Browsers a Summary.
Firefox is for people that have no work to do all day and like searching for plugins to make their mediocre browser run slowly. It's Tomato Sauce, meaning absoloutley anyone can look at it's code and fix it. Unfortunatley most people have a day job, so nobody does. It's got a fan base based of loads of computer nerds which wish they could code (Some even can), and also wish they had a day job. . Sadly no Tomato Sauce people have heard of 'User Experience'. This stops their mediocre browser getting beyond Mediocre. FireFox is driven by a huge marketing campaign. As a result the Tomato Sauce fanclub believe light shines out of the foxes bottom.
Firefox has some neat tricks though. As of Version 3 it opens in under an hour. Firefox also supports Tabs and did so before any other browser (Except Opera, and the other browsers which supported tabs first). This makes it the best browser ever. Firefox is secure. It also supports standards better than any other browser. Unfortunatley these standards aren't used by anyone - yet. It's Standards Ready, a bit like those TV's you get with HD Ready. When the standards get here, Firefox is just waiting and ready!
Internet Explorer is a Mediocre browser made by Micro$oft that is haunted by another browser of the same name from years past. It's quite slow. Occasionally like other browsers it has a security flaw. It also crashes a fair amount. Tomato sauce people love to jump on this and tell everyone how much better Firefox is. This is because they have no lives and because the marketing people told them FireFox wouldn't be like this and that light pours out of the foxes bottom. Millions of people use Internet Explorer everyday with no problems. The same way they use TV's and Microwaves. This is because Internet Browsers are boring. like fridges TV's and Microwaves they do a fairly boring job. I once had my fridge broken into. Internet Explorer is forced on to users of Windows, except the ones that don't use it. Sadly Windows is running on most of the machines out there, and love it or hate it's here to stay. It's made by Microsoft. It's a bit Mediocre. In fact it's rather sh*te, probably because it's not made by the Tomato Sauce people. Internet Explorer is rubbish at standards. Luckilly for Micro$oft since Internet Explorer is the standard so everyone make sure their webpages render on it. Internet Explorer is closed source. This is because Micro$oft is worried someone might steal Internet Explorer. No ones really sure why anyone would want to do that.
Opera is a fantastic browser that can't render half the pages out there. While not rendering them correctly, is does so incredibly quickly. The setup program still fits on a Floppy disk. Most teenagers don't know what a floppy disk is. It makes them snigger though. Opera also supports gestures. Most users gesture at it quite a lot when it doesn't render stuff.
ISafari is a browser that is forced upon you by Apple. Unfortunatley in order to watch movie trailers all users are forced into having quicktime. It's sh*te. All IPod owners are forced to have ITunes, since Monopolys not owned by Micro$oftor Intel are of little interest to the courts. ITunes is sh*te too. both products try to trick users into installing Safari. Safari is not very exciting. Infact it's a bit Mediocre. It does have some cool animations however. Once installed Safari will pop up trying allow itself to be updated once a day. Each update for some reason requires downloading a huge setup file. Users accept this because they just want to browse. Luckilly Fridges haven't got to this stage yet.
Chrome is a browser from Google. While it's apparently had it's Beta status removed this isn't really to be believed. All Googles products must have a Beta tag for at least 4 years.
Chrome is Brown Sauce. The Tomato Sauce people don't like this. It confuses them, also the marketing people told them light shines out of the foxes bottom, and there wasn't supposed to be a competing brand of Sauce. It probably means in the end they'll have to pay for Firefox to continue development, since Google has paid for it thus far. The Tomato Sauce people don't like paying for things. Anyhow like most other browsers out there Chrome is fairly Mediocre. It's exceptionally fast at rendering certain things. Certain things it doesn't render at all. Like all the other browsers out there it's full of security flaws. Chrome also doesn't go Fullscreen like other applications, chosing instead to leave a space around the edge. This is because Google is in bed with screen makers to make us all buy bigger screens.
The purpose of Chrome is to destroy Windows and make it a thing of the past, by running applications in the browser. Sadly Chrome only runs on Windows at the moment.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
