back to article BOFH: Unfriendly ghosts

"But why can't we visit the site?" the Boss bleats one morning when we shoot his idea of seeing the ghost facility down. "It's a defence site," I lie. "They host defence computers as well as stuff for companies like us. They're probably not allowed to show people through their server rooms." "We should just turn up …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Nice one, Simon!

    Gassing The Boss /and/ a Beancounter - a welcome return to the classic storylines!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Halon is a greenhouse gas

    Will the release Halon be recaptured for recycling by the Halon Recycling Corporation?

  3. Paul Murphy
    Paris Hilton

    Thud, Thud, glug, glug,

    As Boss and Bean Counter:

    1) pass out,

    2) get filled with alcohol,

    3) dragged back to city center and dropped off the back of the van.

    Hopefully they'll forget about the ghost facility - otherwise next time they won't be waking up.

    nice one :-)

    Where's the PH angle though?


  4. John

    Halon: you know it's good for you.

    I love the smell of Halon in the morning.

  5. Richard Thomas

    Back on top form

    Not that there was anything wrong with recent episodes of course, but the Boss and head Beancounter going down in a cloud of Halon has a nice nostalgic feel to it :D

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    What are they doing with Halon? I want some carbon dioxide!


  7. Tom Cook
    Thumb Up

    Friday afternoon fun

    Well, I think we all knew how that was going to end. The only question: Will it be the 'terrible accident' in the stair well? Perhaps the 'faulty' freight elevator descending at high speed? Or the three-phase door handles for 'security reasons'? The 'cry for help'... on the way down from the fifth floor window?

    No, it's the halon release. A bit last-century, but still a classic.

  8. Jay
    Thumb Up


    good ol halon :D

    gas masks at the ready

  9. Andrew Jones

    Do Not

    Feed the troll.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Predictable as ever

    Ahh.... Jim the Boss.

    Right on queue. Slightly weak bait though. You're normally better.

  11. Isotope

    Classic BOFH

    "I have a rough plan of them being hooded (for 'security reasons') at night (to 'coincide with shift changes') bundled in the back of a van and driven around local streets for half an hour "

    mmmmmmm, my idea of a good night out ;)

    A nice return to where we grew to love you.

  12. Duckorange
    Paris Hilton

    Poor Jim the Boss

    Satire, old bean, is something you either have or don't have. Guess which category you fall under?

  13. mego


    Reminds me of an older one where the BoFH and PFY dressed up the basement to look like a welsh cold site?

  14. Stuart
    Thumb Up


    You know it is a good BOFH day when they off the boss and a beancounter!

    Made my Friday, thanks!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Jim The Boss

    Did your monkey type that?

  16. Steve Williamson
    Thumb Up

    Oh Noes!

    Someone fed the troll!!

    Nice "old skool" episode though!!

  17. Nicholas Ettel

    I <3 JIM

    Jim's comments always make me chuckle.

  18. Anonymous Coward

    @Jim the Boss

    You're right, you need a real BOSS to properly cock up something, can't rely on the geeks for the really scary stuff. Just like a boss I know who seriously jeopardised his chances of closing a contract for an 8 figure value yesterday because he couldn't be bothered to attend an essential technical meeting nor ensure the right people were attending. Being on the customer's side, I had a great time at that meeting.

  19. gr1bb


    Fight the relocation!

  20. Richard

    a title is required

    I live in luton and i think i know of the place they are talking about, right next to the cemetary coincidentally

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RE: Halon: you know it's good for you

    What's with the flame icon? There's no chance of flames around that server room with the trigger-happy PFY on the halon release :-)

    I do seem to remember a similar story visiting their co-lo sites a few years ago though... not that I'm complaining of course (ticks anon button for fear of an empty file share in the morning)

    Ah here it is - my memory is alarmingly good:

    Search the page for "disaster recovery blues"

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lorraine Chase?

    please, gas <I>me</I> so i never need to go back to Luton

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    Glad to see the Halon being used as a "creative solution" to this particular technical issue. I thought it was a little too mild though. I mean, relocation to Luton? <shudder> They didn't suffer for long enough.

    I can think of worse of course - working in Luton for a boss of JIM's calibre (I wonder if trolls like bananas?)

  24. MarkP

    Halon Release Charges?

    I just hope the BOFH and PFY remember to charge the company for the cleanup and recharging required after the accidental Halon release caused by the overheated racks igniting some of the unauthorised equipment taken into the server room by the former Head Beancounter.

  25. mittfh

    Wondered when Jim would rediscover us...

    Since we enjoy Jim so much, I'll give him his lunch :)


    I'm sure we could train monkeys to type your comments - you never know, they may spell slightly better than you...


    So in which dark corners of the net have you been lurking to gain that impression?

    Meanwhile, I've heard the railing at the top of the stairwell is a bit loose - could you go and take a look at it for me, please? I'll just call ahead to maintenance so they can point it out to you...

  26. Anonymous Coward

    erm, i thought there were

    Multiple types of Halon...some of which won't kill you (at least not immediately). you sure that wasn's liquid nitrogen that was released?

  27. Si Lo


    I was laughing at this and trying to explain Halon to a mate when I chanced upon this on Wiki*censored*

    It is considered good practice to avoid all unnecessary exposure to Halon.

    Thanks Wiki for another -jewel- of knowledge. How many lives have been saved by that little snippet?

  28. Mike Smith
    Thumb Up




  29. Geoff Kennedy


    We know that you prefer the type of lass who requires "soft lighting and focus" for a decent holiday snap.

  30. Anonymous Coward

    @Jim the boss

    Havent you noticed what BOSSES have done to the world recently???? ;)

  31. mittfh


    He's probably taking a break from trying to explain to his colleagues exactly how much money his company has invested in a certain Icelandic bank...

    Of course, he could always take a look at that loose stair rail I mentioned a few posts maintenance are ready and waiting to 'point' it out to him...

  32. Bob H

    Halon no more...

    Most new installations aren't using Halon any more, mostly Argonite that I have seen or variations there in.

  33. Anonymous Coward

    Nice One

    My Friday is now complete. The boss and a bean counter in one fell swoop, very nice indeed Simon :-). Ah Halon it does cover a multitude of sins.

  34. Mark

    Another way out

    Would be to say "well, we snuck you in here avoiding security because you DEMANDED to go in and they will not let you. We deliberately avoided security for you. On YOUR orders.

    Breaking and entering a sensitive military establishment? And you're going to ADMIT that???

    Then nod to the bouncer to sap the Boss and Beancounter.

  35. Chris
    Thumb Down

    @JIm the boss

    Pal i would not want to have you for a boss... You can't even spell... Let along handle responsibility... After all managers take decisions about matters they have jack knowledge about and leave it to the footsoldiers to make their mess right...

    So Jim the boss back to grade school for learning to spell!

  36. Dalen
    Thumb Up

    Finally, someone gets Halon'd.

    This Boss has been alive for far too long.

  37. J

    Feeding trolls?

    Before doing that, always remember:

  38. Anonymous Coward


    Illiterate, stupid, probably thinks he runs the company by playing Solitaire...

    You don't work in West Drayton do you?

  39. Anonymous Coward


    This can't be good for the BOFH...

    mine's the one with the pub card in the pocket.

  40. Gerrit Tijhof
    Thumb Up


    AFAIK Halon (or BCF's) has been banned for newly installs, but current installs might apply for refills (in some countries). But mostly it's nontoxuc inert gases nowadays.

    Nice BOFH Simon, good one to enter the weekend with :) Are we going to experience the unmet potentials of the bulk-eraser by the way somewhen? Ah, gotta love the goood old bulk-eraser. Retro BOFH!

  41. Volker Hett
    Dead Vulture

    @Jim the Boss

    Pardon me, but since you're a connoisseur of fine wine and I recently got that vat of Amontillado, would you like to join me in the cellar and give me an assessment?

    You know I'm not as experienced as you are and I might have spent to much on it.

  42. tony trolle

    Luton ?

    They built that new technology park then.

    Well drugs and women are cheap only bonus.

  43. Anonymous Coward

    Wrong location

    They should have used the story of the data centre that will happily oblige if you need physical access to a server... by grabbing the server, inserting explosives and thus destroying the server... they then give you the remains to take off site.

    I just can't remember where that data centre was.

  44. Halo

    Same shit again

    Predictable and boring. The early stuff was good, the later stuff had a good story line, now it's "have a scam, have it discovered, have someone killed". I can't be bothered to wright more beyond BOFH has become shit, flame away.

    On the good side, el reg seems to have got better with it's reporting over the last year.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    You'd think they'd learn their lesson by now... :shakesheadsadly:

    Ah, well, Darwin wins again. It's survival of the fittest - and the Boss wasn't fit anymore...

  46. Francis Offord
    Gates Halo


    They got further in that configuration than they would have done with me

  47. Niall Campbell


    No I don't, they are an awful skinhead band, much prefer to listen to Stiff Little Fingers or Cocksparrer.

    If he had a brain he would be dangerous.

  48. Anonymous Coward

    @Wrong location

    Was it havenco/sealand who offered that particular service?

  49. Matt Bryant Silver badge

    RE: Richard and tony trolle

    RE: Richard - move to Luton? Having lived and worked there I can only say suffocation by halon is too good a punsihment for such a suggestion!

    RE: tony trolle - "....Well drugs and women are cheap only bonus...." Have you seen the women in Luton? Seriously, you'd need the drugs first!

  50. Turbo Beholder
    IT Angle

    So... yeah.

    Details are awesome (as always), but really... reiterative redundancy is a bit too obvious


    Sorry, i don't buy this trollbeard. Tacking's just *too* good for such a flat-bottomed boat, see? So... question is, for whom ye work? ARK?.. MRLP?.. SKL?.. :]

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