Put yer hands where I can see 'em!!!
I'm cumming officer...errr....
Mine's the one with the Jam jar in the pocket
An Oz driver has been fined AU$600 for "offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction" after cracking one off into a pasta sauce jar even as coppers attempted to subdue him with batons and capsicum spray following a "slow-speed" car chase through Newcastle, New South Wales. The drama began when …
That's if your God happens to be the all-powerful FSM.
Does it not say in the wholly (made-up) gospel - in the book of Dolmio, Chapter II, Verse 7:
"And yay, I have tasted of his salty balls, and they did nourish me;
I have enveloped my membership in his tomatoey firmament, and thus I was cleansed."
It's all there if you'd only open your eyes and read it and it must be true because it's (now) written down.
Did we all catch it? Jon Double Nice didn't. So here are the original storylines:
Accountant caught with fingers in the petty cash - type of thing. A frequent alternative is where shop girl occurs in the accountant position, and till in the petty cash position.
You won't find this class of jiggery-pokery in the Sun (very often).
Quote-The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".
A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".- Unquote
I laughed so much I could hardly breathe after reading that!
"Bouts of wrestling" *chuckle*
"homemade sex aid" *chuckle chuckle*
"jack russell terrier" *die of laughter*
IT? who gives a fuck?!
Quite the coincidence that the police decided that he must of had a weapon because his hands were on his lap... Also quite a coincidence that he decided to choose a place nearby Nobby Beach with a jar of what has been mutually agreed as a Dolmio jar.What they also neglected to mention was the bag of Nobby's Nuts in the glove compartment, most likely salted.
Also a coincidence that he took the 'no stopping zone' part of where he was parked too literally and continued even whilst being beaten by police with batons. Did he derive pleasure from this beating, or was he possessed of such drive and focus that it was like hitting an adult Male Rhino with a broken chair leg?
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