Get the BOFH in there as well.
In our second extract of Bringing Nothing To The Party, entrepreneurial chancer Paul Carr finds himself enviably ensconced in a swanky Hertfordshire hotel at the pleasure of Google. But will he make it out alive? The trouble started with one of those emails that you assume must be the result of an administrative error. Dear …
I'm sorry, but lets look at the facts...
1) You failed to close the deal on "Emma".
2) You got Google and some Aussie peeved at a joke that went over their heads.
3) You should have thought about a more convincing line before the "they're going to kill us".
4) You forgot the first rule of the "spy game". You get the girl and everyone around you to get drunk while you stay relatively sober. This way, you keep a clear head about you so you can take advantage of the situation.
Oh and in hindsight, you could have diffused the situation by asking the "Californian" if he knew the song "Hotel California". If he said no, then tell him he needs to do a penalty shot and to go google the lyrics up on the 'net. Tell him to look for the verse "You can always check out but you can never leave." Tell him that you're having a swell time as such a swank place, and that you feel like you're staying at the hotel California. Then tell him he needs a second penalty shot for interrupting your conversation with "Emma".
Then you could have gone back to "Emma" had your conversation, and maybe closed the deal.
C'mon man! Where's your game!