back to article Paris ups sticks to London

Here's some excellent news for El Reg's enormous Paris Hilton fanbase: The extravagantly talented heiress has declared she's decamping to London, having already spent a month here slumming it in a £7,500-a-month Hampstead pad while filming a show for MTV. Ms Hilton cooed to the Daily Mail: "I love it here, I am going to move …


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  1. Jerome


    "Our Paris has wasted no time marking her new territory."

    Yeah, I think I saw that movie.

  2. Sam
    Thumb Down

    no title

    There goes the neighbourhood...

  3. Sceptical Bastard
    Paris Hilton

    Poor deal

    We lose Madonna and get Paris instead? Not much of a swap is it? How far does this trade extend? Does Guy Ritchie get to screw Paris?

    One waste of oxygen for another, some might say - and I'd be with them.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    She'll be in good company!

    Kerry Katona

    Jade Goody

    Katie Price

    Tara Palmer-Tompkinson

    All we need is "Posh" (and Britons are supposed to be ironic!) Beckham to come back to complete the set!

  5. Anonymous Coward

    Lipstick and two smoking chiwawa's

    Maybe its me, but wouldn't Guy and Paris make for intresting times?

  6. Dennis
    Paris Hilton

    'I'm much happier here', coos talented heiress

    Hasn't Paris been disinherited so the tag line for this story is terribly out of date.

    Come on Reg! Keep up

    And of course who else could it be......................................

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    And thus ...

    ... we see more evidence of another one of nature's physical laws: the law of conservation of celebrities.

  8. Skyraker

    Skills Shortage

    This is the good immigration they're talking about amirite?

  9. Anonymous Coward


    And who says this skankrag can move to London? Are there not immigration controls?

    We don't need another service leeching benefits whore in London!!

    Keep her out!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    First something to drag you feet first into my historical context:

    Now the coup de grace:

    "I once skanked a man, who felt up a girl, who was dissed by the Prince of Wales"

    Now the uncomfortable confession:

    I think i have just demonstrated exactly why i have been a cultural outsider for all of my thirty years...

  11. Joe K
    Paris Hilton


    I have to laugh at any El Reg newbies baffled by the Paris stories on an IT site.

    Why not i say.

    And i second my vote for Lohan as a celebtard understudy.

  12. Neil

    Goes to show

    That we really need to firm up the Immigration policy in this country. If this was Tory rule - no way would she get in!

  13. dervheid

    Make her welcome until..

    she's been parted from as much cash as possible (she could probably bail Gordo out single handed) , then she can go.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She failed to grab the attentions of the princes...

    Because they're not even in the country at the moment. They're both in Africa, raising money for four charities.

    Goes to show she doesn't read Auntie Beeb.

  15. Aram


    A truly great word.

    I, for one, welcome our new celebutard overlords.

  16. DZ-Jay

    Ha! Ha!

    From America I say to you: Good luck with that!


  17. Chris Matchett

    Paris ups sticks to the hilt

    ... to the eyeballs

    ... to the William Tell Overture


  18. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    New word?

    Great new word usage... Celebutard

    Almost makes me think they can be moulded into custard...

  19. Rory Webber

    RE: 'I'm much happier here', coos talented heiress

    Surely it's the 'talented' part that invalidates the title?

  20. Neil Greatorex
    Paris Hilton


    Takes all the fun out of guessing the name of her next sprog.

    Roehampton Hilton.

    You heard it here first :-)

    Celebutard? Nah, Skanktard.

  21. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. kissingthecarpet

    Goes To Show ? Yeah,right

    @Neil - Is your comment sarcasm? If it isn't, which previous Tory government used to bar rich 'merkins from the UK? I don't remember one, in fact I distinctly remember them crawling up the US's arse whenever they could, just the same as the current lot do.

    Everyone I've ever met who remembered Tory rule with nostalgia, seemed to be confusing their personal relative happiness ('cos they were younger, or had a better job, or a better shag) with the actual affect that Tory policies had upon their own life, which was often in fact negative.

    Jolly Roger - because they are all scumbags...

  23. Rick
    Paris Hilton

    She's Pretty much....

    screwed anyone that matters in the US of A why not take a jont over the pond and spread the goodwill....

    >/ She knows all about goodwill!!!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Gordons new

    immigration controls fail dismally......

  25. DAN*tastik

    London awaits you

    I for one welcome our new attractive leg-overlord.

    I sincerely hope it's not the end of Simple Life though, I would find that devastating

    Paris in London. Oh my God, that's so, like, ( flaming ) hot

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    That incident was simply a matter of class..

    It was a matter of class because the princes should have had the style and grace to just say hello and then get on with whatever they were doing.

    They proved themselves tellingly to be without the grace or class - like little children.

    I think Paris would do well ignoring them completely, the UK clique isn't exactly worth mingling with anyway unless you look like part of a horse, the whole inbred lot of them.

    Yeah, I'll have my coat now, thanks. It's the one without the horse hair, cheers.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down


    Yet more London-centric drivel from southern pooftas.

    Tell her to move to Manc, she'd love that A LOT more!

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Vote for Paris.

    Welcome to your spiritual home, baby. Pop down to your local Job Centre and check out the vacancies.

    "Government seeks bright, uninhibited, dumb bimbo to replace empty headed, ageing female ideologue. Apply in writing to the Home Office."

    I know you don't need the money, but think of the power-tripping. Yours for the asking, kiddo.

  29. Peyton

    There's a quota??

    Speaking from the US side of the pond, I have to ask: Can we please, Please, PLEASE get this quota raised??

  30. Mike Smith

    An Awful Warning to the Yank-bashers

    Let this be a lesson to you all. Be nice to our American friends or they'll line up the heavy artillery. We could end up with Britney Spears, Scrawny Spice*, Lindsay Lohan, Pamela Anderson and Christina Aguilera.

    And unless Mr Chips wins next month, they could even saddle us with Sarah Palin.

    *Yes, I know Scrawny Spice originally hails from over here, but she's saved us the cost of transportation.

  31. mutt1170

    @why not take a jont over the pond and spread the goodwill....

    As long as that's ALL she spreads while she's jaunting well over here!!

    Keep the lower appendage jokes to yourself. They ain't big and they ain't clever - the jokes that is not her legs....

  32. StillNoCouch

    You're Welcome !

    Ah ha ! Our master plan is working !

    First we export "the Paris" ... then "the Lohan" followed by "the Spears" ...


    "I'm proud to be an American, where now we're Paris-free.

    You can't give her back you're stuck with her now, and boy we pitty thee.

    And I'd proudly stand up one more time, and send you a few more twits ...

    ... for there ain't no way on God's green earth --- you could grow such perfect ___ !

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    Celebrity + Retard = Celebritard, surely..?

    And the Nostrodamus award for future prediction goes to.... Jimmy Somerville for "Communards"... Obviously something to do with communists and retards. I would say that he also predicted the "when you pirate MP3s you're downloading communism" poster too, but then I realized that no-one has ever downloaded any of his work :-D

  34. Sceptical Bastard

    @ "celebutard" - do keep up

    Keep up at the back!

    This particular neologism has been circulating on El Reg's comments for weeks. Anyway, the word is 'celebretard' - a combination of 'celebrity' and 'retard'. The clue is in the shared 'rit' sound in the middle, geddit? Inserting a 'u' sound simply misses the point.

    Tell 'em, Sarah.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    New El Reg writer?

    Now that Paris is in London it would be a good idea to add her as a writer for El Reg... you know when BOFH is not in...

  36. jake Silver badge

    I was wondering ...

    ... why the average IQ here in California seemed to have risen a couple points in the last couple of weeks. Hopefully the talentless aging strumpet Ms. Ciccone will stay east of the Mississippi ...

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    Where's the Paris angle???

    Now, Paris in London... that's one "file system check"ed geography lesson!!!

  38. Lupus


    Nay, 'tis indeed Celebutard, an amalgam of celebrity, debutante, and retard.

  39. Fozzy
    Paris Hilton

    Now, now

    Calm yourselves.

    Yes, Paris is known to have the intelligence of a doorknob.

    Yes, Paris has been accused of being a waste of oxygen and organic matter.

    Yes, she may have all the social graces and etiquette of a wildeebeast

    Yes, she has starred in a couple of home made videos that has raised more than the occassional eyebrow

    Yes she may have even had the occassional public drinking binge that's ended badly,

    and yes, Paris tendeds to flash more than her pearly whites at public events as long as there isare plenty of cameras around.

    But damnit we at el! Reg have lovingly adopted her as a mascot (of sorts). So please have a bit more respect for our dimiwtted, alcohol swilling, pussy flashing, skanky amateur p0rn star, OK.

  40. Richard


    So she's withdrawn her campaign then? Damn...

  41. kain preacher

    Lets give them

    OJ, John McCain, Sarah Palin, rush, Bill O'relly , Paully Shore.

  42. Anonymous Coward



    yeah, the paris hilton life style would be well suited to you lot up there. her idea of class is along the same lines as a pikey winning the lottery. so should fit in well.

    Her 'n' that catona bird could swap baby making tips too.

  43. Mr Larrington
    Black Helicopters


    My grate frend Bambi can't get a US visa at all and we let *that* into BRITAIN? Which slacker is in charge of the drawbridge these days?

  44. John Grasett

    Leave Canada Out of This!

    @Mike Smith - Pamela is Canadian! ThankYouVeryMuch for leaving us out of the Celebutard sweepstakes.

  45. Stratman

    @Anonymous Coward 'Northeners'

    "Her 'n' that catona bird could swap baby making tips too."

    What do you get when you cross a celebutard with a nonebrity?

    Answers on a postcard......

  46. Jos

    @jake - average IQ

    minor correction... average IQ is always 100, which oddly enough means that if a person with an IQ lower than 100 leaves your area, and you are above 100, your IQ will actually come DOWN.

    So you can thank Paris for handing you a lower IQ..

    If you have 2 persons, person A with an IQ of 80, and person B with an IQ of 120 (to make the average IQ of 100), and person A is removed, person B will now have an IQ of 100.

    Hope that brightened up your day :-)


  47. jake Silver badge


    Trust a mathematician to over analyze throw away pseudo humor ...

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