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well thank you for this fine piece of reporting. and its not even friday yet..
It was a bit lonely over Xmas without a single snippet of seasonal Paris Hilton news, so we're delighted to offer today some hot celebutard goss guaranteed to warm the cockles of your chilly parts - our fave jetsetter insists she's made the beast with two backs with just two people. According to the Standard, the talented and …
Wonder why El Reg is so fixated on Paris Hilton? Why doesn't El Reg also fixate on some male sex object who fucks around? Or is it OK for the men to screw everything in sight and not even have it mentioned, while the women have to put up with a glaring spotlight on their extracurricular activities? After all, last I checked there were two people in that Hilton video, yet nobody seems to mention the unethical bastard who made and released the video.
It's a hell of a sexist and demeaning double standard that El Reg is upholding here. Which is, admittedly, par for the course.
When she said "I've only shagged two blokes" she clearly meant for the ending "...at a time" to be applied. Presumably she got distracted before she could finish the sentence because she caught sight of something that looked slightly phallic.
I'm putting a thumb up, because I reckon that's something Paris has let a lot of blokes do.
Don't you realize that the El Reg comments are the property of a private club of pimply faced youths (and their aged wannabe congeners), with senses of humor at about the 4 y.o. level?
All presided over by that formidable matriarch Sarah who don't take no guff from nobody.
If sexism is the worst criticism that can be levelled at this cabal of the callow and uncaring, I think Ms. Bee needs to break out that black leather bustier she bought at Folsom last fall and put it to some use. Surely there is a higher form of expression for so much concentrated juvenility.
Perhaps if we can find a reasonably good looking *male* heir to a fortune of billions who:
1) Films themselves shagging and gets it realeased all over the Internet.
2) Gets their Blackberry hacked on a semi-regular basis, revealing celeb phone numbers (Note the IT angle...)
3) Appears to be a thick as pigshit, yet...
4) Earns a fortune just for turning up at parties and acting as thick as pigshit...
... then I'm sure there would be equal coverage in The Reg. The closest I could imagine would be if David Beckham suddenly turned into a porn actor. After all, he already has the perfume brand and the fuck ups with text messaging... ;-)
Perhaps Ms. Hilton has taken a lesson from Bill "sexual relations" Clinton... For example, "done it" means what exactly?? Just intercourse? Or videotaping a fellatio session?? Releasing said video on the web??? (slight pause for Google search...)
And "couple" is also a weasel word - it doesn't have to mean exactly two, does it? "I just had a couple of beers" could mean anything from about a half pint (a fourteen year old kid to his friend the next day) to about six (a driver chatting to a traffic policeman), to about fifteen (a Reg hack on a quick lunch break)...
She's probably just upset that she hasn't been commented on enough recently. Or, then again it could be that she doesn't count the ones that she can't remember.
A gratuitous paris story. Jeebus bless everyone at El Reg, just the story I needed after the day I've had. So far as Paris only doing the horizontal mombo with only a "couple" guys, sorry but I'm not buying that line for a second. After all she has to have some way to occupy her time in between showing up at parties and shooting atrocious reality tv show.
I'd like to informally apologize to the world for:
Bill Clinton & Co.
The entire Bush Clan
Several shitty remakes of Frankenstein.
Congress (or the apparent lack of PROgress)
The common cold
the term "BFF"
the quotation mark
Thank you and have a pleasent day, where ever you are.
Is she a liar? Half a mill, in yanky dollars I presume, to appear at parties is what she is saying and yet, at the partyist time of the year, New Years Eve, Paris was slumming it at the, as Jerry Seinfeld described, "asshole end of the world" in Sydney Australia for a $100,000 appearance at a party.
Factor in exchange rates and demand for the celebtard and it would seem she is inflating what she truly gets for appearances for those desperate enough to want a "celeb" at their party. No doubt she is applying similar rubbery math to the amount of fellas who have shagged her. My guess the experience now would be like throwing a sausage down a hallway.
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Well, yeah. I think it's totally plausible. I just don't believe she's that interested in sex full stop. Some people aren't. I'm sure she isn't short of offers but then if men are constantly hurling themselves at you, you might get a bit jaded.
Funny how it's just assumed she's a galloping slutbeast because she's mind-bogglingly famous and blonde and doll-like and we have evidence she's had sex with *one* bloke. Like, way to extrapolate.
Wow, maybe I am a feminazi after all, eh?
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