back to article Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

Our recent shock revelation that South Dakota is awash with American Sterotypes™ did not go down too well with one gun-toting Yank. To recap, here is the terrifying truth as captured on Street View: American with hunting rifle and liquor caught on Street View And here is our stateside chum's take on our analysis: At …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    CAAF?

    Children Affected by Aids Foundation?

  2. weirdcult

    I'm sorry

    I might be missing something obvious here, but how are you a coward and a fool? Surely the coward needs the gun? I'm not even American or anything.

  3. M
    Happy

    Union of Sausage Anglers

    Neep!

  4. David
    Paris Hilton

    Cavemen....

    Once used flint spears they moved on

    Brits used to carry guns, but we moved on to Paris Hilton grumble flicks.

    Something fishy about men alone in the woods touching each others' guns

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If'n y'all ain' rednek....

    Y'all ain' sheet...

    Anyroadup me duck, when did we "give up our rights like a bunch of yellow bastards?"

    What have I been using down t'local gun club to win me trophies?

    I'll admit to being a bastard and being a bit peaky but yellow? Never!

  6. Chris

    Yeehaw

    All I can say is Wow. Just goes to show that no matter where you in the world, there are always stupid people right there to prove how dumb they are and that rednecks exist everywhere. All he needs is a can of Coors in his hand to complete the hillbilly look.

  7. dervheid
    Flame

    If THAT's the FotW...

    everyone must really be on the chill pills.

    Clearly you / we are not pissing enough people off here!

    Get working on it, you lazy shower of pacifist, ass kissing pansies!

    SB, wine glass down, and get that whip back in your hand woman. Just because it's Friday afternoon is NO EXCUSE for slacking!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Its embarassing....

    ...pukes like Mr. Kelly here that make the rest of us embarrased to leave the States. American Stereotype(TM) indeed.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Peter Kelly NOB

    nuff said..

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    meh

    CAAF = Cockfighting Across America Foundation ?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Get your facts right

    We didn't give up our rights, we never had any.

    Tsk, what an idiot.

    PS - for balance, can you find a picture of a Brit with bad teeth wearing a bowler hat and drinking tea whilst playing croquet? If you can, he's got a lucrative career ahead of him playing foreign creeps and baddies in a succession of formulaic Hollywood films.

  12. not sure
    Happy

    HAHAHA

    And again HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  13. Gil
    Flame

    FAO Peter Kelly

    We are yellow because we dont have (not allowed) guns?!? You see, your losing the argument already with your statement.

    What a buffoon!

  14. Robert Ramsay
    Thumb Up

    Like Billy Connelly said about Reagan:

    "My dad's half his age and we don't trust him with the remote control to the telly!"

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    To: The UK

    We're really sorry about this whole mess over the past 200 years.. We promise to do better the next 200 years.

    We also promise to put an end to all this "We kicked Blighty Arse in 2 wars, and pulled it out of 2 more."

    PLEASE keep Wacky Jacqui away from our government.

    Your Friend,

    The Citizens of the USA

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Utterly Stupid Arsehole?

    Uniformly Simple Americans?

  17. sig
    Alert

    Who's the braver?

    The chap who faces the day armed only with dry wit, or the slackjaw carrying an assault rifle?

  18. Don Sinclair

    Yellow - oh we are are we?

    Let's not pussy foot around the issue, it's because of the septics (and their kind) that i have to:

    (1) Stand outside the pub for a fag while the womens institute play volley ball in the pub cresh.

    (2) Listen to my kids end their sentences an octave above when they started speaking.

    (3) Be concerned with the Pitt, Jolie, Aniston love triangle.

    (4) Not be concerned that American football is just an excuse for grown men to dress up as tampons.

    (5) Be impressed when a wrangler wearing in-bred lasoos a 6 month old calf with a broken leg, while onlookers cry at the site of a parachutist entering the rodeo arena while playing 'the star spangled banner on a nose flute.

    If you are so hard, Mr. Yankee Doodle Dandy, get over here with your mates for a proper rumble (thats another thing the 'let's get ready to rumble' debarcle before a boxing match........Remeber the Lewis, Tison fight?) Incidentaly, if you would be so kind as to leave that very large weapon at home and read up on the Queensbury Rules on the flight over..........that's of course if there are any flights coming out of America as they tend to be grounded if a wasp enters the departure lounge!..........Oh yes - 9-11, don't you mean 11 -09 or are you too soft to even put your day before your month?

    If you are after my contact details they are - Carol Thatcher, BBC House, London, Blighty

  19. Chronos
    Coat

    CAAF?

    Cockfighting Across America Foundation, apparently. I think... no, I HOPE they mean chickens. Can you imagine the light saber noises for added comedy?

    I know, I'm going...

  20. Rob
    Go

    New Monitor please...

    ... gotta love it.

    I don't know about anyone else, but I cry myself to sleep everynight for giving up our rights to bear arms and shoot one another :D

  21. fnordianslip

    Could it be:

    Uncompromisingly Selfish Attitude.

    fnord

  22. Simon
    Black Helicopters

    they let you have guns for a reason

    and that reason is Darwinism...

    also "Yellow Bastards".. not exactly the Queens English !!!

    Si.!

  23. B Weeks
    Thumb Up

    Cowards?

    Yeah right. I'd like to see him come and have a go without his gun.

    He should ask his own armed forces how cowardly us brits are. Especially the ones we helped train.

    At least he proved you were spot on with the stereotype. But then he wouldn't understand irony would he?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Good question, what does CAAF mean?

    google's no help. Probably not Children Affected by AIDS Foundation in this context.

    USA at least means Estados Unidos de America or perhaps États Unis d'Amérique, but I figure you knew that already.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    USA = Knob headed Yank

    Nice P3nis extension/Rifle.

    ( PS about title; Because most of them can't spell either).

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Sorry Lester

    But you are sick:

    CAAF - Cockfighting Across America Foundation

    Totally sick.

    Surely this is correct and it isn't something else like: US Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces.

    Now put it away before the police arresting you for being a flasher.

    As for the American moron moaning about Brits giving up rights to bear arms, where exactly has that right got Americans? Your country is nothing but a war monger and run by criminals, your people paranoid, and the fact that any nut can get virtually any gun shows that your country is well and truly fecked up. The amount of massacres because of your gun laws show that your country has nothing to be proud of.

  27. Simon Painter
    Coat

    CAAF

    Lester, I didn't know you were a member of the Cockfighting Across America Federation. Bravo, sir, for fighting all those American cocks.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    USA

    Means United States Army - although I'm sure that the vast majority of the brave men and women of our Armed forces wouldn't react quite so aggressively to a little friendly prod.

    Flames - because even nerds love the smell of napalm in the morning!

  29. Elmer Phud

    Wrong way round

    How is it that the Brits are yellow?

    They are the ones prepared to walk the streets without guns.

    The cowards are those who insist on being armed and somehow equate that with respect.

  30. Steve Evans
    Black Helicopters

    As usual...

    ... the yank is ill-informed. Us Brits do still have the right to own firearms. What we don't have the right to do is own military weapons which have no use but to kill humans.

    Pistols are an easily concealed personal protection sidearm of limited range which have no role in pest control or hunting. Therefore they are not permitted. Automatic weapons are designed for spraying an area. These too are not permitted. Learn how to shoot a rifle accurately and you don't need to loose off a whole clip to get that rabbit, or use a shotgun which will leave you something to cook in the pot.

    No animal hunting or pest control is suitable for an uzi, a Barrett 50mm, an M16 or an AK47. So Mr Yank, if you own one, what exactly are you planning it use it for?

    Black helicopter as it's probably privately owned by someone called Randy and equipped with weaponry that would make Arnie envious!

  31. James
    Stop

    Real men don't need guns.

    Doesn't the fact that we get through life without the need for guns to protect us make the Brits less 'yellow'?

    Go on the mean streets of Britain and you'll find we can kill each other with knives. Not guns like those American pussies.

  32. Sean McPherson
    Stop

    Guns in Street View

    A quick click on the 'street view' icon and then 'search nearby' for 'gun' and we'll see the person in question is *in the parking lot of a gun store*. He's literally 3 parking spaces from the front door of the Dakota Arms dealer at the corner of 7th and Main. A little less of a 'OH NOEZ' moment, I'd suggest.

  33. Robajob
    Thumb Down

    Poor effort

    Perfectly acceptable grammar and spelling, no exclamation marks (never mind multiple exclamation marks), no swearing worthy of the name, and only one word capitalised. What does this amateur think he's doing?

  34. Tawakalna
    Paris Hilton

    well shucks Cleetus..

    ..us limeys sure are yeller. Why, y'all don' see us standin' up to that thar Hitler feller or nuthin'..... guess if we wuz brave like those fine folks in the US of A, we'da stayed at home until the bad guys declared war on us (while screwin' our so called Allies fer every last cent) then joined in halfway through un say we dun wun it fer the team.

    And then later we cud invade little Asian countries in the name of dmawcrawcy, freedom and the American way...

    (any chance we can have a burning American flag icon? drives the colonials up the wall, dont'cha know, old bean! pip-pip!)

    Paris cuz she's our best friend now and she ain't never been bothered if mine's yeller or not, y'all!

  35. Fluffykins Silver badge

    About what I expected

    From the richest Third World nation on the planet

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He's got a point...

    ...I'm scared of the mad gun toting lunatics.

  37. Neil

    Bud, Chuck and Randy

    He says that like every Bud, Chuck and Randy being allowed to carry guns has worked out well for them. Maybe he doesn't get out much. I wouldn't either with all those gun totting civies on every street corner (or car park).

  38. keith
    Flame

    tipical americans

    see no wonder inocent people in america get killed and carry guns around cause there pocksey goverment cant do shit to stop it at least in the uk where trying to reduce it and this is tipical americans they prefer to fight using guns and not with there fists what cowards they are they think having a gun makes them such big arseholes well guess what americans get a life you dont need guns to fight. screw you yankees

  39. Simpson
    Flame

    on the brink

    The thing that would scare some people the most is, he might be be holding a CIGARETTE! in his right hand. The booze looks faked though. Plus everyone here in the USA knows that you always hold your booze and your gun in different hands. Holding them in the same hand is only excusible if you are holding another gun in your other hand.

    I don't think the Brits are yellow. Bastards yes, but not yellow.

    But seeing articles from last year where your MPs are worried that images of knives in "the dark knight" could harm the delicate British youth... Well, that certainly puts you on the suspect list (or at least your children).

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    CAAF

    Campbell Army Airfield?

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Brits complaining

    Now THERE'S a stereotype that saves time.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yellow?

    Methink he was referring to teeth colour...

  43. Ed
    Paris Hilton

    Hilarious

    Where do you find these jokers?! He says "didn't give up our rights" which is all well and good... but he is refering to a country where you can't even play poker online right? Or spreadbet? We still have the "right" to do those things you plonker.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @AC - 6th February 2009 16:06 GMT

    Your title stole my comment

    Uber Sensitive Asswipes,

    Unpunctual Secondary Allies

    Given their love of guns you'd have expected them to turn up in time to actually do a bit of fighting.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Glass Houses

    On 9/11 the UK stood beside the US and we kept going to the US .

    After 7/7 you couldn't find a Merkin at at UK airport or on any street. In fact, the US govt issued a warning about travelling to the UK.

    Who are the cowards?

  46. Paul Brandon

    CAAF

    For those who hadn't figured it out, the clue is in the article CAAF = Coward And A Fool.

    He may be right in one sense you'd be a fool to go up against a wild bear hand to hand, but it's hardly cowardly :)

    So Brits = Heroic Fools

    USians = Sensible Cowards

    Which is better?!

  47. John
    Coat

    No

    No, it just means that you have to call the 'Yanks' whenever the s4!t hits the fan. :)

    Mines the one with the concealed weapons permit in the breast pocket.

    John - Seattle WA, United States of America.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wrong Question

    The real question here is why are Brits so easily driven to hysteria and pandemonium at the site of someone in South Dakota (big hunting area) legally carrying a hunting rifle from a shop to his vehicle? When will this national inferiority complex relent???

  49. Christopher E. Stith

    Brits aren't yellow. The guy must've confused the UK with France.

    There ya go. Now the US has offended two countries. Still a bit slower than when Bush was in office. We'll need to ramp this up to have a shot at the record.

    Seriously, though, have fun with your non-assault rifles over there in Blighty just as I do with my non-assault rifles over here. Some of us in the US love our British friends. I'm pretty glad my ancestors broke away, but that doesn't mean we can't be civilized to one another in present times.

    By the way, Royal Marines and the rest of the MoD are some of the world's finest and bravest fighting forces. Anyone who says any different is a clueless dolt. Oh, and the whole thing all the way back in WWII? Britain was under constant bombardment and didn't surrender. The US did play a big role, but to say the Brits didn't fight that war bravely and honorably is just ignorant.

    Long live the US, the UK, and our friendship.

  50. An ominous cow herd

    CAAF

    No, no, no, Lester's not into cockfighting, he's surely a member of the Caring Activists Against Fur (CAAF), a NY/NJ based animal rights group who organises anti fur protests in NY and NJ.

    see www.caafgroup.com

    :?)

  51. Fluffykins Silver badge

    MESSAGE FROM, H.R.H. THE QUEEN

    I saw this the other day. Seems somehow appropriate.

    To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

    Dear Subjects

    In light of your declining failure to handle your economy and your recent inability to nominate uniformly competent candidates for office of President, and thus to govern yourselves, We do hereby give notice of the revocation of your Independence, with immediate effect. (if necessary, look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will now resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Utah, with which she remains unamused (that means “doesn't like”).

    Mr Barak Obama is to report at his earliest possible convenience (which is a polite way of saying he is to get his ass over there) to Windsor castle, where he will take up duties as an assistant butler at Buckinham Palace.

    Mr George Bush junior will be assigned to a nursing home for the terminally bewildered in Bognor Regis, where accommodation has been arranged for his comfortable stay.

    Mr George Bush senior will attend a course in effective birth control. We do appreciate this is a little late in the day, but it will give Us a certain satisfaction.

    Our curent Prime Minister will assume the same position with respect to America. He will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded forthwith.

    To aid in the return of your country to the status of a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

    1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will now spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (if necessary,look up 'vocabulary' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

    2. There is no such thing as U.S. English. English is the language we speak. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter “u” and the elimination of “-ize.”

    3. July 4th will be continue to be celebrated as a public holiday in order to acknowledge the end of your unsuccessful 250 year experiment in independence.

    4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready yet to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or spending hours with a therapist then you are not ready to shoot grouse.

    5. In view of the above Rule, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

    6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side of the road with immediate effect. Using roundabouts while you learn to drive on the left may help you understand the British sense of humour.

    7. At the same time, all your forms of measurement will go metric with immediate effect. We had to do it 20 years ago and we discovered that it works better than the old imperial system anyway. Because your monetary system is already metric (you did get that bit right) you will be permitted to maintain the dollar as your form of currency. We may however decide to brighten up those dull old green and black notes were some exciting new spring colours and pictures of ourself

    8. On the subject of money, you will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been mistakenly calling gasoline) of roughly $10 per gallon. And you will commence using the Imperial gallon. Get used to it. “Checks” will be referred to as “Cheques.”

    9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable, as (based on their rather small population) they are the greatest sporting nation on earth and this can only be due to something they put in their beer. They are also still a part of the British Commonwealth - see what it has done for them. American drinks previously known as beer will henceforth be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine” allowing them to be sold without risk of further confusion until such time as you get used to drinking proper beer.

    10. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having One's Royal ears removed with a cheese grater and second only to Dick van Dyk’s mutilation of what one assumes to be Cockney in Mary Poppins.

    11. You will cease playing that game that you call American football. There is only one kind of proper football; the game you (mistakenly) insist on calling “soccer”. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

    12. Further; you will cease playing baseball. It is not reasonable to hold an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

    13. You must tell us who killed JR. It's been driving us mad.

    14. You will refrain from describing things as “kinda like”. The subject is either similar to something else or it is not.

    15. Equally, you will refrain from using the expression “Have a Nice Day” It never sounds as if you mean it and, frankly, it gets on one’s tits.

    16. You will be permitted to retain the verb “sucks” as a derogative term. One rather likes that, and One may consider using it Oneself to describe Charles.

    17. You will immediately stop using “could of” when you mean “could have” or – possibly – “could’ve”. Similarly “should’ve and “should have”, “would have” and would’ve” are acceptable. “should of” and “would of” are not. It makes One’s toes curl

    18. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

    19. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed with vinegar not with tomato sauce (which you mistakenly call catsup.)

    20. Tea will be properly brewed. Teatime will begin promptly at 4:00 p.m. daily, with proper cups and saucers and never mugs. High quality biscuits (which you mistakenly refer to as “cookies”) and cakes, plus strawberries (with cream) when in season, will be served at tea time.

    God Save the Queen!

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Beating up small countries

    That's a laugh coming from the septic tanks, we in the UK prefer to refrain from beating up small countries and torturing people. We don't need guns to keep a stiff upper !

  53. Bill Cumming
    Coat

    How to annoy gun toting Americans....

    in 2 easy steps...

    1) Print the image of the "Stars and Stripes" flag on a tea-towel

    2) Use said tea-towel to dry the dishes

    3) Watch as the rest of his neak and head turns red..... :D:D

    Mine is the one with the kevelar vest inserts...

  54. Peyton
    Heart

    hmmm... I see what's going on here

    I was initially disappointed in this FoTW - left me feeling decidedly 'meh'. However, after reading the comments, I'm thinking this was just bait for an even better FoTW! As of my posting, I'd say Don is in the lead.

  55. Keith T
    Coat

    The meaning of CAAF? Here you go (maybe)

    You guys overseas probably aren't familiar with this, but in *some* parts of the USA you are a bastard if your father is not also either your brother and uncle.

    And if the USA means US Army, then that means Peter Kelly couldn't get into the US Marines.

    The meaning of CAAF? Here you go (maybe):

    http://caaflog.blogspot.com/2006/09/golden-caaf-award.html

    Keith CANADA

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    It's truly sad

    To see the FOTW is a weak-kneed wanker and able to so easily stir emotions on both sides of the pond.

    I'm sad for everyone getting so bent out of shape by someone with a single brain cell.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    USA = Uses Semi-automatic Arms

    title says it all

  58. Keith T
    Jobs Horns

    Americans still think they and Napoleon won the War of 1812.

    "We kicked your ass in 2 wars"

    Americans still think they and Napoleon won the War of 1812.

  59. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Clubs and knives are better...

    and a lot cheaper too, plus you can pick them up almost anywhere! Brill!

  60. Dargs
    Paris Hilton

    CAAF

    "You sir are a Coward And A Fool." Maybe?

    Paris, because there's some Paris moments going on here somewhere...

  61. The Fuzzy Wotnot
    Alert

    Hmm guns protect do they?

    So Mr Prat, has the murder rate all but disappeared since you all got armed? Have people stopped threatening each other? Do shops still get robbed? Have wars stopped since we all started arming up?

    Much like your passion for captial punishment, not much of a deterrent really?

    Just clean your weapon while it's still loaded, do us and your fellow countrymen a favour, FOAD!

  62. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    It's not the lack of guns...

    in the UK, it's the lack of anything really... The continual grasp at being relevant and the constant criticism of all things different are what makes the UK so sad. The fact that there is no room in the UK to pee, let alone shoot, does not mean that other countries do not have sufficient space to own and shoot a handgun for no other reason than target practice.

    Perhaps some day the UK will be relevant again. In the mean time keep nudging and winking at each other about how clever you are.

  63. Hombre sin nombre

    @Steve Evens

    As the sometime owner of a scary evil black military style semi-automatic assault rifle, I will admit that the only practical application I foresee for it would be the killing of another person.

    I live in a bad neighborhood. You don't really have the same gang violence problems over there, as your inner city minority population is much less of a problem. I have a big scary gun because I live near big scary people who may someday decide to rob me.

    I will sell it/get rid of it when either police response time comes down to <10seconds, or when there are no more violent youths who want my stuff. (never)

  64. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Couldn't the yanks at least SHARE what few brain cells they have?

    What is it about Americans? They claim they have the free-est and most democratic democracy in the world (i.e. they're free to elect the multi-millionaire of their choice).

    BUT... they don't feel safe in that god-fearing utopia unless they're carrying a firearm?

    The UK is far from perfect, but at least we don't all live in a media-generated fantasy world - or export our violent fantasies all over the globe. (All right we used to, but that's another argument - whatever we were in the past, it was never 'yellow').

  65. mark11727
    Coat

    Ah Jeez...

    Just when I was getting through a week with El Reg commenters NOT pissing all over teh Murkans, and the DOOFUS MISTER KELLY USA goes and spoils it again for everyone.

    Let the Yank-bashing begin.

    Again.

    Mine' s the one with the Glock

  66. jake Silver badge

    I was wondering what that noise was.

    It was the sound of knees jerking all over the world ...

  67. Michael

    LOL

    While I agree that the man pictured in the story gives off a bad impression, and I'm not sure of the background to the story, I'm utterly amazed that folk s in the UK actually embrace the loss of the right to defend yourself, forcefully if necessary, against either criminally engaged civilians or... wait for it... oppressive government. Did you not see the utility in personal arms when the United States broke away from the mother country? Do you feel your government will never need to be persuaded, again forcefully if necessary, to do something against the will of the citizens? 'Military Firearms' are indeed meant to kill people. The 2nd Amendment in the US does not protect hunting, although, guess what? Hunting and 'military firearms' perform the exact same task, regardless of how much plastic, wood, black anodizing, or pink pastel paint you throw on it. It protects the right of the people to personally and individually own a tool which may be used to overturn an oppressive regime. I guarantee this post will get flamed, but really people. Just open your eyes a bit.

  68. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I am ashamed

    All my fellow 'merikans here and that's the best FoTW people could come up with. I swear the quality of our frothing lunatics posting on internet message boards is getting lower all the time. Where is kemph (kamph however it's spelled, I can't be assed out to look it up at the moment) and his "run away from the databases" rant when you need him ~le sigh~. This just isn't up to the standard Mr. Kelly do try harder next time.

    Oh and for everyone that got their panties in a bunch over the article and the picture all I can say is ODFO, grow up and get a life. Personally I found the whole thing very funny then again unlike some I don't seem to have permanently left my sense of humor behind when I was born.

    Paris cos even she is smart enough to tell when El Reg is taking the piss out of inane stereotypes.

  69. the spectacularly refined chap
    Thumb Down

    Oh no, more "at least I know I'm free" tripe

    I have to wonder just how they managed to pull such a slick marketing job on the US constitution such that every American believes it to be the ultimate guarantor of freedom and everything that is either in or might be in it is somehow a God-given right.

    It isn't clear that the constitution gives an individual the right to bear arms and even if it does that means the constitution is wrong. The right to life is surely more important than the right to have toys. I worry that the US must be a notion of retards that they cannot see the constitution is a ridiculous document that serves to oppress and endanger the American people rather than give a cohesive set of proper rights.

  70. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @sean McPherson

    if he was in fact in the car park of a gun shop, then he would have been in the ideal place to get some sort of rifle case for it. Even wrapped up in paper or in any sort of bag would maintain the vague pretence of safety.

    In the UK you can own guns, just not handguns, or automatic weapons, and you need to be licenced, and can't buy them in any corner shop. Also if you walk around the streets with them in your hands you will be shot by the police faster than an unarmed Brazilian electrician

  71. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Most of us aren't that defensive...

    It's just the ones that do are amazingly loud, obnoxious, and so damn annoying. Plus they tend to be violent, so if one of us tells them to shut up they'll beat the crap out of us (as beating the crap out of people who are different is as much of a US past time as setting cow shit on fire and breaking post boxes with baseball bats). Most of it is the bully like personalities that have been supported by our society here over the last several decades as "outgoing, successful, and honest" even though they tend to just be full of crap and jerks (mostly due to neglectful parents who, with blind eyes, say their child is an angel, even after trying to rob someone in my own house with a knife during a party). They now run our governments, media, and most corporations... joy...

    You can tell the good ones in gov, media, and most companies by the look in their eyes as they have broken spirits :P (I wish I was actually kidding)

    HELP!!! I'M TRAPPED IN A MAD HOUSE, WITH NUKES, AND TRIGGER HAPPY FREAKS!!!

    To add to the rest of the resurgence of the idiot spirit of US sayings: "Thems fightin' words." When you hear that, get your knives ready, because anyone who says that has very little skill at debate and argument ;P

  72. Breandan Goodall
    Coat

    "Hey, this is Europe. We..."

    Ah nu school civilisation versus old school civilization spats, time to drag the Ken MacLeod quote to play: (Source, sadly wikipedia, but it's probably all true)

    "Hey, this is Europe. We took it from nobody; we won it from the bare soil that the ice left. The bones of our ancestors, and the stones of their works, are everywhere. Our liberties were won in wars and revolutions so terrible that we do not fear our governors: they fear us. Our children giggle and eat ice-cream in the palaces of past rulers. We snap our fingers at kings. We laugh at popes. When we have built up tyrants, we have brought them down. And we have nuclear *fucking* weapons." – Ken MacLeod posting to USENET rec.sf.arts.fandom 28 September 2000, in the discussion of Robert A. Heinlein's quote "The cowards never started and the weaklings died on the way."

  73. Tim

    I'm gonna git me a gook!

    Yeeeee haw! Ah got mah gurn, an am gonna shoot me some charlie ass.........

    i assume i am correct in my pronunciation, but please give constructive critisism, as i was never, nor will i ever be involved in a pointless war against communism.....

  74. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Re: Real men don't need guns.

    Doesn't the fact that you have the highest rate of home invasions, violent robberies, and knife crimes makes you all a bunch of namby pambies?

    Mean streets of Britain indeed - ruled by criminals while the sheeple just run around trying to stay out of the way. Even a moron like Wacky Jacqui has made little b*tch*s out of you - you people are sad; Nelson would be flailing his remaining arm in despair at the state of the "UK" (yuck) today. Sardine, guv'nor!?

  75. William Baggott

    Has he ever met a Brit, or come over here?..

    I see the art of sarcasm and wit is still unknown in parts of the States...

    Tell me again why, according to the NRA, hunters need armour piercing ammo for their rifles in the Sates?

    When was the last time anyone saw a deer wearing kevlar body armour?

    And there's a reason the majority of the populace don't carry guns over here.. WE DON'T NEED TO.... The majority of licenced gun holders over here use them for sport.. we don't brag about how big our guns are, what we've shot with them, etc, as it's all very passe..

  76. Outcast

    or..

    Go into any Tavern in Oz and ask for a personal display of a King Punch.

  77. Matt Eagles

    Cowards?

    I personally fight off the wave after wave of muggers, house invaders and terrorists with my bare hands or a rolled up copy of the FT. The UK decided to give up it's handguns as they took the challenges out of everyday life.

  78. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @ as usual

    "So Mr Yank, if you own one, what exactly are you planning it use it for?"

    Allow me to penetrate all the bullshit. I'm gonna use it to protect myself from my government, if I should need to. You can go grab your Guy Fawks mask if you want, but I'll be loading some clips.

    Get it?

  79. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Usual mistake by the Americans

    They have this odd sterotype image of us as stuck up middle-classes who would rather walk away than confront any issue, which is fair enough since it was the image we ourselves were trying to present while conquering every poor little nation who were unfortunate enough to be on our sailing routes..

    Thing is Americans dont really take note of European Sterotypes of the British which is that of lager fuelled destruction machines who would rather rip your face off than look at you.

    And the reason we dont NEED guns is because we have brought whole European citys to a stand still with nothing more than plastic garden furniture, and if you give us guns we tend to hit things, Where as Americans tend to unload really excessive amounts of ammunition and on a good day hit Mexico - which might explain the influx of Mexican immigrants, nothing to do with looking for work, they just think it will be safer if they just stand in front of whatever it is your aiming at.

    But I do find the whole idea of gun control a futile idea, everyone likes to point out that America's Murder rate is through the roof, and it is if you count the US as one country and not spread of through lets face it country sized states with a population not that much less than you EU. If you share the murder rate by states, the murder rate isnt that much higher than the UK - which as everyone likes to point out has very tight gun control. So the only real diffrence is we tend to put effort into killing someone rather than limp wristly point a gun at someone.

    *\. Mines the one with the knife in the pocket, because you have to get them before they get you.. hang on.... sorry that was our reason for going to war with Iraq - My mistake.

  80. A. Coatsworth
    Flame

    @Elmer Phud

    >How is it that the Brits are yellow?

    Maybe he was talking about teeth?

    In any case, I have to join the inquiring minds around here:

    Cockfighting Across America Foundation?

    Children Affected by AIDS Foundation?

    Chapel Allerton Arts Festival? <- at least this on is from England

  81. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    God I love the US vs UK flame wars...

    They single-handedly make the Reg worth reading! Let me try one out:

    "US citizens are a bunch of SUV driving, McDonalds eating fatties, who don't know squat about geography, and charge gung-ho into every war indiscriminately killing everything when just a little good old British charm would do the trick!"

    Ha that was fun. How about another?

    "UK residents are just a bunch of tea-drinking sally pissants who gave all their rights to the labour governemnt, and are upset about handing the role of global empire to the Americans!"

    That should get everyone charged up! Now all we need are some South Africans, Kiwi's, or Ozzies the jump in... anyone?

  82. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Guns are illegal in the UK?

    Holy sh*t. I'd better put mine in a stainless steel container with loads of supplies, and bury it somewhere that can only be found with a sat nav.

  83. Joe Zeff
    Alert

    Author is an ignoramus

    Of course, we all know that, but I think most of the posters missed the reason. Here in LeftPondia, gun ownership isn't a privilege that the government could revoke at any time, it's a right, built into our Constitution, via the Second Amendment. Now, if he'd written that here in America WE HAVE A RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS, he'd be right, but as it is, he's misstated the facts.

  84. Dave Bell

    An American Lady who knows better.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0xSGMSz45M

  85. Bill Gould
    Gates Halo

    CAAF

    For those still wondering, Lester means Coward And A Fool (CAAF). However:

    Acronym Definition

    CAAF Children Affected by AIDS Foundation (since 1993; Los Angeles, California)

    CAAF US Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces

    CAAF Chapel Allerton Arts Festival (Leeds, England)

    CAAF Cairns Army Airfield (Fort Rucker, AL)

    CAAF Cockfighting Across America Foundation (homor; Jim Rome Show)

    As for USA I'll point here: http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/USA

  86. Dan Mika

    Stereotypes??

    I am from South Dakota; albeit from the eastern part of the state (Rapid City, where that photo was taken, is a good 250 miles away). I have spent time in Europe, though not in the UK proper. Before things REALLY get crazy, here's a few things that people who have never been in this part of the world might not realize.

    Owning firearms and carrying them in plain sight is still legal here (so far).

    In this part of the country, it is not at all unusual to live 50 miles or more from the nearest law enforcement personnel. The state of South Dakota is over 400 miles east to west, and over 200 miles north to south, with a total population of around 800,000. And over 200,000 of those people live in two "cities", Rapid City being one of them. Doesn't leave a lot of people for the rest of those "wide open spaces".

    We use firearms for hunting (we usually eat the meat from what we hunt), and for getting rid of predators (mostly coyotes in this part of the country; they have a taste for livestock; in particular young cattle (calves) and lambs). The livestock is our living; losing a calf or a lamb means you paid for feeding and caring of the mother for a year with no financial return. The idea of using guns for self defense, while romantic and "cool" in many ways, is not an over-riding motivation for most people; more of an afterthought.

    When I looked at the picture, my impression was "Must have been picking up his gun from the retailer or repair shop on his way home from work; that looks like a thermos (vacuum bottle) he's carrying in the other hand."

    We consider a firearm a tool, no better or worse than the person in control of it.

    Anyone with access to land with wildlife on it will normally hunt some sort of wild game at some time during the year. It is a very informal arrangement compared to our impression (which may or may not be accurate) of the situation in your part of the world.

    If you think the media is an accurate portrayal of our society; would you like us to think that "Faulty Towers", "Are You Being Served", or "Waiting for God" are accurate portrayals of your society? I consider them as probably based reality, with the stereotypes greatly exaggerated (Or am I wrong?)

    Anyway, I like your web site, and I did get the humor in the original article; it was funny. I like to get information from sites outside our country (Your site, BBC, etc.) to act as a counterweight to the nationalistic bias that is inherent in any nation's media.

  87. Jon Pick
    Coat

    @Steve Evans

    You are definitely not a a freaky gun nut Steve.

    A Barrett 50mm you say?

    What exactly are we hunting here, Diplodoci?

    I'd offer a gentle suggestion that their .50 (inches see) or 12.7mm rifle will probably suffice for anything else.

    If it's a home infestation of Velociraptors a very nice man will sell you one of these.

    http://www.impactguns.com/store/761226023074.html

    I know Steve's a Brit so like me he probably has a cricket bat instead. Excellent against Zombies.

    I'll get my Umpires coat

  88. Kenny Swan
    Thumb Up

    Made my day

    @Don Sinclair: best rant ever. Have a prize. Also, someone please tell the US to stop being so jealous and insecure and just leave us alone. You're starting to make Europe wish we'd never settled in your damn country. We sent our bloody criminals to Australia and that still worked out better than your excuse for a 'country'. Ah well, live and learn, eh?

  89. Jonathan McColl

    How the gun grows

    The comments that refer to the weapon being carried seem to be getting wilder as they go on. It's not an assault weapon, or "an uzi, a Barrett 50mm, an M16 or an AK47" it looks like the sort of rifle another commenter preferred for rabbit-potting. Of course, if the bloke had in in a case like we have to use in public, I suppose he'd be arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, but there we are, neither side of the pond is quite perfect.

    BTW, I enjoyed both articles

  90. Charlie

    USA

    Surely, in this case USA stands for "Unusually Stupid American"?

  91. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I think the guy has a point......

    We DO give up our rights far too easily.......................

  92. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Give up our rights.....

    I guess this inbred was too busy breeding with his sister/.mother/ Aunt (its the same person) to notice stuff like the patriot act, Guantanamo, all those wall street bankers snorting colombian marching powder through the tax payers dollar and god knows what other stuff the US govt is doing.

    I feel relatively free in the UK compared to the loss of rights in the US, and who needs a gun when a baseball bat with a big nail in the end does the job nicely.

    Paris, as she likes a big nail in her end as well.

  93. Jerry
    Stop

    Brits used to get my respect....

    And I wish it was still 1948 or so.

    But now, they generally can't own guns, and certainly not pistols. I even hear the olympic shooting team practices out of the country.

    Worse yet, the crime that gun bans supposedly decrease....is increasing in Britain.

    And some have tried to outlaw 'pointy' knives in kitchens.

    "British Gun Crime up 242 Percent; Post Says 'Laws Seen As Curbing Attacks'"

    http://newsbusters.org/node/12267

    "Gun Control's Twisted Outcome

    Restricting firearms has helped make England more crime-ridden than the U.S."

    http://www.reason.com/news/show/28582.html

    But it is stuff like this that really concerns me about Britain.

    "Islamist Mob Chases UK Police Through The Streets of London. "liberating" parts of the British Capital from the Dirty Infidel"

    http://kpr37.newsvine.com/_news/2009/01/13/2307193-islamist-mob-chases-uk-police-through-the-streets-of-london-liberating-parts-of-the-british-capital-from-the-dirty-infidel

    "Islamist fascists have succeeded in doing what Hitler's Germany never managed; CAPTURING ENTIRE SECTIONS OF THE CAPITAL OF GREAT BRITAIN, LONDON. British authorities are literally chased out of areas of their own capital, take a look, watch the entire video, you cannot make this stuff up:"

    And that is why, although I thought it would be nice to visit Britain someday, it may never happen. The British may not be there by then.

    Not sure many are now.

  94. Steven Holmquist
    Thumb Up

    On behalf of the rest of the American population...

    I would like to apologize for one of my less evolved fellow citizens. While I normally don't have a problem with my gun-toting counterparts, I can at least laugh along with the rest of the world in regards to the photo. The arse that complained must not be secure enough with his manhood to be able to laugh and see the humor. As a people, I have nothing but respect for the folks across the pond. I just hope that while every country has its share of citizens that can be called a complete waste of a human existence, that this situation will not cause you to see all Americans as gun-toting hillbillies. But see us as people with family members we always have to take sharp objects from least they hurt themselves.

    Cheers!

  95. brian murray
    Stop

    Why do Americans have guns?

    Can someone remind me why Americans have guns? According to the Constitution it should be purely for the purpose of defending their country from enemies both domestic and foreign (or some such) but I see no evidence of that: unless a deer running away from you presents a clear and immediate threat. Is it to protect their families? Apparently not - when someone in USA chooses to 'go postal' (incidents like Columbine are so common in America they have a phrase for it) you never see a plucky US citizen with their precious gun rushing to defend the community do you?

  96. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Guns for show

    Knives for a pro...

  97. Seán

    I'm jealous

    I'm jealous of the usaians and their freedom. They are a young country. Europeans have too many oligarchs running the show. The Jesuits and the Black Pope have combined with the freemasons to enslave us all. Oh woe is me if only I were an usaian.

  98. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least...

    "If I didn't have this gun, the King of England could just walk in here any time he wants, and start shoving you around. Do you want that? Huh? Do you?"

    In America they're allowed guns, but only because they didn't read the 2nd amendment properly.

  99. paul bell

    not really a sterotype

    look closely at the bottle - what a wimp, it's root beer! real Americans drink Irish or Scotch!!!!!!!

  100. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    OMG - a gun! *squeal, wet panties, panic, ohnoez!!!11one!!11*

    I'm a Brit in the USA, and I rather enjoy having the freedom to legally own my couple of AR15s, my FN-FAL (L1A1 over there), a couple of shotguns and a few handguns. Happiness is a warm barrel and a tight group, as I'm sure a few of you fellow-shooters could confirm.

    However - I wish that the politicians (and others) in the increasingly bizarre, Orwellian island of my birth would wake up and realise that mere possession of an item does *not* in itself mean criminal intent.

    On a slightly divergent note: "Knife crime", my foot. It's a crime, period - regardless of the item used.

  101. Chronos
    Joke

    Re: CAAF

    > For those who hadn't figured it out, the clue is in the article CAAF = Coward And A Fool.

    We know. We just have senses of humour. I mean, come on, COCK fight? How could we resist? This entire thread was started by some dick waving himself at the rest of us...

    CAAF = Can't 'Andle A Firearm (although I reckon Lewis has probably forgotten having used more weaponry than this "gentleman" has ever seen in his miserable life, which makes the irony all the more amusing)

  102. Tom Silver badge

    whats all the fuss about?

    Thats only a little girly gun, now if he had one like this..

  103. Chris
    Happy

    Jan Keys !!!

    The right to bear arms, taken in an american sense is automatic death machines.

    Try something UK style, the right to put one's mitt's up.

    Saves a whole lot of gunshot wounds.

    Happy. Because I live In CET

  104. Steen Hive
    Joke

    The trouble with Septics

    Is they have no respect for the person. Unless the person is tooled up. Their concept of defence is as skewed as their spelling if it. Nice people though ;-)

  105. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    No Title Required

    For a possible explanation of American attitudes:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLzo9pOXa-s&feature=PlayList&p=116705E5A037C612&playnext=1&index=5

    Evil Gates, cause it's all MS's fault (somehow)

  106. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Lucky he's a Family Guy...

    Founding Fathers:

    "D'you think the language in the second amendment is clear enough? You know about the right to bear arms"

    "Of course it's clear, every American has the right to hang a pair of bear arms on their wall, how could that be misconstrued"

    "Alright, fantastic then. Wait you know what? Before we send this to the printer, let's take that abortion thing out"

  107. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Slag USA? slag UK?

    OK, in this apparent or virtual testosterone contest when has anyone heard any UK elected representative or any civil servant say something along the lines of "We the people, for the people, ... "

    The UK take really is along lines of "We the few decide that the many should behave thus ... else ... by order of His/Her Majesty"

    It dunt bear thunking aboot.

  108. Charles Smith

    Meep

    Chinese Acquired American Funds

  109. Damir Colak
    Thumb Up

    Thumbs up for a freeman

    In UK you have given up on your rights to:

    Defend your life or your family - no firearms for honest citizens, just for politicians and criminals.

    Privacy - STOP & SEARCH - what is it, Nazi Germany, 1939?!

    In a free world, one can carry a firearm for self defense, and no, it does not make him instantly a serial killer. Only a fool would think of a such thing.

    Well, you must still have the subject mentality deep inside of yourselves...

  110. Pirate Dave
    Pirate

    Dull

    rather dull for a FotW. Wasn't ALL CAPS. No extraneous !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spelling was good. Punctuation was acceptable. Very little stupid-humor at all. Last week's "HOPE YOUR HOUSE IS BY THE SEA" was much more entertaining. Musta been a dull week in vulture central.

  111. David Frazer

    LOL

    LOL. What a brain-dead hick. Even most of us Americans think the midwest is filled with backwater inbreds.

  112. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Beating up small countries

    er, Afghanistan? Repeatedly? Same goes for torture.

    Anyhow, all highly enjoyable, although standards are slipping in the FoTW dept.

    Also, can we please give the award of the Stiff Upper Lip to yer man Sullenberger for upholding the finest traditions of a chap who's pranged his kite, whilst nearly going down with his ship?

  113. Mark Eaton-Park
    Thumb Down

    Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces (CAAF)

    I only posted because like everyone else I have nothing better to do that take the Micheal out of this poser

    http://www.mikenew.com/62k1caafup.html

  114. John Murgatroyd

    You s ? Eh ?

    Nearest policeperson 50 miles ?

    Hey, there isn't one within 50 miles of me now....they're all at home in bed.

    The nearest police presence is the call operator, taking messages 'til tomorrow !

    I wouldn't want one near me anyway, the weather's terrible and they're lousy drivers.

    I don't really need to keep and bear arms...nobody else has a gun anyway. Except the crooks, and they're too busy shooting each other to bother me.

    don't need to shoot animals, I go to tesco for the meat stuff.....saves all that messy carving and shit...

    Anyway, better keep your gun a bit hidden, and do not go into Glasgow with it.....you may never be seen again.

  115. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    @ LOL 22:24 GMT

    I thought that was Hull?

  116. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Yellow = Chinese

    The slight "yellow" is a term of derision against the Chinese. The British were in control of Hong Kong for quite awhile, but I don't think long enough to become Chinese.

  117. James
    Thumb Up

    We can own guns

    http://www.surrey.police.uk/flic.asp

    D'uh. Except who needs one? We farmers? Maybe, though its just for fun.

    You only need one if the guy next door had one and you didn't like him. But wait, the guy next door doesn't have one...

    Guns and chavs don't mix, so why make it easy for them to get one? People who need one or sport shoot can get a license for one easy enough. It's better to know who has the guns and to make people feel that they are on a register so they take responsibility.

    Check it:

    http://www.gun-control-network.org/GF01.htm

    I think Americans are the yellow bastards.

  118. Mark
    Flame

    Just a suggestion

    The site seems to end in .co.uk so if you're a septic and don't like the articles, rather than flame them, just piss off and read slashdot or some other shite.

    Toodle-pip.

  119. The Mighty Spang
    Pirate

    hellooo bill hicks

    to badly quote...

    "there is no difference between having a gun and shooting someone with it and NOT having a gun and NOT shooting someone with it. And you'd be a fool and communist to suggest otherwise"

  120. David Kairns

    Not Cowardly, Just Stupid

    When, as with the Jews, they come for you (and they will), you will wish to whatever god you may or may not have that you had retained a workable self defense.

    Knives??? heh heh.

    You ever see a cat with it's claws sadistically removed by some freakish human scum?

    Well, you probably will soon enough.

    Good luck with that.

    This time we will be a bit too preoccupied with our own psychotic jackbooted lunatics to help you dumb asses.

  121. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Crossbow

    Guns are for (lazy) pussies with feeble opponents. Anything lesser than a pulley bow doesn't desserve any respect. Nothing says "I can't aim" like a semi-automatic rifle. (well, if you except the sawn-off shotgun). Now when you see a hunter with a bow or a crossbow, you know it's on.

    AC for fear of the gun-crazy rednecks ;-). And because I can.

  122. Seán

    @damir colbak

    It of course doesn't occur to you that in a free country you wouldn't need guns to "defend " yourself.

  123. Henry Wertz Gold badge
    Joke

    Assault weapons are for superanimals

    "No animal hunting or pest control is suitable for an uzi, a Barrett 50mm, an M16 or an AK47. So Mr Yank, if you own one, what exactly are you planning it use it for?"

    Umm, they explained that on the Simpsons:

    "Assault weapons have gotten alot of bad press lately, but they ‘re engineered to take out today's superanimal, like the flying squirrel and the electric eel" -- Lenny, The Simpsons

    But seriously, disallowing guns is silly. If someone's already going to go out mugging people, robbing a bank, etc., why would "it's illegal" even slow them down getting a gun? And at that point, why shouldn't anyone else at least have the right to have one? I'd read a BBC article a few years back, it didn't even cost 2x as much to get a "saturday night special" in Britain compared to the US, and gun crime in Britain's on the increase. Except, since they're fully underground, the police etc. in britain don't even know how many of these guns are circulating, while in the US they do.

    I don't think the brits are yellow etc. for generally banning guns, but I think there's good arguments against it... and for those in the US that keep wanting to ban guns, cut the crap with pretending "... the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed" means something it doesn't*. To remove gun rights, you MUST get 2/3rds of the house and senate to pass an amendment repealing the 2nd amendment, and get 75% of the state legislatures to approve it. Anything else is unconstitutional.

    *"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." -- some argue because of mention of a militia, that the right to bear arms is ONLY for the militia. But, really, why would the amendment even be necessary then? I'm sure the militias and militaries are armed anyway in countries where arms are otherwise prohibited.

  124. Dan Mika

    Thanks, John Murgatroyd

    Nice and classy. You like to keep life simple, huh; don't let facts or reality complicate things. And, people talk about the "Ugly American"; ignorant, arrogant and provincial. There are all kinds in every part of the world, as you so ably demonstrate. Just like not everyone over there is like you, not everyone over here is like the ignorant b@5t@rd that wrote the post that started this line of comments.

    Go ahead and flame; I won't be reading it. This has turned into an exercise that is close enough to wanking that I've lost interest.

  125. GHok

    Hmm.

    I would never own a gun, but I would be pretty unhappy if my government suddenly didn't allow me to have one. Considering how many guns are in the US it's amazing there isn't MORE violent crime. Sensible gun laws are needed to try and prevent people from amassing armies among other things. The answer isn't banning outright or allowing unrestricted access, but somewhere in the middle.

  126. Tom
    Happy

    No, it just means that ,,,

    you have to call the 'Yanks' whenever the s4!t hits the fan. :)

    And tell them to please stop throwing crap at the fan.

  127. Pierre

    @ Henry Wertz

    "Except, since[guns in Britain] are fully underground, the police etc. in britain don't even know how many of these guns are circulating, while in the US they do."

    In the US "they" don't really know, but "they" can probably estimate better. You still might have (at least) half a point there. However, as far as your personnal safety is involved, how many "rogue" firearms would you like?: 1% of 2 million registered firearms, or 10% of 2 thousand registered firearms*? Take a deep breath and think.

    Disclaimer: I'm all for the defense of individual rights, including the right to plantigrade arms where it applies. Firearms are just not a good way of securing the balance of power anymore (it's been a good idea for ~20 years, a few centuries ago).

    * Figures proudly pulled out my... hat for demonstrative purpose only. Actual mileage may vary.

  128. Simpson
    Stop

    An apology from the USA...

    I apologize for the lack of sarcasm, wit, and dry humor, from so many of the American comment posters.

    I apologize that they are ruining a good game of “your mamma is sooo ugly she…” with responses of “I know! She’s kinda dumb too… and sorta slutty. I’m sorry that she offends you. Please don’t judge me, based on how ugly, dumb and slutty my mom is.”

    How pathetic.

    To my fellow Americans: Pick your game up!

    Your incessant feelings of guilt and constant apologizing has clearly cost us the Reg USA vs. Reg UK battle of Feb 6th 2009. Your treachery will not soon be forgotten.

    Henceforth, any natural born US citizen who refers to their mom as “mum” will not just be considered an idiot, they will also be considered a traitor. The uttering of the word “mum” by a US national WILL result in a punch in the face, and MAY result in a cap in da ass.

  129. Pierre

    @ Tom 7th February 2009 05:01 GMT

    You, sir, owe me a keyboard.

  130. jake Silver badge

    @Dan Mika and other moderates

    Religious nutcases on both sides of the Gun Debate cloud the issue at all opportunities ... You can't reason with either side because they are being religious about it, not reasonable. Most reasonable folks like yourselves give up in disgust. Don't give up. Your voices are needed.

    The fact is that guns are already available in every country on Earth, legal or not (Maybe not in North Korea? I dunno). Anyone, given knowledge of the local lingo and culture, and a few hundred dollars, can purchase a handgun, rifle, or shotgun and ammo to match WITHOUT the knowledge of the authorities. To suggest otherwise is burying one's head in the sand.

    Last time I was in England for several months, a good friend, upstanding British citizen, tax payer, PhD research chemist for a big international company, offered me the use of a 9mm Browning automatic for the duration of my stay. I declined ... and was vaguely uneasy staying at his house for that time, despite the fact that here in my office in the USA I have easy access to several dozen rifles, shotguns & handguns. The "climate" around guns is different in England; you have to experience it to understand it fully. Mostly, it's fear of the unknown (as you can see, from the above comments).

    But the fact is that the guns are there. Even where they are illegal. In fact, by making guns illegal you are making a new class of criminal ... people who own guns, but don't do anything illegal with them. And you are STILL not addressing the REAL problem ... criminals!

    Consider: When used (in)correctly, an ax, a claw-hammer, or a largish screwdriver can be lethal at distances in excess of 30 feet (horizontal), which is much further than most (civilian) gun deaths. (I throw an ax at logging competitions, and can easily hit a human-sized target at 75 feet; I watched a guy get killed by a claw hammer thrown from 35 feet away up in Humboldt County (it was an accident, don't ask); and a friend once won a bar bet by sticking 7 of 10 Craftsman brand #41588 screwdrivers into a straw archery butt at 15 yards in under 15 seconds ... with pretty good grouping (#41588s are about two feet long, and nearly a pound in weight)). Shall we ban axes, hammers, and screwdrivers?

    IMNECTHO, the world-wide "gun problem" is a social problem, not a tool problem. The problem being idiots and/or criminals in charge of firearms ... That being said, I don't profess to have an answer to the problem. All I know is that a ban on guns isn't the answer because criminals, by definition, don't obey the law.

    Disclaimer:

    I grew up shooting. I've had guns around me & mine all my life. At our last extended family reunion, we had over 400 people in attendance. Nearly all shoot regularly, and I believe all own guns. We have not had a single incident of gun violence perpetrated towards us, or by us, since before the turn of the 20th century. No accidents, either. (Update from the last time I posted this ... My Mom has recently discovered a great-great-great-great Uncle of mine was Christopher Houston Carson ... The first member of our family we know of who used firearms in anger against a human being outside of warfare).

  131. Darryl
    Happy

    Wow

    This is almost as lively as a Windows vs. Mac war.

  132. Tam Lin

    Ulaidh Stealing Albain

    I just wanted to point out that, by surname, your Mr. Kelly is most likely (to anglicize the title) an Orangeman of English-Scots-Irish descent. That, and that there's only 25 fortnights until the next Burns Supper (hic).

  133. Gerrit Tijhof
    IT Angle

    I don't need a gun

    I have a supermarket nearby for my food, a well maintained house (inc. surroundings) so no pests, and a government that can be managed by voting, not with High Velocity Metal Projectiles, thank you very much. And I prefer English over American any time.

  134. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    You can rely on the good old USA

    - WW1, came late helped mop up

    - WW2, came late again, helped mop up again

    - Korea: Fail. Nth and Sth are technically still at war

    - Vietnam: Fail

    - Gulf 1: Fail, didn't finish the job

    - Gulf 2: Unmitigated disaster

    Not the most outstanding record.

  135. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Merikan

    For some reason I keep miss-reading this as "Merkin"; but then, Merkin is a pretty accurate description of your average Yank!!!!.

    Mine's the golden shower proof one.

  136. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Re:Second amendment BS

    That might have worked back in the time of the revolution.

    These days it might work, up until the point where the gov calls in an airstrike/armoured vehicle/platoon of infantry armed with portable machine guns/team armed with sniper rifles.

    If your govt needs to be persuaded by force, then your system of government isn't worthy of its name as such. The revolution was a colony trying to gain rights, not an issue regarding a nation's home territory.

    That said given what Bush jr got away with I would be concerned about your system anyway.

    Bears would be another matter, we have no natural predators that harm humans in the UK to speak of. Protection against wild animals I admit could be a pretty valid reason to own a gun.

    I admit lots of Brits are quick to knock the US approach to firearms, but equally I've often seen people from the US start the argument - you aren't always on the receiving end. There are plenty of people who aren't prepared to leave us to do our thing while you do yours. If you want guns then fine, just don't try to knock us for not having them. Different cultures use different approaches, and what is right for you isn't necessarily right for us. I do not need nor wish to own a gun for any reason.

    I'll also note we do in fact have "self defence" laws, they just don't extend to owning special items for this purpose. They also, as someone found out a few years ago, don't extend to shooting a couple of blokes up the arse as they run away after having been disturbed while robbing your house. (you're not defending anything if they are clearly and obviously running away)

  137. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's all gods fault

    After Noah and co had been floating around for a bit, waiting for the waters to recede, the dodgy toilet habits of all those animals started to make the ark a bit whiffy. So Noah and the boys decided to have a bit of a clearout. They shovelled the vast quantities of shit over the side of the boat - and Columbus discovered it in 1492.

    The real stereotype of an American with a gun is that swivel-eyed SEAL in "the Abyss". As an ex-army friend once said to me; "Never, EVER, go near an American with a loaded weapon", and I don't think he was referring to US military prowess.

  138. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah

    Guns don't kill people. People kill guns!

    (Berkley Brethed. From a classic Sunday "Bloom County" strip Sometime around 1990.)

  139. greatfog

    @Fluffykins 6th Feb 17:21 GMT

    I, for one, welcome our perfidious, shopkeeping overlords.

  140. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Damn Yanks

    As Marty McFly once said - "Nobody calls me yellow"

    UK Never lost a war

    USA either lost or only caught the last five or ten minutes

  141. Trevor Corey

    Fear

    There's a lot of ignorance and fear in this article. I think the crux of the issue is the British have a strong fear of guns through lack of familiarity and don't have enough confidence in themselves to handle one with out it jumping out of their hands and killing everyone within a 5 mile radius on its' own accord. Don't worry, It's natural to fear the unfamiliar.

    Are you able to safely operate a motor vehicle?

    Are you able to safely operate a circular saw?

    Congratulations! You can safely operate a firearm!

  142. stolennomenclature
    Happy

    brave people have guns, cowards have none

    Interesting point of view that people without guns are cowards, and those with them are brave. I would have thought the exact opposite. I would have thought that only a coward would be so afraid that they would feel the need to protect themselves with a gun.

    Interesting also that the people the Americans feel the need to protect themselves from with their guns are in fact their fellow brave Americans.

    America, home of the gun toting brave, etc. Sounds wonderful, does'nt it?

  143. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    @David Frazer

    What a brain-dead hick. Even most of us Americans think the midwest is filled with backwater inbreds.

    I resemble that remark! Erm, is Ohio far enough west to be "midwest"?

  144. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Just breaking this down ...

    >>At least in America we are ALLOWED our guns

    This is very true. It is also very true that a lot of people in the UK would like to have the freedom to be able to own a gun. I am one of those people.

    >>and didn't give up our rights like a bunch of yellow bastards like you did in the UK.

    Did we give up our rights? If we ever had them (in some instances we did) then yes we did give them up - and no, in many cases we shouldn't have.

    "Yellow", no, I don't think so - these rights were generally removed by stealth, erosion and corrupt politicians. What we're missing is a constitution, which is a historical failing and not necessarily the fault of current generations.

    >>Excellent article. You should be very proud of yourself for making

    >>such astute generalizations about Americans.

    >>You sir are a coward and a fool.

    Indeed. It was done in jest. If on the other hand the same sort of jest had been leveled at an ethnic minority I'm guessing you might've had Mr Plod knocking on your door for inciting racial hatred. Aiming at a majority who won't chase you .. yup, I think that probably qualifies "cowardly".

    I think the underlying tone of his comment does however have a point, if we ever had freedom and a democracy it's now gone. Ultimately - we've given it up. We're not free to own guns, not free to say what we like, and thought is becoming ever more dangerous.

  145. Geoffrey W

    @Fear By Trevor Corey

    <QUOTE>There's a lot of ignorance and fear in this article. I think the crux of the issue is the British have a strong fear of guns through lack of familiarity and don't have enough confidence in themselves to handle one with out it jumping out of their hands and killing everyone within a 5 mile radius on its' own accord. Don't worry, It's natural to fear the unfamiliar.

    Are you able to safely operate a motor vehicle?

    Are you able to safely operate a circular saw?

    Congratulations! You can safely operate a firearm! </QUOTE>

    Lets see.

    A car can take me to work, to the store, on holiday. Useful.

    A saw can help me clear out all the old scrub in the back garden/yard and help me make furniture I can sit on or put things on. Useful.

    A firearm can...but let me quote some friends I have made since moving to the USA..."You can sit out on your back deck and shoot stuff. Its addictive." The only time I have ever been afraid of guns is when I visit my USA friends and they try to convince me why I need a gun. Apparently its to keep idiots like my friends at bay. Other than that its a complete waste of metal.

    A gun is a tool, sure, but in modern society there isn't really a particularly good use for such a tool except to give you a dubious hard on. Admit it, USA gun nuts, the things excite you, in much the same way the little icon of Paris Hilton seems to excite a goodly number of Register readers.

    Oh, and my USA friends are still my friends, even if they have guns. I just treat them like my English friends who enjoy train spotting. I just wish the gun owners would be a little more honest.

    BANG! OOPS!

  146. Anthony Hegedus Silver badge
    Coat

    Safeley operate a firearm?!?!?

    >>Are you able to safely operate a motor vehicle?

    >>Are you able to safely operate a circular saw?

    >>Congratulations! You can safely operate a firearm!

    Forgive me for possibly not understanding the purpose of a gun, but I thought that a device whose sole purpose is to propel a piece of metal at very high velocity in a targetted direction, and then have that metal deform on first contact with anything harder than a melon, and continue to propel itself through whatever it hits with high force, causing maximum damage, cannot possibly be operated "safely".

    Apparently if you aim one of these "guns" towards a "human being" and then operate the lever that activates it, the person the gun is pointed towards isn't likely to be a "being" much longer.

    Now tell me what part of "safely operating" a firearm can possibly apply to any of its modes of functionality. Apart from the "keep it locked away and never use it" mode.

    What is it with these yanks that makes it so bloody necessary to have a gun? In this country (United "no guns here" Kingdom) the vast majority of people were happy the last time gun controls were tightened (after Dunblane ISTR).

    Tens of thousands of people are killed by each other using guns in america every year. And all they want to do is to have more guns. It's no use comparing gun ownership to some other dangerous machine. Sure, cars kill more people but the primary purpose of a car is to get from A to B. The primary purpose of a gun is to... oh there's no point, if you're a gun-toting american you won't understand will you? But then we'll get onto the argument that they need guns to protect themselves against the government should the need arise. Paranoid really.

  147. John Murgatroyd

    Got freedom, ain't got gun !

    Thankyou for your [previous] comments.

    Previously, citizens of the US that I have met have been extremely polite. But then they have been radio amateurs. I have also chatted to others who have been employees of the nsa..nice guys all.

    Sorry if I have been construed as impolite.

    However, gun control IS coming your way, even if by the back door.

    I have handled guns, quite a few. Mainly shotguns. I have fired handguns. I feel no need to personally carry one. Who do I need to protect myself from, by personally owning a firearm ?

    Burglars ?

    In this country, I can only shoot them while they are coming IN, and then only if I feel threatened !

    Anyway: http://www.awesomelibrary.org/guncontrol.html

    Have fun y'hear ?

  148. ian

    Sorry, doesn't match the profile

    The gunman in the photo doesn't match my preconcieved notions of what a yank looks like: he is not obese and we all know they are all obese. OTOH, I suspect that the FoTW winner is just a troll, because he fits the profile too perfectly.

    You've all been taken in by a poseur.

  149. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    History time!

    British firearms legislation is interesting, as it has mainly been about panic and knee-jerk legislation.

    The right to bear arms was originally guaranteed in the 1689 Bill of Rights, and the rights of British subjects to possess arms was recognised under English Common Law in 1707. These rights no longer exist, since Parliamentary sovereignty allows the repeal of any and all previous laws and "rights"; thought by some to be the chief reason Britain will never get a Constitution of any sort, since UK politicians don't want any rights that they can't later abolish.

    In 1870 the first firearms licence - mainly a revenue measure - for anyone who wanted to carry a gun around outside their home, which was a quite common activity - it wasn't unknown in Victorian times for policemen to be assisted by armed members of the public on occasion!

    Some mild restrictions came in with the 1903 Pistols Act which banned anyone who was "drunken or insane" from gun ownership. It also brought in the need for a licence to purchase firearms with a barrel shorter than 9" i.e. handguns.

    After WWI the government grew fearful about the possibility of a revolution and the result was the 1920s Firearm Act, which introduced a registration system and allowed local police to deny a licence to anyone they didn't like the look of. Fully automatic weapons were not banned until the 1937 Firearms Act.

    The 1967 Criminal Justice Act required licences - but no registration - for shotguns, while the 1968 Firearms Act consolidated the existing laws.

    The Firearms (Amendment) Act 1988 banned self-loading and pump-action rifles, while the Firearms (Amendment) (No. 2) Act 1997 - passed in response to the Dunblane massacre - almost completely banned the private ownership of handguns - even though the official inquiry did not recommend such action. More recently, the Violent Crime Reduction Act 2006 also banned "realistic" imitation guns.

    Oh, and self-defence has not been considered a valid reason to own a gun since 1946.

  150. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    If this happened in real life and not in print...

    I can quite easily imagine this guy's reaction being: walking to his truck, getting the gun and shooting everyone at El Reg instead.

  151. Adair Silver badge

    Something to hold onto in your pocket

    Owning rifles and shotguns, especially beyond the city limits, I can handle that. But handguns? 'I've got it for defense'--- they whine their self serving, blind bullshit. Handguns have one purpose out on the street or in the home and that's to provide a convenient way to kill people. You might just as well all walk round with a sword on your hip---gentlemen once did---or a club in your hand (don't go getting the wrong idea now). Does it reduce crime? Does it, hell! Just makes the killing easier; any brain dead fool can pull a trigger (probably kill the wrong person though---nerves).

    The 'right to bear arms' does nothing for your safety, except maybe in your dreams. Does it make things worse, well that's harder to say; as others have said it's people who kill people, guns just make the job easier and less up close and personal. I've been out in the hills with a .22 and a .303 for rabbits and deer, it's no big deal. But try concealing one of those down your trousers, or in your sock. You'll look like a dick head for sure, and they're a bugger to draw quickly.

  152. Pete

    Yellow? Bastards?

    tanning salon orange actually, and as many as 20% of British children are born in wedlock - so there.

  153. Jonathan McColl

    @ Pierre 'Plantigrade'

    "the right to plantigrade arms where it applies"

    Where does it apply to have the arms walk with their feet fully on the ground so that we can defend that right?

  154. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    UK vs USA

    I don't know why the US and the UK have these little battles. We have a lot more in common than not. We both build lousy cars that no one wants to buy and we both hate the real villain here, France (and Spain, but that's probably just me).

  155. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Suicide

    America has the highest rate of firearm suicide in the world, closely followed by Finland. On an unrelated matter, America has the highest rate of gun ownership in the world, closely followed by ummm....Finland...

    Now if the suicide rate could just increase past the birth rate life would be a lot happier for a lot of people and countries...

  156. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    HAH

    Both the USasians and the UKians are silly when compared to the free world that is continental europe anyway. We have actually moved on. We don´t need to bring up ancient times where we were bigger and meaner than the naighbours. Neither do we need to be armed to the teeth to prove that we are free and tough. We just live free and nice lives where we are respected by our goverments and can relay on them for safty. UK and US, enter the 21th century and get on with it will you?

  157. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    The right to bear arms...

    in defense of a nation?

    in offense against skunks/marmots/tincans/bambi/anything-that-moves?

    I can gaurantee you every one of us (in the UK) has the right to bear arms all we have to do is sign on the line ( and HM armed services will oblige...

    I believe your armed forces have guns too... as do the pensioners/officeworkers/binmen/unemployed/bums which are all obviously very nessacery..

  158. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    As a Brit...

    actually I agree with our uncouth yank's analysis 100%.

  159. David
    Happy

    Why is that site even getting any attention at all?

    I always find it baffling that Americans make a lot of pronouncements about other countries, or comparisions between America and other countries without ever visting them or knowing anything about them!

    While it's great that they're proud and self-confident, there is a lot of nonsensical rhetoric about how 'we're the greatest democracy', 'only in america do people (insert random thing that people in every liberal democracy take for granted)' ...

    As for this stereotype, thankfully America has two very different sides to it. For the last 8 years we were treated to a dose of 'red neck, gun totin' America'. It seems the American public has finally seen sense and is once again prepared to engage with the rest of the planet again.

    As for their gun laws too, they vary enormously from state-to-state. There is no absolute right to bear ANY arm in the US, just in the somewhat 'crazier' states.

    Gun laws in states like Massachusetts aren't a hell of a lot more liberal than they are in most European countries (at least the ones that do allow you to have guns, and there are quite a few!)

    Most states do not allow you to carry a consealed weapon either. You would really have to wonder about the ones that do!

  160. John Angelico
    Go

    @Fluffykins

    This memo bears the ring of authenticity...(historians will one day thank you for its discovery).

    Her Royal Majesty would, of course, NEVER stoop to self-aggrandisement by requiring the replacement of the "Star Spangled Banner" with "God Save the Queen"

    However, some of her loyal subjects might consider it fitting that the resumed counties recognise that they owe allegiance thereby.

    And the afaoresaid Banner may then be retained for ceremonial purposes at lesser events.

    PS. The sub-editor goofed with the headline, though: Her Majesty is not H.R.H. (that's for Philip and Charles, I believe)

  161. Hugh_Pym
    Stop

    Second Amendment

    Lets face it if the last Bush administration didn't make you rise up against a in armed revolt nothing will. Why do you need those guns again?

  162. ben

    Guns F*ck YEAH!

    I like guns because when the bullet flies out at hypersonic speed with loads of fire and noise and collides with a bad guys head and the brains and bloood splurt everywhere and they get picked off their feet and thrown against a in the air screaming "yeaaarkgeeerrrr" then lie there twiching with massive internal injuries and blud everywhere and somebody nearby screams "Medic!" and more people grab guns.

    Like that JFK guy. OMG, that's an awesome film like his brain explodes all over his new cadillac!

    Your's sincerely,

    A. Mary Canne.

  163. Paul

    I have just one thing to add to this....

    My Father used to work on a Game reserve in Africa. For obvious reasons everyone carried a gun... And for the same reason I can see why some people would need one in the US - not many Grizzlys prowling the back roads of Surry.

    However the only comment he ever made on hunting there was "The only time I'v seen an American hunting was when one blew the back end off a Thompsons Gazel with an Elephant Gun then leave me to put the poor sod out of its misery"... Says all I need to know about 'merkin hunting.

  164. Francis Offord

    Misguided fool.

    I never met a Yank yet who had the balls to try conclusions with the British and came out winning, this bloke is no different. I was able to understand his feelings of insecurity when it came to not ceding his firearms to authority but to aver cowardice to us is plain stupid. All of history is littered with the dross of cockups made by Enlightened Yanks during wars and the great misjudgements they have made. They seem to have a reverse of the Hitlerite axiom "joy through strength" and that never works. Of course, neither does the original. Had they refrained from interfering at the time of Suez we would not now have the ungodly mess which we have in the Middle East, solely due to them. The recognized diplomacy of centuries would have been brought to bear to enable us to withdraw on friendly terms with the native members of the various countries, rather than the current climate. The Oil which they crave in increasing amounts would have been regulated with equity and enough would be spared for them to run sensible vehicles rather than the thirsty ones which are currently the vogue. Proper negotiations would have been carried out with Oil producing countries in order to, YES, ration what is available and ensure that all those who need could get. A great pity that this bloke does not seem to have a grasp of history or be able to reason things out. By the way, I have served alongside Americans, as opposed to Yanks, and found them generous to a fault and ready to listen, co-operate with you and generally be human beings. It's just the odd w****r who gets right up my nose.

    No longer an Angry Young Man, an irate older one.

  165. Wize

    I was always told...

    ...that cowards hide behind weapons.

  166. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    dumb

    Just goes to show the stereotype is true! Obviously dumber than a bag of spanners.

    It just goes to show the cigarette doesn't fall far from the trailer park!

  167. Chris

    @ Suicide

    Finland has a higher ratio of gun owners because of the mandatory national service, all male finns are required know how to operate weapons in service of their country. Unlike America, Finland actually WAS invaded by the russians.

    The high finnish suicide rate could more sensibly be attributed to the 23-hour darkness they suffer in midwinter. Comparing Finns to redneck americans makes you look uninformed. Suggesting it'd be beneficial for them all to commit suicide makes you look like a complete arsehole.

  168. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And...

    @fluffykins

    The use of the word "awesome" as an adverb and adjective for everything will also be banned. If necessary, look up adverb and adjective in the Oxford English Dictionary.

  169. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    all hail

    the american stereotype. mayhap he will cometh to old yellow blighty and teacheth us the error of our ways? im sure with the right to bare arms us brits would be decidedly less yellow. probably more red. definitely lacking a few mouthy rednecks on holiday.

    or maybe he will be punched in the face by the nearest yob/chav/ned/policeofficer/optimusprime and then reach for his trusty gun only to realise that..... yes...... it was confiscated at the airport by armed police. I would guess that he would find it hard *not* to run away from any member of britain's general public if they decided to wallop him.

    in americanialand, the fight would be decided by who was the least drunk / remembered to load their boomstick / pulled the trigger fastest / managed to aim straight.

    over the pond its decided by who is actually capable of winning a fight.

    as for bastards..... considering the way in which america was colonised, isn't that a more apt description of them rather than us?

    :)

  170. Mark Barker
    Stop

    Has no one noticed?

    The "Crazed-Gun-Toting-Yank" in question is, in fact, carrying a paint-ball gun?

    The only danger from this fellow is the possibility of being splattered in primary colors.

    (and, if close enough, a nasty welt)

    --MAB

  171. elderlybloke
    Happy

    You Poms

    had better watch out. John Wayne might strap on his 6 shooters(that can fire 600 shots) , and go over and sort you out.

    Like he did in all those war films he was in,

    He did have enough good sense to stay well away from the real shooting in WW2 ,serving bravely in Hollywood.

    He shot a whole lot of red skins as well , so watch out Yellow English swine and also Scotch swine.

    I speak with much bravery from down in Kiwiland.

  172. paul bell

    what's happened to the yanks in the uk?

    ever think that's it's not 7/7 that keeps people away, but perhaps the ever increasing number of ever increasingly draconian laws being passed in the UK? i for one have stopped doing business and pleasure in the UK because i don't care to be constantly watched and hassled by the cops or other government agencies. as we have learned in nyc, it's not the odd wacko with a boom or aircraft filled with fuel that's a threat to peace and security, it's the boys in blue who are omnipresent and harass honest people going about their lawful business. most of us were happy to give up our nanny when we started to school, who the hell wants to live in a state run by nanny's? a parting quote seems appropriate:

    "Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims

    may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons

    than under omnipotent moral busybodies, The robber baron's cruelty may

    sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who

    torment us for own good will torment us without end, for they do so with

    the approval of their own conscience." - C.S. Lewis, _God in the Dock_

    maybe we could call it "Ode to Wacky Jackie" (with a lot of help from Gordon B.)

  173. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Interesting impression...

    ...that some people on the other side of the pond have of us UK residents. Every farmer and his mother owns guns where I live yet I feel no need to own one myself. Gun crime in my area? Pretty much nil. Says something really. Then again, I'm sure that not every citizen of the US of A is a gun toting homicidal maniac, just enough of them that I'm inclined not to visit!

  174. Matt
    Thumb Up

    @Dan Mika

    Nice comment - I find it's all too easy to get caught up in stereo-typing and/or base our opinions of a place/people on a very limited amount of information - film/tv/wikipedia (shudder) or whatever, and not stop to think that the reality probably isn't quite like that...

    I also love the way these comment sessions kick off on the reg. Ever notice that quite often "serious" articles have few comments, but the ones that seem to get us all going are the less serious - like this, or ones on spelling.

    As for stereo typing I look forward to the article shortly once they get the streets of Dublin up there with a caption on the lines of "Shocker: The Irish really *do* drink".

  175. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Yellow bastards

    Lets see him call the British yellow bastards on a Friday night in downtown Glasgow.

    He can even use the assault rifle, for all the good it will do him.

  176. jake Silver badge

    @AC

    "Lets see him call the British yellow bastards on a Friday night in downtown Glasgow."

    I suspect that most Glaswegians would get him a dram and a pint ...

  177. william henderson

    rights

    the right to see approximately 3000 school children killed each year?

    the right to see Florida bury more gunshot victims per year than the whole of western Europe?

    the right to live in a land with more gun shops than gas stations?

    the right to have to carry a gun to feel safe in my own house?

    those are rights i don't need and don't want.

    with those rights goes the last rights.

    living in a state of fear that leaves people wondering if their man stopper rounds are of sufficiently high performance to avoid prosecution for "over penetration" on a trip to the mall can hardly be called freedom.

  178. william henderson

    fight the state?

    of course I'd like to defend my self against the state but have you seen the price of a challenger these days?

    never mind feeding the beast!

  179. jason
    Happy

    Right to defend yourself

    I'm finding this all very amusing.

    As to the right to bare arms, I'd love to see those very US citizens take up their arms against an 'oppressive' US govt. Why? Well as soon as they got anywhere near a civic building they would be classed as terrorists and blown away by the National Guard. Just try it, go on, excercise your rights. Storm the tax office or something!

    Like us folks in the UK, you have the right to own a gun to hunt but to use it against the state...nope, they will be pulling your gun from your very cold hand.

    Also as mentioned we never really gave up guns cos we never had them in the first place. I never knew anyone with a uzi, Ruger, Colt45, Galil, semi-auto, 9mm or otherwise. We had no use for them.

    A few of my mates dads had shot guns (and still do). Its just after some nutjob in the early 90's decided to gun down about twenty 5 year old children that someone thought that it probably wasnt worthwhile folks having such things as handguns and military weapons. As most of the folks who had such items were a small minority of gun club members life kind of went on as normal. I havent met anyone bemoaning the lack of high powered handguns under their beds.

    Read up here -

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunblane_massacre

    We just thought it wasnt worth the candle to let that happen again. You are welcome to yours of course, its your right.

  180. jason
    Happy

    @paul bell

    Well I dont go to the USA as I dont like to start a holiday guilty until proven innocent. I dont want to give your immigration my finger prints, iris scan, hat size and whether I dress to the left or right.

    That sort of thing makes a bad first impression you know.

    Thats why we go to Canada. Now thats a lovely bunch of folks. Immigration is a breeze, they even got concerned when we mentioned we were off to a certain resort, why? Well there wasnt any snow there and didnt want us to be dissapointed! Now thats a good impression! They smile too and didnt want us to pee in a cup or suchlike.

    Far better food and beer too. Oh and you dont get treated like a heathen or a kid when you buy booze.

    Yes if you want the 'ideal' American type experience then go to Canada.

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