back to article Internet to Obama: 'Pass the joint'

President-elect Barack Obama has promised change. And there's one change that internet-happy Americans want more than another other. In an age of crippling recession, skyrocketing unemployment, and a looming threat environmental armageddon, their primary request is this: Pass the joint, yo Obama's site will close …


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  1. Joe K


    The "LOLcat tzar" idea must be pursued.

    At the VERY least, can we dedicate the Emergency Broadcast System to displaying icanhascheezburger photos until our difficult times are over.

    America, no... the world, needs those cats right now.

  2. Robert E A Harvey
    Paris Hilton

    No 10

    Our own dear No 10 petition site is interesting as a playground for single issue nutmungers.

    The issue that got the most votes by far was the one about not banning the red arrows from the London Olympics. Before it had been up a week the government added a disclaimer that the whole thing was untrue and no such decision had been made. It went on to accumuate another 700,000 votes after that, suggesting that over half a million people do not believe the government even when it tells the truth.

    Next higest voterush was the one about road charging, and the vhemence and rate of voting did get noticed and the policy submerged for a bit (it will, of course, come back disguised as a green policy or for national security)

    Paris. Cos she knows what most people think about most of the time.

  3. Aram

    Far out, man

    I, for one, like, welcome our new, like, overlords, man.

    This really is good sheee, ain't it?

  4. Eddy Ito
    Paris Hilton

    pot mob?

    When it comes to mob rule with regard to medical marijuana, they probably have it right. It's likely to be far better than the current set up where a minority of nosey nanny prohibitionists get their way.

    Paris because even she knows prohibition didn't work with booze and it isn't working with pot.

  5. jake Silver badge

    I'd be curious to see ...

    ... what the pattern of IP addresses for the pro-pot group looks like when compared to the rest of the top 10 "ideas" ... I'm not a pot smoker[1], but I have no issues with it ... ESPECIALLY if a trained medical professional suggests that it'll be helpful to the chronically ill. Stoners I view the same as alcoholics[2] and cigarette smokers[3]; if they want to ruin their lives, who am I to stop them? Just don't breathe on me, and PLEASE stay away from mechanical devices when imbibing[4].

    [1]I tried pot back in the late '70s. All it did is put me to sleep, so I see no point ... I can cat-nap any time I like, (usually watching something large init, or between rounds at drag races), no chemicals needed.

    [2] I drank my fair share in my 20s ... These days a beer or two or glass of wine is my limit.

    [3] I smoked for 14 years, been free of the habit for nearly two decades now. I'm allowed to gag when I smell tobacco smoke ... Or worse, stale smoke on somebody's clothes.

    [4] If talking on a cell phone impairs driving, surely fiddling with a pack of fags and a lighter/matches impairs driving?

  6. Adam Williamson


    "Still, I can't help but wonder how much the list was gamed by various internet groups."

    Hey, it makes a change from being gamed by lobby groups, at least.

  7. Heff

    oh, Please

    The suggestion box is another tool like uk.govs petition site;The concept that anyone reads it and takes these suggestions seriously is utter horseshit. 95% liklihood it was some smartarse civil service idea;

    "Good grief Jones, how can we get these bloody daily-mailers to stop writing us all their inane drivel on how we should run our government?"

    "set up a website, sir."

    The second godawful conceit of the idea is that joe-sixpack (fnar, fnar) has something to contribute that the amassed political machinrcouldnt have come up with. In the unlikely circumstances that the government has an idea its going to push ahead with anyway, it'd do its PR good to dig through the suggestion box and blame any consequences directly at the public feet : yes, we did ignore your cries for legalising pot and abiding by your miranda rights, but apparently 4 people in nebraska thought jesus handpuppets teaching sex-ed was a good idea, so here you go.... for the UK, its more sort of a "you wanted green energy and no nuclear plants, here are several thousand humming wind turbines."

    Honestly, its no real surprise from a country that still en masse prays that an invisible person in the sky to answer their prayers that they've started writing ones online to put in a little virtual box, in the hope that another invisible person in washington will grant their wish.

    Highly technical content sticker, because apparently 95% of americans fail and understanding their importance in a democracy.

  8. Richard

    All good

    The top 5 are all good suggestions that would greatly improve the US for its citizens. Maybe this "Web 2.0" thing works after all?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Properly implemented the internet could be used as an excellent tool for proportional representation.

    Unfortunately with regards to marijuana, no matter how many people campaigning for it's legalisation it will never happen, the government has spent too much time and money and political status to suddenly do a U turn and say, actually we were wrong all along and weed isn't that bad, sorry.

    Democracy my fat hairy ass.

  10. Arnie
    Paris Hilton

    Are you listening Jacqui

    they obviously don't have "killer Skunk" in america

    paris cause even she knows jacqui smith is a twat

  11. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    And the point of this "article" is?

    That is all.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I Suspect That They can Thank Daily Kos

    DKos has that as a major plank in their platform, and they are pretty well-known for orchestrating e-ballot-box-stuffing, which is one reason why pols like to court them. They are a pretty intense and hardworking crowd

    of nutters.

    For me? <shrug/> I think it should be legalized, but I don't use it myself, which really upsets them, for some reason.

    I believe that the issue is one of principal interest to relatively affluent white folks with computers. We'll see how long the affluence lasts in this environment if pot is involved. It has a tendency to...reduce...ambition and drive, which is one reason I don't use it any more, or suffer its effect on my employees. They are free to smoke up a storm, if they wish, but they'd darn well better not let it affect the quality of their work.

    Paris, because she's the press' other favorite red herring.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Planes, Trains, Automobiles, and Government Law Officials

    article -- "I think that the one issue keeping many people from using trains to travel to and from other cities is that they are too slow," the submitter writes. That — or maybe a fear of getting shot

    Perhaps you should have noted, fear of other riders beating up other riders. Perhaps you should have noted, fear of hundreds of riders assaulting others. This man who was shot was pulled from the train with others for fighting on the train. The sound of the video clearly shows an extended period of time where it sounded like a riot was going on. People are innocent until proven guilty in the country which this event occurred in, this includes the police officer involved.

    As long as small numbers of people terrorize civilian population, events like this will happen. As long as large numbers of people riot against law enforcement, events like this will happen.

    On the other hand... very often, people who seek positions of authority in government do so out of a desire to wield power over other people which they feel inferior to. Other times, it is out of obligation to a higher cause, a higher authority - God is a God of order and Government was ordained by God in order to maintain order (for all of His Creation) just as Ecclesiastical Authority through the Church was ordained by God to direct order of Worship.

    As long as the government can be seen by people as a place to wield their authority and not a place where they can serve an authority higher than themselves to keep the peace and protect civilians - situations like this will always happen.

  14. Anonymous Coward


    Reading some of the postings, it seems that the new president should look at education before giving them legalised cannabis. Although, on the other hand having a bunch of stoners might actually make the suggestions at least understandable... Free Mars Bars and Bic Macs etc etc

  15. Suburban Inmate

    If you've never smoked MJ... Read this!

    It turns one's thoughts inward. One enters a thoughtful, creative, deeply peaceful state. Imagine if people were to consider the state of this fucked up planet while under the influence of such a contemplative substance... Yeah, that's right, ideas about democracy!

    OK that's a gross oversimplification. So go and smoke some (or have a cupcake / cookie) and see for yourself. It alters your mind, hence the title "mind altering substance" If you don't want to then (save for the really really rare medical reasons) you are a prat. Please don't vote. Seriously, if you don't have the balls (or female equivalent) to try MJ then just take the life you're given.

    I'm drunk while writing this, oh the irony!... It's a question of availability, just ask Doug Stanhope. Yeah, go on, google him. I dare ya!

  16. Mr Grumblefish

    Only in America

    Would you get such a bunch of stupid half-wit . . .

    Oh shit.

  17. Stewart Haywood

    To sum up

    We want drugs, sex, fast trains and no electricity. The first two I get, but what happened to fast cars and rock and roll ?

  18. J

    All of them good

    I think the top 5 are quite good, even if unrealistic to expect. I haven't visited the site to know if I'd consider them the best overall, but anyway... And I don't even do recreational drugs (but for the occasional alcoholic drink).

  19. Elrond Hubbard


    I want pot legalized, not so I can smoke pot - which I can anyway; but because I don't want to go to jail and be anally violated just because I engage in a fairly innocent pasttime. There is no reason why the government should have any say in what I smoke while I'm watching TV and eating a bag of crisps.

    Driving a car is a different matter, but people drive intoxicated on any substance, and they need to be punished for that - driving intoxicated - and not for driving intoxicated on any one substance.

    For crying out loud, I can sit around huffing glue all day and the government wouldn't do a damn thing.

  20. Anonymous Coward

    Good Grief!

    Wars are being fought abroad with thousands being killed at the instigation of the US, millions starving in the third world, and the number one request?

    #1 "Please numb *my* pain! Alcohol doesn't blot out enough of my miserable existance!"

    #2 Please shorten my commute

    #3 Teaching under-age children not to be promiscuous is embarrassing me. Make it stop!

    Let's hope it receives the attention it deserves!

  21. jon
    IT Angle

    @Suburban Inmate

    Your logic is so flawed you should perhaps stop with the mind altering substances.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Working while stoned...

    I've never smoked pot - or tobacco, for that matter - but I respect the right of people to do it in any way they like that doesn't affect *my* right to breathe clean air.

    As for working while stoned, surely if MJ was legalised that should just be treated like being drunk at work?

  23. F Seiler

    political process

    "Still, I can't help but wonder how much the list was gamed by various internet groups."

    Any such process is invariably influenced by how much effort the various interest groups put into.

    The voicing not depending too much on money has to be welcome, the internet here is certainly a Good Thing.

    But OTOH it's equally important that each participating person has only one vote, which is probably not trivial to implement on the internet - even more so if the decision that person makes is to be decoupled from the identification required to guarantee "one-vote-per-person". Without having seen this particular platform, i assume it doesn't do this properly. Consequently it were wrong to take the outcome too serious if the setup is already severly flawed.

  24. Anonymous Coward

    Give the people what they want

    ...or simply give them number 1 on their list and they'll forget about the rest!

    ...mines the one with the Rizla in the pocket.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    the americans vs. the power lobbies

    so if Obama implemented the top 5 policy requests he would make himself enemy number one of the most powerful lobbies of the USA: the pharma-lobby, the oil-lobby, the car-industry-lobby, the "christian"-lobby and the mafia...

    It's not very likely he will want to do that, or is it?!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I have seen the postings on the Pot Advocacy boards, and met some of the boosters here in The People's Republic of California, like Ed Rosenthal, & his fans. I pity the folks that had to read through the suggestions from that lot. I myself believe the fiscally prudent thing is to legalise everything, with some restrictions on inflicting one's stupidity on the public whilst under the influenza. Not one of the viable suggestions, I reckon.

  27. jake Silver badge

    @Suburban Inmate (on smoking pot)

    "It turns one's thoughts inward. One enters a thoughtful, creative, deeply peaceful state."

    You mean you get stoned, feel all creative and shit ... and yet somehow don't ever get anything accomplished. Whatever. Enjoy your bliss.

    "I'm drunk while writing this, oh the irony!"

    That word irony, I don't think it means what you think(?) it means ...

  28. al
    Thumb Up

    @Stewart Haywood @ 6:34 GMT


    No electricity -> flintstones mobile -> rock and roll!

  29. Rob

    Just for the record

    Before anyone else disses the green for being unhealthy,someone should point out the fact that now it's the year 200x there are far better methods of consumption than the archaic and retarded fire routine, for example the volcano digit has me enjoying my ethnobotanicals with fresh lungs a nice taste in my mouth and an unparallelled clear high ( oh yes) You don't know what you're missing! do your research before you all spout off the same crap the government told you, check out the maps/ norml study on the volcano, and whatever you do, please don't open your mind a bit, you might end up thinking for yourself, seriously, these things have been around for years, but everyone thnks you still SMOKE the stuff?? Get real! how stupid do you think people are? Check out the iinhale too, we're probably vaping on the bus right in front of your face and you haven't a clue, har harhar!!!!! XD

  30. AC


    I see the US is still full of total morons

    "4) the request America "Commit to becoming the 'greenest' country in the world.""

    kind of takes away the reliability and usefulness of the results when you put forward pathetic ideas like that.

  31. Rob


    ah isn't falling back on sterotypes great, it's not the kind of thing we need to move away from at all,

    after a couple of bags of nice vapes, there's nothing I wanna do more than get downstairs and get beastin on my drums, I get an awful lot done while being awfully high, the main reason smokers can't be arsed is the carbon monoxide poisoning, actuallay!! :-P

    Also, I get a lot more done than any of my [straight] colleagues at work, figure that one out,

  32. Anonymous Coward


    ...if American citizens can apparently be so sensible (well, the 'net savvy one at any rate) it their country still grossly, and hypocritically puritanical; a war-monger; sponsor of terrorism; supporter of despotic states; refusing to acknowledge international law; not a full signatory to the Geneva convention; and generally being a total shit on the world stage?

  33. Rob


    Erm, maybe because the actions of a government very very rarely reflect the views of the people, do YOU agree with everything(or ANYTHING?) our government do?

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    "...if American citizens can apparently be so sensible (well, the 'net savvy one at any rate) it their country still grossly, and hypocritically puritanical; a war-monger; sponsor of terrorism; supporter of despotic states; refusing to acknowledge international law; not a full signatory to the Geneva convention; and generally being a total shit on the world stage?"

    --- NUHHH!!

    The people aren't in charge, the government are!!

  35. Lionel Baden

    i mean like

    who cares anyway man

    *need mj leaf icon

  36. Mike Groombridge

    @Suburban Inmate

    been there done that and with the fell asleep group knew lots of users during My uni days (3 years ago) and still know 4 or 5 users (and a couple of growers) and they only use at the weekend as they know it means they get fuck all done while stoned so leave it for when they have nothing to do. those who are now married or have kids have now stopped cause they can't aford to be out of it on the sofa while they kids kill themselves.

    i have no trouble with the use but i think the arguement that it's better then achohol is invalid as is the if your not willing to try it you don't get a say argument.

    i've seen stoned people act just as stupidly and violent stoned as i have people have when people are drunk. and i don't need to go and jump off a cliff to know it's dangrous.

    at best you could argue that it's treated like achohol sold to over 18's only and taxed in the same way then let's watch every one stop using it and move to the harder stuff when the legal pot costs 3 times the amount.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Mike

    Just because you have seen people act violently when stoned does not mean that being stoned caused them to be violent, they were just violent people, they're just idiots, they'd potentially be violent if they were drinking, smoking, vaping, dancing, at a pantomime or on a cruise ship,

    go and drink as much as you can, see how much you reckon you were in control when reflecting the next day, now do the same with cannabis, they're not even worlds apart, they're different dimensions

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    if the government REALLY cared, why not legalise growing it, but keep it illegal to sell or buy, that way if you want it, grow it, and use it yourself, no industry, no pushing, no children with it, no money to terrorists, guaranteed quality etc etc,

  39. Anonymous Coward

    Can't Resist

    >> Also, I get a lot more done than any of my [straight] colleagues at work, figure that one out,

    Depends on the work. Being brain-dead is actually an asset in some jobs (like being a politician).

  40. Rob


    I mostly develop spreadsheets and databases, /some/ of my colleagues still don't know how to highlight a row in excel (or work our a percentage, ?!?!?! no, i'm not exagerrating), I think they're the brain-dead ones to be honest, coincidentally, they're the ones who just go home and watch TV, have no real interests, you know, the general public kind

    Simply because I choose to relax with a natural plant consumed via what I have researched and learnt to be a safe and effective method, rather than a man made (liver/brain cell destroying) drink sold to line the governments pockets and keep you in the first circuit, doesn't make me the idiot, far from it

  41. DZ-Jay

    I'm with Joe K

    I think the LOLcat tzar idea should be considered. Perhaps it should be called "Ceiling Cat Seckertry", or "Deparmen uhf Cheezburgrz".

    LOLcats posters and banners should decorate all guvment offices, and yes, the Emergency Broadcasting System should show shots from icanhascheezburger to keep us calm during an emergency.


  42. Rob
    Paris Hilton


    Admittedly I should heed the joke alert in future; and check my spelling

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Mike Groombridge

    If legal pot costs 3x the price then the black market will thrive. So theres no point in taxing it to this point. Something that costs ~$10 an oz to grow and currently sells for >$200 is not likely to be 3x its current price ($600 per oz?). The price when the distribution chain is cut in half (more likely more) will be less.

    Nothing will happen, the lobby groups got him in. The candidate with the most funding won.

    Where do his loyalties lie? With the sheeple that voted him in or the people that paid for the campaign?

  44. jake Silver badge


    "ah isn't falling back on sterotypes great, it's not the kind of thing we need to move away from at all,

    after a couple of bags of nice vapes, there's nothing I wanna do more than get downstairs and get beastin on my drums, I get an awful lot done while being awfully high, the main reason smokers can't be arsed is the carbon monoxide poisoning, actuallay!! :-P

    Also, I get a lot more done than any of my [straight] colleagues at work, figure that one out,"

    Uh-huh. Sure. Combine the above with your posts of 19th January 2009 09:51 GMT and 19th January 2009 15:24 GMT, and I'm certain you have a wonderful job.

    Illiterate fuckwit. Stop getting stoned and get a real life. I suggest starting with an education.

  45. Tom

    New Anthem?

    How about Borat's version as the US's new national anthem? There must be a vote for that!?

  46. Rob


    I wouldn't get too sure I said anything on here, since I've seen plenty of other posts by a 'Rob' who certainly wasn't me! And i'm not illiterate, maybe lazy, and exponentially frustrated by my iphones shit keyboard, but believe it or not, I can read AND write, hence my use of this comments section,

  47. Rob


    So much bitterness, here have some vapes man!!

    I have a nice [real] life thanks, which doesn't revolve around work, I play in a band, have a nice girlfriend, and am happy, shame you have such resentment for those you know nothing about

  48. Rob


    Right, so you think my life is rubbish because I work in the day, go home and practice music, and generally have fun along the way, sorry but that's all I wanna do with my life, making music makes me happy, maybe if you learn to express yourself via constructive skill too, you wouldn't have so much hate in you, cheer up chap, it's a good job I don't live my life on other peoples terms or I might actually give a fukc what some vitriolic random on a message board says, so long sucka

  49. jake Silver badge

    3 posts in under 10 minutes?

    Can't even focus your thoughts long enough to put it all in a single post?

    Seriously, Rob, seek help before it's too late.

  50. Shig

    If the US Gov't response is as shit as the UK one...

    ... then they'll just completely ignore the results of these polls...

    Every petition that's made its way onto that board has been ignored. Jedi isn't a religion, Ghanja isn't legal and ministers haven't had to give up their "John Lewis list".

    You'd be better off writing your request on a piece of toilet paper, wiping your arse on it, then flinging it over a rainbow.

  51. Shig


    You're giving us a bad name man...

    To everyone citing Rob as an example to maintain this pointless prohibition, I happily pull over £40k a year developing software - I don't get high all the time, certainly not at work, but it helps destress me when I get home.

    It's quite possible to maintain a healthy lifestyle and contribute to society while enjoying a controlled substance, but it comes down to your own mind-set... some people go crazy and schizophrenic (though arguably, it's just catalysed what's already in their mind), most people are fine.

    So, until you all stop drinking alcohol (which is pretty bad for you), please keep your judgement of me and others like me, to yourself.

  52. Andy Bright

    Replace the Anthem

    Yes, but in a world dominated by a LOLcat tzar the more likely candidate would have to be the cringe-worthy 'ROFLMAO' (Manamanah) muppet song .

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