Microsoft Songsmith ad trumps Seinfeld shocker Those of you who are still recovering from exposure to Microsoft's Seinfeld advertising campaign are advised to look away now, because Redmond has pulled off the impossible and produced something worse - a "pseudoinfomercial" so profoundly traumatising it could "make you want to kill your family", as Gawker.com puts it: …
Well, if that wasn't an advertisement for mandatory sterilization upon birth, I don't know what is. Couldn't they have at least found people who could actually sing? At least something better than fingernails on a chalkboard?
I believe Metal Church put it best in "The Human Factor":
I just need a sample cause no one says it's wrong / It's so easy to rip-off using someone else's songs / Everybody wants to be a star in modern days / But if I don't have talent then I'll just get by this way
that Microsoft now advertises its products on what really looks like a Powerbook.
Other than that I can only agree that the advert is truly traumatising, and even though you quoted gawker "it could make you want to kill your family" I'm not sure this is a a strong enough warning. I feel that in this particular case caps would have been appropriate, as well as a disclaimer so that the Reg cannot be held responsible for whatever may result from watching the video.
Remember "the Last One"? Some sort of app generator circa early 80's, billed as the last program you will ever need to buy?
Or the game generators? Tools to let amateurs make their own video games? Circa 90's.
These things come, these things go, nobody really cares. Having watched the video, can you hum the tune the girl was singing?... You can't really be traumatised if you don't remember the tune. So quit whining if some kid wants to sing along to the sort of stock cord sequences you get on most modern electric organs.
♫♪ How does the accused plead today, speak clearly before the court ♫♪
♫♪ How can I be guilty m'Lord? My brain just had a short ♫♪
♫♪ For 16 days and 16 nights I hear the same old ditty ♫♪
♫♪ I could not work I could not sleep - please bestow on me your pity ♫♪
♫♪ I loved my wife with all my heart 'til SongSmith was installed ♫♪
♫♪ But now she's gone because of song; the court should be appalled! ♫♪
♫♪ Show mercy Sir, please let me be! Blame Redmond for this crime ... ♫♪
♫♪ Just stop right there, now hold your tongue; sing not another line ♫♪
♫♪ Case dismissed, you're not to blame it's Redmond who'll do time! ♫♪
I'm clearly alone in finding this a rather clever piece of software. It may be "the sort of stock cord sequences you get on most modern electric organs", but if I could hum a tune and expect the electric organ to harmonise, I'd be reasonably impressed. Of course, it's easy to take the tune from "An die ferne geliebte" and select an unsuitable backing to produce a 'funny' (peculiar or ha-ha, you choose) result, but that's no criticism.
Oh, and if you find the ad especially cheesy, you probably haven't been exposed to much US TV advertising (lucky you)! Flame-proof clothing, donned ...
Simon Cowell must be beside himself with worry over the future of his beloved industry. Mediocrity is no longer tightly controlled by music professionals, now ANYONE can Make Music.
According to the video you just sing your words and the software works out an appropriate accompanyment to fit your melody. Have they not noticed the modern tendancy in music is away from discernable tunefullness? This is doomed to failure.
They have dumbed down computer usage to such an extent that the average user has not a clue what their PC is doing behind the cartoon like interface. Dumbed down so much that accomplished retards and professional trolls have access to the Internet. This has resulted in newsgroups, forums and blogs being flooded by inane, childish, ignorant and often illiterate ramblings.
Now they do the same for music... wonderful, I can't wait.
Some things should be the exclusive domain of those with at least a modicum of skill, imagination, talent and intelligence. Normally I am one who would celebrate the removal of barriers, but it seems to me that this technology is just another step backward. It gives those who should never be seen, heard or allowed to have any influence on others, an avenue by which to irritate, annoy those with a discerning ear whilst encouraging the equally talentless.
From microsoft:
"We’ve partnered with one of the industry’s finest digital instrument producers – Garritan – and one of the leading developers of computer synthesizers – Plogue – to provide rich instrumentation for your song."
Who the fsck are Plogue and Garritan? Yes I have heard of them but they are hardly the finest digital instrument producers or leading developers of softsynths as MS would have you believe.
Why haven't Sony, Yamaha, Roland, Native Instruments, IK multimedia, Waves, Antares to name a few, partnered with Microsoft for this project? Could it be that established suppliers of professional kit see Songsmith as the gimmick that it really is?
I'll stick with Cuebase, softsynths, my guitar, my imagination and the somewhat limited talent I have thanks.
Brilliant! I think you have unintentionally come up with the new verb meaning "to envision or embody failure." Now if someone will be kind enough to come up with the pluperfect form, we'd be all set.
I know, we could use "songsmitten" but I think that is better a band name than a verb.
Gotta agree the software is clever, shame about the marketing. I guess the company that is used to being a monopoly doesn't have a clue when it comes to classy advertising. Reminds me of some of the old "Amiga" 500 commercials from the '80s (search YouTube, you'll find them)... they too were awful (and rare).
LOLOLOLOLOL Kinda reminds me of the south park episode "Guitar Queer-O", when Stan and Kyle become obsessed with Guitar Hero II. Stan's dad attempts to impress the kids by playing on a real guitar (nice representation of a Gibson Les Paul, gold Top with P90 pickups) and Cartman says, "Real guitars are for old people."
We've gone from "one click" computing to "one click" music making. The dumbing down is nearly complete, soon we won't need any ability to do anything.
Paris, the ultimate dumbing down
I think this is s'posed to be competition for GarageBand and for the music tutorials Apple added in the new version. So you don't have to learn anything from those hoity-toity big-name musicians. Instead, the computer plays your own genius composition, as we've seen in the "You! Tube!" video.
I can't wait to see what open-source project springs up to duplicate this thing on Linux. It'll probably have lots of techno sound accompaniment with creatures from some MUD to follow words across the screen.
You want cringeworthy? Try this ad that MS designed for internal use only, presumably (and wisely) not designed to see the wider light of day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPv8PPl7ANU
Brought to you by Bruce ServicePack and the Vista Street Band (it gets worse).
Featuring lyrics such as:
"See what's on employees' laptops
with AIS and MDOP"
and the chorus
"Vista,gotta get me some".
In more enlightened countries, people would be executed for this sort of thing.
Instead of "Microsoft Huh? so it's pretty easy to use" - shouldn't that have been:
Microsoft huh? so your machine is about to crash... "
And I am glad to hear Miles (red shirt man) has opened up and come out of the closet - I have to admit that despite being 'Dad' I had my suspicions at the beginning of the ad when I first saw him....
Other than that pretty nauseating Ad really.
Now I understand the article a while back about a drug that deadened hearing.
At first I thought it was silly - I mean, why not simply use earplugs - but what if one of those suckers fell out?
Jeeze, MS is in a death spiral for sure. Kind of like the GOP, but MS didn't wage an illegal war and crash the global economy in the process.
Wait - I see a new ad slogan....
"Microsoft - Hey, we still suck less than the GOP!"
Inspired by the Tarantino analysis of Top Gun, I see a deeper message here. This man comes home, with the problems of work and with his daughter singing instead of talking, releases the inner show tune, Broadway original cast recording gay in him. He then takes his laptop to a gaybar and when approached by a young female waitress and a young man he only talks to the young man thus showing he has now made his "choice" and picks up the gay young man who likes using PCs and MS products.
After his experience, he has coming out ceremony to his co-workers, where he talks, sorry, sings about how he was in the closet
"Well, I used to open up the closet door,
and struggle in the dark,
but now no more"
and now he is out, the dalliance with the young man was the glowing towels that showed him the light of the gay way and his co-workers applaud his courage to come out.
The end scene has him singing to his "wife". That they are now singing instead of talking means that he is now openly flamboyant and gay and his wife has accepted his sexuality.
How the young kids say it ? "Microsoft songsmith?, that is so gay."
AaaaaaRrrghh.. aaarrrrghh... stop! please no more... NOOOO!... I'll buy windows 7... I'LL BUY WINDOWS 7 JUST MAKE IT STOP PLEEEEEEEEESE!!!!!
And what a hunk of crap too! Only Microsoft could take something as inherently fun and graphically cutting edge as music software and make it look like an f*****g excel spreadsheet!
I mean what is this supposed to be their Garage Band beater? In who's universe? Do they think this will somehow make Windows cool? That kids will turn the 'happy' up to 11 and buy a zune so they can export their "songs" to it?
Idiots, this is an even stupider idea than "Windows Dancer", is it any wonder the cool kids insist on Apples???
I just watched the YouTube Microsoft internal video you gave a link for. I've now watched both videos and I can't see anything wrong with either of them.
I have just killed my family.
I have just killed my neighbour and his family.
I am going to kill everyone in my neighbourhood.
Please make the voices stop!
I wonder - what's in the small print... who owns the rights to a Songsmith composition? I wonder what will happen when someone attempts to release a commercial album made with it (oh dear me).
By the way, that advert when I first saw it a couple of weeks ago really got on my nerves, no, _really_.
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