back to article Halliburton seeks patent on patent trolling

Halliburton - the Texas-based company famous for pocketing billions from the war in Iraq - hopes to patent the art of patent trolling. In an 18-month-old application just released by the US Patent Office, Halliburton attorney Clive D. Menezes seeks exclusive rights to "patent acquisition and assertion by a (non-inventor) first …


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  1. Matthew Saroff
    Paris Hilton

    Well, if they get the patent,

    Then patent trolling becomes prohibitively expensive for other patent trolls.

  2. blackworx
    IT Angle

    But Shirley

    This has all the hallmarks of infinite recursion. Quick, somebody patent patenting patent trolling.

  3. Martin Gregorie

    More money for Haliburton...

    ...if they license other patent trolls.

  4. CTG


    If there is better proof that the patent system should be abolished immediately, I have yet to see it.

  5. Erik Aamot

    this is clearly just a business method ...

    .. which is not patentable .. FAIL

    not to mention, under US law, the original inventor, even if kept as a trade secret, is still the inventor, not the first to file a claim

    pretty sure this method has been used by corporate patent lawyers for at least 60 years, if not thought of shortly after establishment of USPTO .. so it's not original .. FAIL

    again, just a business method attempting to legitamize back engineering of another's invention / trade secret to steal the original inventor's work, which is exactly why some trade secrets are not patented, so the secret details are not divulged .. not unusual in the chemicals industry

  6. fluffy

    Sadly, there is way too much prior art for this to remain valid

    Meanwhile, this story is like every story rolled into one...

  7. alex d

    back to the future

    That's hillarious. I'm not sure though it's "patent trolling" per se. It's more bizarre. They want to figure out others' technologies, and then turn around and demand money from those people for having invented something but not disclosed how it works. (Most likely, they'll be doing that to other defense contractors. Or, stopping other defense contractors from doing that.)

    This is all rather ironic, if you keep in mind that one of the main points of patents isn't to "protect property because what you think of you can stop anyone else from thinking" (yeah right), but to encourage inventors and manufacturers to disclose and document their secrets, so that industry can learn and improve on them. This was at least the selling point during the Industrial Revolution.

  8. J

    Can I have a gun?

    Please? Geeeee...

  9. Chris Thorpe

    Prior art...

    ... everywhere.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Prior Art?

    After all, patent trolls are ubiquitous enough that we've even coined the term...

  11. IR


    It looks a lot like they want to stop patent trolls from attacking them, possibly because they want to do a bit of infringing. It isn't a valid patent though, they even admit that the method has been used in the past. They do include the following in the patent though:

    "The inventor and the assignee of this patent have no intention of applying the techniques described herein offensively but instead intend to use the patent defensively to discourage patent trolls and the like from extortionist practices. "

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Countdown... the first post from some twit who thinks he being clever by saying something like, "I'm going to patent the carriage return! You all owe me a brazillion dollars! ha ha ha!"

  13. rlow

    The better way

    The USians could just fix their "special" patent system.

  14. James O'Brien


    I hate the US. I live here and hate it. Whats next? Sony or Rambus patenting the act of sex?

    You heard it here first.

  15. A_M


    It appears the US patent system has eaten it's own tail...

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Bilski Decision

    I'm no patent attorney, but I'd imagine the recent Bilski Decision torpedoes this application.

    Evil Cheney because, well, you know why...

  17. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    Jesus would get cancer just by seeing this

    >> If they get the patent... then patent trolling becomes prohibitively expensive for other patent trolls.

    Not if Hitlerbutton proceeds to license its patent on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis.

    Next up: Patent covering mob hits involving a motorcycle with two occupants, a portable handgun with or without a silencer and a mark in a car.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I suspect there might just be some prior art on this one...

    It'd be one of those court cases where you hope that both sides loose though...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm kind of torn

    So only one troll will win. But its the biggest evilest troll . This is company that has cost the lives of soldiers by providing them with faulty gear and just not giving a shit about them.

  20. EvilJason
    Paris Hilton

    You know what I'm going to do?

    I'm going to patent "the process of using methods and decisions using sub standard reasoning and or lack of foresight resulting in an unforeseen circumstances."

    Lets see if anyone can figure out what that is

    And when you do figure it out I WILL SUE YOU ALL


    Paris patron "saint" of the above

  21. NB

    dude, wait, what?

    this has got to be a joke... right? RIGHT?! I think my ears are bleeding...

  22. Chris Simmons
    Thumb Up

    A comment...

    ...from $RANDOMLUSER on /. (it gert made I laff):

    "This makes me so mad I just wanna shoot someone in the face."

  23. Peter Simpson
    Paris Hilton

    They forgot the last step


    //sorry, it was just so obvious

    //Paris, because she knows how to profit

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    With US patent law, anything is possible

    I met a Russian who implied Russia is more like the USA than anyting else.

    "Too much power in the hands of too few".

    If patent laws in the USA, regarding software, won't change, let us hope they will loose what ever strengh thay had.

  25. Adrian Esdaile

    And then they wonder why...

    angry people want to crash fully-laden airliners into their buildings.

    PS. Ah jes' patented PATENTS, youse all jes' gots PWNED!

    PPS. ^ thats an attempt to type Texan-stylee

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    needs a title but can't think of one

    Given the USPO's past record this must be a sure fire winner.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Haliburton should patent FAIL

    After all, they are good at it.

  28. TeeCee Gold badge


    I've just had a look and I can't find a time zone in the US where it's April 1st. Where are they filing this?

    What? No, I'm not paying that! I put my coat on yesterday as well, that's PRIOR ART YOU BASTARDS!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Prior art

  30. Anonymous Coward

    @James O'Brien

    You mean the act of "creating a prenatal humanlike cell collection using genetic samples from one (1) or more adult humans without the aid of a lab but with the aid of drinks containing fermented plant matter" surely?


    The "one parent embryo" has, IIRC, been created. As has the 3-parent embryo. Pretty cool, huh? Science rocks!

  31. Steve

    @ blackworx

    "This has all the hallmarks of infinite recursion. Quick, somebody patent patenting patent trolling."

    Ha! I already patented the idea of patenting patenting patent trolling.

    Gimme some money you dirty patent infringer, you.

  32. Edward Rose


    Take someone else's design, and patent it.

    There is already prior art here, it's someone else's design, they have the prior art to you writing the patent.

    So, this patent only covers the patents which get refused or overturn for prior art. It can't cover the trolls that get away with it (they have 'proven' it was their idea first, honest!). So, the patent doesn't cover a damned useful thing.

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