back to article BOFH: Defiling the profile

"What do you know about social networking?" the Boss murmurs quietly one morning, as I'm putting the finishing touches on my espresso. "You mean social networking as in 'I and a group of mates would like to be able to publish our outrageous drinking activities'? Or 'The wife and I have recently separated and I'm looking to …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton



  2. Codge

    Friday already?

    It's been a few weeks, but worth the wait!

    Cheers Simon!

  3. Geeks and Lies

    Ahhh the slander.....

    :-) carry on

  4. Anonymous Coward


    Though I was thinking of blackmail to get some money in before moving to the public humiliation...

    Still - Fine work!

  5. Mike Bronze badge


    what can i say? great as usual!

  6. Martin Bezemer
    Thumb Up


    The BOFH *and* the PF(not-so-anymore)Y working in unison to bring the downfall of not one but two bosses at the same time.


    Thanks Simon, I'll send over the invoice for a new kibo shortly.

  7. Alex Osmond

    Abso f**king lootly brilliant

    Says it all

  8. Chris
    Thumb Down


    After all our nagging there is another episode quicker than a month but am i the only one thinking its not THAT funny?

    Watching Martin Johnson in Ireland - England in the past 6nations now THAT was funny... The guy is a standup comedian!

  9. Rich Harding
    Thumb Up


    Best for a while :)

  10. Dan


    Best bofh for a while...

  11. storng.bare.durid
    Thumb Up


    This installment of BOFH is teh win. Best I've seen in a while. Good work, keep it up.

  12. Danny
    Thumb Up

    a return to form

    though i definitely enjoyed most of last year's episodes, this year is turning out even better. if this is a sample of what we're going to get this year, then it'll be a fantastic year for sure.

    go Simon!

  13. Sir Runcible Spoon

    A true return to form

    first one to actually make me laugh out loud for months..much needed today,thanks Simon :D

  14. The Dorset Rambler
    Thumb Up


    Nice work Simon.

    All sorts of mind pictures created by "leek fetish"......

  15. daniel
    Thumb Up

    Keyboard, coffee etc.

    Very well written, worth the wait, but any chance of more BOFH?

  16. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: hmmmm

    The management would like to reassure you that your nagging is almost never taken into consideration when editorial decisions are being made.

  17. Nathanael Bastone
    Thumb Up

    First class!

    Brilliant stuff from the BOFH. Obviously missing a good "fatal user error" although maybe one will result when the Director finds out...

    Well done, another solid and amusing BOFH tale :)

  18. kenzie


    Love for Simon =)

  19. Nick


    That was laugh out loud funny - as in it made me actually laugh out loud, not just the "mildly amusing" which people usually mean by "laugh out loud funny".


    and keep it up!

  20. Rene Schickbauer
    Thumb Up

    Smooth :-)

    BOFH goes Web2.0. Guess that's the modern version of installing a hacked login script into user accounts - except getting creative with Facebook is (still) legal ;-)

    But i have to admit, it doesn't beat stories like getting the user to put his pot plant ontop of his computer, connect to to the neon lights and water it real good.

    Or have to user move the emergency exit signs away from the door and then turn off the lights and sound the fire alarm.

  21. L. W.
    Paris Hilton

    Good one!

    Nothing like a little cyber-sabotage to ones reputation!!

    Not to mention TWO BOFH's in a month... things are indeed looking better!

    Paris, because she knows all about cyber-reputations!

  22. jan
    Gates Horns

    well well

    social network my rear, as well as the joy of seeing the boss unemployed or even better throughly humiliated

  23. mark buggy
    Thumb Up

    it's been a bloody long month

    and I needed that. A vintage episode.

  24. Jazzle
    Jobs Horns

    Excellent Work

    Thanks Simon, excellent work yet again, cant wait to see more BOFH Carnage!!!

    Now where is my bag of lime, spade and roll of old carpet, new boss and all.

  25. Juillen

    Deliciously underhanded...

    And truly elegant! Fantastic episode!

    I think Rule #1 is don't drink coffee while reading this year's BOFH episodes.

    Being an ordinary bloke from Bristol, makes me wonder if the PFY wasn't taking over established profiles too.. Would explain the tweaks on my FB profile!

    Mine's the one with the PFY's little black book in the pocket.

  26. Jon Brindley

    I'm glad

    .. that it's not just me that's fallen for those devious scoundrels on facebook

  27. Jason
    Thumb Up


    Thank you simon, excellent!

  28. b



  29. Anonymous Coward

    Given the scenario of this month's BOFH....

    ... are all the above comments from your different persona, Simon ?

  30. Andrew Parsons


    Double OY!

    You should have chosen Swindon...

  31. Newsman

    2 in one month!

    OMG! Two episodes in less than 4 weeks? What's the world coming to??? I'm happy to see another episode... and the PHB (to steal a term from Dilbert) is getting his! Seems like the BOFH and the PFY Ride Again! Just like old times. Now, here's hoping for another episode in less than a month!

  32. Charlie van Becelaere


    plotted, scripted, and paced.

    While my keyboard remains coffee-free, I did chuckle quite audibly.

    Thanks, Simon, for an elegant romp.

  33. Sir Runcible Spoon

    re:Given the scenario

    I'm Simon and so's my wife, plus my brother-in law is the ex-mayor of god!

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thanks for the How-To Guide

    Just this week, our company president has become entranced by Web 2.0 and "social networking." Imagine my pleasure at finding your helpful tips this morning. I'm eagerly awaiting your user guide re Twitter.

  35. John

    Nice one

    It's nice to see the boss doesn't have to die every time. Loved it. Humiliation is SOOOO much better than Quicklime and a tape safe.

  36. Rosuav


    Nick said: That was laugh out loud funny - as in it made me actually laugh out loud, not just the "mildly amusing" which people usually mean by "laugh out loud funny".

    Nick, your comment was "cackle out loud funny". As in, I read your comment, and I really did cackle. I don't know what anyone who has used that in any other context, and there's only a thousand Google results for "cackle out loud" (quoted), but whatever they mean, I probably didn't mean it.

  37. jubtastic1


    Loved that one, grinning ear to ear

  38. Matthew
    Paris Hilton

    Virtually sure

    There are only three real people on Facebook, and I'm not one of them.

    Neither is Paris.

  39. Chris

    limey lingo

    What's a slapper?

  40. Anonymous Coward

    Good for you! Shoot for the impossible!

    I should know better than to be eating or drinking anything during BOFH. Dammit, man!

  41. Anonymous Coward

    I knew it

    I fooking knew that the BOFH and the PFY would not only be able to game the web 2.0 crowd to a masterful degree, but arrange the downfall of at least one manager in the process. Absolutely brilliant Simon thank you for making my Friday.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    "After all our nagging there is another episode quicker than a month but am i the only one thinking its not THAT funny?"


  43. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @ Limey Lingo

    According to my Anglo - American Dictionary:

    Slapper (n): Similar to "Trailer Trash". One with tooooooo much make-up. As in slaps it on with a trowel.

  44. Shane Orahilly

    @ Sarah

    "The management would like to reassure you that your nagging is almost never taken into consideration when editorial decisions are being made. "

    Now you've done it. By saying "almost", you've given the enemy the one thing you never should - Hope.

    Report to the computer room for reprogamming, the cattleprod is almost charged.

  45. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    "It's all about bait..."

    "...He'll meet someone as Candice or Lord Peter and use her/him to introduce all the other personalities, finally organising a date as Jerry."

    This should be taught in schools, you know. What better way to warn naive youths of the dangers of the internet than to introduce them to the PFY?

  46. Toastan Buttar

    Slapper ?

  47. Scott Gower
    Black Helicopters


    I'm no "limey" but I'll give it a shot here. Use the syntax. Clearly, a "slapper"is a woman with a "morally-casual attitude" (I love that phrase) and quite low standards when it comes to male companionship. You know...the woman who thinks "acting ladylike" is just too much bother. Often seen in minimalist attire in and around nightspots.

  48. Celtic Ferret
    Thumb Up

    Gaming the web 2.0 crowd...

    This should be taught in schools...

    Speaking of that...

    RT@Ofsted: "Primary schools to teach Twitter and Wikipedia"

  49. Gilbert Wham

    This sounds... a horribly plausible technique. Please tell me it's made up?

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    thank you thank thank you

    its been a hard stretch lately.

    Simon, thanks for the first good laugh in 2 weeks

  51. raving angry loony

    Sniff sniff

    Ah, the evisceration of management. I love the screams of anguish that I imagine when the job's done. Nothing is too evil to have happen to management, and the BOFH is just the guy to do it to them for me. Yay.

  52. Sceptical Bastard

    @ Simon, @'limey'

    Damn you, Mr Travaglia - a good installment but you've given away all my secrets! If everyone gets in on the muti-personna lark, how are we early adopters going to get enough gals to flit from Travelodge to Travelodge, from one sad deluded divorcee to another?

    As to 'slapper', think plumper and jollier than 'slut' or 'trailer-trash' and probably aged 40+ - the word is usually preceded by 'old' (for instance: "What does Prince Charles see in that old slapper?")

    BTW, a 'Welsh slapper' is usually a sheep.

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Hes back

    It looks like someone let Simon out of the tape safe.

  54. BossHog
    Thumb Up

    Heh heh heh!

    Terrific! Had me chuckling gleefully! Worryingly workable too!

  55. SJ Coombs
    Dead Vulture

    Not funny

    Not even a little bit. But then I'm Bristolian with a Welsh grandfather so you obviously don't expect me to find it funny. After all, according to you I'm a loser with a leak fetish. Simon Travaglia: is that some sort of wop name or are we only allowed to insult Bristolians and the Welsh?

  56. Psmiffy
    Thumb Up

    Jolly good

    that is all

  57. Cheeky Chappie

    Keep 'em coming - pleeeeze!

    This one REALLY had me chuckling. Maybe a follow up when the Boss and IT director meet?

  58. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Not funny

    Leak fetishes are something else entirely, SJ. And meeting perceived xenophobic slurs (how? where?) with similar is... well, that's something only a dago would do, isn't it?

  59. Sir Runcible Spoon

    @comment about slappers

    If a slapper wants to be lady-like, she'll pull her knickers back on afterwards.

    euch. I've managed to gross myself out, my coats the one with the....( more!!!)

  60. wsm


    all of the benefits of social networking explained at once.

  61. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who knows

    perhaps they will be very happy together.

  62. Jan Buys


    no further comments.

  63. Anonymous Coward

    All systems are GO

    ... for the latest installment of the antics of the BOFH and the PFY.

    Counting the minutes...

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