New cleaning products erase murder stains

Thanks to a new breed of detergent, getting away with murder isn't the daunting task it once was. In the past, removing telltale murder stains was next to impossible. Even after multiple washes, blood-splattered clothing could still lead the police to your front door. But according to experts at the University of Valencia, …

[Pete]

Thats right

You never hear about the crims who're not caught..

[Michael Chester]

Surely...

Vanish strikes me as a kind of lowest common denominator detergent from the ads, so surely the stupid murderer will be using it, and therefore get away with it?

[Anonymous Coward]

BRB

Buying buying vanish!

Need a Gordon Von-Braun icon.

[Anonymous Coward]

"It may wash away tough DNA stain too."

Alas, too late for President Clinton...

[Dean]

BOFH

Need I say more?

[Thomas Baker]

Naturwissenschaften

It's conjuring up images. It certainly is.

Test | Test | Test

[Daniel B.]

Hans Reiser

I wonder what would've happened if he had used Vanish instead of waterlogging his car. Then again, maybe the only difference would've been that the cops would've found him washing his passenger seat; and he had that "How to get away with murder" book in the car anyway.

Fortunately, it seems most murderers aren't very good at cleaning evidence, even with the proper tools.

[P. Lee]

The end of CSI

Catherine: Grissom, there's nothing here - no blood, no dna, nothing! What can we do?

Grissom: Beats me. Good luck with that, I'm outta here!

[Inspector Clouseau]

Are we soon to be witness to...

Bush and Blair sneaking through Iraq wiping everything down with Vanish.

Mine's is the clean one......honest.

[adnim]

Getting away with murder is easy.

At least it is for governments and over zealous Metropolitan armed response teams.

[Pat]

Correction

You definitely don't hear about the criminals whose crimes aren't DETECTED.

You do hear about some criminals that aren't caught, Jack the Ripper for instance.

[Seán]

Cilt Bang

Something about oh I don't know gunfire residue, sigh.

[Anonymous Coward]

So new patio +

change of detergent = new wife - wahey - thanks El reg - seems not all crooks are to dumb to reg the tech press

I was gonna take the black n white stripy one with the number on it - but you can keep it for the ones behind me that dont use the pink brand thnx

[Pete]

time to be worried

if your partner reads el reg and then starts buying this stuff.

I can see a whole line of sponsorship for dull, formulaic, crime proggies here.

[TeeCee]

Re: Correction

Nope, that doesn't wash (oops). "Jack the Ripper" is a label for an unknown killer or killers who was / were responsible for a series of murders which evidence suggests are almost certainly linked.

World + Dog has a theory on who it was, but there's insufficient proof for any of them to say which one done it.

You can certainly say that you've heard of "the Jack the Ripper murders", but you cannot say that you've heard of the criminal responsible. Just because you can get away with slandering the dead doesn't make it right.

A far better example would be to come up with a named criminal who is known to have been responsible for a specific crime or crimes, but has eluded capture since. Osama bin Laden springs to mind here.

[Paul]

I always said...

our IT department are very very nice people and I would buy them a pint any time...

*looks around and backs slowly away from the computer*

[Andus McCoatover]

Mwahahahaha

Now, I can do away with my g/f.

Ta muchly. Great help. So, i'll pop down to my local German-owned LIDL (Valtatie 31, Tuira, Oulu, 90500 Finland) and get some.

But, as the article says,

<<The majority of criminals are not that smart. They don't do things as you expect them to and read this kind of news>>

Er, ....

[Andus McCoatover]

Forgot..

Used to have a customer, years ago, whose name was Richard Staines. He'd never, ever, ever let anyone call him "Dick". Dunno why.

[Andus McCoatover]

@Cilt Bang

Grief, did I misread that or what.............

Snort --coffee | /home/usr/nose >> /dev/keyboard

[Anonymous Coward]

Will this help me recover my corrupted ReiserFS volume?

I'll get me coat.

[Chris G]

Does it remove

Unsightly stains on politics and society? Such as politicians

[V]

David Kelly

Is it too late for forensics to go back and test his body/clothing for residue of Vanish?

I can just see the advertising...

Vanish, As used by spooks, probably.

[Pat]

TeeCee

Quote TeeCee = "You can certainly say that you've heard of "the Jack the Ripper murders", but you cannot say that you've heard of the criminal responsible. Just because you can get away with slandering the dead doesn't make it right."

What are you on about? Or just, what are you on?

"Jack the Ripper" was not originally a label, it was used as an alias or assumed name; in some of the correspondance claiming to be from the killer some were signed as "Jack the Ripper".

Killer or hoaxer, if the police could have caught him they would have pressed criminal charges as far as they could, as they were under pressure to make any sort of progress.

The police files referred to the Whitechapel Murders, not "the Jack the Ripper murders" as you make out, but the name has been made infamous through the media and the person using that name committed criminal acts of one level or another, and was never caught. Hence my perfectly valid example.

Back in your pram, youngster.

[Anonymous Coward]

@Cilt Bang

Must admit I misread that also. Did make me chuckle.

Blood can pretty much get everywhere so surely they just have to keep an eye on someone bulk purchasing Vanish....

Paris .. because she'd know about "Cilt Bang"s - sorry...

[Anony mouse]

Brilliant Whites...

Now just have to work out what to do with the bodies in the basement

[Pascal Monett]

sodium carbonate peroxyhydrate

Seems like I'll be stocking up on that in the near future ;-)

[Anonymous Coward]

@Anony mouse

You mean that's NOT a naturally occurring lime pit down there?

[Lawrence]

Barry says:

BANG and the guilt is gone!

[Stuart Halliday]

You can buy it any where

You lot do know you can buy Hydrogen peroxide in most Chemist shops for less than 99p right?

It's a powerful oxidiser (that's cleaner to you) and leaves only water and oxygen behind..

Add a teaspoon of bicarbonate of sodium from Tesco (look in the cooking aisle) for a few pennies and you're ready to commit the crime/clean of the century.

I'm amazed so many people have forgotten you don't need to buy £2-3 bottles of cleaners when the basic chemicals, which are readily available, are pennies.