Zoo's polar bear breeding plan scuppered by girl-on-girl

A northern Japanese zoo's polar bear breeding plan was somewhat delayed when staff noticed the male brought in to make the beast with two backs with their resident female was himself herself a girl. According to Reuters, four-year-old Tsuyoshi had been "living in harmony" with the unnamed female at Kushiro Municipal Zoo since …

[Tim]

MMMM

Girl on girl bear(bare) action anyone?

[Joe]

Fail

'nuff said

[Ralph B]

The IT Angle

> "their long hair makes it difficult to distinguish, especially when the bears are young".

Ah, like IT workers then.

[TeeCee]

Sexing polar bears.

I guess that the reason that determining the sex of polar bears is tricky proves something.

If you're an umpteen hundred pound Ursine with huge claws, a nasty set of teeth and a vicious temper, you don't need to have a massive dick to stop people laughing at you.

[Anonymous Coward]

@Ralph B; re: The IT Angle

It's very easy to identify a female IT worker - she's usually surrounded by 256 desperate male IT workers...

The one with the copy of "How to pick up girls by hypnosis" in the pocket, please.

[Martin Owens]

Dump

Hot water on her, that usually turns people into males in Japan.

[Wibble]

Time to read the T&Cs

Did the purchase order not say 'Little Boy Bear'?

[Nic Brough]

@Ralph B

You owe my client a new monitor, there's coffee all over this one ;-)

>> "their long hair makes it difficult to distinguish, especially when the bears are young".

>Ah, like IT workers then.

Yeah, but it's safe to let the bears breed.

[Charles Tsang]

Hung like a bear?

Not!

One wonders if Penguins have the same adrogeneity.

[Anonymous John]

"The zoo is now planning to chat to other local zoos"

And what if their zootards can't tell the difference either?

[Tony]

NSFW - or those of a sensitive disposition

Some years ago, I worked for a firm involved in the meat trade. On one occasion, i saw one of the onsite vets with a device that looked like a see through stirrup pump. In my innocence, I asked what it was for - it appeared that she worked as a semen collector for the Best Beef scheme. It appears that she was very popular with the farmers as she "had a gentle touch, that allowed her to collect more from the animals" (possibly she was popular with the bulls as well!).

Perhaps the zoo should consider a similar approach?

[Anonymous Coward]

zootards...

Another *tard for the dictionary, I see.

[Mister_C]

@ anonymous john

They could post their wee video on utube and ask for "bear, same colour, different posture"

[M]

Ah-so...

......D'oh!

[Graham Marsden]

There's got to be a joke...

... about bears and woods here somewhere...

[Bad Beaver]

Hooray for competence

Fail sums it up quite nicely. One would think that these bears get examined "on delivery" when you can still discreetly pull a "manual" on them without having your face eaten off. One has to keep in mind the Japan-factor though. Maybe it is a a magical bear that can do some nifty gender-bending transformation accompanied by swirls of stars? You just have to find the right villain to face it with.

[lee harvey osmond]

Stunning.

Apparently global warming is now a cause of ursine lesbianism.

[Pierre]

Two backs?

"the male brought in to make the beast with two backs"

erm, with such a view on the technicalities of sex, you must be an IT worker...

[unitron]

One the other hand...

"Zoo's polar bear breeding plan scuppered by girl-on-girl"

Their polar bear porno film festival fund-raising plan, however, is off to an excellent start!

(insert joke about what's really melting the ice floes here)

[Allan Dyer]

I blame the schools!

What are they teaching in sex-ed classes these days! Don't they consider the number of kids who will grow up to become zookeepers! Could also be problematic in the diary industry.

[Anonymous Coward]

I Blame

Usenet, if you look hard enough I bet there's a binaries groups dedicated to this sort of thing (or will be shortly)

alt.fan.paris-hilton, you know it makes sense.

[Hollerith]

don't break up a happy couple!

Clearly these two bears have formed a loving relationship, and in Canada and other enlightened countries could even get married. This emphasis on breeding is so old-fashioned! Have the zootards considered that requiring one or both to breed with a male bear would be 'forced sex'? This must stop!!! Say NO to Prop 8, etc!!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Bzzz, bzzzz!

"It's very easy to identify a female IT worker - she's usually surrounded by 256 desperate male IT workers..."

What, like a Queen bee surrounded by drones?

[Anonymous John]

@ zootards...

I thought I'd invented it, but it gets 255 hits on Google.

[Jon]

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

If I lived in the arctic I'd certainly want wooly underware to keep my pecker from freezing.

[Chris]

baculae

Polar bears, like most non-human mammals, have a penis bone (baculum). Surely that would show up on an X-ray?

[Ed]

I dont know about the rest of you but....

I for one welcome our lesbian polar bear overlords.....

:P

[Anonymous Coward]

@Martin Owens

O'rly?

I saw what you did there.

Erm, what happens when he / she goes for a swim then?