back to article Canada sex shop heist shafts proprietress

Spare a kinky kind thought for one Wicked Wanda this Friday - the Canadian sex shop owner has been robbed of vibrators to the tune of $2,000. Two sticky light-fingered blighters swiped the joysticks from Wicked Wanda's Adult Emporium in Ottawa at around 2.30am on Thursday morning, cnews reports. However, 41-year-old Wanda …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Echowitch
    Paris Hilton

    Giggidy giggidy giggidy goo

    lol what a fantastic opportunity to cram as many innuendo's in as possible lol

    Loved the sticky fingers reference Sarah lol

    Paris because she's knows all about sticky stuff ;)

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    "How do you get rid of vibrators?"

    Sell at local Car Butt sale?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    where is the link to the ...

    12-page analysis of the Icelandic bank crisis??

  4. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: where is the link to the ...

    My apologies. I'll go back and add it in for anyone who wants to read it.

  5. TheThing
    Stop

    "Naughty things merchant"?

    Did the lude-o-generator pack up or something?

  6. Dick Lovewell

    The link for

    the 12-page analysis of the Icelandic bank crisis?: www.theyrefucked-werefucked-everybodysfucked.com.

    (Or was that the sex shop's url?)

  7. Brett Harris
    Thumb Up

    Can you imagine...

    ..them being caught. And the clerk reading the charges in court!!!!!

  8. Adrian Jones
    Heart

    So what...

    ...if it isn't news. We love you for it anyway.

  9. Simon Painter
    Thumb Up

    Sarah...

    I love you.

  10. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Happy

    Tech angle?

    Maybe you should have included a line wondering if the unfortunate lady stocked the USB vibrator (I kid you not!) as seen at http://gadgets.fosfor.se/the-top-10-weirdest-usb-devices-ever/ (strangely, the wife said she'd rather have the USB slippers....).

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A recovering epileptic writes

    Couldn't seem to get past page 1 of the 12 page analysis of the Icelandic terror attack.

  12. Jolyon Ralph
    Happy

    Icelandic Bank analysis

    I think that link would be better captioned as "Free online epilepsy test!"

  13. dervheid
    Joke

    Maybe they want them for...

    that well known alternative bar 'sport' of "vibrator racing"!

    (Hmmmm. Hmm-hmm-hmm hmm-hmm hmm-hmm-hmm hmm....)

  14. Nicholas Ettel
    Coat

    Sarah

    Has anyone else noticed that the lovely Ms. Bee here gets all the lewd, "naughty" articles? I'm forced to come to the conclusion that Sarah is El Reg's certified sexcapade expert. One would suppose that would make for an interesting work environment, to say the least.

    @Echowitch -- innuendos aren't the only thing getting crammed in.

    Mine's the one that's ribbed for my pleasure.

  15. Louis

    Re: where is the link to the ...

    Blimey, rick roll'd 2004 style!!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    I'm curious

    What did she mean by "the German stuff"?

    The stuff they took, yep, understood that. Butt-plugs, seahorses, yep, makes sense. But just "the German stuff"? My imagination reels, but the only one that might get past the moderators is "Paris Hilton, wearing nothing but Leiderhosen, being hosed down with lager" (then I run out of racial stereotypes). I think I'd have skipped it too...

    Mine's the one with a Bunny and some poppers in the pocket (what do you mean "that isn't what a rampant rabbit is"?)

  17. Michael McLean

    YEAAHH!!!

    giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity GOOOOOOOO

  18. Anonymous John
    Joke

    Should be easy for the police to solve.

    With a crime like this, there should be some sort of buzz on the streets.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    over in Ireland...

    we have a creche called sticky fingers. Have always wondered what the deal with that was!

  20. Elmer Phud

    Not a cock up

    Not exactly daylight rubbery, then? Not even a stick-up. Just breaking and entering.

    Obviously the work of blokes as I would expect discerning females to snatch the quality items.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm disappointed ...

    ... that the Bootnotes weren't Booty Notes, and (seeing as Sarah wrote it) that there was not one single 'boffinry'.

    The robbers were obviously hard men. I have to ask, though, was the member of the press completely satisfied or did he feel a little stiffed on landing this assignment? I can't help but think that this story can only be a plug for Wanda's business, but then again maybe it's a pain in the butt - it depends on the angle.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I am truly disappointed

    I have been waiting for El Reg to do something about the idiots over at mtv and you lost the opportunity.

    I refer of course to http://ema.mtv.co.uk/news/

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    German stuff

    AC - by 'German stuff' I think the proprietress means the exceptionally high-quality silicone toys produced by our Teutonic friends. Instead of the cheap, rubbery, end-of-pier novelty stuff produced everywhere else, the Krauts have applied Vorchsprung Durch Technik to vibes and dildos to create some outstanding gear.

    http://www.funfactory.de/uk/ if you're interested in this sort of thing! (NSFW obviously)

    Geekette

  24. Andrew Norton
    Pirate

    eh?

    "not especially sex-toy-friendly Georgia, USA"

    Based on what?

    There's adverts for some stores on the radio stations, even during 'drive time' (used to be common on the now defunct 99X) and just outside Macon, I seem to remember a billboard next to the interstate advertising one there. Ok, there might be limited alcohol sales on Sundays, and more churches than even God can count (in my town of 270 people, there's NINE churches! By contrast, I think thats as many churches still in use in the West Derby and Tuebrook areas of Liverpool, where I grew up) but sex-toy-unfriendly? Hardly. The wives of the 'good-ol-boys' need something to make up for the lack of skill of their partners - heck they make Bottom's Richard Richard look like Hugh Heffner

  25. Dave
    Happy

    Check

    "... binding the employees with the very handy black fur handcuffs ..."

    Are you sure that was done as part of the robbery?

  26. Jeremy

    Georgia not sex shop friendly?

    You gotta be kidding me! Try driving up I-75 from Florida where there are huge billboards advertising everything from sex shops to topless bars to not-so-discrete "massage" services every few hundred feet. Oh and if you're worried, there's always the one that tells you where to get a cheap vasectomy before you go....

  27. Mike Moyle Silver badge

    Errrr....

    @ Echowitch -- cram innuendo...? OW!

    @ Brett Harris "...the clerk reading the charges in court!!!!!"

    Some years ago, when local prosecutors were trying to close down some of the dirty bookstores, they would raid the places, confiscate a couple boxes full of books and magazines and try to get them declared offensively obscene.

    Of course, before they went to trial, they had to list the details of the trial in the "legal notices" section of the classified ads in all of the local newspapers, notifying anyone who wanted to comment on the matter at hand to contact the court. This generally resulted in four-column-inch-long adverts -- in VERY small type -- listing such titles as... well, you can probably imagine... without any ellipses or asterisks to conceal the ruder words (since it WAS a legal notice).

    I always wondered what the clerks working the Classified Ads desk, or the newspapers' typesetters thought when those ads came in the door!

  28. Dr. E. Amweaver
    Paris Hilton

    I demand... a Playmobil reconstruction!

    ...featuring Paris.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    But were they...

    ...hardened criminals?

  30. Peter Gold badge

    @ I'm curious

    Thanks for that typo - "Leiderhosen" is a IMHO destined to be a classic for anyone understanding a bit of German.

    The word is "Lederhosen", but Leiderhosen is soo much better given what they are. (Leider is sort of equivalent to "alas" :-). Quality!

  31. Graham

    What's all this, then?

    No sex, eh? We're Canucks.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    @ Sarah Bee

    As per the opening title, what do I have to do to get more from you?

  33. Trix
    Paris Hilton

    The German stuff

    There are some bloody awesome sex toys made by an outfit called FunFactory in Germany. Groovy designs, nice colours (not fake-penis pink), top quality silicone (not cheap hard plastics), and powerful little motors. At least, so I've been told. *cough* They also cost significantly more than the cheap crap, and have a recognised brandname, so obviously the thieves had no clue, whether it was for self-entertaining or on-selling.

    Paris, because she probably doesn't know about FunFactory toys either.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021