back to article Barrow boy Microsoft flogs nostalgic tragic t-shirts

Microsoft has got into the fashion biz by plastering Bill Gates' jailbird fizzog on a new range of t-shirts. Dubbed Softwear (see what they did there?), Redmond’s hoping to flog some Microsoft-branded clothing to the sort of people who would prefer to have Gates' visage rather than his Vista splattered across their chests. …


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  1. keitai

    This was already innovated in free software scene

    "Will Red Hat start selling some colourful headgear down the market?"

    They do already:

  2. Bastiaan van Zwieten
    Jobs Halo

    The proof is in the printing

    And the proof is ...

    ... that Microsoft has no taste!

    DOS-nostalgia? I can live with that.

    Gates-on-a-shirt? Oh why not.

    But why for Job's sake not make it a good looking product?

    Be a little bit more creative than just slapping that (ooooooooolllllddddd) picture on a t-shirt!

    I would sooner buy Vista then this 'softwear'.

    Steve said it, not me ...

  3. Martin Lyne
    Gates Horns


    Glorifying recklessness on the roads? A sideways method of promoting working from home via MS products/clouds no doubt.

    Presumbaly it's ok to pirate their software too. I'll just end up on a t-shirt.

  4. Lloyd


    I guess depending on how much of a fanboy you are, it could always be used as a w*** rag.

  5. nobby

    i have a Red Hat red hat

    its a bit soft to wear in the rain; gets a bit soggy, but keeps the bald patch warm.

    but then i bought a Vista Upgrade too

    someone shoot me

  6. Sooty


    "People rely on QVC for quality and value"

    I just spat coffee all over my keyboard reading that!

  7. Anonymous Coward


    Quite Visibly Crap

  8. Paul

    Please please please

    let us know when something is NSFW...

  9. pctechxp

    Mikey Dell owes me compensation

    For three wasted days off waiting for his overpriced XPS crap to turn up.

  10. Marty
    Paris Hilton

    i near choked

    "People rely on QVC for quality and value"

    I used to work for qvc, and the only thing they are interested in is shipping as much shit as possible, because that is where they make the profits....

    the stories i could tell about that place !!!!

    paris, coz she sucks too....

  11. KenBW2
    Paris Hilton

    Ubuntu does this already

    I want the "I do it with Ubuntu" t shirt. But I can't think of a single occasion where I'd wear it.

    Paris cos she's not embarrassed to show her affilations

  12. Andy Barber

    Diedre Rashid

    Bring back the Diedre Rashid "throw away they key" tee-shirts!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    QVC = Questionable Vista Computers

    the only way they could make that t-shirt any worse would be to use that photo of Bill lying across a desk giving it teh sexeh. You've seen it: you can't unsee it.

  14. Fozzy

    Title needed apparently

    Bill gates on a t-shirt.. Wow what beating would you like today?

  15. Anonymous Coward

    I wonder if..

    ...the T shirts will all be 2 sizes too big, no matter your size. You'll be forced to "upgrade" yourself with expensive takeout to fit into it. Then in two years time it will fall apart and you have to buy a new one.

    Oh and don't let anyone else wear it or you'll breach the eula!

    What they wont tell you is that they're made in sweat shops, my linux t-shirt is open about it's source.

    I could go on, but I sense you wouldnt want that...

  16. Peter X

    What, no Hans Reiser?

    It'll be Hans Reiser next... mark my words!

  17. Anonymous Coward

    @I Wonder If ...

    Whereas with the linux T-shirt

    * You get fifteen arm holes, none of them quite the right shape or in the right place, and have to decide yourself which two are you're going to use because they are very roughly nearest to where you might think a T-Shirt would have arm-holes.

    The hole for your head is in the middle of the back. To get the optional point release with the head-hole at the top you need to sort out the shirt / trouser incompatibility, and then guess which update you need to download from a single server connected to the Internet every other Sunday, hidden behind a firewall with a random single-time password.

    To generate your unique password to that server you have to be wearing your T-shirt.

    If you look for support about the arm and head-holes situation you get told to WYOT; when you look that up on Weakepedia it turns out that means Weave Your Own T-shirt.

    * you can only wear the T-shirt on a limited number of body shapes, none of them remotely matching your own. No jumpers, sweatshirts or coats will fit over the T-shirt; the shirt falls off if you wear the wrong trousers with the shirt; and you can't go anywhere in the shirt unless you first spend three hours on Google looking for the one pair of shoes that actually walk in a straight line with your particular shirt + trouser + underpant + haircut combination.

    If you look for support about that you get told that you're a stupid l00s3r N00b for buying *that* T-shirt and that any one of twelve other suggestions are far better.

    * the T-shirt looks just like a T-shirt that Microsoft or Apple manufactured in 1998, only slightly less well made. If you seek support on that you get told 'Well M$ and Crapple stole it from Paulo Alto, so, well, we thought we would too once M$ and Crapple had done the R&D and proved it worked'

    and, of course,

    the Ubuntu T-shirt is only available in sludge-brown. And if you complain about that you get a fifteen page explanation of how to dye T-shirts using yak's milk, pomegranate husks, and a large gnarly club with spikes in it called bash.

    Enough already.

    Challenge: let's have the equivalent Mac T-shirt anyone?

    Merry Xmas, even to linuxians!

  18. TeeCee Gold badge

    @@I wonder if.

    The iShirt (tm).

    It'll be white, of course. Plain white, with no other distinguishing features bar a small fruit logo inside the collar. It'll fit very well and be extremely comfortable in all weathers at all temperatures.

    It'll be universally agreed to be the best shirt anyone's ever made anywhere ever and be available at a bargain price of $299.95 each. This will be accepted as each will come with a five year warranty.

    Washing it in anything other than an iWash appliance or pressing it with anything other than an iIron will cause it to disintegrate and invalidate the warranty. The iWash will be available seperately and will not include iSoap which will be available in cartridges made from recycled iPhones at your local Apple store. Any use of third party soaps, bleaches or other cleansing agents will invalidate the warranty. The iWash will cost $9,995, the iIron $2,495 and iSoap cartriges will be $49.99 a pop.

    An underground user group will prove that using Tibetan Yak's milk blended with powdered Tiger scrotum and washing your shirt in the headwaters of the Ganges by moonlight on a solstice, then laying it on a flat rock to dry naturally in the rays of the rising sun will not damage it, although it will still invalidate the warranty. iShirts from version 1.2 onwards will turn pink on contact with Yak's milk.

    Apple will spend years sueing the living shit out of anyone else making plain white T-shirts for patent infringement.

    10 years later they'll release a black version................

  19. W


    Are there any BSD or Amiga T-shirts available? Or even an Acorn/BBC Micro version. This one can run and run...

    Looking forward to the Speccy one with rubber detailing.

  20. W

    equivalent Mac T-shirt?

    Is it the new one I saw the Emperor in this morning?

    *Note that the Windows quip was the one that pretty much nailed the joke. The Linux joke was a bit long and convoluted, but ultimately contained more actual humour. And, while this Apple-centric take on things is not gonna be as popular as the former or as varied as the latter, I'll claim that it's the best T-Shirt in the world ever cos it's so simple to understand, anyone who doesn't prefer it is completely missing out, and I don't know why I wasted my time with the other T-shirt jokes.

    Peace and Merry Christmas to all men, women and fanboys.

  21. Ian

    Bad mental image

    Is is just me or is anyone else suffering really bad mental images at the thought of having 'Bill gates splattered across your chest'....

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