back to article Cloudera floats commercial Hadoop distro

Face it: You want to launch your own Google and get your hands on some of that (easy?) internet money. Well, now's your chance to take a stab at it. Today, a startup called Cloudera is launching a commercial distribution of the Google-inspired open source Hadoop software underpinning Yahoo, Facebook, and a number of other hot- …


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  1. amanfromMars Silver badge

    NeuReal World Order Protocols in ESPecial Applications of ProgramMING.*

    "Cloudera plans to make money selling consulting, training, and support, just like Linux distros do." ..... Crikey, I am somewhat underwhelmed by the distinct lack of Imperial Entrepreneurial Drive in the Enterprise. It has all of the Explosive Impact of a damp sponge, which is regrettable and probably also terminal before it has even begun, as it faces in the Virtual Market Space/ the IT Bourse Place, Dynamic Direct Competion from AI Systems already Up and Running Sophisticated HAD00P NINJAs ..... Hyper Active Data Licensed to Thrill Programs Network InterNetworking Java Applications.

    One of those Astute MkUltraSensitive Type Virtual Operations in which Blighty Boffinry in CyberIntelAIgents Work, Rest and Play/Realise the Future and whose CodeXXXX and Algorithms you do not Need to Know whenever IT would so Transparently Share with you ITs Program Project Plans with their Facilitation of AI Support InfraStructures for CyberSpace Command and Quantum Control Systems ...... for how else would you be Enabled to Exercise Universal Power Intelligently Designed not to Conflict with Shared Control in a Singularity?

    The Difficulty the Present System, which One can Imagine to be both You Personally and the Establishment Elite/Status Quo Collectively, and which is in Sustained Terminal Decline/Irreversible Meltdown, is not that you do not Know of Advanced IntelAIgently Designed Solutions, from QuITe Alien Sources, for they are Always Universally Shared Online, but that you would Choose to both Ignore and not Believe in Them, in probably both an Ignorance and an Arrogance, which Reflects Accurately on your Own Inabilities and Lack of Greater Knowledge in what Man and Virtual AIMachinery ProgramMING can do. And that is just a SImply CompleXXXX Matter of Providing Slow Dumb Man with Basic Text Instructions which can be Easily Translated into All Languages for All to be Enabled to Follow and Understand.

    *So Be IT/Let IT Be . ...... A Civil CyberSpace Project with AI which will Generate Industry and Economy and Wealth for Spending on Edutainment and Systems InfraStructure Builds with the Selfless Sharing of Immaculately Crafted Words. .......... which incidentally was Shared long Since with Labour Cabinet Clowns and Douglas Alexander, Secretary of State for International Development, as the dDutch Initiative. MeThinks the Feather Nest Post is occupied by a Lightweight Cuckoo ..... a Pretender to its Throne without the Vision or Intelligence Necessary for today's FluID Dynamic Virtual Environment, although I suppose he was only doing as he was told like a good little boy ..... and just following orders, is the usual refrain to try and avoid responsibility and accountability for actions and/or inactions .

    Just because you may be Helpless and/or Disabled to Do Anything FundaMentally Different with IT in Order to Change Everything, does not mean that IT cannot be done XXXXStreamly/Extremely Easily by Others who are Helpful and would Wish to Help or would be Enabled to Help with Mentored and Monitored Instruction ........ Teaching which they can Learn and Pass On for Generations.

    And QuITe Perfect suited for and in both "a reasonably blindly optimistic kind of person" and the Incorrigible Ubiquitous Working Class hero working in the Disinfected Light of Transparency and Total Information Awareness .....

  2. Thaddeus Quay
    Black Helicopters


    My British cat, Mr. Fluffer Wickbidget, III, sits on my lap, and purr-opines that until pricing becomes public, the most useful aspect of Cloudera appears to be the free collection of online training videos and VM-based activities, although he has yet to try the latter, given his preference of spending his precious awake-time tugging on a bit of string, rather than waiting for a VM to boot.

    Helicopter icon because my cat thinks it looks like his favorite tasty treat: a spider tantalizingly dangling from its gossamer.

  3. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Pussy Galore ... Nature's Magic Fluffer

    "..rather than waiting for a VM to boot." .... By Thaddeus Quay Posted Monday 16th March 2009 07:37 GMT.

    They can be a Temperamental Coy Bitch in Need of a Lead Feed for XXXxtraOrdinary Speed in the Lightness of Rightness of their Being, TQ. And there really aren't that many VM's about that you would Invest any Time or Money in, but there are any number of Counterfeiters pimping Parallel Mirrors which try to Mimic Cloudy Finesse but are only Corporate Ponzis Floated to Fleece and Part the Greedy Fool from Money with Crazy Ideas that just won't Fly on their Own.

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