back to article Robot 'Spider-man' casts net to nab burglars

If we brought you news of a new web robot then you’d probably think we meant a some form of online android, right? But a Japanese firm’s developed the mechanical equivalent of Spider-man. The T-34 is a four-wheeled security droid that fires a net at anyone who breaks into its patrol zone. The Spider-man style weapon envelops …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    And it's ringtone must be

    "spiderman,spiderman..."

    I'll just get my coat then....

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Presumably

    This system is dependant on the burglars willingness to cooperate by rolling around on the floor like the guy in the picture rather then standing up and legging it with the expensive robot.

  3. Lloyd
    Thumb Down

    Um

    couldn't you just like turn it over onto it's back like a tortoise? Or chuck it out of the window? Or stamp on it?

  4. Paul Murphy

    Not quite like the original T-34 then.

    The Russian WW2 tank:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-34

    Which is probably for the best.

    It's also for the best that it wasn't developed in the USA as well, otherwise the net would probably electrocute the prisoner and automatically water-board them whilst taking pictures to post on the intertubes as well.

    ttfn

  5. Ben Mathews

    Damn title required....

    That looks about as effective as trying to catch a tiger with a sheet of kleenex.

  6. Simon Ball
    Thumb Down

    @AC

    Isn't that a paradox? Surely a security robot sufficiently ineffective to be vulnerable to theft while in actual operation wouldn't be worth stealing? Who would buy a security robot that can't even protect itself?

  7. 4a$$Monkey
    Black Helicopters

    ROTM?

    Where is the ROTM flag?

    How are we supposed to keep track of the fearsome escalation in arms bringing us closer and closer to cybergedon?

    Has the Reg been taken over by the machines?

    Ahhhhhhhhhh

  8. Brad
    Thumb Down

    Fail

    The fake perp in the video was trying so hard to look like he was subdued.

  9. Cameron Colley

    @Lloyd

    The T-34 lays on its back, its underside baking in the hot room, turning its wheels trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    How long...

    Until someone steals one of these robots?

    In fact, it'll probably the most expensive piece of kit in a lot of offices!

    I'm fairly confident I could outwit one of these things with nothing but a halloween mask, a stick and a paid of Nikes.

  11. James
    Pirate

    That's like the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

    who doesn't carry a knife?

    and really, can't you just pick up the net and sling it over your back and keep stealing?

    and doesn't that net make a handy binding for all your booty?

    and it doesn't lash you to the machine?

    and who isn't going to destroy that machine once they get netted?

  12. Elmer Phud

    re: presumably

    It also helps if your ne-er do well waits patiently for the net to work.

  13. Damn Yank

    Looks a bit like Cato..

    Doesn't it??

    http://dryden.eastmanhouse.org/media/returnpink.jpg

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All I can say about this

    Is I watched the video and I lold.. Oh yes, yes I did. Cos really this thing is a joke in every conceivable way. Though I like the part where the fake perp was attempting to make it look as though the net was effective. Not an oscar winning performance though.

  15. Busted
    Happy

    Nice is this a new Burgular Aid!!

    So it fires a net that could be used carry all the kit you've just nabbed looks big too so you should be able to get a fair bit in there.

  16. Phil
    Flame

    Useless

    Totally useless, and very sub-par from these folk.

    Now if it turned into a truck, or you can assemble 4-5 of them together form a super-robot... that would be acceptable.

    Does it even scream HADOKEN when it fires the net? No, it does not. Weak.

    Of course, the real point is to point out just how stupid and useless this is. Anyone read Dragonlance? Remember the Tinker Gnomes? They had a crossbow that did this. It was really dumb too.

  17. Eugene Goodrich
    Go

    Lightening?

    [[ the T-34 can move at lightening speeds of up to 6mph]]

    Were robots that moved faster having trouble with the increased effective mass as they approached the speed of light? So, this robot remains near its normal mass by not going above 6mph?

    Or did the author, perhaps, mean "lightning", as in the bolt of electricity that flicks between sky and ground quicker than a blink?

    Seriously, though, I want to see two of these robots fight it out in the cage.

  18. Pierre

    Erm, equip flail?

    From the vid: time needed to get rid of the net (without any tool):~2 seconds. And the guy is not even trying hard. It might work against dogs though. If it wasn't so damn slow.

    So we have a burglar-catching bot which relies on :

    -the burglar sitting in front of the robot, at 2-3 m, without moving, for a few seconds

    -the burglar not trying to get rid of the net

    -the burglar, admittedly too startled to think of getting rid of the net, not wanting to take off, pulling the robot with him (seriously, how heavy can that thing possibly be? 20 kg, max? And the shitty wheels seem to provide very little adherence).

    I don't see this thing catching any burglar anytime soon.

  19. R Callan
    Dead Vulture

    Can't see the video?

    Instead of recommending getting Adobe Flash how about "Disable NoScript for reghardware.co.uk?

    Works wonders.

  20. Roger Heathcote

    Hahaaaaa...

    That's sooooo lame!

  21. Sonya Fox

    @4a$$Monkey

    Seriously. You can't be afraid of that thing, can you? Its about as dangerous as a garden gnome. Something like this could only come from the country that brought us Hello Kitty and used panty vending machines.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Not exactly...

    ED209 now is it?

    "You have 10 seconds to comply"

  23. Matt
    Coat

    Already done

    I saw something very similar on a documentary once, only they used the brain of an almost dead bloke and they gave the robot guns instead of lame nets. Very worrying.

    oh, wait... maybe that was robocop.

  24. JC
    Gates Horns

    @Can't see the video

    Why would we disable what we've deliberately enabled? All it takes is to click on the video, no disabling for the whole site is required.

    This robot is just the beginning. Won't be long till our overlords equip them with taser darts too, should be a fairly trivial retrofit. The next logical step is installing windows, so nobody's to blame when they go berserk.

  25. Mr Grumblefish

    It's Japanese

    and the Japanese are interested in two things - robots and kinky sex.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

    Bukkakebot

    You know it's the only explanation that makes sense.

  26. Mike Gravgaard

    Multiple webs?

    It would be good if it shot multiple webs... imagine if it shot the first web and kept shooting until the burglar was subdued? I like the idea of this robot but in reality it is quite worthless.

    6mph it's too bad when you think about it (if the burglar is moving his new found bounty, he might be a little stunned by a robot shooting multiple webs and moving quite quietly (I didn't have sound on this PC so I didn't hear the videos - just watched it).

    Also it would be good if it stunned the person first - I imagine either very bright light (flash grenade style) or stun gun (tazer style weapon).

    The video was comical though.

    I must admit though a lot of security guards I have come across don't seem to be the most physical fit so I doubt they would be any better than this robot if confronted.

    Mike

  27. Andus McCoatover
    Coat

    This idea...

    ...will probably be flushed down the bath plughole.

  28. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    Why bother with the robot?

    Stick one of the net-guns (if they're any good) near likely entrance/exit points. Cheaper, and fixed units could use heavier gauge mesh. No need for the expensive & potentially unreliable robotics. Or, sticking with the spiderman theme, just stick the robots to the ceilings and let them fall on the intruder. A 20kg thwack should slow them down...

  29. Simon B
    Heart

    and if it misses?

    "Excuse me sir, I appear to have missed, can I have my net back please?!" -STOMP! STOMP! CRUNCH!-

  30. Ed

    Mmmmmm ED-209

    Mmmmmm ED-209

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