They need some brilliant ideas, not a new chairman
I'd offer my services but I'm busy, however, one of the ideas is "Don't sell hdmi cables for a hundred quid, when tescos does them for 20, because it makes you look like currants."
Fraught UK electrical retailer DSG International (DSGi) has appointed John Allan as the company’s new chairman. He will succeed John Collins who announced he was hanging up his DSGi boots last June. Allan will be handed the keys to the chairman’s door when Collins retires on 2 September. Allan is the former boss of logistics …
1. Blame the old guy
2. Discover some new data which shows the company is in a far worse position than thought
3. Blame the old guy and appoint a new CEO (someone of your own choice)
4. Announce a "Strategic Review"
5. Wait 9 months while Strategic Review is undertaken by Bain & Co, or McKinsey et. al.
6. After 9 months, spend 3 months discussing the findings
7. Hope the worst of the recession has past and implement recommendations (i.e. consolidation of Currys and PC World outlets, staff redundancies etc.) over a 6 month period
9. After these 18 months, hopefully the economy will be on an upward curve
Of course, this assumes there is enough liquidity and the banks are willing to underwrite DSG's purchases. If not, it'll be a short tenure.
Allan acknowledged that DSGi has been having a rough ride, although he prefers to see his appointment as an opportunity. “I am delighted to be joining DSG international at this important time in its development,” he said. “The Group has many challenges as well as significant opportunities under the Renewal and Transformation plan.
"I am looking forward to renewing my involvement in retail and being part of the business as it continues to execute this plan and improve its offering for customers.”
TRANSLATION:
"You should see the size of the golden hello, salary, potential bonuses and the massive payout I'm due, even if everything goes down the toilet becuase it can't be my fault if something takes DSG out of the market, my predecessor will get all the blame"
Twice I worked for DSG (as it was). First in the shops when I was told by a 'Regional Manager' that the stockroom is 'full of boxes and it's our job to shift them' which probably explains why most staff know cock about what they're selling, and secondly as a projects manager at their Customer Contact Centre (ooh, no. definitely NOT a call centre) where I was made reduntant because, despite cutting a HUGE profit, it wasn't as much as the anal-ysts had TOLD DSG they would DEFINITELY get!! And the CEO? He awarded himself a performance bonus that would have kept me in a job for the best part of 10 years.
I feel sorry for the staff who are about to lose their jobs, I can sympathise with them, but the sooner that cr4ppy, box-shifting excuse of a 'quality retailer' slouches forlornely of the surface of this once-proud land the f*cking better!
<\rant> ...and, breathe..