back to article Yes! It's the USB Toaster!

Register Hardware’s hacks are always tied to their keyboards, so going into the kitchen to prepare the morning toast is a right royal pain in the bum. So imagine our collective glee when we discovered this little number. USB_toaster The USB Toaster. What an idea! The techie toaster may only toast one slice of bread at a …


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  1. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    This appeared on The Onion quite a while ago

  3. mike lee
    Jobs Horns

    If I'm using my computer for some time...

    If I'm using my computer for some time I have access to a plug socket.

    A none-USB toaster can you one of them. I know as my toaster sits next to my computer.

  4. Jerome

    Empty box?

    What sort of c*nt would buy someone this? It'd be bad enough to receive something as unbelievably lame as a USB toaster, but at least it would be sort of funny. Opening the box to find you've not actually got anything at all, however... well, I can't imagine many people seeing the funny side.

    Also, this has to beat HP's record for excessive packaging.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    ...I didn't read the whole article.

  6. Matt Bradley
    Jobs Horns


    "But it also supports FireWire 400 and 800 connections for all your marmalade lovin' Mac owners"

    Haven't you heard? Apple don't do Firewire anymore. The macbook specs are going BACKWARDS in time...

  7. Tim

    Any USB port?

    Given than usb 1.1 is only 100mw, then i would be sceptical of the claims of this box, even before i had opened to find a pair of socks.

    Now if they wanted to power it off a sony laptop battery, then thats different. Preventing the toast being burnt to a crisp would be the main challenge!

  8. Haku

    You CAN cook with USB power...

    ...but you'll need 30 USB ports -

    (flames for the cooking aspect of this article)

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @100mw Tim...

    USB 1.1 is 500mA. (Amps, not watts.)

    Crank out the four-slice!

  10. Mark
    Dead Vulture

    A title is required.

    Good grief, this is old.

    Or, as The Onion would phrase it, "Area man finds funny website on the internet; forwards to friends."

  11. Rob Sked

    RE: Empty box?

    What sort of c**t?

    That'll be me. It's perfect for a secret santa gift!!

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Doesn't anybody see the problem with this?

    This is one step closer to Talkie the Toaster!! We must stop the development and sale of such a device!

  13. Andrew Moore


    El Reg has become the Wayback Machine then...

  14. Steven
    Gates Horns

    I'd buy it....

    ... if it were real.

    It's something satisfying that my Apple-tard colleagues couldn't claim their iPhones can do.

    Bill because it would be a warm enough to burn toast where he is.

  15. Aremmes
    Thumb Down

    Behind the times

    Who cares about a single slice of toast -- give me the whole breakfast!

  16. Charles
    Thumb Up

    Brilliant Business Model

    This is a work of absolute genius, it demonstrates the new business model for the Internet age. Forget actual product development, just sell the concept and the empty package. It's pure profit.

  17. Joe K
    Dead Vulture


    Thats nothing, the USB George Foreman grill is FAR superior.

    Be sure to click "add to cart".

  18. Steve Renouf

    Too late! @ Doesn't anybody see the problem with this?

    Too late! It's already been done!

  19. Mike Richards Silver badge

    In other breaking news...

    ...just in from Oregon - the story of the exploding whale.

  20. Harry


    Its only a joke until everybody knows about it, and now The Reg has spilled the beans ... there's nothing left to put on the toast anyway.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Matt Bradley

    MacBook Pro and desktop machines all have FW800.

  22. J


    WHAT!? No Linux support!? It was too good to be true...

  23. J

    @ "old joke" whiners

    There are no old jokes, just old audiences.

    (I for one did not know this "toaster", for example)

  24. Anonymous Coward

    No biggie ...

    I've been using my trusty 1950s Morphy Richards (in curvy Forbidden Planet style chrome and red) as a server for years. No USB, though — it's legacy!

  25. Charles Manning

    USB wine was a bigger flop

    Bad market research. Most geeks prefer beer!

    @@100mW TIm 5V @ 500mA = 2.5W. Just warm enough to provide a nice habitat for bread mold.

  26. Rich

    Bah spec violation

    USB delivers 500mA which is 2.5W.

    Still nowhere near enough for anything than a small slice of toast, though I did burn my fingers on a 10R resistor I was using to measure the on-load output of various USB hosts the other day.

    (Technically, you have to ask the bus nicely for more than 100mA, but most hosts aren't that clever).

  27. Andus McCoatover
    IT Angle

    Wrong Shui

    Love it!! Nice spoof.

    Of course, anyone who's read Rohan Candappa's excellent "Little Book of Wrong Shui" would know that, if you were to use this USB toaster and your toast always falls butter-side-down, simply butter the other side.

    IT angle?? OK...from the book...

    <quote>Attract visitors to your home by placing stereo, video, and computer equipment where they can be seen from the road..</quote>

    Oh, yeah, when laying out a room, NEVER place a rock near a Hard Place.

    This is thanks to the master of Wrong Shui, Master Yu Plon Ker.

    Read this book on a transatlantic flight, laughed so much I thought the flight attendants were going to put me in restraints, being shortly after the incident with the "Cackling Co-pilot"

  28. Tim Brown

    I double dog dare ya...

    ... to make a real one. It doesn't have to actually toast anything - it just needs to talk about toast a lot. A la Red Dwarf's "Talkie Toaster".

    Go on. I dares ya.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not impressed!

    FFS, it doesn't talk!

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bit like the VAT 'reduction'

    not much more to add really.

  31. Fluffykins Silver badge

    More late breaking news

    Mafeking relieved.

  32. Anonymous Coward

    No firewire on macbook?

    No problem, just turn the machine over and you've got space for toast and you can grill the tomatos too!

    Flames, obviously...

  33. John

    Mac laptop users...

    can just turn their laptops upside down and put the toast at the MagSafe corner

  34. Tim

    Toasting laptops?

    Just buy a Laptop with a certain make of battery in it and there you go, put the bread between the screen and keyboard and violá, toast. It's only a one time use though and you will need a fire extinguisher to hand to put the laptop out.

  35. skeptical i

    re: exploding whale

    Ah, yes, the Day It Rained Meat.

    g00t00b vid here --

    Mine's the rainslick with the large 'brella, please.

  36. the evil ed

    This is soooo old

    I first heard of the "eject /dev/toaster" joke at least 8 or 9 years ago - and I'm afraid the geeky sniggering is now getting to me to the point where I'm actually considering making a damn toaster that I can connect to my computer just to shut everyone up! If it had been real I wouldn't have been complaining, but come on, this is hardly original!

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