back to article Forgotten what an egg looks like? We can help

Hot on the heels of the Beeb's "just exactly where is England?" shocker, we have a further example of news outlets' occasional need to really spell it out to readers. Yes indeed, try this cracker from the News & Star website, gleaned from an article entitled EXTRA POLICE DRAFTED TO CRACK KESWICK EGG-THROWING CASE: News and …


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  1. Anonymous Coward


    So that's where I've been going wrong... no wonder my scrambled egg on toast doesn't seem to work quite right; let alone when I try to fry them... to think, I've been using the wrong thing all this time!

  2. Natalie Gritpants
    Thumb Up

    What a nice place Keswick is.

    The kids there don't do drugs, don't throw bottles, don't burn cars and don't drop bricks onto trains.

  3. Britt Johnston
    Black Helicopters

    international conspiracy?

    The object doesn't seem to meet the EU standards. It is missing a stamp, and should look like this...

  4. Anonymous Coward

    Wrong caption!

    It should surely have read "An egg, yesterday" in homage to Private Eye, for whom this has been a running gag for many many years.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Uhhh, horrible puns!!

    see title

  6. Ian Ferguson
    Paris Hilton

    What exactly do you expect them to illustrate the article with?

    An anchovy?

  7. RichardB

    aye Johan

    Eggree they have been most eggstravagant on the pun front.

  8. Anonymous Coward

    Very helpful

    But I'm afraid it only raises more questions. If THAT'S an egg, what the hell were we throwing?

  9. gigitrix


    I can't decide: Whoever said "cracked the case" either needs a medal or shooting!

    I now know why all my cooking recipes have been going wrong: I thought an egg was that powdery thingy!

  10. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    @Wrong caption

    Ha. Beat me to it. At least I can add that Viz also used the caption template from time to time.

  11. Anonymous Coward

    Which came first?

    The egg, or the news and star egg?

  12. Anonymous Coward

    Ok.. so we're going down this route are we?


    Next stop, we'll be commenting on Google being like google.....

  13. Stefan
    Paris Hilton

    Not just in Keswick!

    I opened my door lastnight just a little so I could have a sly fag (smoke) and was shocked to have an egg launched at me from behind my house. So it happens in HULL too! I bet it wasn't free range as I do live on an estate full of Netto shoppers!

    Paris.... as I'd like to do something with her eggs and I bet she could get anyone to come out of their "shell"!

    Hehe.. Its a cracker!

  14. Colonel Panic

    That's no stock photo...

    ...its plod's e-fit.

  15. David Edwards

    Missed opportunity

    Definitley a Bacon and Eggs joke in there somewhere.

  16. Thomas


    So what have you been usi....never mind.

  17. Steven Raith

    The answer to the problem

    .177* air rifle, and a good, well set scope.

    Hope that helps :-)

    Steven R

    *powerful enough to hurt, not powerful enough to cause major damage to any fleshy parts, but don't aim for the head....

  18. Simon

    Along similar lines . . .

    Anyone else noticed web forms where you are asked things like -

    Age: (e.g. 22)


    Town: (e.g. Colchester)

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    The runny stuff on my windows doesn't look like that round brown thingy, so it must be something else they threw at me...

  20. Duncan Hare

    Eggsaclty what is the problem?

    The eggs were not rotten.

  21. Secretgeek

    Don't know what the fuss is about.

    I'd be a lot more concerned about the fruit the kids are throwing.

    Pineapple through your window?

    Mango related impact injury?

    Star fruit has some quite point edges.



  22. TeeCee Gold badge


    Rumour has it that the army have now been called in and they're using shells!

    Intial reports indicate serious casualties in a friendly fryer incident....

  23. RW
    Paris Hilton

    Where is the Register's sense of humor?

    If El Reg is going to reprint the story & pic of an egg, I would have expected a photo gallery of other, better egg pictures, by gum!

    Paris...just because!

  24. Tim Schomer

    @The answer to the problem

    better still, aim for the eggs when they're about to throw them.


    Wonder how long before the government insiste that you need proof of ID before you can purchase these dangerous weapons?


    Mines the one in the nice duck egg - err - yellow?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Giant omelette

    Perhaps we could have an egg amnesty - and it could go to a good cause!

  26. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    If you carry an egg ...

    ... can you be imprisoned without charge for 42 days?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    @ Tim Schomer

    In Cheltenham you cannot buy eggs unless you are over 18, or maybe its 16. The Jet Garage has a notice on the door from the local plod saying so.... no honestly, it does.

  28. This post has been deleted by its author

  29. Marvin the Martian

    @ <If THAT'S an egg, what the hell were we throwing?>

    Q: <<But I'm afraid it only raises more questions. If THAT'S an egg, what the hell were we throwing?>>

    A: Simple, according to the article: fruit.

  30. ThinkingOutLoud

    Age limits

    Are the local shops in Keswick selling eggs to children under age? Do they not know the penalty for selling prohibited goods? What? Eggs are not prohibited yet?

    No wonder this country is going down the pan. Next thing we know it will be impossible to collect firewood from our local forest. What?...

  31. Ross Fleming Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    @ Steven Raith

    Need help clarifying, are you advising me to aim at the eggs (PULLL!!) or the hoodie-donned-chav acting as the egg launcher?

    Think I'll go for the latter - is probably easier and much more effective (and satisfying?)

  32. J


    Now, that pic does not look too realistic to me, for some reason...

  33. Chris G Silver badge

    Eggnorance is no eggscuse

    It looks as though it is not eggseptionally dangerous, I think the piolice are ovumreacting.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Please, no more egg puns...

    ...un oeuf already.

    Paris for the French connection.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    @Steven Raith

    "but don't aim for the head...."

    Ha least, don't aim for the big head.

    So why isn't local undercover plod hanging out at the local grocers? Numpties.

    Paris, 'cos I would check her eggs a few times.

  36. Simon Brown

    so they've had to shell out for extra patrols?

    They catch the culprits before the story's ova...

    Do you have an icon for really bad puns?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Google Earth is evil

    The scallys are using Google Earth to navigate the back streets!

  38. Anonymous Coward

    It's a new Govt initiative

    We've all got it wrong - this is actually a new Government food distribution campaign - they just need to work on the delivery. When tried in France, residents quickly said they'd had an oeuf.

    Re-name to The Eggister??

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