Nigerian car thief turns into sheep We're not quite sure what to make of this report in Nigeria's Vanguard, but it appears that police in Ilorin, Kwara State, are holding in custody a chap who tried to steal a Mazda, transformed himself into a sheep and was seized by vigilantes in a swift ovine suppression operation. The paper sort of explains that the head of …
Dear Sir,
Blessed greetings! I have the pleasure of informating your very god self that you have been named in the will of a Nigerian resident. You inheritence is one sheep that can turn into a man. Please send $150,000 dollars to cover shipping and bureacratic expenses along with you contact and bank account details.
Blessed God be with you.
Miriam Abacha
Greetings,
I proposition you with grat change to profit and help free my dear brother who is held captive in jail.
If you help we will lovely share treasure which brother hid before his arrest.
Please send via correspondence your banking information so that we share may the treasure in thanks for your donation for bail.
respectfully,
Char Ickthumpitywham
Brother of wrongly incarcerated sheep
Ah, so many, many times a simple man has pronounced himself to be a ram (usually to rhe disappointment of others).
This time someone is trying to pull the wool over our eyes as some bloke has been fingered for twocking and his mates on the estate are saying he ain't around. The local cops aren't so sure so the lads have put a shell-suit on a passing sheep and a bit of cheap bling. "Lo, behold" they cry, "Our mate has transformed in to an ovine creature and as such can't get an ASBO".
It has not been mentioned whether the lads had a go at working out the sex of the sheep and unlucky if he'd changed in to a gorgeous looking lamb-lady.
"I'm baaad, I'm baaaad, you know it!"
I know I know, I feel a bit sheepish about the title. Just remember when men turn into sheep there is only yew to blame. Wow I regret this whole post, my hands are a bit lammy and my head is all wolly. I'll get my coat now =P.
@Paul: That's minus 50 DKP for not knowing what the F***K to do!
The writing style is uncannily similar to that of our dedicated AIX support, however a sheep transformation would at least be something, as opposed to a lengthy report in abstract f*ckwittian on how they once again forgot all about UUID and Groups.
Mind you i keeps me in a job :)
We need to find out which 24th century he is from, maybe they can harness the technology to stop a tragedy like this from happening again.
Think of the children that confused, joy-riding sheep could have ploughed through if it hadn't been stopped while still stumbling at the ignition with it's bovine hooves. Just think about the innocent children! Go on. Think about their little lives being cut short by a drug-addled, bleating miscreant of the worst kind.
The sooner we can develop anti-sheep technology the better. They're everywhere you know!
It was previously reported as a goat, wasn't it?
Funny how reports get scrambled as they are passed on. Much like the story of the man who was arrested for having sex with a goat. Further reports said his friend was arrested for acting the goat.
Mine is the one with a mutton sandwich in the pocket...
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