back to article Lord Lamont joins Phorm board

Four directors have left controversial ISP adware firm Phorm, including chairman of three months Stephen Heyer. Former Chancellor of the Exchequer Norman Lamont is among their replacements. Heyer, a former Coca-Cola executive, was appointed non-executive chairman only in August. He replaced Ertugrul, who until then had …

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  1. dervheid

    Phorm, please FOAD.

    That is all.

  2. Alex
    Pirate

    talk about flogging a dead horse!

    the sooner this is dog food the better!!

  3. Wokstation

    Lamont?

    Perhaps it's the eyebrows. Kent's hoping they'll distract people from PHORM itself...

  4. JasonW
    Coat

    I'm singing in the bath....

    Perhaps Norm will be reliving the day the pound crashed out of the ERM when Phorm crashes off the face of the planet. I trust that YouTube will block videos of him singing in the bath as he apocryphally did that day as extreme pornography.

  5. Duncan Hothersall
    Heart

    Those differences in full

    "Our current business plan is exploitative and deeply flawed, and will ultimately fail."

    "La la la la la la. I can't hear you. Go away."

    The End.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    New Target...

    for letters of protest...

  7. Robert Ramsay

    Norman Lamont = Gordon Bennett

    Well if that isn't the absolute kiss of death for Phorm, I don't know what is. The man who played "chicken" with the entire finances of Britain against the EU and lost.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    hear that.

    thats me pissing myself, this company is so doomed its untrue.

    mines the one with pockets full of FAIL

  9. TeeCee Gold badge
    Thumb Down

    Now boys and girls.

    "Kip Meek, the chairman of the telecoms industry lobby the Broadband Stakeholder Group....."

    Can anyone say "conflict of interest"? Anyone? No? Ah well, that's all right then.

  10. Darren Sandford
    Pirate

    Sleaze!

    Oh, wait...

  11. Eponymous Cowherd
    Thumb Down

    Extensive experience?

    ***"Ertugrul said: "I welcome Lord Lamont, Kip, Stefan and Stephen to the Board. They bring extensive experience on government, business, regulatory matters and financial markets."***

    Ertugrul's never heard of Black Wednesday, then?

  12. N Silver badge

    FOAD Phorm

    Thats all

  13. N Silver badge

    4 directors leave...

    Rats desert the sinking ship, hopefully

  14. Ian McNee
    Happy

    Going forward with out of the box blue skies leveraging of envelope pushing...

    "As we move into the next phase of our development, the priority will be to build momentum in the rollout of our strategy."

    Hehe.

    Hahahahaha!

    Ahhhh-hahahaha-hehe-haa!

    That would still be the strategy to provide a "service" that no-one wants and is still possibly illegal and even so is never likely to make any money. I'd wish you good luck Mr Ertugrul but neither sarcasm nor blind optimism are my strong suits.

  15. Lukin Brewer

    Just the place for a vampire,

    sucking the usage data out of the networks. Or sneaking into Virgin customer's bedrooms to drain their personal info.

    Of course, he will be suitably cautious where bedrooms are concerned, having ended up with that "self inflicted" black eye in one well-known case.

    Coincidentally, he was my constituency MP before the boundaries were redrawn, putting me in a new constituency with a Liberal majority. Fortunately, he didn't show his face around the constituency much.

  16. night troll
    Pirate

    @ Robert Ramsay

    Next director should be Badger Darling, he'll completely fuck it up. About the only thing he is good for.

  17. druck Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Phail

    I had previously regarded Norman Lamont as an incompetent fool, but now he really has gone down in my estimation.

  18. Richard
    Gates Horns

    Sock Puppet welcomes Sock

    To be fair to Lamont, Black Wednesday wasn't his fault - he'd never agreed with going into the ERM; he simply had to implement a deeply flawed policy rate. Perhaps he's got the right sort of experience after all - he knows it's screwed but is quite happy to make money out of them while the ship sinks. Nice work if you can get it.

  19. Ferry Boat

    Two turntables

    At least Lord Lamont will be useful for popping out to the offie so they can drown their sorrows when the time comes. From a business point of view it does not look good. It's not like he has the best track record, not just in finance and business either.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Lamont eh

    Sleeze & crashing share prices, he'll feel right at home.

  21. Paolo
    Black Helicopters

    sinister

    "They bring extensive experience on government, business, regulatory matters and financial markets"

    In other words they have the necessary contacts, influence and lack of morals to bribe the right people to conveniently ignore current legistation and push on with this crap regardless?...

  22. Neil Greatorex
    Coat

    There is something positive

    To take out of this:

    The salaries paid to these bloodsuckers will further drain the coffers of a company that isn't making, and has never made, money. :-)

    Mine's the one with "Phuck off Phorm" on the back.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Now they have someone from House of Lords...

    I have a feeling that Norman Lamont will use his influence in the House of Lords for the government to say that Phorm is good. Any parliamentary investigation will be ruined because of Lamont's interests in the company. Let's say there is a committee to investigate Phorm and they bring the ofcom director and the communications minister (or whoever is in charge of that area), they will probably be influenced by Lamont. He will probably influence David Cameron and then he will stifle any laws against Phorm just as he brought the whole Tory party into parliament during a quiet day and initiated a parliamentary debate into lowering VAT.

    I don't like Gordon Brown, but David Cameron is a bit like Tony Blair, very creepy.

  24. Elmer Phud
    Coat

    Julian Clary

    Is Phormin' Norman about to do to us what Julian said he had just been doing to Norm?

    I'll get me dirty mac

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    @Conflict of Interest..

    Isn't the wack job on BT's Board?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    It's all about (his) security

    I was on a phlight to the Channel Islands with Norman Lamont a couple of months ago. Nice to see he's got his phingers in a phew pies and won't be short of a bob or two in retirement.

    Paris, because even she couldn't phuck an entire country on just one Wednesday.

  27. Ian
    Gates Horns

    Lamont's Influence Is What, Exactly?

    This is the sort of nonsense that allows minor political figures to supplement their pension while giving conspiracy theorists (AC@1258) a field day.

    Precisely what influence do people think Lamont has over the Tory Party in 2008? He's a chancellor from fifteen years ago who is regarded as a bit of a figure of fun (offlicenses, MIss Whiplash) if you're feeling charitable, the overseer of one of the most disastrous economic periods of recent years prior to the current troubles. Lamont is the person that the Tories, desperate to regain the reputation of economic competence, have been struggling to distance themselves from since 1997. Cameron giving the time of day to Lamont in 2008 would be like Tony Blair inviting Tony Benn to campaign with him in 1997: Lamont represents everything that Cameron doesn't want to be associated with.

    The general idea of ``influence'' is crap anyway. Do people seriously believe that former politicians wield such influence after they themselves have lost any vestige of power that current politicians will do electorally or politically risky favours to people they've barely met? Sure, it suits the purposes of washed up politicians to trumpet that power, and it panders to the egomania of senior managers to convince themselves that they are now close to the wheels of power because they have the junior minister without portfolio in the Campbell-Bannerman government on their board. But the real power? Really?

    A bloke who used to work at your company ten years ago who you met at a Christmas party once and now works for a no-hope re-seller phones you up to tell you about the product he's now selling: do you immediately drop your existing relationships and spend big bucks with him?

    Bill. Because regular lunching with Blair and Brown still hasn't got UK schools moving off Office 2003.

  28. Nic Brough
    Thumb Up

    Lamont?

    Oh dear. He gets trotted out on Newsnight every now and then, as an authority on finance.

    Joining the board of Phorm is a clear indication of total cluelessness (unless you're the administrator brought in to sell of the remains). I just hope Paxo shreds his credibility on-screen next time...

  29. Maverick
    Thumb Down

    share prices dives again

    down 25% so far

    market obviously likes this news <not>

  30. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Bright side...

    He might be as shite at this job as he was being Chancellor of the Exchequer.

  31. Mycroft
    Thumb Down

    Kip Meek

    Never mind Norman Lamont. The real one to watch here is Kip Meek, only quite recently departed from your favourite telecoms uber-regulator. Don't hold your breath waiting for Ofcom to hold Phorm to account...

  32. Luther Blissett

    Of ships and sealing wax and bilge - and the usual mixed metaphors

    > Ertugrul said: "I welcome Lord Lamont, Kip, Stefan and Stephen to the Board. They bring extensive experience on government, business, regulatory matters and financial markets

    Funny to see "regulatory matters" beside "financial markets". Perhaps friend Kent might start a political party. He could be extremely popular. (Not to mention rich).

    So the order is for full steam ahead for SS Phorm. Investment bankers to stroke the furnace, while meek first matey Meek will order the treacherous shoals begone, while repelling all EU boarders with a megaphone. No change of course of course.

    But are the lips of the departing crew sealed? Did a perfect storm on the horizon cause mutterings and threaten a mutinous change of direction? (Cap'n, we cannae go thru it! It'll destroy the ship!). Probably there was not enough yardarm to hang the mutineers - safety in numbers. Having so survived, perhaps the salty dogs now washed up on beach may be willing to spin Reg a rum yarn over a measure of grog?

  33. Ascylto
    Coat

    Lame-ont.

    It all goes to prove the theory that incompetence, like some turds, floats.

    Mine's the one with dud cheques in the pocket.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    From Pinochet to Ertugrul

    Phormin' Norman picks his mates with care, evidently. I wonder if Judge Garzon has anything on Kent kicking around in his "wankers to be burned (pending)" file?

  35. Ferry Boat

    Black Wednesday all over again

    Just a coincidence that yesterday the pound had its greatest fall against the US dollar since Black Wednesday?

  36. VulcanV5
    Paris Hilton

    The Influential Mister Lamont.

    Contrary to an earlier post, The Great Lamont isn't regarded as a "bit of a figure of fun". In and out of politics he's seen -- correctly -- as an enormous joke. His only redeeming feature -- that, unlike fellow comedia John Major, he didn't sleep with Edwina Currie -- has still not been enough to rehabilitate him with a political elite which, as it would rather not have any reminders around of what happened back in 1992, would also rather not have The Great Lamont around, either.

    Anyway. Instead of posting here, all Reg-ulars should write to the good Mr Entregul congratulating him on Norm's appointment, seeking Norm's immediate promotion to CEO. Norm's current humble capacity is such that he won't be able to bring Phorm to the brink of oblivion within a short time, whereas his elevation would ensure the whole outfit falls over the edge by mid-January.

    * By the way: anyone heard the joke about a guy hoping to make squillions out of Internet advertising in the middle of a global recession????

    You couldn't make it up. Rock on, Norm!

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