back to article SpaceX erects Phallus Falcon 9 rocket

SpaceX successfully raised its first Falcon 9 rocket to vertical Saturday evening at the US Air Force launch complex in Cape Canaveral, Florida. We think you'll agree it's quite a sight to behold. I don't know sir, but it looks like a giant... Dick, take a look out the starboard side! (Images courtesy SpaceX.) The …

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  1. Daniel Chapiesky
    Paris Hilton

    Rendered...

    The damn rocket and gantry looks like a rendered image badly photoshoped... is it just me?

    First photo in distance.... the mercury vapor lights are difuse as in a real photo... the glare off the rocket is crisp and you can read the lettering...

    Second photo... again... the light in the window at the lower right is over exposed but the rocket appears crisp and clean... even ... uh... rendered....

  2. Wonderkid
    Paris Hilton

    Oh behave, Austin! There's enough smut...

    ...in that article to fill a whole episode of Benny Hill! And if you say SpaceX fast enough, you may just find one more excuse to interface with the dirty side.

    Paris, because like all ambitious blondes, she's fond of succesful re-entry...

  3. Christopher Ahrens

    Funny how its pronounced over here...

    ..It just seems odd that the company's name is pronounced a lot like "spay-sex" nad that their rockets look the way they do.... I think someone may have a bit of a complex going on....

  4. Allan Dyer Silver badge
    Alert

    Already a gap?

    "designed to fill the gap in the US launching giant phalluses into space when the Shuttle fleet is retired in 2010"

    Surely the gap already exists, the Shuttle, with or without boosters and tank looks nothing like a phallus.

    icon - Warning, Rocket Launch?

  5. Ralph B
    Happy

    Fnarr

    > from hanger to liftoff in under 60 minutes

    Is that including foreplay?

  6. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    You forgot "throbbing".

    Surely with all the pumps 'n things in there it must throb a bit?

    Or are they not testing the internals yet? Maybe throbbing will come (oops, sorry) later....

  7. Ken

    kenstech

    Did the earth move for you?

  8. Paul Murphy
    Coat

    They will be wanting a bigger one next.

    And if they put a couple of (spherical) fuel reservoirs at the bottom of the rocket, to balance it out, provide directional stability, extra lift and err... easier refuelling, then job done.

    They could also do with the fuel top-up pipe being located right at the top, so any venting gases are out of everyones way.

    I suppose a boobie-shaped rocket is silly? :-(

    Mines the one with the 'Go outside and get a life' DVD in the pocket.

    ttfn

  9. Cortland Richmond

    This is a Phamily bored!

    At 180 feet... what does the law say? "...any penetration no matter how slight."

    Ahem!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Why the rush to er, get it up?

    Last I looked, space doesn't tend to go anywhere while you're faffing about with umbilicals and cryogenics. The only reason I can think of for needing a rapid response space launch system is if something suddenly pops up that you want to deliver a payload to. Is SpaceX in the ET-nuking biz also?

  11. michael

    @Why the rush to er, get it up?

    I think it ias to contrats there "can do" aproace with the "takes 5 days to get it out of the hanger and then it is daladed cos of a slight breese" NASA aproce

  12. Elmer Phud
    Alien

    Space Phallusy (Twat-o-tron)

    Millions of dollars spent on this and all people can do is think of knob gags.

    On the serious side it appears to be a covert Jewish plan to enter the space race - the Falcon is obviously modelled on a curcumcised member.

    Is this the beginning of an International Zionist plot to dominate the skies? Is the Moon about to become another Settlement? It looks all very Kosher but following on from the Israeli-led deliberate crash in the world economy, now that the world is looking elsewhere we will be getting secretive launches of thousands of spy satellites.

    You know they killed our Baby Jesus with a missile strike!

  13. breakfast
    Happy

    SpaceXXX

    That is all.

  14. GettinSadda
    Boffin

    Money Making...

    Has anyone thought of filling that "dummy cargo run to the ISS" ship full of small plastic discs with "This disc went to space in 2010" and selling them on eBay with certificates? I would be tempted to buy one if they did!

    Sad aren't I, but I guess there are enough sad individuals to make quite a profit!

  15. Steve
    Joke

    Hmmm

    Could also paint some go faster stripes to it and pritt stick a spoiler to it......

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @AC "Why the rush to er, get it up?"

    Global warming / climate change / etc

    Given the rate at which we are emitting CO2 / CH4 / etc., the weather can potentially go from summer shine to winter snow in an hour according to research by GreenPiss. Hence the need for a quick erection of the rocket.

    Mine's the one in the box containing 100 copies of the Stern report printed on one side

  17. James Hughes

    Come on people...

    No its not photoshopped - www.spacex.com for video of it being 'erected' and loads more piccies.

    And the quicker you can get the rocket from hanger to launch, the cheaper it is. Why wait two or more days, whilst paying all the ground crew to hang about, when you can do it in 60minutes.

    Another reason for quick launch is rescue missions - by definition they need to be quick as there is a lack of emergency services in space. Hence the second shuttle on the launch pad the other day for the Hubble repair mission (canceled anyway I believe), as there is no other option (ISS out of range).

    Why do people always post before even the most basic of research?

  18. Francis Boyle
    Paris Hilton

    No rendering

    Just a time exposure taken under artificial (near monochromatic) light. Years ago I used to take a lot of these sort of shots just to get that effect. These days I just render. And the background is diffuse because the light is being, er, diffused.

    Paris because how can I not (my entendrometer being broken and all)

  19. goggyturk
    Coat

    My God, it looks just like a giant...

    Johnson!

    Woody!

    Weiner!

    etc...

    OK, I'll get my coat.

  20. Anonymous John

    @ They will be wanting a bigger one next.

    There's one due to fly next year.

    http://www.spacex.com/falcon9_heavy.php

    @ Money Making...

    The dummy cargo run to the ISS is a one way trip. They'd have to come back on the Shuttle or Soyuz.

  21. Stuart Halliday
    Thumb Up

    Get a Life

    The author of this article seriously needs to get a girl friend.

  22. Bad Max

    Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

    No! It's Superd***!!

  23. Schultz

    Sponsoring?

    By a pharmaceutical company perhaps?

    Oooh, they got it up very quickly, but did it last?

    What will happen when this young company matures?

  24. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Quick erection...

    Being able to erect the rocket quickly means its less prone to damage in rain, lightning or high winds which are more common in Florida than you might think. The existing Shuttle and ELVs can sit on a pad for days whilst they are checked out, plugged in, fuelled and the like. Some of the smaller rockets can be screened entirely from the elements, but the big ones are terribly vulnerable.

    Of course the coolest were some of the old Titan missiles which were launched from underground bunkers on pop-up launchpads like something from a Gerry Anderson movie.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Erm...

    Hope they lubed the O-rings on this one before any big bang occurs

  26. E

    An amazing step forward!

    Gov't goes to the private sector to provide launch capacity.

    Space X sells gov't Apollo era space capsule. But it seats four.

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