Worm burrows into Church of England email system

The Bishop of Manchester has been unable to send or receive email messages for ten days following a computer virus infection. The Rt Rev Nigel McCulloch's PC was hit by malware on March 3. Wider malware-linked problems with the diocese's email systems mean that a sizeable chunk of the 6,000 messages the bishop dispatched over …

[Fluffykins]

e-pistles!

Dear God

Can I please have a new keyboard and a fresh cup of coffee.

Love

Fluffykins.

[Anonymous Coward]

some title should come here

We've certainly got a couple of Rt ones there.

[Mark]

E-pistles

Ha!

[Paul]

Well...

...I thought Jesus was their firewall?

Maybe they should pray their messages really hard and hope God delivers them. He's meant to be everywhere, but not like a series of tubes.

[Anonymous Coward]

No email

Act of God

[Jason Togneri]

Um...

...and this matters why?

[Michael Smith]

Thats not much spam

"The diocese receives about a million spam messages a year"

Don't we all?

"one virus got through"

What, only one?

In my experience PC infections are often the result of browsing pornography on windows. I suggest the Church of England consider using Ubuntu in the future.

[Edward Miles]

Heh.

Jesus saves - But Satan makes backups :)

[Sean Groarke]

Damn good thrashing

"...either been deleted during sending or otherwise thrashed,..."

Bishop sends thrashing email. Mmmkay.

[NB]

well

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

[Michael]

The catholic church uses .....

BSD.;-)

[Long Fei]

God will SMITE them!

The bishop will have the last laugh, knowing these sinners will reside in hell for their spams. Maybe he could make a new sin?

Thou shalt not send viruses or spam or porn. Well, maybe the porn's okay as long as it's choirboy stuff...

[Dave]

So what got lost?

Imagine if God had sent him a message and it failed to get through.

Father, Son and Holey Firewall...

[Paul]

@Michael

Does that mean BSD makes you touch kids? :D

[Anonymous Coward]

Diet of Worms?

Surely, the creepy-crawly contaminated clergyman need only go on a Diet of Worms, in order to deal with his problems of corruption!

Paris, because Martin Luther would nail her to a door too.

[Anonymous Coward]

See, Mark

"Where their worm dieth not..."

[Flugal]

Maybe...

Could it simply have been a dyslexic priest who accidentally searched for "hardcore dog material" perhaps?

I'll get me cassock...

[Anonymous Coward]

E-pistle

Marvelous!

That is all.

[Anonymous Coward]

Faith-based approach

So, when their computers get a virus, what do these bishops do?

a) Gather the congregation and pray that the computers will be divinely healed?

b) Call for an engineer?

HA! Science 1, Medieval superstitious bullshit 0 - yet again!

Even it's highest proponents don't really believe it right down in their heart of hearts.

[Peyton]

Had it coming...

After all, thou shalt not put thy antivirus, Nortons, to the test.

[Anonymous Coward]

So this is a case of a computer virus...

... stopping the spread of a mental virus.

At last, virii do something good for humanity!

[Alistair Wall]

@AC 15:19

c) Call the Microsoft helpdesk - Science 0, Medieval superstitious bullshit 1

[Moss Icely Spaceport]

All those messages NOT going out.....

.....and no one noticed for ages.

Sort of says it all really.

This medieval superstitious bullshit should have stayed back in the dark dim past.

[josh whelan]

Maybe...

All this talk of using antivius software, psssh.

Don't you know that abstinence from malware is the _only_ reliable policy?