Defra drafts proper pet practice for the daft The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) is consulting on new guidelines for gormless pet owners who don't know a dog's arse from whatever it has in lieu of an elbow. The cat welfare document (see here) will be published as a leaflet to hammer home some of the finer points of feline care on the heels of …
Sheer brilliance. *Applause*
If I didn't know the answer, I'd ask "do they really think we're that stupid?" but I know the answer. Even worse, I know that, as a nation, yes, sadly, we are. *sigh*.
(2 cats, one dog. they all pile on top of each other in front of the fire, and thankfully - purely for reasons of size - the dog always ends up at the bottom with the cats climbing all over him)
Where is the IT angle? Sarah is normally more on the ball as regards these things...
On a more positive/relevant note, it will allow more confiscation of animals because none of these bottom feeders can now say "I wasn't told I needed to care for the damn thing" or some such excuse. It's less about ensuring good care and more about removal of plausible deniability.
How much taxpayers' money has been wasted on this "initiative"?
Government says we must provide "entertainment" and "mental stimulation" for our pets. What do they want? A Black & White Minstrel show?
Getting out of the shower this morning I was confronted by our two cats. Stuck for something good to get a good laugh or purr from them, I entertained them with the "Windsurfer" from Puppetry Of The Penis. The other half thinks it's hysterical. The cats ran off faster than a priest after an altar boy.
On diet, it advises fresh food every day but warns "an obese cat is an unhealthy cat" adding "it is a good idea in a 'greedy' cat to have the measured food divided up into a number of meals per day".
So can we expect Parliament to restrict the meals of those MPs who aren't in that green bit of the BMI scale? Gordon Brown looks like he's carrying a few extra pounds. Are we going to see him shut in a f**k off big cat box so he can't pig out on food? After all, following this logic, an obese MP is an unhealthy MP.
Gravestone 'cos this is a dying government desperate to be put out of its misery.
Now how about a similar idiot proof guide to how to raise a child? Judging by the yoof of today it would be good for them to get some idea of how to do a better job than their parents at raising the next generation of fatherless mongrels.
A possible sample:
"MacDonalds make a meal called the 'breakfast'. While this is misleading it is must be stressed that it is not a suitable meal for a child before school"
"Preparing a healthy meal and then refusing to give your child sweets and desert if they don't eat the meal is not child abuse; passing fish and chips through the school railings to your fat heffer of an offspring is child abuse though"
"School and education are good things and should be encouraged; mugging old ladies, carrying a knife and raping teenagers are bad things and should be discouraged"
"Giving your child a wallop because they have refused to follow the clear rules of expected behaviour - OK
Giving your child a wallop because it makes you feel more important and powerful, and gives you a bit of a chubby - NOT OK"
I'd be much more impressed if the government decided to set up free (on the NHS) veterinary care for cats and dogs. Pet insurance isn't cheap (unless you get the kind of policy that doesn't actually pay out, and end up barred from your local vet -- this actually happened to a friend of mine). It would also be a good way of ensuring that every animal is properly vaccinated, neutered (unless you pay for a breeding licence and submit to regular inspections of your premises) and microchipped.
It's been demonstrated, formally and anecdotally, that people who keep pets tend to be fitter and healthier than people who do not. A small outlay on veterinary care might well have positive implications for human wellbeing.
What a pointless exercise - cats and dogs are relatively easy to care for, if you have any sense of responsibility at all. They should concentrate on educating people that other creatures are MUCH harder than they think to look after properly - birds especially (parrots, crows, any birds of prey) need way more stimulation and focus than mangy fourlegs.
Right.
- Those who are going to mistreat the animals are those who are never going to read the advice.
- Those who care about their animals will seek detailed advice from experts
So why are we wasting even more time and money on this sort of rubbish? If you want to throw money at animal care, then throw it at vets and animal welfare charities, they actually have a clue on how to handle animals and their humans.
FFS, I'd rather see the money go to "Please provide me with a cheese burger dot com" for spelling and grammar lessons.
Mine's the one with the bandages in the pocket (my cat bites me when she's not happy - it's not quantum mechanics to work that one out!)
The IT angle? Well it's obvious isn't it, the story is going to receive an update when they announce a tender has been put out for a central database of all pets and owners, including DNA of both, microchipping of both and a new camera based tracking system to monitor every household with a pet (an the associated pet detector vans to track unregistered pets) to make sure your pets get the right amount of exercise at the right time.
I also agree with the comments about cats and staff. My wife has two cats and they are the most "using" creatures on earth, no good for anything except leaving "suprises" on the doorstep (dead animals, although to give our old tom his due he is getting crafty, brought a rat back the other day, complete with trap) or shitting right next to the litter tray so you cant really tell them off "Ah look, he tried but must have sat in it wrong" BOLLOCKS the little shit knew exactly what he was doing, likes nothing better than seeing me pick up his shit and vomit!
</Rant>
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