back to article Vladimir Putin bitchslaps Dell-boy

Michael Dell might think twice about dishing out a sales pitch to a world leader in the future after Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin very publicly dissed his patronising offer of help. The founder of computer giant Dell attended the opening ceremony of the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland yesterday. Putin had …


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  1. Joe

    Oooooh Vlad,

    you bitch!

  2. Lionel Baden


    Jumped up arrogant bastard !!

    you pick which one

  3. Shonko Kid
    Black Helicopters

    And in next week's news

    Michael Dell and the strange case of Polonium poisoning.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Comrade Putin...

    Seems you didn't learn anything from the cold war... its an attitude like that which made the USSR collapse.

  5. Anonymous Coward

    Hardly venomous

    I would hardly call that venomous, Putin rightly balks at the Western arrogance of thinking that Russia can only succeed if it accepts 'help' from the West.

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. Francis Boyle

    I have no love for Michael Dell

    But Putin's a crypto fascist jerk and it shows.

  8. Doug Southworth
    Thumb Up

    Proud day for Russia

    I doubt even the developing countries Mr. Putin referenced want Dell computers. My hats off to him for putting Dell-Boy in his place.

  9. Anonymous Coward

    Gotta love him....

    ...and yes I agree, I currently monitor our systems with a lovely bit of Russian software, better than anything from the "advaqnced" west

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Russian Software

    Yeah - anyone can make a pc but it takes a Russian to make a botnet.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    I would have paid a lot of money to be there to see Michael Dell bitch slapped like that!

  12. Anonymous Coward

    Translation error?

    I think Mr. Putin, correctly, translated “How can we as an IT sector help you broaden the economy" as “How can we as an IT sector make money out of your oil and gas rich economy".

    Gas flame for Dell boy...

  13. Danny
    Paris Hilton

    bad russian?

    I dont know where you learnt to speak russian but your translation stinks. He didnt mention anything about invalids. His reply simply said that the countries capacity is fine, we dont need any help.

    Paris, she quotes other peoples words instead of getting her own too.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @AC 13:41

    "...attitude like that which made the USSR collapse"

    Do try and keep up, it's the west that's up shit creek now. The collapse of the USSR happened sometime last century; it was then exacerbated by a crack team of financial engineers waving little Adam Smith books.

  15. Philip Kroker

    Re:Comrade Putin...

    According to a relative of mine who had the misfortune of living in the great USSR, the real reason for the downfall was their prohibition of alcohol, nothing else. They lost a great deal of tax revenues as a result and the people hoarded all the foodstuffs required to make their own vodka. Unhappy plebs + no money = change of govornment.

  16. goggyturk

    Wrong guy

    Personally, I'd pay to see Putin bitch slapped. It's the least he deserves for locking up, harrassing, suppressing and murdering anyone that doesn't agree with him.

    It doesn't matter how much anyone dislikes people like Michael Dell, Bill Gates etc, they're still pussycats compared to someone like Vlad.

    There must be some Godwinesque correlation between the admiration felt for Putin and his ilk and the unpopularity of their targets.

  17. Michael

    Putin vs Dell - mano a mano

    One word says it all.... PWNED! I would pay good money to see that cat fight!

  18. Ash
    Thumb Down

    @Francis Boyle

    There's a sketch from Monkey Dust I want you to see before you use the phrase "crypto fascist" again...

    BTW, I got the Red Dwarf reference.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Translation Error

    Exactly. There are two ways to participate in an economy: helping it to grow, or parasitically living off of it while holding back growth. Mr. Dell wasn't trying to be condescending; he just wanted to give the impression that he wasn't trying to be a parasite. I think Mr. Putin's view of the world is that everyone wants to be a parasite, even if some end up being useful by accident, so anyone who claims other intentions must think he is talking to an idiot.

  20. Anonymous Coward

    @@Translation error

    "There are two ways to participate in an economy: helping it to grow, or parasitically living off of it while holding back growth."

    And which one does the US go for when dealing with energy rich countries?

  21. John A Blackley


    Two men - one a totalitarian with a penchant for hurting people, the other a monomaniac with no sense of social justice (you get to pick) - get into a minor translation difficulty at a conference for the elite of the world. One of them got what he deserved (you get to pick). The other got yet more worldwide publicity. (You get......etc.)

  22. Jan

    Putin scares me...

    ...really, I don´t think there is anyone more dangerous on this planet right now.

  23. Oliver Mayes

    I am so sorry for this but...

    In soviet Russia, economy broadens you!

    OK, I'm leaving.

  24. Anonymous Coward

    heard it

    oh yeah we in the west dont lock up, harass, suppress or murder anyone


    you fooools muhahahaha

  25. IR


    Russia needs no help? Pull out the internet cables that connect you to the rest of the world, and then tell us how far you get. By snail mail obviously.

    Russia would still be in the hole if it wasn't for the rising fuel prices. If no one bought it from Russia then they'd quickly go back that way until they managed to rebuild a proper economy. Buyers and sellers outside of a monopoly will always be helping each other, or they quickly go out of business. If Putin thinks that Russia doesn't currently receive help (in the form of knowledge about new technology/science/medicine at least) then he really doesn't understand anything about how the global community works - and WW3 is coming.

  26. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Private and Confidential Red Zones/Hot XXXXAIReas/ NEUKlearer HyperRadioProActivity .....

    ... for AI UniverseCity ...... Singularity of Combined and Combining Purpose

    Russia has QuITe an Engaging Informal Economy Model. The dDeparted Catherine the Great would have loved IT in it.

  27. RW

    Collapse of the Soviet Union: a reflection on NuLabour

    I've read that the Central Committee vetted the price of everything sold in the Soviet Union and because the prices set had no relation to the costs of inputs, the entire economy eventually went south.

    At the risk of incurring our Divine Moderatrix's wrath, I can't help but remark how this reminds me of NuLabour. My flabber is regularly gasted by news of some NuLab initiative aimed at some trivial aspect of society, just as the Central Committee from time to time debated the price of overcoats. It appears that neither political system (has) grasped that all-important principle, "don't sweat the small stuff."

    But then, what else does the word "totalitarian" mean but political oversight of the totality of life?

  28. Michael

    From the view of an expat

    Being someone who has spent 6 years in Russia... and in learning about all things Russian... I have to say that anyone who doesn't take offense to Putin is ignorant and blind to what Russia is doing.

  29. goggyturk

    @ heard it

    Yep, that's pretty much what Putin says too.

  30. ratfox


    I dislike Putin, but I hate people who use market speak. Actually, I hate marketeers, all of them.

    Putin probably understood Dell very well, he just used it as an opportunity to tell the whole western world Russia does not need them, they need Russia.

    On an another note, few people are as touchy as invalids about people asking if they need help...

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I cant stand the Russians normally but.....

    Go Vladamir!!!

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Should be Vladimir

    Posted anonymously for obvious reasons

  33. unitron

    Meanwhile back at the Winter Palace...

    "@Translation Error

    By Anonymous Coward Posted Thursday 29th January 2009 15:29 GMT

    Exactly. There are two ways to participate in an economy: helping it to grow, or parasitically living off of it while holding back growth. Mr. Dell wasn't trying to be condescending; he just wanted to give the impression that he wasn't trying to be a parasite. I think Mr. Putin's view of the world is that everyone wants to be a parasite, even if some end up being useful by accident, so anyone who claims other intentions must think he is talking to an idiot."

    Wasn't it Lenin who said something about "useful idiots"?

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    "My flabber is regularly gasted..."

    Well-played, sir.

  35. Maksim Rukov

    Imagine if...

    ...all politicians were like Putin.

    Go on, imagine it.

    Whether things would end up for the better or worse, we'd certainly have a lot less namby-pamby wet-blanket pollie-speak.

  36. 4irw4y

    Highland Corrida: Who Paid For Translating The Toreador?

    Translation is incorrect. There was NO any bitchslap. Good Dell. Of course, there are waves raised, "Oh, Yukos, Dell and others..." - people love theories, no problem. But this specimen of translation was professionally thrown into widespread rotation. Would be nice to know from the community, who paid for this so generously? I yet have no applicable dossier to state definitely, so I'd-just-question if one of The Toros was to be pre-charged with an intent to put Mr Put_In into an unconvinient position for being immediately attacked within the ongoing discussion.

    I'd only remind the honorable Post-Reader(-; that the remote Siberian village pays 1/12 of their salary for 128k unlimited Internet and find it not too expensive, as it was ~1/7 just a year ago, for the lucky ones who could drop a cable. And, in view of coming of president Medvedev to this village in a week, there's a hope to have either salary got risen, or cost of the traffic got lowered. Ha-ha. Here one can laugh.

    And re> amanfromMars 29 Jan 17:39 -

    as "Russia" is feminine, so the country probably really needs a tsaress, beautiful at her youth as Catharina Secunda were, well-brought and, yes, Channel Reader, IT-friendly. All she needed when needed anything was just ask her still young at heart men who passed her the power on edge of the spade. But this is not exactly what Mr Dell mentioned, esp. considering two Putin's daughters (-:

    Smiley, because there were great laughters and ROFLs heard amongst the highlanders.

  37. Adam White

    If Obama turns out to be half the leader Putin is...

    ...America will do great.

  38. P. Lee

    How can we help?

    Translation: We can't use "prison labour" anymore, but we could use "gulag labour" if you give us a large enough tax-break!

  39. amanfromMars Silver badge

    The Paranoid El Register Reader ...... Poodles is his Name.

    "Posted anonymously for obvious reasons" .... By Anonymous Coward Posted Thursday 29th January 2009 20:20 GMT.

    Frightened chicken/cowed citizen/pathetic man? Vladimir talks Common Sense, ...what's not to like.

    Sheesh what a load of Jessies you must be, to be frightened to be anyone other than an Anonymous Coward ....... as if that would stop anyone taking an Interest in One if he [for it is invariably the weaker species of human] had anything worthwhile to say.

    And yes, Soviet Style Satellite States are Masters@Open Sourcing Software and that easily Renders to them XXXXtraOrdinary Control of Hardware Systems by and for Remote and Virtual Proxy Use.

    Grow Up FFS ..... Get AI Life and Live IT in the Heat of the Sun rather than skulking around in the Closet waiting for Darkness to Hide your Fear and Ignorance for yet another Dull Day/Zombie Dawn.

    It is a Simple Fact ...... If you cannot behave as Free-Minded and Attractive Alien Beings/Humans, Media will present to you, with ITs Revisionary Future Planning Programmes, Evolving Landscapes and Revolving/Spinning Political Climates, which will Shape Different Time Zones and Plunder/Use their Naturally Occuring Indigenous Assets to a SMART Media Moguls Plan. ....... which would be something Real and New, as they certainly do not Presently Exist.

    And that would be a QuITe Priceless Commodity for Sale but which you would never expect to Own whenever Buying In is all that is Required 42 Control IT with Transparent TXXXXT .... NEUKlearer HyperRadioProActive IT.

    Shake those Spider Cobwebs out of your Brain, El Reg, and Start Thinking about Leading with IT rather than Drinking the Phish you are Poured and Reporting on the Hangover and the Hangers On.

    After All, IT is not as if you Actually have to be Able or Enabled to do a Great Deal [although that is always a Most Welcome, Mutually Beneficial Bonus dDeserved of, and Always Obscenely Rewarded with Sticky Sweet Desserts] whenever uReadership supplies you with Everything you are Ever likely to Need for Feed.

    And as one who would very rarely ever say ever, because of the transient nature of time and ideas [invariably situations are only a fleet of temporal conveniences in Future Changes which have already been Sown as Seeds 42 Grow] ............

  40. Jean-Paul

    Copy cats

    My my aren't the badly translated copy cats busy on these comments. Reads some people have some mental health and reality issues. Please do not come back to earth

  41. fajensen

    Hm, I quite like Putin

    Putin is well worth observing because he is an entirely new kind of political leader:

    Putin openly runs prototypes and small scale tests whenever he wants to introduce a policy; He observes the outcome, gauge the wailing, complaints, counts the number of death-threats from oligarchs e.t.c. and actually adjusts policies according to the results!

    Secondly, Putin works for Russia. Putin openly does not give a crap about "the international community", "globalisation" or whatever bad stuff happens to funny people in strange places - as long as it does not interfere with Russian interests.

    This attitude is entirely unique in the world to day.

    Observe f.ex. the European politicians that are more or less permanently working against their own citizens in the hope of earning lucrative do-nothing job for the EU, UN or NATO in nice an tax-free sunny location. .... Like the one Tony Blair got ;-)

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Electronics engineer

    Communist pig!

  43. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Retards have Rights too ,..... but not to Steal Blindly as they Boldly Go.

    And who needs the latest Hardware whenever it doesn't do what is is supposed to Do and Supply, unless presumably it can be kept Exclusive and Secret for Personal Enrichment, of course ........

    Just what Sort of a JackAss, Mickey Mouse Operation were the Republican Retards Running when Exercising Administrative Rights and Issuing Executive Orders? Sub Prime Frauds and Ponzi Fronts for Global Money Laundering of Federal Funds Bail Outs to Special Accounts for their Retirement Years Dodging Investigations?

    Yeah, I know. A Rhetorical Question requiring No Answer to say Yes.

  44. Andrew Denton

    It would be a pretty short fight......

    ....between Putin and Michael Dell. Putin is a black belt in Judo. Dell would last about 5 seconds.

    FWIW, all the Russian developers I've ever encountered (and there have been quite a few) have been technically excellent and really nice people to boot.

  45. Kieron McCann
    Thumb Up

    We Love You Vova

    Ok, so if we overlook the rather inelegant suppression of opposition parties and rubbing out of journalists for a moment, you can't honestly say that you would not like to have national leader like Putin.

    Like it or not, he is the most savvy world leader today. He's transformed Russia and greatly improved the standard of living of it's citizens by bringing stability and a (gradually) increasing distribution of wealth. Most importantly, he is not intimidated by the US and rightly says that a world dominated by a single superpower is more dangerous than one with a careful balance of power. George Bush proved that point for all of us.

    It's just unfortunate that he lacks the elegance to win elections without suppressing the opposition, but there again who are we to talk, ZaNuLabour have started that themselves in recent months.

    El Reg - don't go eating any sushi offered to you by members of the Labour party

  46. This post has been deleted by its author

  47. Trygve

    @Kieron McCann

    "He's transformed Russia and greatly improved the standard of living of it's citizens by bringing stability and a (gradually) increasing distribution of wealth."

    Or in other words, he got lucky for a few years as the increasingly silly oil price papered over the gaping chasms in the Russian economy.

    "a careful balance of power" - meaning that his only objection to small countries being terrorized by a larger one is if the US is doing the bullying.

    Putin is a prick - now that the price of oil and metals is in the toilet, the Russian economy will fall apart, meaning that millions of citizens are about to pay the price for Pooty-poots obsession with playing Mighty Tsar when he should have been sorting out the plumbing. He might not be as dumb as W, but he's no better as a leader.

  48. James

    It's a beautiful thing

    An agitated amanfromMars in full flow.

  49. 4irw4y

    Homo Homini Lupus Est? Thanks, The Cage Is Yours Only

    I'd remind of an informal movement in Russia somewhere between 1988 and 1998, it was called "Don't Pay Taxies". The father-founders of this movement are to be "caught and persecuted" [W]. So, to "play by the rules offered by Harvard Project", those spooky men and women created a rapidly grown businesses. Fast money were used to balance the operating personalities at the Russian side of the field. Same ways of producing and increasing das Kapital as on the West, but a hundred more times faster. After a secluded surgeonary help to them from a few qualified specialists, West now just faces what it thinks it had created. Well, there were days I really thought Russians really surrendered West. I was too young to know... and ones there are too stupid to understand... or just scared to say this on public where their money invested in Russian "democracy/republic" are now and whom they are working for (-;

    So for ten tears the Russian officials had to run 15 to 50 % of planned tax collection from business, add low oil cost. These were the years of setting up an informal economy, probably the one that was mentioned by "agitated" amanfromMars @ 29 Jan 17:39.

    People of the state helped their families by themselves mutually (can you imagine a family which salary is not paid for six months, bringing a child and paying for the tube and electricity?), Almost any other "highly developed"country of a western way would cope up with the problem considering a scale of such a large and geographically wide-spread community; good people say it was WWII that made them behave themselves like relatives, not volves. United, they stand.

    It turned so that most of the largest businesses in Russia were made by crooks and their people's traitors of the same scale in a post-Soviet era. So nobody really gives a sht how they feel now.

    I think it will take a year or two for most economies to return to the previous point. And there are just another heavy three years for Russia to get same well, continuing to grow up the number of births. It'sa well-balanced country and I'm pretty sure that community - not communist - Russians will again cope up with the problems.

    Of course, with a good return, some new hardware would be useful... I say - new, Mr Dell.

  50. elderlybloke

    Mr Putin

    is accused of crimes by the paranoid Americans , with very little evidence.

    He has not been responsible for thousands of deaths (like in Iraq) like that alleged Christian Bush.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Not so paranoid...

    "is accused of crimes by the paranoid Americans , with very little evidence."

    And the "paranoid" Russians, other Europeans... everybody.

    Obviously Putin is no saint, and the term criminal would apply if he was not immune to such petty matters because of his huge power.


    "He has not been responsible for thousands of deaths (like in Iraq) like that alleged Christian Bush."

    You are right about Bush. But let's not ignore Chechnya (and in general all Russia and any place close enough, Putin's "invisble hand" reaches even to London), ok?

    And Putin is also Christian, as much as Bush (i.e. they pretend to be though they really don't care, except for the support by sect leaders and other self-proclaimed fanatics, as well as the pious self-alienating masses, that they gather that way).

    In brief: they are about the same crap. But while Putin actually exerts his power, Bush was never anything but a figurehead for the shadowy gang behind him. That's probably why many admire/fear Putin while nobody really has any real strong emotion (maybe pity, disgust, frustration - sympathy among his voters maybe - but never anything really strong) for Bush.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is he even qualified to be a politician?

    "He also put a final boot into Dell by talking about how Russian boffins were in fact rightly respected for their software rather than hardware".

    Must be nice to have a leader who knows the difference between software and hardware.

  53. Anonymous Coward

    it is moving to say this concern about democracy in Russia....

    .... and about Putin,

    as opposed by the faboulous democratic leaders who just follow american orders in that hotbed of democracy like, say, Georgia whose leader was sending police to beat opposition (*) some months before try to free South Ossetia

    (*) this was even reported in English media, who have the made of Russia bashing a pillar of their media strategy.

    ah, make a test by yourself, try to find how much is reported in western media that Ukraine stops Russian TV in Ukraine (there are vast area of ethnical Russian there) or the passport

    policy of Baltic states....

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