back to article Council to crack down on Cracknuts Lane

Lewes District Council has attracted the attention of the Daily Mail with a proposed new street naming and numbering policy which, if agreed tomorrow, could see the end of "names which encourage defacing name plates", such as Cockshut Road, Cracknuts Lane and Juggs Road. Also for the chop are 'names capable of deliberate …


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  1. andy gibson

    Fanny Hands Lane

    My favourite, in Lincolnshire.

  2. Smallbrainfield

    You couldn't make it up gone mad

    My favourite regularly defaced street name is Canal Street in Manchester, which for those who don't know runs through the middle of the gay district. Guess what that gets defaced as. Go on, guess.

  3. The Fuzzy Wotnot


    So the rather dodgy sounding place of Fingling Ho will have to have a "name reassignment" then?

  4. Anonymous Coward

    Attracted attention in which way?

    Are the DM saying this is a "Good Thing", and supporting the council or are they saying its a "Bad thing"? Its important to know these things especially when the DM is involved because I'd hate to think I might be agreeing with them given their rabid obsession with the new "extreme" pornography act (won't someone please think of the children, please?) where they seem to make Hitler and Stalin seem scarily mainstream.

    Frankly given the way the economy is going I'm amazed that Lewes District council are bothered with such a stupid little thing. I guess Minge Lane or Horney Old Road would be for the chop in their NuWorld town? I look forward to Gloucester County Council renaming Uckington (and yes there is space to the left of the U on the sign posts to add a single letter F)

    Sad, Sad, Sad

  5. Mister_C


    Isn't that where Lewd behaviour was invented?

  6. David Cherry

    That's a Chage of Address for me then

    Since I live in DogPool Lane

  7. shay mclachlan

    Not Nulab for once

    Actually for once this lunacy isnt down to NuLab, Lewes is Liberal Democrat council.

  8. E_Nigma

    Why Stop There?!

    Why not force people with unsuitable last names to change them, or at least prevent them from reaching high official positions, as, while street names are merely a local inconvenience, they internationally disgrace the whole country!

  9. James Blessing
    Gates Horns

    Loss of an icon....

    Does this mean we are going to loose _anal _treet [in Manchesters Gay Village] as well?

  10. Tony


    Time for the good Burghers of Lewes to burgher off, methinks.

    I feel certain that their efforts to "improve" the town will be less than welcome, particularly if the roads are anything like the ones around here. I just wonder how much money the exercise will cost, even if it doesn't go ahead.

    Perhaps we should have a "head exploding" icon?

  11. Rob
    Paris Hilton

    In other news

    Lewes Social Services has deemed naming one's daughter "Charlotte" to be child abuse, saying:

    "Well, it clearly rhymes with 'Harlot', innit?"

  12. Anomalous Cowherd Silver badge

    Not the first council to do it

    Islington did it last century when it renamed Maiden Lane in Farringdon. To be fair, it was previously called Gropecunt lane so I can see their point.

  13. N


    & where do they draw the line?

    anagrams, cryptics & foreign meanings? what utter bollox

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down


    example of PC madness. It's a shame when the vandals (who might damage a sign for amusement) win by getting society to change the signs instead of the council confronting and dealing with the real problem.

  15. Ed Blackshaw Silver badge

    I'm sure the good burghers of Lewes are glad

    that their council tax is being spent in such a productive way, particularly given the current economic climate!

  16. Oliver Humpage

    Not PC

    It's not political correctness to get rid of Cockshut Lane... it's just saving money on replacing/cleaning the sign when it gets repeatedly vandalised. Shame to lose it, though.

  17. Alex Cooper

    Recession? What Recession?

    The council must be drowning in money if it has nothing better to do than this and waste it's money on it. Hopefully a reduction of council tax will be on its way then.......

  18. Ian Ferguson
    Dead Vulture

    Political correctness GOOORN MAAAD

    I'm not sure why Rachel Powell blames political correctness - it seems to be a catch-all scapegoat nowadays. The council clearly state that it's to reduce defacement. It would be a case of political correctness if they did something like renaming 'Brown Street' to 'Interracial Street'.

    On another topic entirely - for GOD'S SAKE, REGISTER, PLEEEEASE make use of a cookie with your bloody annoying 'Reg Reader Research' javascript popup. I've clicked the X innumerable times and filled it in with rubbish three times so far just to stop the fucking thing appearing in front of every story and comment box, but you don't appear to have any kind of cookie or session variable that says 'this person has filled in / clicked the X and doesn't want to be annoyed any more'.

  19. Martin H Watson

    Losing history

    Idiots are destroying an important aspect of social history. And now watch a few clever people slip ones in unnoticed.

  20. Greem


    ...has the amusingly named "Butthole Lane":

    And we like it that way, thangyervermuch.

  21. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. Jared Earle

    Not the first time

    Bring back Gropecunt Lane!

  23. David Shepherd

    Carters Lane ...

    ... also known as Wibbly Wobbly Lane

    This is what a "street" sign on a small lane between Luton and Hitchin says!

  24. Hugh_Pym

    What about Scunthorpe then?

    Mines the one with '101 jokes you should have left behind in the playground' in the pocket.

  25. David Shepherd

    Place name revisionism

    Reminds me of the ongoing process in the US where there's an ongoing argument between african-americans and hispanics (no doubt fueled by a load of do-good white liberals!) as to whether names containing "negro" should be expunged from maps because they have racist backgrounds ... or whether the name predates slavery and comes from the spanish word for black and thus changing the name is an act of racism against hispanics.

    Similarily while in California 10+ years ago I remember reading someone had persuaded the Calif DMV that "JAP" was an offensive reference to Japanese people and got them to cancel all car license plates that included "JAP" as a substring!

  26. Simon Harris

    Wonder if ...

    Willy Lane in Cockerham is for the chop then.

  27. Tim

    Some don't even need defacing...

    Sluts Hole Lane, in Besthorpe, Norfolk for one


    Happy New Year y'all

  28. Stuart Harrison

    Waste money?

    How is introducing one line to a policy a 'waste of council tax payer's money'? It takes two minutes to do. Surely the bigger waste of council tax payer's money is replacing signs that repeatedly get defaced?

  29. Anonymous Coward

    In defence...

    I think a previous poster might have been closer to the main reason: if you have to keep cleaning or even replacing defaced signs, why not simply replace them with one that won't get defaced again?

    Of course the cost to the people who might live or work in those places isn't a factor to the council...

    I work with a guy called Rudi Cockx - I know this is about places rather than people, but even after all these months that's still too snigger-worthy for me to resist posting! :-D

  30. Jez Lawrence

    Presumably the whole town is getting renamed?

    I mean, the place is called 'lewes' which sounds awfully like another word for lavatory.

    Its an admittedly terrible bad pune or play on words - but since they seem to actually be basiing the whole silly plan on the premise that bad puns are so dreadful we have to rename a bunch of streets, then I think they ought to rename the whole bloody place, lest it become known as 'toiletville'. Its certainly how I'm going to refer to the place from now on.

    If you're going to start down a a silly path, at least have the balls to follow the path to its logical conclusion - or give it up as a bad job before you even start.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Corfe Mullen

    Used to have a house on the outskirts called Far Corfe. Some footballer owned it in the 1980's... not sure now. However it is a perfectly Legit name....

  32. Fluffykins Silver badge

    Boot, other foot

    I did hear a tale - may be an Urban MythThat a council planning refusal for a residential development had neen overridden, but they managed to get the developer to loose interest when they pointed out that they had the responsibility for naming roads and that it may just be possible that a good number of street names they might come up with could abe a little off-putting for purchasers.

    I'm off to my local pub:

    The Cockwell Inn,



  33. Gianni Straniero

    'ello 'ello 'ello

    Letsby Avenue in Sheffield has one building on it: a Police station.

  34. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Boot, other foot

    Oh, did you take over the lease from Miss Lucy Likes?

  35. Gianni Straniero


    In other news of street furniture defacement, there's a sign in Lincolnshire that reads "To Old Bolingbroke and Mavis Enderby", to which a local wit has added "the gift of a son".

  36. Anonymous Coward

    Re: Not the first time

    "Bring back Gropecunt Lane!"

    I have it on good authority from a mate of mine who's a keen local historian that what is now Grape Lane in York used to be Grope Lane, or some variation thereof, on account of what used to go on in ye olde times.

    The nearby village of Long Marston has a street called "Butt Hedge" - never fails to raise a snigger or two.

  37. David

    A Hucking nuisance

    I live near a village in Kent called Hucking. Wonder what they would make of that, along with another nearby area called Pratt's Bottom? In my opinion, these quaint old names, that have probably been around for centuries, should survive and to hell with namby-pamby councils who seem to want to protect us, exactly?

  38. Peter Depledge

    Lewes - PC?

    Does Lewes still resound to the chant of 'Kill the Pope' every 5th November? It certainly used to. Does the council still encourage visitors to the town's bonfire night celebrations?

    Pot, Kettle etc

  39. Simon Wright
    Thumb Down

    One of the best

    I remember seeing this roadsign years ago while traveling through a village in Northamptonshire. I had to stop the car becuase i was laughing so much.

    Thumbs down becuase I hope they never change the names of roads like these as they are part of our history.

  40. Mike Taylor


    We used to have a Gropecunt Lane too, but I can put my hand up to a Crotch Crescent that's been around since the 30s.

    I think Lewes has a history of this too, a girlfriend of mine lived there - in a place called Pudding Lane, although officially it was known as St James St

  41. Simon Williams

    Nothing like rude street names to get Reg commentators going

    The name I liked (probably been expunged now) comes from somewhere in Derbyshire, I think -- Peniston Rise. I liked the way the second part of the name was included in the smut and have the obvious photo of friends standing in front of the 'ton'.

    Alien, since s/he/it doesn't seem to get much of an airing.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a bunch of eastwoods...

    I used to work for a govt dept when they were computerised.

    I wouldn't like to say here what Clint Green in Norfolk got scanned/rekeyed as.

    Hint: works best all in caps...

  43. Simon Harris

    OK, hands up...

    everyone (including me) who's spending an amusingly childish afternoon typing rude words into Streetmap

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Yep. Web pages with the word "Scunthorpe" in them used to be blocked by my ex-employers.

    We'd get a message explaining that the page contained obscenities.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Has nobody mentioned that...

    There are 3 Twats in these fair isles?

    Won't somebody please think of the children, etc.

  46. Anonymous Coward

    @David Shepherd Re: license plates

    They nipped that one in the bud then.

  47. Paul Saleh

    pope burners?

    Isn't Lewes the place where they burn effigies of the pope on a bonfire every year? Seems they have more unsavoury aspects of local traditions to neuter before they start on the road signs...

  48. DutchOven


    On my street there is a small lane called "Pilrig House Close". It only has two buildings on it...

    I've only once seen the sign without graffitti. The council replaced the sign and the vandal replaced their part the next day.

    "Pilrig House ^is very Close". Never failed to make me smile.

  49. Anonymous Coward


    I live on Cockshut Lane, not in Lewes but up in the Midlands - the road's been called that for well over a century and the name originally meant "a type of net used to catch woodcock". How stupid that Lewes are wanting to change the name just because of a few idiot teenagers! Grow up Lewes council!!!

  50. Sooty

    all the signs

    in the lovely little village of Shat always make me chuckle when passing through, particlarly the travel agents, Shat Travel.

  51. Christoph

    @ Peter Depledge

    No, it's "Burn the Pope" (it is of course Pope Paul V, not the current Pope Palpatine).

    And the council seem to be putting in an early bid to be the tableau for one of the Bonfire Societies.

  52. Steve
    Paris Hilton

    Is Birmingham next?

    I suppose the death knell is sounding for Bell End near the Lickey Hills just outside Brum then!


    Paris? Well, even she likes a little Lickey Hills now and again!

  53. Justabloke

    Ah... town councils...

    don't they make you come over all warm and cuddly?

    This isn't all that new TBH... they've been trying to get the of a road called "Adams Bottom" changed for years in my town... I'm pleased to say its a change that has been firmly resisted by the local populace... well except for one or two idiots that actually live in "Adams Bottom"

    fnar fnar .... he he he

  54. Big_Boomer Silver badge

    PC madness

    Well, nobody ever expected the LibDems to ever get to run the country and now I guess they never will. I imagine LibDem central is already on a damage limitation exercise after they heard about this bunch of aging East-Sussex morons with no sense of humour.

    From what I can see it's a change in the policy for NEW road names. They won't be changing the existing ones.

    Perhaps they need to relocate them all to Ringwood Avenue in Pratts Bottom.

    <Huh-huh-huh-huh,... he said Wood,... huh-huh-huh,... and Bottom,... huhuhuhuh!>

  55. Anonymous Coward

    My previous boss...

    ... was called Clive Hunt!

  56. raving angry loony

    and again?

    So that, when the language changes over the next 50 years, they can do it all again with a whole new set of streets? Seems to me like that council is overstaffed and needs a good whacking.

  57. Robert Ramsay

    I was amused to find

    An ordinance survey map with a place called "Fulking Hill" - and it's only a couple of miles from "Bushy Bottom"

  58. Andrew Macdonald

    re Tim

    Phew, thought the council had renamed Sluts Hole Lane - glad to her it's still there. Comes from the Dutch, apparently. And don't forget in Norwich, Upper Goat Lane.

  59. RW
    Thumb Down

    It's good old-fashioned prudery, that's all

    And is a symptom of minds utterly obsessed with sex and elimination: what are usually called "dirty minds."

    But, alas, no one has the balls to stand up and say don't be so silly. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder -- and so is smut, dirtiness, and obscenity.

    It's sad to see small-minded councils destroying England's history for such specious reasons.

  60. GrahamT


    The village of Pishill near Henley must be ripe for renaming. Note that the second syllable is hill, not shill. I understand that it stands near the river Piddle.

    But then I live in Maidenhead, which for some reason some people find amusing.

  61. Steen Hive

    Can't Remember

    any naughty ones from home, but there are some small islands in the Channel between Sweden and Öland whose name on nautical charts translates literally to "The Piles Of Shit". Always raised a chuckle when sailing past.

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Heh heh

    Well, I hope they don't get rid of the anal treet in Lewes.

  63. Adrian Tritschler
    Thumb Down

    More local gov'mnt Stupidity

    I lived in a suburb called "Cook" for fourteen years and for as long as I remember the easily amused would change an "o" to a "c". A "Nirvana street" here had their sign ripped off many times over mean years, no, not by enraged Buddhists, by Cobain fans.

    As others have said, where do you stop? Maybe they just need to remove all the street signs entirely and claim its a security measure, same as many councils did with public rubbish bins - nothing to do with security, everything to do with cost savings of not emptying them.

  64. Ian
    Thumb Up

    More Bell Ends

    ...but the one in Rowley Regis/Blackheath in Sandwell then leads on to Mincing Lane for the double whammy!

    However I can see some point to why some people would want to get rid of these names. The road signs from "our" Bell End are constantly going missing.

  65. Rob Daglish

    Two Cumbrian Fells

    Which amused me when I first saw them on OS map - Cockup and Great Cockup.

  66. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PC Gorrn Madddddd!

    Cunt Grope Lane --> Grope Lane --> Grape Lane

    This sort of thing has been going on for years. The "PC gone mad" brigade are just a bunch of jumped up racists/bigots/misogynists who like an excuse to wallow in their personal shallowness, I wouldn't give 'em house room.

  67. Chris Hunt
    Thumb Up

    Slow News Day?

    This looks pretty much like a non-story, even by the standards of the Daily Mail.

    Lewes council are establishing a policy for NEW street names where they avoid ones likely to attract graffiti (and thus cost them money). One would hope that this is already an unwritten rule in councils up and down the country - Lewes are just formalising it.

    It has nothing to do with "banning" existing street names, demolishing our proud heritage of sniggering at "Butt Hole Lane" or any kind of PC nonsense. It has everything to do with the Mail needing to fill a few column inches with ranting when nothing much has happened over the holidays (apart from WW3 breaking out in Gaza - but they can't blame that on looney left pc asylum seekers, so it doesn't count).

    I hereby propose a wholly uncontroversial street name which nobody would want to vandalise:

    Thedailymailisacrockofshite Street

    Who wouldn't want to write that on all their letters?

  68. M Anton

    As a slight digression,

    Lewes is quite close to Plumpton and Chailey, two places that /may/ have given their names towards a childrens classic -

    Oh and as a resident of a nearby town, one of the outlying lanes was once called Sluts lane, but is now more charmingly called Snowdrop lane.

  69. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Great country for names

    This country has wierd and wonderful names and if this sort of palava carries on, everywhere will be very boring.

    Someone mentioned Fingling Hoe in Essex (near Colchester) - well, it's actually better than that as it is Fingring Hoe.

    Brown Willy is obviously a brilliant name, and one that is wrong on so many PC levels is Blackdykes. And in Bishop's Strotford we have the Cock Inn. Which leads to many a possible radio advert - how far is the Cock Inn, Where's the Cock Inn, What is the Cock Inn and so on evermore.

  70. This post has been deleted by its author

  71. Stephen Rodda
    Thumb Down

    Threadneedle Street to be renamed?

    ... and they DID do away with Gropecunte Lane.

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