@What's with the tides?
"Tides are generated by the gravitational effect of the Moon, right?"
Nope. Tides are caused by the earth & moon revolving around a common gravitational center, with the sun adding a third measurable component. Land masses affect water movement, making tides non-intuitive ... Consult your local tide tables before venturing out on the beach.
"So, wherever there's a high tide on one side of the planet, there's a low tide on the other?"
Nope. When there is a high tide on this side, there is a high tide on the other side, too. The low tides are in between. See:
"So doesn't that mean that on average, there's probably not much difference in planetary water coverage due to tides?"
Over 24 hours (+/-) it's a wash.
"It's easy to poke fun at people isn't it."
"Watch out Reg, don't make the articles too hard or the advertisers will think you've only got thickos as readers."