back to article The Equalizer prowls Albert Square

Edward Woodward, aka The Equalizer*, Callan, and "The Summerisle Roast Virgin", is set to appear in EastEnders, the BBC reports. The veteran thesp, who's still treading the boards at 78, will hit the small screen in March as Tommy Clifford for "a specific storyline involving Patrick Trueman which will run for several weeks". …


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  1. Jerome

    Equalise this, f***ers

    Ahhh, the Equaliser - probably the best theme tune in the history of mankind. Here's hoping he puts a cap in the ass of some of the more annoying residents of Albert Square... er, I guess that would be all of them.

  2. Pete James

    He's called Mr Web....

    .... as his name has 3 w's in it!

    Callan remains one of the very best TV series ever done. It's something they could never ever remake. Who on earth would be able to portray such introspective brooding, such professional menace, the complex layers of a man used as a show of strength though violence yet disgusted at his own weakness in obeying his orders? Or Russell Hunter's absolutely brilliant character Lonely? We don't have anyone now who is capable of such wonderful acting. Shame, isn't it?

    Can't believe he's 78 though. Blimey.

  3. Anonymous Coward

    There's an old joke about him

    Why does Edward Woodward's name have so many 'd's in it?

    Because otherwise he'd be "Ewar Woowar".

    [I didn't say it was a good joke]

  4. Al

    I'm sure I won't be the only one

    ... who's tempted to ring up the BBC and shout 'Think what you're doing!' down the phone.

    Or maybe I so need a life.

  5. goggyturk

    Breaker Morant

    A legend for this film alone.

    "On the surface, this is a warm, charming and engaging man but there are other much darker things going on."

    That's a surprise. Failing the Wicker Man ending, couldn't he just shoot Dirty Den, Curly Watts and Tucker in the head with a pistol concealed in his sock, then reveal they were all part of a sinister conspiracy to kidnap a nubile young model who witnessed a local drug lord murder her brother?

    I'd buy that for a dollar.

  6. Ben Naylor
    IT Angle


    Can i just say Eastenders sucks the goats hairy nutsack, and WTF has this to do with IT?

    From now on please assume all Reg readers have negative interest in wanly soap operas.

    Bring on the flames! (and the trumpets)

  7. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm?

    Sorry, Ben, we forgot you were the official Reg readership spokesman. In future we'll run everything by you to check for interest and IT angle. That OK?

    (I'd deliver unto you an ODFO, but since technically you outrank me as readership spokesman, it would not be politic.)

  8. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: I'm with Ben Naylor

    Read that again, Justin. Where precisely does it say or even suggest that I enjoy EastEnders or indeed any soap opera, much less gossip magazines? Are you profiling me? Well, don't, you grinning oik. You're rubbish at it.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Wheres the IT angle...

    Didn't you know Beale sells chips.... honestly. some people!!

    Paris - Cos she's a 2 pinter and it's the weekend!! woo hooo :)

  11. BlueGreen

    Re: Re: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm?

    @Ben Naylor: came close to needing some specialised equipment to remove chocolate from monitor.

    @Sarah Bee: Good suggestion (the first one). I fully endorse it. Excellent idea.

    Or what might be a bit more IT-relevant is this, which I haven't been able to find if it's been fixed or not (though I've not looked too hard as it doesn't affect me critically) :


    WARNING: VM bug & SCSI disks causes file data corruption (SQL2005)!

    "There is a WMWare SR confirmed issue in VMWare Workstation 6.0.3 (and 6.0.0) and Workstation 6.5 (beta) when using virtual SCSI disks in a virtual machine that will result in disk data corruption under heavy IO load."

    This is from may 2008. Does anyone know anything?

  12. Stevie


    They used to film the Equaliser scenes with "control" in a tiny triangular park at the corner of Greenwich and 8th Avenue, almost next door to where I worked. I often walked past them on my way to the 8th Avenue SF Bookshop (now, sadly, defunct).

    They did "Law and Order" in the bars around there too, and the "FX" van chase happened in the meat market the next avenue over.

    Now I work in Brooklyn, where the entertainment is largely of the improvised exchange of small-arms fire kind.

    Bah indeed.

  13. RichyS

    I love it...

    ... when Sarah Bee gets stern.

    Mine's the one with the cold shower attachment in the pocket.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eastenders does suck though

    That bit's true.

  15. Anonymous Coward

    The Equalizer

    So... does he do more damage the further away the targets alignment gets from True Neutral?

    /flames for Burning in Geek Hell

  16. Ben Naylor

    Re: Re: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm?

    @ Sarah

    "Sorry, Ben, we forgot you were the official Reg readership spokesman. In future we'll run everything by you to check for interest and IT angle. That OK?"

    Yes that's fine. It might make for better reading. :)

    And speaking of ODFO, how about you check what you type before you hit send...

    "(I'd deliver unto you an ODFO, but since technically you outrank me as readership spokesman, it would not be politic.)" Do you mean polite perchance? :p

    @El Reg

    Can i get paid for this please? :)

    And in general, thanks Sarah for making me laugh alot, nerve well and truly touched it seems :)

    I think Harry Enfield put it best... "Women, know your limits!"


  17. Anonymous Coward

    RE : There's an old joke about him

    I thought the joke went - 'What do you call a man with 3 planks on his head?'

  18. bluesxman

    Noel Coward...

    I believe he was quoted as saying: "Edward Woodward... Sounds like a fart in the bath."


  19. This post has been deleted by its author

  20. Robert
    IT Angle

    eeeeeeeeeervm v2

    Nothing spoils my nice relaxing Friday more than coming back from a liquid lunch and loading up El-Reg expecting some enjoyable vaguely tech related articles and being met with this sort of shite.

    If I want to read about news I'm not interested in there are plenty of sites maintaining full catalogues of boring TV related crap, lets keep this one vaguely technical.

  21. Geoff May


    Title says it all.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    A title is required.

    What's Eastenders? ;-) (I love my Tivo, it refuses to record dreck like that)

    I just hope he doesn't descend into that dreadful half "cockerknee" accent most of the "actors" end up using. I was going to do a "wood/would" joke, but I'm sure you lot can do better, and besides, I have no idea when to _stop_ spelling his name

    Paris, because she should be reduced to appearing on Eastenders, and nothing else (oh, and the "I only had 2" story reveals significantly more acting talent than most of the cast)

  23. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Re: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm?

    I meant politic, you jerk (I'm trying out some US-style insults, what do you think?).

    Can you get paid? Yeah, the cheque's 'in the post'.

    Harry Enfield was being satirical, you know. I only hope to God you are.

    Oh, and you have to do better than lamely asking what the IT angle is as so many have done before you if you want to 'touch a nerve'. Write an essay explaining why everything you read has to have an IT angle, even stuff that is clearly marked 'Entertainment'. Two sides of A4. On my desk on Monday. Clear and legible.

    Now, run along.

  24. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: eeeeeeeeeervm v2

    What, another one? You really are lining up to put head on block today.

    Look, if you're too silly or sauced to refrain from clicking on a story that clearly isn't going to interest you and then feel the urge to register just to complain that something that was clearly never going to interest you miraculously didn't prove of interest to you - well, I simply don't know what to tell you, Robert.

    For stories with technical content, try most of the rest of the front page. The headlines are usually indicative of the content. Really, though, if that's all it takes to ruin your day, I wish my days were as clear blue sky-like as yours must be.


  25. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Dear god

    What has the world come to for poor Edward? It'll be Patcrick Stewart in Coronation Street next.

    Couldn't we all raise some money for him instead, and save him doing this?

  26. Cap'n wotsit

    @ Ben Naylor

    "And speaking of ODFO, how about you check what you type before you hit send...

    "(I'd deliver unto you an ODFO, but since technically you outrank me as readership spokesman, it would not be politic.)" Do you mean polite perchance? :p"

    no I think she is right.

    as per

    pol·i·tic (pl-tk)


    1. Using or marked by prudence, expedience, and shrewdness; artful.

    2. Using, displaying, or proceeding from policy; judicious: a politic decision.

    3. Crafty; cunning.

    it's called English. most of us studied it at school.

    mines the one with the copy of the OED in one pocket and a fire extinguisher in the other

  27. Pat

    Eastenders - The IT angle

    Have you tried switching it off and not on again?

  28. davefb

    Patrick Stewart , in Coronation street ??

    well yeah, a number of years ago.. playing a fire fighter..

    got paid 35 quid apparently..

    I imagine he'd want more now :)

  29. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Eastenders - The IT angle


  30. David

    Soapy stuff

    Can't stand soaps. Never watch 'em. Seems characters have more happen to them in a week than happens to most folk in a whole lifetime!

  31. PJ
    IT Angle

    Perhaps a new(?) acronym

    I hereby propose the tag [NITA] to prevent the unwary Reg reader from stumbling innocently into an article with No IT Angle.

    In a similar way to the NSFW tag this will avoid the spattering of keyboards with the froth of righteous rage.

  32. Mendez

    IT Content


    I must disagree with your attitude here. It's all very well us men saying that there should be more technical articles about clusters and SANs and the workings of the internal combustion engine but we have to remember that women use the internet too now. The fairer sex have their own set of subjects they get passionate about which includes soaps, as you can see from the intensity of Ms Bee's response and The Register is right to provide content aimed at them too.

  33. Ben Naylor

    FOTW for Sarah surely...

    Gawd, you really must have had a few at lunchtime, Sarah.

    I read and post on the Reg with tongue in cheek, as most do.

    You seem to have taken this all a bit too seriously.

    More of concern is that, as a moderator of peoples comments on an IT related news site, you have alot to learn honey.

    If you look back you were the one to bite. :)

    Your comments are derogatory, rude and quite frankly if i was employing you, you'd be fired. (and yes i have employed people in your role - they have seen fit to be polite to their(our) "clients, readers, members", as you would expect from a professional organisation.)

    Your rants are nothing but FOTW material.

    The "comments" area is provided for comments. The fact you need to pick on the "IT angle" to "defend" yourself or make your point is laughable.



    -Ben xx

  34. BlueGreen

    IT Content -- By Mendez

    Oh yes, this gets better & better!

    I do love the reg.

  35. ian

    @FOTW for Sarah surely...

    You should know that Mistress Sarah is known for her firm grip of the whip, and her textual floggings are unequaled.

    You're for the lash now Ben!

  36. Davy


    What sort of Class Act Actor would demean themselves by appearing on Eastenders?

    Edward Woodward would.

  37. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: FOTW for Sarah surely...

    Ben, a man of your intellect and gravitas should have figured ahead of time that you'd lose the argument immediately by addressing me as 'honey', and then compound the loss by clambering onto some hastily-constructed high horse; as if you'd posted some reasonable and thoughtful comment which I'd immoderately blown raspberries at, rather than just dribbled over your keyboard a little bit.

    You obviously haven't been around here very long (you'll find I'm usually derogatory and rude, it's really nothing personal), but I'll always defer to someone who claims to have employed people in my role. In fact, I'm quaking a little right now. If you have an issue with my work, you can always email the editor. Seriously, go ahead, big guy. Let me know how you get on, huh?

  38. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: IT Content

    For the last time, I couldn't give a naked mole rat's ass about EastEnders.

  39. Dean

    Re: FOTW for Sarah surely ...


    Give up mate, you're totally outclassed here. You really need to know when to stop digging.

  40. pctechxp

    Maybe they should

    Send the Equalizer (plus regular collaborators such as Control and of course Kostmayer) to Eastenders, Coronation Street, Emmmerdale and all the other soaps in turn to wipe them out.

    Thwn maybe he can go to Channel 4 and destroy all copies of Friends!!

  41. Anonymous Coward

    My CV

    Where can I send my CV for the position of official Reg readership spokesman?*

    *or woman /Eric Idle

  42. VulcanV5

    . . . of course it's IT bloody related

    Not to disagree with anyone here, but the news about Eastenders is IT related.

    As a keen soaps fan who has never missed an episode of anything, I like to be kept up to date with everything (wiv everyfink, as Mr Woodward is going to say) so well done El Reg!

    By way of support for my contention about IT: in a recent episode of Cornynation Street, Ken Barlow and his bruvver were mending Ken's bike in the parlour. Somefink wrong wiv the spokes. Had they hooked up the bike to the kind of electronics McLaren is using, diagnosis of the fault would've been much quicker.

    Similarly with Emmerdale Barmy and that plane crash last month wot wiped out the cast and a sheep shed. IT related too, it turns out, a software glitch at 36,000 miles (according to the script).

    Then there's Crossroads, my favourite, never miss an episode, where the studio set construction would immeasurably benefit from IT input re loads and stresses.

    More soap-related IT news please, El Reg!

    Edward Woodward is 21.

  43. Anonymous Coward


    "Your comments are derogatory, rude and quite frankly if i was employing you, you'd be fired. (and yes i have employed people in your role - they have seen fit to be polite to their(our) "clients, readers, members", as you would expect from a professional organisation.)"

    do you get paid to read the reg? does your buisness rely on it? is anyone forcing you to read it?

    no? good, fuck off then :D

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