"I've been thinking," the Boss says, wandering into Mission Control feigning nonchalance. "Surely with the number of movements in the building at the moment and the increasing copper price and all, we should invest in some data cable. Keep a stock of it on site. Ten boxes or so, what do you think?" "Excellent idea!" the PFY …
LOVE IT!!! Thanks for brightening my friday up!!!!!
Come on Simon one episode a month is WAAAAAAY TOO LITTLE!!! You got us hooked now keep delivering man or we the Reg Readers will have to conspire and replay out fav episodes... with your reg liason as the boss...
Now we're cooking with Pro Gaz. :-) ........ ""I have gift vouchers for several major curry houses, an open tab at a number of large licensed establishments and a morally casual attitude," she responds." ....... for First Class Travel, Satisfaction Guaranteed.
Who doesn't respond XXXXStreamly Well to Honey Perfectly Phormed and Delivered?
Nice One, Simon........ that brought Flashback and more than a just a few Most Pleasant Memories Oft Repeated in the Cause of Promoting Excellence and Trust in Bi/Multilateral International Relations/Covering Operations to Cloud Clandestine HyperRadioProActivity...... Astute Plays. :-)
"I have gift vouchers for several major curry houses, an open tab at a number of large licensed establishments and a morally casual attitude,"
In a previous life, I worked with a number of people that had had offers of a similar nature. But nothing ever happened to me like that.
Now I'm in a completely different job and it still never happens - the most I get offered is the crappy 128 Mb usb keyrings that they tried to hand out at vendor shows 5 years ago of which they still have a couple boxes left. (and they only offer me the one, the tightwads)
Either that, or I get sent a box of mints which went passed their best before date 2 years ago (I'm looking at you Microsoft!)
Still a good BOFH - keep em coming
Not only are we reduced to 1 episode per month now, but El Reg has obviously signed up someone to 'ghost write' the column.
While all 3 (yes count them, 3) episodes this year have been mildly humourous they certainly don't create the same rib-aching effect as episodes in previous years.
As for all those that have commented positively - CAN YOU ACTUALLY READ? Did your MUMMY have to write your comment for you? Have you compared these latest watered-down, inneffectual musings with the brilliant, thought provoking, side-splitting, keyboard-ruining, monitor-staining episodes of previous years or are you just mindless sycophants?
Enough is enough. If Simon isn't available to write this column then just say so and kill it, rather than allow his reputation to continue being tarnished by these pathetic substitutes.
Lets see if El Reg has the guts to allow this comment through - my last two didn't make it, probably due to equally disparaging remarks.
P.S. If Simon really did write this column then I will expect no less than a visit by two or more people armed with cattle-prods, er, sorry, circuit testers.
Oh, goodie! I check every Friday, of course, and was delighted today to find a new episode. Simon, keep up the good work. I won't complain about the reduced frequency of late because when you do at last produce a new BOFH it is a special treat.
<undeserved cynicism> Just please don't trade that special treatitude for story quality! </undeserved cynicism>
Hmm. Where to start with this?
Simon is still as ever the author of BOFH. He isn't available to contribute weekly at present.
I rejected one comment of yours on the last BOFH for reasons of twattiness (Mine? Yours? You decide!). I haven't seen another by your fair hand - it may still be in the queue. I'm accepting this so that I and others can respond to it in all its angry-young-man glory.
Or, if you prefer:
We're forcing the intern to write the columns now as a cost-cutting exercise. Since he is the trembly, pant-wetty sort, it takes him several weeks to do it because his liddle hands are shaking too much to hit the right keys. Sometimes I have to stand over him myself and intermittently thwack him over the head with a steel ruler.
But I didn't let your comments through because I was frightened at the widespread subversion and mayhem they could ignite. The truth is that I often quake at comments and reject them out of *sheer blind terror* of the consequences of publication.
There you go. If you want to follow the magic hawk into the maze, turn to page 43. If you want to stay and fight the goblin lord, turn to page 51.
WTF is wrong with people that can't wait patiently for a BOFH installment, choosing instead to dole out abuse for a free article either not updated to a set time schedule, or without exactly 7 gut-wrenching laughs?
Do they not realise that Simon, as the creator of the BOFH, has diabolical plans for lusers that annoy? You would think the spade, carpet, & quicklime would motivate fucktards of the 3rd order.
Maybe abuse motivates other humour writers (something I doubt), but the BOFH is the BOFH for a reason. Looking forward to the installment where BOFH handles the situation at hand.
I am very pleased with the quality rather than quantity model. Carry on, Simon!
Phew, thank <insert deity of choice here> for that, I thought everyone at Reg Central had died.
While obviously the second of your scenarios appeals more to my 'angry-young-man' side (and at my age I take that as a compliment, considering I started in this business more than 30 years ago), I fully accept your sanitised version of the truth and will stand down from my obviously subversive and juvenile attitude.
Obviously at least one of my previous comments got wiped out by net goblins before reaching you. I can't remember including anything too 'twatty' in any of them (good word, BTW), certainly nothing that Simon (if he is indeed, as you assert alive and well but unable to contribute as frequently these days) wouldn't laugh off, but still, Friday afternoons being what they are...
Still undecided about page 43 or 51. I might just have to toss something to decide.
P.S. Nice to know that even moderators have a sense of humour.
This post has been deleted by its author
It was finding an old episode of BOFH that led me to El Reg in the first place! While I'm on almost every day anyway, each and every Friday I'm checking to see if I can waste that extra bit of time before the clock hits 5(ish, I've got 'Manager' in my title now, I can hit the pubs early - extra bracket (normally, can't beleive it's 7pm, that's 3 good hours drinking time wasted. At least it's paid for a good night when I do escape!)) <Gotta close those brackets!
Anonymous because I don't want the bosses knowing I'm reading El Reg while being paid and I don't want the PFY knowing I actually do have to do work from time to time.
For many years, before the BOFH became entangled in some bizarre weekly schedule, I waited patiently, drooling with anticipation for the next installment. I may be alone, so very, very alone in this, but I am delighted that the BOFH is no longer hitting the station on a given day, I like to think he is now being given a proper amount of gestation time.
All the whining about "not enough, not enough" simply proves to me that I am not the only addict out here, but I'm afraid that some of us have a funny way of showing appreciation. Complaining about this situation sort of seems like something a luser would do, whut whut?
Thanks, Simon, it was a delicious read - I think the line "torn between a rock and a hard place" made me pull a muscle in my face, you bastard. Whatever is diverting your time, I hope all is well and thanks for the BOFH, I'm glad to see him whenever he deigns to crawl through the door, unshaven and wreaking of last nights excursions.
"There you go. If you want to follow the magic hawk into the maze, turn to page 43. If you want to stay and fight the goblin lord, turn to page 51."
I've some real fond memories of reading those books when I was a kid - thanks for the reminder. Almost as good as the A1200 my brother cracked open the other day :D
...part of the BofH's master plan...
He's actually been writing one a week as usual but...
Get us all worked up about Monthly Episodes then he'll take our wallet (For safe keeping security reasons you understand.)then invite us in to the Tape Safe to see all the hidden stored Episodes....
"Ok" the PFY say's grabbing his coat "His round then?"
"And the next 5 or 6" BOFH say's pulling out the Credit card and a wad of cash...
"Think we'll need to get a bigger safe..?" The PFY muses...
"Well seeing these demographics..." the BofH mutters looking at El Reg's Phorm log files....
"We just might..."
That was cruel, malicious and unfair.
I usually breath deeply, and put down the coffee cup to read BOFH (to avoid the particular mishaps with monitors which, I suspect, soon end up on hapless users' desktops, leaving them wondering why their screens now vend coffee, but no longer illuminate except for the odd spark now and then)..
Then I sit back with the steaming hot mug of fresh caffeine and browse the comments.
Alas, today there is one more user with the lastest in environmental technology (a lightly coffee scented monitor with a power saving mode so efficient that it won't light up. Though I'm sure that state only extends to the monitor, not the user attempting to use the on/off switch).
Time to try the Peyote coffee and head on over to Page 43 methinks.
Good Idea, on a Friday when there is no new episode, can we run one of the editor's favorites?
If Simon needs a break, let him have one. If any of the heartless commentators above have issue with how often he wants to write a new episode, feel free to try out my insulation tester after I set it to "deep fat fry".
I admit, I have read all the BOFH episodes, and like <AC Friday 13th March 2009 19:08 GMT> I discovered El Reg in the same way and became a regular reader of all the other lovely content here as well. Additionally, when I don't see a new episode on a Friday, I go dig one out of the archive and have my chuckles and move on. <dangling this preposition for you SBeeOFH>
As long as the editors/barrel o' monkeys let us know it is a re-run, where is the problem?
Unless Simon has issue with this and in that case, don't upset him. He's a fine lad with a sunny disposition so why spoil it.
Mine's the one with the 2400 baud modem in the pocket.
Yes, I to am one of those who discovered El Reg through BOFH (started reading BOFH 2001 or 2002) and like Joe H. above then also started reading other content here (still remember drooling over a Sony Vaio X505 article "http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/06/11/review_vaio_vgn-x505vp/"; mine works OK to this day ).
Having read all BOFH episodes I could find on the net, I too had some doubts about Simon still being the author.
Since this is a free article, we can only be thankful BOFH saga continues, but a the same time can ask (politely) to return to weekly Friday schedule.
Weekly BOFH please!
On those rare *ahem* occasions that Jeffrey Bernard was too drunk to write his articles the editor of (I think) the Spectator would simply publish a short line stating "Jeffrey Bernard is unwell". Keith Waterhouse wrote rather a good play with the same title.
Could the fine folk at El Reg emulate this so we don't spend increasingly dull Friday afternoons refreshing the website to see in BOFH is back? At least we'd know not to bother waiting.
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