back to article Vulture Central on total G20 terror lockdown

Readers concerned for the safety of El Reg operatives, who will this week selflessly risk life and limb by entering Central London during the G20 summit, should rest assured that measures have been taken to mitigate the threat posed to national security and world order by malodorous, dreadlocked crusties deploying packs of dogs …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    I for one welcome our soap-avoiding alternative lifestyle embracing brave protesting underdogs...

  2. EvilGav

    G8 Edinburgh

    We had much the same thing in Edinburgh during the G8 a couple of years back. The polcie were very good, they herded the annoying people into one street - however they forgot to inform the businesses on that street that thats what they would be doing - we were locked in from just before lunch to just after 4pm.

    Bloody starving, we all were.

    Although, on the plus side, we did get quite a lot of photos onto the BBC web-site, seeing as we could just lean out the window and take them.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Bloody pain!

    We've all been locked out of the computer room for the duration! Unless something catches fire only the security officer is allowed in! Pain the bum to do any hardware admin.

    As for dressing down, balls to 'em! I only own about heavy metal t-shirts, two pairs of shorts and 5 pairs of DMs, so I cannot dress down else I will get a dressing down!

  4. Steven Raith
    Thumb Up

    I only care about the wellbeing of...

    ...our lovely resident Moderatrix.

    Hallo Ms Bee :-)

    We have similar things here - have been advised to come in wearing casual clothing, as opposed to suits.

    So no change required for me, he says, picking up his leather jacket and putting his zippo into the pocket of his faded jeans....

    Steven R

  5. Steve Kay
    Thumb Up

    Liverpool Street calling

    Many of us are polishing up our cameras in anticipation of the numerous "citizen journalism" opportunities. Not much happens round these parts other than folk singing Rick Astley at the station, so I'll be nipping down the Bank to take a gander :)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    We've been ordered to ditch the regular work clothes and go undercover for the duration of the summit. I'm going to come to work dressed as a pirate.

  7. D. Hayes Blanchard
    Thumb Up


    I would like to see Register coverage (interviews, photos, playmobile) of the aforementioned "soap-avoiding alternative lifestyle embracing brave protesting underdogs." Having shared a flat with a know-nothing anti-capitalist anti-globalization anti-reason activist I know they can be quite entertaining.

  8. Adam Salisbury

    Mmmmm revolution!

    That'd be nice :-) All the hysterics being whipped up over this doesn't sound like a thin attempt to scare peaceful protesters away on the day does it?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    We (big bank, city) have been told to come in wearing civvies,however I'm going to put on my best double breasted pinstripe, carry a bottle of champagne, smoke a big fat cigar and thwack the protesters out of the way with a rolled up copy of the FT.

    That won't cause any problems.

  10. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Well..

    Do it, Fraser, and send us the pictures, if you can fish the card out of the crushed remains of your camera, with the crushed remains of your hand.

  11. Pavlovs well trained dog

    oh come now

    we all know the real reason you guys will be safe is that visually you lot are indistinguishable from the green crusties baying in the streets...

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Perish the thought...

    ...that the G20 gravy-train, err, leaders should have to actually engage with their electorate on anything more than a superficial level.

  13. Andy Blackburn
    Thumb Up

    Similar email distributed here..

    Am I actually working at Vulture Central? :

    Extra Security arrangements have been made for Swanky Office In Canary Wharf on Wednesday 1st and Thursday 2nd April. These include:

    Additional 24 hour security; extra Security presence in front of ground floor reception

    No entrance to building without ID

    All visitors to be verified against daily client log, before allowed entry to reception.

    Couriers will not be allowed to stop outside the building and will be vetted outside the building before being admitted to reception

    No parking, or waiting for couriers, or cabs, will be allowed directly outside reception

    Please postpone or reschedule any client meetings or visits from people outside the agency.

    Ho Hum... I'm more impressed with my alternative route to work, which involves boats :)

  14. Anonymous Coward

    Satisfying Secondment

    (Posting anonymously for obvious terror-avoiding reasons)

    As a fellow central London worker, I am glad that for this break in regular London life I'm currently away in Germany on business. Although the measures sound very similar to a security warning that I also received. Apparently though, since we share a building with various government departments, we are on a high risk list.

    Still awaiting details on a fallout shelter under the main building for such times of emergency and to be used as a smoking room otherwise (lung-cancer addicts unite!).

  15. Paul

    Door duty

    Put the Moderatrix on the door and that should stop any undesirables coming in.

  16. michael

    anti caplitests

    maby they should get sir fred there he has done more to destroy capitalisms than any amount of hippies

  17. Dave


    "Men with beards will not be admitted into the building"

    So I take it that the Bearded-Ladies (and children) are still allowed in?

  18. Anonymous Coward


    What about women with beards? Will they be refused admission too?

    (Of course, I'm not referring to Sarah, who I understand is a little overtired from all the catwalk modelling she's been doing recently).

  19. Francois
    Thumb Down

    Bet the numbers?

    I bet for more cops than protesters... It sounds all a bit too much like fear-mongering to discourage the non-hardcore protesters to show up.

  20. Anonymous Coward

    Revolution is my name.

    I'm pretty sure this is going to suck, all this hype and I bet nothing happens. The only way this will ever be the start of anything remotely interesting is if you can get Rage Against the Machine to play for McKinnon during the G20 protest.

    I'm pretty sure that'll be the only catalyst we need to get us going on a full scale revolution. Handily we can get Obama to be our new PM till we find a better set of clowns to look after us.

  21. Richard

    @ Door duty

    It doesn't work on here, so why do you think she'd have any affect in the doorway

  22. Anonymous Coward

    Seconded Fraser

    I particularly liked the advice to dress down, specifically - "eg loafers and chinos". I don't think the soap-dodgers will see through that disguise at all.

    Frankly I'm with Fraser - I think a nice pin-stripe complete with bowler hat and cane will work as a double bluff, sort of reverse psychology. You could almost pretend to be a protester. However chances are they'll be too busy kicking in the windows of various capitalist (boo-hiss) ventures such as Maccy-Dee's or BuckStar.

    I have to say, for anti-establishment, anarchistic nuts, they seem very organised - so far I know where they'll be, what time and what they'll be doing...

    AC cos technically I'm a banker. Or at the very least employed by a "high target" bank.

    The pin-stripe one please...

  23. Steven Raith
    Thumb Up


    I'm afraid that would only encourage me, and I'm quite undesirable.

    So the ladies tell me. Is that a compliment.

    Incidentally, I just saw a colleague dressed to the nines in a sharp, dark suit. I suggested he might be crusty-baiting, and he consistently denied it.

    Although the thought of getting the RBS logo monogrammed on the breast and taking a run down through the city gave us a snigger.

    Fun and games...

    Steven R

  24. Steve


    Does this mean I can grab a few mates around with a few beers like we used to when the Mayday riots happened?

    Great viewing on Sky and when the sky cam bloke wa getting beat up you could switch to teh BBC filming the skycam guy being beat. and vice versa...

    All this was before all this digital TV multiangle rubbish.

    All we need is Delboy in his car to turn up wack the horn and seperate the protestors from the police.!

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No beards?

    Damn - I regret shaving mine off a few days back...

    Similar bans here - office in Canary Wharf.

  26. Yorkshirepudding
    Black Helicopters

    Riot Control

    why not kill two birds at once? if the riot vans have water jets fill them with soap, so you can knock them around and give them a good wash at the same time

    or maybe the government will take this opportunity to deploy its hover deathbots?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm going to...

    ... get my chauffeur to drop me in the middle of the crowd wearing one of my many Armani suits and carrying cigars rolled from the "please dont repossess my house" letters I get every day, carrying a BoomBox on my shoulder blasting out Rick Astley's Greatest Hits. How long do you think I'll last?

  28. Anonymous Coward

    Men with beards will not be admitted into the building until further notice,

    Well that's FoSS f**ked then

  29. adam


    am i missing something ?

    so, you normally wear a suit to work... but you now can wear casual clothes

    how that going to increase security ???

  30. Professor Quatermass

    Photographing the Saturday protest in my suit and black raincoat ...

    Although my work at the Rocket Group keeps me busy, I spend my off hours defending the planet from wicked aliens and engaging in some amateur photography.

    On Saturday, I decided to wander down to Somerset House and the Embankment and take some pictures. Of course, I worse my standard outfit - dark trousers, black jacket, white dress shirt and a black raincoat. I also brought my Pentax 645.

    Well, I realised when I arrived that I looked for all the world like a spy or a representative of one of the world's security services. The protesters gave me odd looks, the police gave me some very odd looks (no, I don't know you), but I did manage some dramatic pictures.

    Methinks I enjoyed photographing the photographers most ... and they were most disturbed by my doing so.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I am most concerned about 'terrorism powers' being used to arrest those armed with 'political views' and fireworks, rather than terrorists, with extreme religious views, and actual weapons, how much longer before it's 'political surfing habits' and a box of matches?

  32. Anonymous Coward


    Which one is man with beard?

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I smell a Playmobil reconstruction in the offing!

  34. Anonymous Coward

    Am I.....

    the only one looking forward to handing out a good hiding and looting, what is this world coming to.

  35. Anonymous Coward


    Hear, hear! Love it when the anti-cap boys come out to play, oh the days of throwing photocopied money at them brings a tear to one's eye.

    This year we have been barred completely from coming in as there is too much potential to provide a direct education for the free-loading masses on the day, shame really...

  36. adfasdf

    Cops expecting violence?

    Of course the cops are are expecting rough and tumble... they will be the ones starting it...

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In the event that El Reg offices are indeed locked down

    can we be assured that the revolution will be Playmobilised?

  38. Anonymous Coward

    Dress down?

    No way! I'll be wearing my suit with pride - plus it will mean I won't get attacked by the police mistaking me for a potential rioter. :o)

  39. John Imrie

    Cost to the economy

    When ever there is a large strike the Government rolls out statistics showing how much the strike has affected the economy.

    Could El Reg with its mighty army of Freedom of Information Requesters find out how much hosting this one day shindig has cost.

  40. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Dress down?

    Sorry, did you say you'll be wearing your suit with pride, or with the kind of oafish hubris and lack of forward-thinking that got us into the kind of mess the bankers have got us all into? Eh? Eh?

  41. Nick


    Surely to distract the trouble makers from trouble making, why don't they just Tw@dangle Sir Fred from a crane about 15ft above the baying crowd?

  42. Martin Lyne

    You are free

    Free to do as you are bloody well told, now move along.

    We all saw what happened in the US when people were allowed to exhibit civil disobedience. THINGS CHANGED.

    This is unacceptable. How will we get the trucks filled with money to the Bankers' houses with all these tax-payers in the road?

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Dress down

    So with the advice being to dress in Jeans & Jumpers, you journos will actually be a bit smarter than usual then?

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    No bigger free loaders than the banks, it's all done with taxpayers money now.

    About time someone gave them a direct education...

  45. A J Stiles


    A friend of mine had an idea. For dispersing crowds of vegan protestors, you don't want water cannons ..... you want gravy cannons!

    Mine's the one with the CFC-free Salbutamol inhaler in the pocket -- what's your excuse?

  46. Dominic Bradbury


    I'm all for the Crusties, they provide wonderful traction for ones 4x4 ...

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    People should not fear their Government...

    sadly my GuyFawkes/VforVendetta mask has yet to arrive in the post, so we'll have to save the fireworks for next time

  48. Anonymous Coward

    @ SB Re: Dress down?

    oafish hubris? No, I'm wearing it in defiance of the Media terror hype.

    !! I AM NOT AFRAID !!

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    More practice needed?

    It just concerns me that our honourable police force will be out of practice for this sort of thing.

    See, when Maggie was in charge they all knew how to clobber protestors hard and charge them down with horses.

    And tactically they appear to have got it all wrong too. The Met unleashing a riot on its own ground?

    Oh, no,no,no Maggie would never have had that. One must ferry the police around the country, so that they never have to shit on their own doorstep where the community might recognise them.

  50. Steve Evans


    No beards?

    So no Linux articles this week then?

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