back to article ASA rules on 'USB Fornication Optimiser'

The Advertising Standards Authority has taken time from ruling on matters of international import to pronounce judgement on's USB Fornication Optimiser - a freebie the site offered back in August last year designed to "reduce the time it takes to conceive your baby". USB Fornication Optimiser For those of you …


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  1. Lionel Baden
    Thumb Down


    boffer has grimly decided that in future its product descriptions "will no longer be fun" and it will "no longer have funny pictures

    I was going to go and look at their site

    would love to shop at a company with a sense of humour, no point now

  2. Paul M

    Regarding offending people

    I'd have thought wantonly brandishing one's offspring in public would be much more demeaning to those finding it hard to conceive. Can we get children banned from all public places please, just in case, y'know?

  3. Jared Earle


    "I was going to go and look at their site"

    How do you know they weren't joking?

  4. Anonymous Coward

    What a bunch of whiners

    Three people complained that the boffer offer was insensitive to folks shooting blanks or fertile as a brick? If those people had lives, Nature might not have decided their DNA was not worth preserving in the gene pool.

  5. BoldMan
    Thumb Up

    Haha nice one boffer

    Check out the PDF on the boffer site about the adjudication ;)

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Still gonna keep the humour... Long live boffer!!

    "boffer has grimly decided that in future its product descriptions "will no longer be fun" and it will "no longer have funny pictures"

    That's what it says on the spoof page, if you look at the page with the ASA findings in full it says:

    Dear Boffer Members,

    Sorry we just couldn’t resist the wind up :- )

    Common sense prevailed and the ASA found in our favour, we knew they would.

    As a result of the ASA findings we are going to do the following.

    1. Our descriptions are going to become even more fun.

    2. Our Pictures are going to become funnier and more risqué we are in the process of

    talking Oli and Katie into doing topless shots.

    3. If we bump into Rick Ashley on our next night out we are going to beam back a

    “live” webcam link of Katie and Rick “having it away” for all the boffer'ers to


    4. We are going to expand the forum. We have more competitions and freebies for

    you so get that Kudos Level up.

    5. We are putting our prices down.

    6. The Bag of crap is getting even crappier.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I am offended by the Advertising Standards Agency.

    Who do I complain to?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    ASA need to...

    ...look at this:

    Paris... cos, well she's never let common sense get in the way of anything

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Anyone actually read the PDF they link to (last page for the lazy)?

    It's saying the opposite of what was on the website! Funner descriptions! Toplesserer photoshoots! Woo- and if you will- Yay!

    They're also having to raise their prices as other retailers have complained. Apparently the competition of a small website that sells at these prices for a single day is enough to screw up some people's business models...

  10. Ted Treen
    Thumb Up

    @Paul M

    Wonderful suggestion, old chap!

    I heartily concur.

  11. Nic Brough


    How do we complain about people who complain about this sort of thing?

  12. Gilbert Wham

    @ Nic Brough

    You must befriend them: become one of them, infiltrate their miserable, curtain twitching, puritan lives, then once you have gained their trust, spike their coffee with LSD and laxatives and chase them round the house dressed like a demonic clown. It's the only way, trust me.

  13. Lionel Baden


    Man i Only just put the Evil Clown suit Away !!

    ermm can I "borrow" some LSD

  14. Frank

    @Gilbert Wham re. @Nic Brough

    Gilbert, sounds like fun. Can you post some videos of the last time you did this?

  15. Mart

    a thanks for the tipe would have been nice....

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

  16. David Eddleman


    I know that if they're going to a complete 'me, too!' by resulting to such an unfunny 'joke' as "Rickrolling" (seriously -- who the fuck finds this amusing?) then they've certainly not got my business.

  17. lglethal Silver badge

    Forgive me if im wrong

    Forgive me if im wrong but isnt that a couple of sane decisions coming out of the ASA in the last couple of weeks? The world must be coming to an end - head for the hills!

  18. Rick Brasche
    Black Helicopters

    Proof that Big Government is On The Job protecting YOUR interests!

    We're from the Government, and we're here to help YOU!


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