I can see this becoming
the most commented on article ever to grace the pages of El Reg
I for one welcome our windfarm turbine destroying overlords..........
UFO wind turbine prang site: Exclusive photos
The recent Conisholme wind farm incident - in which one turbine shed a blade in highly mysterious circumstances - provoked a level of black helicopter activity not seen since NASA faked the 1969 Moon landing, with many suggesting extraterrestrial involvement. Well, we at El Reg have spent some time analysing a satellite image …
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Monday 19th January 2009 13:11 GMT Rob
Too many assumptions
First off your comments about the cows, have you asked Anni-Frid and Agnetha whther the next stage of their research will involve getting the cows on some marching powder. Would make for a good news story title the most obvious being "bovians on bolivian".
The Sun photographer certainly wouldn't be at the security cordon when their is an Australian humping an inflatible doll.
The dog handler wouldn't be having a chat with the other parties the dog would be doing the chatting and they'd all be running.
As for the unknown alloys, I think you'll find they are self tapping screws for wood/plasterboard and alike.
Mine's the one filled with plastic toys of a playmobil variety.
(P.S. quality mock-up by the way, how much playmobil does El-Reg have in the office?)
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Monday 19th January 2009 13:12 GMT Chris Simmons
At last
proof that UFOs do not exist and we are being bothered bothersomely by lots of human aliens from outside our borders.
I cannot tell you how much your superior investigative journalism has astounded and amazed me, while making me laugh so much I added to global warming.
Keep up the good work.
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Monday 19th January 2009 13:12 GMT Anonymous Coward
A quick check...
...of skin tones, highlights, smoothing artifacts, and shadows, suggests that these photos may have been photoshopped.
All very funny, but i suspect all it serves to do is distract the simple minded from the actual cause - testing of the LHC, some 18 months from now, will/has cause(d) ripples throughout space-time that displaced several objects throughout history. Flight 19, the gunman on the grassy knoll, Pete Best - improbable and inexplicable disappearances that all were/are/will be symptoms of this time ripple.
In this particular case the turbine was destroyed when the space it occupied was intruded upon by an instantaneously transported UFO that had, until then, been cruising the American mid-west eviscerating cattle and probing startled farmhands... as well as the odd cashed up businessmen of particular and peculiar tastes.
Pete Best is best... he just isnt in this plane of existence anymore.
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Monday 19th January 2009 13:12 GMT Paul Murphy
Another epic tale.
Glad to see the creative juices still working there.
Could it be that the light aircraft from the business man may have hit the blades?
Or maybe some of the 5-year olds mates were playing chicken and dariing each other to stop the blades with some non-vital organ such as their heads?
Of course it COULD have been a US spy satellite flying a little low to get a better picture of something, but the controllers got mixed up between the metric and imperial systems and hit the blades at orbital velocities instead.
Just saying is all....
Or maybe that rather large balloon that NASA uses to hold stuff up in the air for a long time came down?
<how long is my lunch break??>
OR maybe some of that large HP packaging box got caught in a gust of wind ...
Or maybe it was just an un-balanced rotor that shook itself to bits.
ttfn
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Monday 19th January 2009 13:12 GMT xyz
Thank God that's solved then!
Having followed this on abovetopsecret.com (I think the thread is 27 pages long now), I'm glad to see that some proper reporting of the incident hasfinally been carried out by El Reg.
Clears the whole thing up for me.
Paris, 'cos I understand her favourite position is the "black helicopter."
neebl, neebl ("Welcome glorious reptilan overlords & pity about the landing" in Planet X-ian)
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Monday 19th January 2009 13:12 GMT Anonymous Coward
You missed the SEP
Can't you see the SEP field? Clearly evidence of alien technology, using the 'Somebody Else's Problem' field in an attempt to make themselves invisible.
Can't you see it? It's right there.
OK, it might just be your standard farmer's field, but I'm sticking with my theory.
Where's the Douglas Adams icon?
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Monday 19th January 2009 13:46 GMT amanfromMars
Area 51 meets Space 42? ...... AIdDNA thing in Stealthy PGP2* Disguise.
"Watch this space... ® "
Crikey, Lester, you have me Spellbound and IT has certainly captured my Imagination. Whatever next in this space?
Don't tell me, a Special Forces team to the Novel Terrain to Short Circuit the Con, Trolling Power Fields and Currency Supply? And just in the Nick of Time too, considering the damage done and the right hash that can be made with UFOffologies.
* Pretty Good Privacy PerlyGatesPython ....... which pays Homage to Ruby on Rails and off on AITrails for a Walk and a Park on the Wild Side of Life and ITs Sinful Partnership with Viceless Love. .......... for a QuITe Perfectly Improbable Perpetual Energy Drive*. :-)
* Which to Add to Darling Prudence Woes, is Currently Challenging the Tweedledum and Tweedledee of the UKs Outrageous Misfortune to release some of the Newly Invented Quantitively Eased Flash Cash for AI Test Run, rather than wasting it as always with sad and maddening promises that it is available, but never being able or enabled to delivering the Goods to Energy Source for ITs Sorcery.
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Monday 19th January 2009 15:04 GMT Tim
Excellent stuff
I can see some of these pictures being photoshopped & blurred then appearing on various ufo/conspiracy websites shortly.
Oh, those are chipboard screws, clearly the aliens are looking for a fresh supplier of cheap furniture following MFI going bust. Just stick a sign to the nearest Homebase on a 200' pole & they'll cease bothering us.
Tim#3
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Monday 19th January 2009 15:29 GMT Alan W. Rateliff, II
Giving boobs to Lego women
Absolutely brilliant work. I would like to make a comment like "you guys do not have enough to do," or "must have been a slow news day," but here I am reading the article, comments, and then commenting myself.
I am a tad disappointed about the obvious lack of Optimus Prime (mentioned above,) as well as a Tazering incident. But, I suppose I simply cannot have everything.
I also have to say that I like the Playmobil sets. Finally, Lego women have the breasts they deserve. Now to see if the Lego men get the bulges the women want so desperately - in the wallet area.
Paris, wanting the bulges, showing that women can have boobs, be boobs, or both.
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Tuesday 20th January 2009 10:17 GMT Andus McCoatover
@Chris W.
<<Wake up you lot, you're congratulating a grown man for playing with plastic fucking dolls>>
Well, couple of the dolls were fuc*king. And made of plasic, so ner-ner-ne-ner-ner.
And if I was Lester, I'd be pissed off someone called me "grown up". Sheesh, Chris, get a life! Thar's fun out there when you don't take things *too* seriously. Bloody UNIX admins.
Personally I can't wait for to see what BOFH comes up with on, ahem, 'the-day-after-Thursday' (Blasted Moderatrix, I had to use all my intelligence to get that past her. I'm not even merkan!)
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Tuesday 20th January 2009 14:35 GMT Anonymous Coward
It's the Roswell for the UK
As soon as I read about this in ehem..... The Sun newspaper, it took me approx 5 seconds to realise that it was one of those coverup thingies.
Wind turbine disintegrates due to stress, look on youtube for "wind turbine explosion" and the company selling things decides to say it was circumstances unknown in order to prevent the whole anti-windfarm snobs from kicking up a storm.
IT DIDN'T BLOW UP SOMETHING HIT IT! - HONEST!
That's what they are saying, the missing blade is in some blokes shed somewhere.
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Tuesday 20th January 2009 16:26 GMT Jeff Rowse
@Chris W
Oh dear, suddenly discover Captain Darling has raided your wallet (or pension fund, or ISA, or whatever) to bail out his chums in the banking industry again? Or are you actually a w^H Banker who hasn't been blessed with our caring, sharing Chancellor of the Huge Cheque-r's largesse?
Either way, there's more than enough misery going around at the moment. Stop raining on everyone else's parade please. I'd rather congratulate a grown man for playing with plastic figures but making a few people chuckle than look a fool for reading all the comments before posting a comment insulting everyone (else) who's read them...
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Wednesday 21st January 2009 10:45 GMT W
6: Fugitive US businessman
...looks suspiciously like a certain Ms Bee (complete with dodgy knock-off Sun Microsystems logo top).
See http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/16/moderatrix_boudoir/
A twin, perhaps? Note that the Jungle Jane botherer looks like he's from the same clan too. We demand answers!
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Wednesday 21st January 2009 12:03 GMT Andus McCoatover
@ W. Wrong way round?
(http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/16/moderatrix_boudoir/)
Hard (snick) to tell, but as Moderatrix wants to be anonymous, I'd think that was her on the bed.
Waiting for a bit 'o' Doggie-style. Doggie seems "up for it", and if not, he's got Prince Harry to administer a nasty smack with his rod/stick/whatever
(Blast these low-definition eeepc 701 screens. Really get your imagination going)
Correction - when later viewed on a decent quality Amstrad VGA monitor, I realise I was mistaken by the doggie's rear offside leg. Maybe not, after all, quite so "up for it".
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
