather, home$. Our very own, and equally famous in her own way, Homes Secretary Jacqui Sniff. Her affection for kebabing is well known, as is her popular name of Five Bellies, neither of which has prevented her from enjoying the fruits of other peoples labour.

    (Also pics of Five Bellies are readily available, albeit not AFAIK presenting all five bellies to the camera at the same time).

  26. Dave

    @Luther Blissett

    Ugh! Where's the mind bleach? I have this vague, formless image of the Rt Hon. Home Secretary in the same pose as Alicia Silverstone.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    Why is this NSFW? Oh, because of the advertisement advocating vegetarianism / veganism / terr'ism.

  28. A J Stiles

    Alicia Silverstone - pah

    No doubt somebody will point out that Alicia Silverstone being an ovo-lacto-vegetarian is not really doing much less damage that a full-on m**t-eater, and that anyone who is not a vegan is part of the problem rather than part of the solution.

    And someone will undoubtedly castigate that vegan for still contributing to environmental damage by cooking their food, and that raw veganism is The Way.

    This will be followed in turn by someone else pointing out that raw veganism is still causing unnecessary suffering to plants, and that everyone who is not a fruitarian is a raging hypocrite.

    All this is remeniscent of little boys engaging in pissing contests because they can't think of anything more interesting to do with their dicks.

  29. Sweep

    Lips and assholes!

    Nothing wrong with a proper shish kebab- grilled lean meat with vegetables and bread. There surely aren't many healthier takeaway foods.

    Donner kebabs, on the other hand; fatty, reclaimed, unidentified meat, heated and reheated over a period of several days......i remember seeing one of my local kebab shops getting the meat delivered- the driver just left it leaning against the wall outside, uncovered........tasty kebabs though =)

  30. Anonymous Coward


    >One long-term study showed that vegetarians live an average of 8 years longer than carnivores, but despite those extra years, they cost the NHS an average of £40000 LESS.

    <grin> They also tend to be more intelligent than average, although we don't know if that's because the veg improves the mind, the discipline of avoiding meat improves the mind, eating meat makes you dumber, or that brighter people are more likely to choose to be veggie.

    Me, I'll stick to what I'm evolved for - small amounts of fresh, decent quality meat on an irregular and infrequent basis.

  31. Dennis


    "Ugh! Where's the mind bleach? I have this vague, formless image of the Rt Hon. Home Secretary in the same pose as Alicia Silverstone."

    Think classical. Think Baroque. Think Rubens.

    Rubenesque : a pear-shaped woman of ample bust, plump cheeks, soft-full lips, and a healthy profile of alluring curves and crevasses.

  32. Scott

    @A J Stiles

    Give me ten pints of larger and a kebab and i'll out pi*s any vegan.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    > We're omnivores, but it is likely that many of us eat too much meat

    > for instance, cats

    YOU EAT KITTENS !!!???!!!!!

    > .... for every animal you do NOT eat, I will eat THREE!


    Paris, because... no really its just too obvious why in a kitten post its Paris...

  34. Maty

    Eating meat is natural

    Eating large amounts of meat every day isn't. And your bowels did not evolve handling large amounts of processed meat like bacon.

    But how is it that some natural instincts - such as men hitting any woman they fancy with a club and dragging her off to a cave - are considered impolite these days, while it is a legitimate excuse to eat meat because 'it's only natural'?

    In the interests of full disclosure, I'll add that I'm a vegetarian - not because I love animals, but because I hate plants.

  35. Robert Moore

    What do you do

    If you just don't like the taste of Vegies?

    As for Alicia Silverstone, she is quite possibly the worst actress ever.

    I can not think of a single move she was in that was any good.

    I am going to grill up a couple of steaks after work, who's with me?

    I wonder what Penguin tastes like.

  36. Simon Langley

    Mark will die satisfyingly fat and spotty


    Can you add in all the animals I won't eat too? The only problem from your perspective is you will be so fat, spotty and unfit that you will die too young to make up the difference.

    Nevertheless, why not die trying?

    Whatever one feels about the morality of meat eating, there is ample evidence that vegetarians live longer than meat eaters. Don't think we won't dance a little jig while we read your obituary Mark.

  37. Anonymous Coward


    Since I became a veggie, I have put on a huge amount of weight. It sucks. I am not alone either: I know a lot of fat vegetarians.

    I long for a nice red steak or nicely done fish with a salad. Unfortunately Quorn doesn't quite cut it even though its come a long way in recent years.

  38. Geoff Kennedy

    Carrot Juice is Murder...

    Listen up brothers and sisters,

    come hear my desperate tale.

    I speak of our friends of nature,

    trapped in the dirt like a jail.

    Vegetables live in oppression,

    served on our tables each night.

    This killing of veggies is madness,

    I say we take up the fight.

    Salads are only for murderers,

    coleslaw's a fascist regime.

    Don't think that they don't have feelings,

    just cause a radish can't scream.


    I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)

    Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)

    Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)

    How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)

    Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)

    Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)

    It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)

    Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)

    I saw a man eating celery,

    so I beat him black and blue.

    If he ever touches a sprout again,

    I'll bite him clean in two.

    I'm a political prisoner,

    trapped in a windowless cage.

    Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips

    by killing five men in a rage

    I told the judge when he sentenced me,

    This is my finest hour,

    I'd kill those farmers again

    just to save one more cauliflower


    How low as people do we dare to stoop,

    Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?

    Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes

    Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato!

    I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)

    Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stirfry are sealed)

    Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gormet slob)

    How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field)

    Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)

    Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)

    It's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)

    Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade.....

  39. J

    Infanticide is natural too...

    And so is piracy. Ah, the good ole naturalistic fallacy.

  40. James O'Brien

    Cant believe I get to do this

    In Soviet Russia the Vegetable east YOU!!

    /Lame yes I know give me my coat and ill leave

  41. James O'Brien
    Thumb Down

    Followup to my previous post

    I really should proofread stuff before I post it

  42. O

    @ AC - Re: Helped me lose weight!

    I seriously think you need to sit down and evaluate why you're taking your kids to McDonald's ...

    You were morbidly obese and unhealthy and have turned your life around, and yet you take your kids to the veritable Mecca of unhealthiness, obesity and horrible, horrible food. Why would you want to indoctrinate the next generation (especially your own kids)? Why would you want them to eat anything less than healthy / excellent food? You don't have to turn them vegetarian overnight, but don't feed them junk! If they're going to eat meat, give it to them sparingly and let it be free-range / organic. For goodness sake don't live vicariously through them!

    I don't mean to be offensive in any way, and hopefully you'll read it.

    I just can't understand why parents - willfully and knowingly - feed their kids crap.

  43. P. Lee
    Dead Vulture

    Impossible vs improbably

    Yeah vegetarians can be just as fat and unhealthy as meat-eaters, sometimes even more so, but its generally the lacto-ovo ones. You know, the ones that still eat animal products.

    Have you ever seen a fat vegan?

    @Tony Green: You'll find that when you tell people something they know to be true but which they really want to disregard, they always get a bit aggressive.

    To be healthy you need a balanced diet. You don't need steaks, chicken, fish, butter or cream for that. It might be convenient or delicious, but you don't need it. And there is quite a lot of evidence that eating it can (not will) make you sick.

    Tombstone: there's no avoiding it isn't a race to get there!

  44. jake Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    @AC 14:53, @Robert Moore, @Greg Fleming

    "we don't know if that's because the veg improves the mind, the discipline of avoiding meat improves the mind, eating meat makes you dumber, or that brighter people are more likely to choose to be veggie."

    Probably because the stupid ones die off or go back to meat due to lack of nutrition. (As a side note, the Wife & I are semi-vegetarian, but we probably do around 8oz of animal protein a week each.)

    "I wonder what Penguin tastes like."

    Fish. Seriously. Was an accident at San Diego Zoo when I was pre-vet, killed the bird instantly. We decided waste-not, want not ...

    "Since I became a veggie, I have put on a huge amount of weight. It sucks."

    Get out from behind your computer, get some exercise, and cut back your rations! Furrfu!

  45. Dave
    Paris Hilton

    @ Dennis

    "Rubenesque : a pear-shaped woman of ample bust, plump cheeks, soft-full lips, and a healthy profile of alluring curves and crevasses."

    Yes, think Nigella Lawson, Kirsty Allsop, and thats nice and healthy....err and excuse me for a few minutes.

    Right Ok, think Jaqui Smiff, and all I think of is the film clip in the original Reggie Perrin when the mother in law is mentioned.

    ....err excuse me for a few minutes, I need to examine the inside of the toilet bowl

  46. Anonymous Coward

    gagging for a bit of hot meat

    Where do I sign up for this?

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Jake

    <hangs head in shame>

    Yes, you are actually 100% correct. Too little exercise and a sedentary lifestyle. I'm a lazy fat bastard. I used to swim five times a week, but don't anymore.

    </hangs head in shame>

  48. Goat Jam

    Living longer

    If you want to live longer, then you simply have to stop doing all the things that make you want to live longer.

    Mine's the one with the biltong in the pocket.

  49. jake Silver badge

    @Greg Fleming

    Greg, I'm nearly 50, a hair over 5'11" and about 175lbs (12.5 stone). A little over ten years ago, when I was getting close to 40, I was closer to 22 stone (I took a couple years off from computing to be sous chef at a major restaurant ... after working with animals, I love to cook ... computers and networks are only there to pay the bills). Long story short, I had a heart attack.

    Today, I'm fitter than I was when I played Cricket & Rugby for Kings College, and college football (USA version) and baseball for Berkeley. This afternoon, I was throwing around 110lb bails of alfalfa, restacking them 6 high for my wife (the guy driving the clamp from the feed-store parked 'em in the wrong place when nobody was looking, and we have rain in the area ... don't want mildewed horse chow!). The quacks can't find any trace of my heart attack anymore.

    Do yourself a favo(u)r, Greg, don't go thru' what I did. The only person you are fooling is yourself. I know. I've been there. I mean this in the friendliest way possible.

    Off topic? Absolutely. Valid post? In my world it is ... If you haven't been there, you don't know.

  50. jake Silver badge

    As a side note ...

    When I hit the "back" button after posting the above answer to Greg (assuming the Mod(s) allow it), I couldn't help but notice that the PETA spokes-nude has what appears to be zero muscle tone ... I'm not saying she's fat, but rather that she probably needs help opening her paycheck envelope.

    Maybe it's just me ...

  51. Anonymous Coward

    RE: Maty

    That's not the reason at all, generally by the time you have got into position the young lady is running down the road screaming "There is a man half way up a step ladder with no pants on!" If they would just keep still long enough we would all be hitting them over the head with our club and dragging them back to our caves. Tsk Tsk.

  52. Steve

    @ Paranoia?

    "but all the evidence is that a vegetarian diet is actually FAR healthier than a carnivorous one."

    Utter bullshit - what the evidence actually shows is that most vegetarians tend to do more exercise and pay more attention to their general health. Once you factor them out, you're left with a bunch of lard-arses shoveling there faces full of chips and cake. However, there does seem to be significant evidence that a vegetarian diet leads to an inability to distinguish between causation and correlation.

    Maybe the reason you find normal eaters get "defensive" about your herbivorous diet is the fact that, after feigning shock at this attitude, you went straight on to tell us all why herbivores and better than everyone else.

  53. ElFatbob

    The future is edible clothing....

  54. Tony


    Where is the picture of the naked bloke with the funny moustache?

    "I'm Hitler and I'm a vegetarian"

  55. Dave

    @Robert Moore

    Who said anything about acting?

  56. Jared Earle
    Thumb Down


    "I'm Hitler and I'm a vegetarian"

    No, he wasn't.

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