Outstanding work. Am I the only one who read, "carefully" for "carelessly"?
The following concludes episodes 4b, 4c and 5b, which are available exclusively to Register Platinum Cookie readers (with access to the content opulent Register Website). For the benefit of general (Lead Cookie) readers, the following flashback snippets have been approved for distribution: Boss: You Bastards! (Episode 4b) …
does this mean? "The following concludes episodes 4b, 4c and 5b, which are available exclusively to Register Platinum Cookie readers (with access to the content opulent Register Website). For the benefit of general (Lead Cookie) readers, the following flashback snippets have been approved for distribution:"
For f's sake - surey the reg hasn't stooped to multi-levels of users? Pathetic if it has. Hopefully, this is just some kind of joke that I will get the punch line to some point in the future...
... Is a gravely voice over....
"In the world if I.T. their are 2 different and separate organizations.
The I.T. Department who investigate and solve serious Network issues.
And the managers who appose them...
These are their stories....."
Mine is the judges robe with the black hankie in the pocket....
oh come on... when are you going to release those missing episodes ? :(
don't forget that lead cookies can vary in shape, most common lead cookies come in the form of bullets through windows :P
//resident bastard signing off ... i'm off to buy some cookies from the local huntin^H^H^H^H^H^H cookie shop.
For those of you asking where episode 5 is, it is here:
And has been for a fortnight. It is also the top story in the 'most read' panel to the right of the story.
Goggles, as you should really wear your glasses if you are short-sighted.
How about some of the critics on here try their own hands at a BOFH type story? It's not as easy as you might think. I've been trying to write a set of BOFH TV scripts as an exercise, and it's a lot more difficult than I thought it would be when I started.
So, who's up for it? Let's have a competition. Winner gets induction into the Grand Mastership of Bastards, losers get induction into their central nervous systems at 400,000 volts.
... was pretty good, 4c was so-so, but 5b was excellent, especially with this episode to conclude the trilogy!!!
EMJ, click that button over there ------->> on the left side of the page and you'll see the other episodes, if that doesnt work, you can press alt +F4 and it will list all the episodes for you.
Time for coat and head to the bar... mines the ones with the prinout copies of episodes 4b, 4c, and 5b in the pocket!!
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I have to point out that lead cookie holders might have been a bit confused having missed previous episodes. However, if given suitable incentives - beer, cash and (in appropriate cases) sex - I might be persuaded to torrent the relevant episodes through pirate bay.
The cost will high, for the wrath of the BOFH is not lightly incurred, but I feel it is my duty to get the missing episodes out to all you lead cookie plebs out there.
"Just checked the BOFH archive and confirmed that episode 5 of 2009 is missing!!!! Has the BOFH deleted it, shredded the only print out of it and wiped all archive records of it???"
No -- http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/04/17/bofh_gta/
To never miss a BOFH: http://search.theregister.co.uk/?author=Simon%20Travaglia
Reg Platinum Cookie??? Where was this option when I signed up? I never saw it and would happily pay upwards of five salted kippers a week for the privilege of an El Reg Platinum Cookie membership. I demand that I immediately be upgraded and the funds be drawn directly from my fish monger/banker with all due haste, account details to follow.
This was a different but very good BOFH, it's nice to see you branching out Simon :-). Oh and by the way "perjurous casserole of untruths" was brilliant and nearly made me spit tea all over my monitor.
I finally let IE8 install itself yesterday and it appears to have zorched all the cookies all over my drive! All I can find in my backups is one of those stupid plastic ones that El Reg foisted last October, what a useless thing, all it got me was a view of a Lego people terrorist onslaught.
What was the Boss doing in 4c when he said "Bastards!", was he leaning on the desk and suddenly realizing a truth, or was he clenching his fists as he stood in the middle of the room, having finally mustered the nerve to speak up, someone, please tell me! Aaargh!
This was one of the freshest BOFH's for a while, and reading it, it reminded me how fresh the BOFH was back in the mid-90's, in an era that can only be described as pre-NTK (I miss NTK, a void partly filled by The Reg and partly by B3ta). Back on-topic, yes, excellent edition, and it felt like the break brought out the best in you Simon.
@ the "lets see you write your own..." types. Isn't something like that said to Simon Cowl by the tone deaf people he points out have no talent? Just because I couldn't do better doesn't make it any better. It doesn't take Davinci to know the drawing of a spider was crap.
@ "call yourself geeks". I understand it. I just don't get it. Its just not that funny.
...my work will barely spring for paper cookies, AND we have to draw them ourselves!
(thank goodness for friends with better employers - loved the prequals!)
Still, this episode - beautiful! Although it appears the subtleties may have been lost on some of the 'cattleprod in the groin' fans - you REALLY should go platinum for a few classic moments in that vein ;)
They'd probably be much better at it!
IT projects would still overrun their allocated time and funds, but there would be no leaks.
Why? Put it this way - the following day, the relevant paper's headline story would be a about a courier / senior civil servant being involved in a nasty and fatal RTA outside their (the paper's) front door...
Flames, as inevitably the evidence of financial impropriety wouldn't survive the impact...
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