back to article EU launches pirate talking shop

This week sees the second European Union conference on piracy and counterfeit goods. Internal market and services commissioner Charlie McCreevy, members of the European Parliament, and industry representatives are attending the European Observatory on Counterfeiting and Piracy with the aim of improving cross-border cooperation …


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  1. Geoff Mackenzie


    I misread the headline. Shiver me timbers.

  2. Anonymous Coward

    Reality check

    You can't stop piracy so why bother piracy protecting software. It often means that those who have a legitimate copy have an inferior product due to rootkits and CD checks. As for downloading music / movies, it won't stop until there are some sensible legal mediums put in place. Getting the different movie production companies and record companies to agree to the same structure is like asking a bunch of monkey's to write shakespeare.

    Oh well, guess I'll continue to enjoy the illeagal methods for free.

  3. Wortel


    In a shop rather close to home, fake legos are being sold. Bit late to the meeting are we gentlemen?

  4. Anonymous Coward

    What about the pirates the goverment allows

    All the talk is about people pirating TV, film and music over the web. The person who downloads a few tracks and is caught is then hit with huge fines, the force of the legal system comes down on there heads.

    Yet BT, and Phorm can pirate to there hearts content, forge cookies, copy website content, brag about how the legal adive they have says it is legal, while the people who know say it is not.

    Maybe it is time the EU started at the top, force the big companies to set an example.

    If and when I ever get caught I will be using the BT defence:-

    "the material is on the web so I have implied concent of the copyright holder to make a copy"

    I would call emma from BT as a defence witness.

    If Piracy is bad, Commercial piracy for personal gain is just evel

  5. Nick
    Paris Hilton

    This year we are delivering concrete solutions... monitoring everybody closely, and woe betide them if they download any Paris Hilton material illegally.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    McCreevy said: "Last year we met to discuss measures needed for the fight against fake goods. This year we are delivering concrete solutions. I am confident that the Observatory, alongside other initiatives we have launched, will significantly help us to step up the fight against intellectual property theft".

    Theft? Surely murder?

    "will significantly help us to step up the fight against intellectual property MURDER"

    Or how about stabbing with blunt knife in the eye:

    "will significantly help us to step up the fight against intellectual property BLUNT KNIFE STABBING'S INTO PEOPLES EYES, OH OH MY EYE, THE PAIN, OH IT'S ALL OOZING OUT"

    There, fixed your misleading rhetoric for you!

    Counterfeit goods is 0.06% of imports, so if your concrete solution costs more than 0.06% of EU trade, or you slap business with 0.06% of overhead, then you are making the EU less competitive. For example the random spot checks on businesses easily costs them more than 0.06%. So when you exaggerate a problem, then produce some complex bureaucratic solution to the exaggerated problem, you're making the EU less able to compete in the world and should STFU you idiot. Look at the damage you almost did to the European software industry with your EU Software patent nonsense!

  7. Richard Porter

    Shiver me timbers!

    Surely if it's "launched" it should be a talking ship, not a talking shop?

  8. Anonymous Coward

    Yeah right

    No doubt another one-sided conference of our Glorious Owners, no doubt with the public excluded, let alone have our side of the argument heard or represented. Keep it coming, fuckers. There are many millions of us. There's only a few of you. You may be a mighty river, but we are the ocean into which all your waters fall and become salt...

  9. EvilJason


    I cant not believe a proper organization would put into print the word PIRACY when meaning copyright infringement....THER TWO SEPORATE THINGS....

    Piracy has been and still is the name for the crime of committing robbery, or criminal violence committed on water.

    it is not and i repeat NOT anything to do with the Internet or copyright infringement this conference could be sued for misrepresentation and anything that comes from it can be deemed invalid as they have specified the wrong crime.

    This also works in any court of law if the other side ever brings up the word pirate or piracy get the case thrown out there and then as they have brought the wrong thing up in court.

    And with the word piracy been brought up more and more into the social conscious this will happen in a few court cases lets hope the defendants lawyers are bright enough to spot it.


    -Joke Alert as this whole thing is a bloody joke

  10. Fluffykins Silver badge

    A good first stop might be

    Phorm and BT - stop the buggers pilfering my IP for profit, thank you very much.

    Ha ha rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

    Roger the cabin boy?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Intellectual Property Theft?

    Someone is stealing their IP? That sounds painful, how do they extract it from their heads???

    Theft involves taking something such that it deprives someone else of it. Really, I'm still intrigued to know what method these amazing IP theifs are using to extract IP from people and companies so that they don't have it anymore - not even in their memories.

    Can you even prove somoene committed IP theft? If they've stolen your IP so that you don't have it anymore, how do you prove it ever belonged to you?

    I think this is a case of people getting their terms confused again and using words like "theft" to try and add impact to their cause. They mean infringement, whether it's trademark infringement, copyright infringement or patent infringement.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Charlie McCreevy?

    Why wasn't he locked up after his attempt to legalise software patents in the EU?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ AC 10:11

    "Theft involves taking something such that it deprives someone else of it" -- in fact, it's more than that. The important words are "permanently deprive".

    If you take another person's property in good faith that they intended to destroy or abandon it, then you can claim that you only intended to *temporarily* deprive them of it (since after a short while they would no longer have it anyway).

  14. Michael

    Some people want their material "pirated"

    If Charlie is REALLY honest about this, He should ban photocopiers ...full stop, and make it a crime to own pvr's, vhs cassette recorders, cameras ,create a government body funded by the holders of all IP , and conduct house to house searches for any "pirated" material , obtained illegally at car boot sales.... and THEN run for re-election.

    I was reading in the business section of the telegraph about how the french "three strikes" model is the best , and the uk should adopt it.. Fuck off ... if the groups at the top url here want to, what's to stop them setting up an international packet radio darknet, with bbs dial in , if they get cut off.


    Most porn is downloaded by us geeks anyway.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How many more times

    Piracy has two meanings - The thing that is done from a boat and the thing that is done to copyright material. If you don't belive me, look it up, the OED is very clear on the definition.

    @AC 1126 - Just try that argument in court, see how far you get...

  16. Anonymous Coward

    Who's captaining the ship?

    I think it might me Master Bates!

    All these bodies are just a "wunch"• of bankers anyway.

    *Do not use this collective noun when talking about creators of global recession without the express permission of its creator (that means me). It has a US patent pending!!

  17. TeeCee Gold badge

    Presumably, in this case.

    That's: "Arrr, me hearties", delivered in a stilted and unconvincing manner with a heavy French accent.

    Piracy just ain't what it used to be.

  18. EvilJason


    They write it into law that piracy can be defined as copyright infringement it will still be classed as crime on water only.

    And as it is usually classed as an international crime it will have to be amended internationally which it so far has not so legally you can not class copyright infringement as piracy.

    The Oxford English Dictionary does not make the laws of the land what they where probably saying is that in society piracy means two things now but legally it is still one crime only and as such should not be officially used in any form to mean copyright infringement.

  19. Anonymous Coward

    @ Fraser

    Never got as far as a court of law. Charges got dropped or evidence went missing every time. Remember, it only takes 2 people to think you did nothing wrong and that creates a legal precedent.

  20. Stevie

    Do Delegates Dream of Electric Hookers?

    Wouldn't it be splendid if, after a few days, the delegates found they'd been attending a fake conference organised by counterfeiters?

    PKD, we need you now!

  21. P. Lee

    Never mind the music, someone's stealing my vote!

    > with the aim of improving cross-border cooperation on fake goods and illegal downloading of music and software.

    Erm, why do we need *cross-border* cooperation for action on downloading stuff? Is there a problem with it being spirited across borders concealed in laptops in the dead of the night? If you can identify the infringing item (which is presumably what they mean) does it get smuggled out before the Customs men can get there?

    Or maybe its a lobby group trying to push through legislation at the EU level in order to bypass national governments...

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