Apple sizes iPhone for dog's nose

Apple has filed a patent application for a set of techniques to enhance security of iPhones and laptops using biometric sensing and other technologies. Some of the identification methods described in the filing would automatically sense your unique personal attributes without you needing to perform a separate device-unlocking …

[Allan Rutland]

Sheesh...

if it wasn't bad enough the gov. wanting to have our DNA on record, now Apple wants it! Whats next? Google deciding to match adverts to our DNA? *shudder*

[Anonymous Coward]

Odor fun

'...sensing "features of a user's ear canal, an odor associated with the user,'

Oh great. So now if one morning you forget to put on your deodorant, not only will you not have any *real* people to talk with, but you also won't be able to use your iPhone either ;)

[DZ-Jay]

Re: Odor fun

Theoretically, if you forget to put on your deodorant, your iPhone will know you're you with even more conviction, for your personal odor will be stronger, no?

-dZ.

[Michael Habel]

So what happens when the "Owner" suddenly dies then??

So what happens when someone like say the Head of Household suddenly dies, and has the all the "Important Documents" stored on one of these things, I guess you could make Latex fingerprint impressions, but who'd have the thought ahead of time?

Surely a simple PW carefully stored up somewhere (where it could be found by your spouse), like a Lockbox would be enough...

Headstone, cause you can't take your Lappy w/you when you go...

[Martin]

knuckle print

"...the knuckle-print"... I like that. Gives a new meaning to the phrase "Punch in your password".

Or perhaps it's designed for the famed knuckle-greeting that rappers engage in—"Word".

[James O'Brien]

For all these ideas on Security out there

What I want to see is the <Insert genital here> scanner. So when im not aroused I log in as myself and when I am I log in as someone else :)

/ok ok I know trying to make a joke when hung over is bad

[Miguel]

Show the other images

...and you can see that a jailbroken iphone was used to take the illustrations from:

http://www.engadget.com/2009/03/28/apple-uses-a-jailbroken-iphone-in-patent-application/

Tut tut

[Anonymous Coward]

Isn't this ...

... a good demonstration of what is wrong with the patent system and the way it is abused?

This isn't a registration to protect an invention, it's just using financial and legal muscle to try to suppress competition.

Still, it's an application to the USPTO, so I'm surprised they bothered to go into such detail, surely just a patent application for "Electronic Authentication Systems", claiming "To identify a user of a device" would have been sufficient for that bunch of muppets.

[Jeff]

Killing the second hand market?

They have started on this path by marketing it as a fashion accessory. Nobody wants the old model, it shows you just aren't cool.

Now they want to tie the unit to one single person.

What's the word I'm looking for? Evil genius comes close, but more evil, less genius...

[Franklin]

Of course, it still doesn't solve...

...the most basic problems with biometric security: Everyone knows what your password is, and you can't change it.

[J]

Oh, my...

As I started reading, a joke about "iPod reading your DNA" started forming into my mind...

...only to horribly die as I read the rest.