back to article Reg reader completely loses the plot

There was time when incoherent rage was directed solely at we poor Reg hacks, long before the days of Democracy 2.0 and our ill-advised decision to allow the hoi polloi to chip their two bits' worth into the hotly-debated topics of the day. Well, we're delighted to offer you this crisp autumn afternoon an outburst worthy of …


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  1. John Bayly

    Easy to find out who wrote that

    It's the guy that went postal this week.

    He wore button-down, Oxford-cloth shirts.and stalked from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. Some of us may even have known him for years.

    In fact, it could have been someone very, very close to some of us.

  2. Liam
    Thumb Up

    damn - busted... lol

    not really me...

    what a tool!

    i cite:

    "Yorkshirepudding - abandon ship me harties yaaarr - well the fact you cant spell hearties correct makes me want to take on board you advice, could you ell me what schools you went to so I never send my kids there"

    can't, correctly, your, tell

    i would also agrue there really isnt a correct spelling of hearties.. since there were so many spellings of wrods back from those days. we cant just use shakespear for this as he made words rhyme by changing spellings iirc

    "What a pointless and poorly reported story, I'm not surprised this Hack reporter can only get a job working for a shitty website. as for some of your comments, dam you people need life's fucking retards," - i cant even start on this one! FAIL! and go back to school!

    "either way it makes as much sense a stroke victim" - hmmm dark but i do like that one... sorry but i never said i didnt have bad taste lol

    "so how many company's have you worked for that have party's on Guy Fawkes night or are you just taking shit so you can pretend to sound like you have a point to make, what a cock"

    party, parties, party's (although not sure something could belong to a party exactly lol).... company companies, company's - not rocket science is it.

    i do have to wonder what's up with the nation. im an ex space-cadet who never listened opr worked hard at school - yet on the reg we see some dreadful use of grammar... dont people know how to read n write any more? (i know i dont capitalise etc... im lazy... bum i know tenses hehe)

    keep it up reg... keep up the none-it angle stories (we arent all geeks who like nothing more that knowing about a new linux kernel or a new flangegasket that will change the world)

  3. Geraint Jones


    'Nuff said.

    Did he leave his coat on the way out?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Murphy's Law

    There is a well known corollary to Murphy's law that any post criticising the spelling of another post will be incorrectly spelled.

    However in this case we have reached a new level. A post flaming several other posters for posting shite is in fact almost totally incoherent shite.

    Well done. I really hope this idiot posts a lot more frequently in future.

  5. Damn Yank
    Thumb Up

    you complete f*cking spunk bubble

    Love it! That'll be my standard retort here at the office next week...

    Almost as good as the old SNL "Jane you ignorant slut"

    Happy Friday!

  6. Anonymous Coward


    I think it's a bit unfair having a pop at the general reg readers regarding spelling; the flamer couldn't even use an apostrophie properly!

    Tut tut:

    "worked for that have party's"


    "worked for that have partys" :-)

  7. jimbarter


    i believe that is all

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ John Bayly

    The first rule of FoTW is you do not talk about FoTW, the second rule of FoTW is you do NOT talk abot FoTW

  9. Anonymous Coward

    Sort yourselves out or the Moderatrix will, well, you know...

    Sorry, I actually don't know. Could you send me a jpeg?

  10. Robajob

    Imagine my disappointment

    ...when the one comment wasn't from the guy (I'm guessing) who posted the original foaming-mouth toss. Brilliant stuff though. The man is truly the voice of modern Britain, and I'm not just taking shit.


    By the way, "the hoi polloi?" Tsk - surely everyone knows that "hoi" means "the"? well the fact you cant speek ainchent greek correct makes me want to take on board you advice, could you ell me what schools you went to so I never send my kids there

  11. StillNoCouch
    Thumb Up

    @ Damm Yank

    I believe, it's actually, "Jane, you ugly, misguided Slut".


    "spunk bubble" ... totally awesome !

    May I be the first to nominate this one for FOTY ?

  12. Andrew Macdonald

    @ Spelling

    I think you meant apostrophe?

  13. RW

    I'm heartbroken

    Here I waste hours carefully polishing my prose, sprinkling references to Our Divine Moderatrix over the result in order to assure both piquancy and flavor, and what do I get? Ignored, that's what I get. Boo hoo fucking hoo.

  14. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    The Matrix is just like the usual user-generated Web Content, Mr Anderson...

    Mr. Smith must have been frothing like that for himself while observing the unsuspecting humans living in the invisible prison with him. Ah yes.

  15. Mad Hacker
    Jobs Horns

    So is this...

    So am I currently posting a comment on an article of a comment of comments on an article? Or am I merely posting a comment on comments of comments of an article? Because I'm getting confused.

  16. bob
    Thumb Up


    best fotw for some time

  17. Solomon Grundy

    As Much Sense as A Stroke Victim

    Hahahahah. Hahahaha. That's classic!

  18. Shakje

    Re: Spelling?

    Pure legend:

    "Tut tut:

    "worked for that have party's"


    "worked for that have partys" :-)"

    Also to the above poster, party's works fine, "party's balloons", "party's music", or even "the party's great" if you want to get away from the possessive. Of course you could also have "the party's way was blocked" :-)

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    Just out of curiousity what is she doing for Halloween?

    I have a couple of tickets for Antichrist.....

  20. Anomalous Cowherd Silver badge

    The Hoi Polloi...

    ... wahey! That didn't take long. Allow me to decimate your argument, Robajob: We are speaking English, not Greek. Thank you for your time.


    Go on, do it. Correct my use of "decimate". You know you want to.

  21. The Other Steve

    @ John Bayly :-)

    "stalked from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine"

    Oooh, la de da! Aren't you the posh one. All we had round our way was cheap Chinese AK knock offs, and we were pleased just to have _that_!

    Tip for would be gun toting sKoolSassins : Despatching your appalling brat class-mates and facist scum mind controlling teachers to meet their maker in a witheringly righteous hail of NATO surplus lead is only big and clever if you walk away alive and free from prosecution. You're all, like, totally doing it wrong, duh! *

    Just blow the place up and then say you were at the dentist that day, m'kay ? Seriously, it's not rocket science.

    Wait a minute, what were we talking about again, oh...

    *No one will ever print that on a T-Shirt for me, humourless bastards.

  22. Rat

    Spunk Bubble

    Seems like the article in question touched a nerve - which pretty much confirms to me that that excruciatingly written vitriol was shat out by one of the top brass at whichever forgettably mediocre telco the article was about.

    The risible spelling and grammar can only be the product of a public school, so clearly his English Master spent too much time penetrating and not enough time educating.

    All in all, 2/10. Your troll-fu is weak, rich wanker. Go back to fucking your employees.

  23. David Frank

    He has gone totally "Rodger Irrelevant" love it!

    I love these flame rants; shame you pulled the comment!

    Would have been fun whatching the responses! :)

    Pingu because now one understands his rants either!

  24. Josh Holman

    4 step plan

    1. Remove all lower case 'l's from the word 'talking'

    2. Remove some other random letters

    2. ??????

    3. PROFIT

  25. Josh Holman

    4 step plan

    1. Remove all lower case 'l's from the word 'talking'

    2. Remove some other random letters

    3. ??????

    4. PROFIT

  26. Sam Green
    Thumb Up

    "Spunk bubble"

    Phenomenal. Just, phenomenal.

  27. Christopher Martin

    "you people need life's fucking retards"

    Ah yes, we all need a few of life's fucking retards every now and then...

    Reg can always make me smile on a Friday :)

  28. Matt Mc
    Thumb Up

    Reg Flamers are Hacks

    I love the fact that every FoTW that gets posted is, ironically, from a hack retard calling El Reg or El Reg's Fanbase "Hacks", "retards", "idiots", and my new favorite "dam you people need life's fucking retards". Nothing says brilliant to someone such as myself as the aforementioned statement. Although... If someone's already said this, I apologize, but if you correct and slightly adjust his statement:

    "Damn, you people needs lives fucking retards." -Most likely what he meant

    "Damn, you people need... (you are) life's fucking retards." -Wildly funny in my head

    Anyway, El Reg is the best. Keep up the mediocre work, it's better than I can do.

  29. Damn Yank

    @ StillNoCouch

    We were both close... From a SNL transcripts web site.

    Season 3: Episode 18

    "Jane, you ignorant, misguided slut!"

  30. Chris

    "Damn, you people needs lives fucking retards."

    Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I definitely need a life fucking retards.

    Did I type that out loud?

  31. John Bayly

    The Other Steve

    When I say an "AR-10 carbine", it was really just a lead pipe, but it was an "AR-10 carbine" to us.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Regarding the comment about Daily Mail readers, I do hope staff at The Reg. aren't completely oblivious to the fact that in the past few years The Reg. has become the IT industry equivalent of the Daily Mail?

    Surely no one at The Register believes this is truly a well respected news site amongst the professional IT community?

  33. vincent himpe

    must be

    a slow news day

  34. An-D
    Black Helicopters


    ..And not a very good one if you ask me..

  35. Chris G

    Where have you been?

    Firstly I am amazed at the number of people who are new to the word spunkbubble, that was the nickname of one of my class mates in the sixties due to his predilection for shall we say distraction in class.

    Secondly, this plotless, vitriolic and tumescent `commentard´is obviously a genius and should be employed immediately as a Daily Mail journalist ( if he is not already one). His work can only be described as :- Beautiful, prosaic and insightful regarding the population of El Reg Commenters at large, a community of which, I proudly, in a humble way, consider myself to be a member of.

  36. radian

    missed rant opportunity

    I can't even begin to imagine what that guy would've thought if Amanfrommars had commented.

  37. Nebulo


    Anyone who can flame like that should have a power station built round him ... this feller's a strong contender for FoTY!

  38. Anonymous Coward

    @The other steve


    No matter how many random capitals you put in the middle of words, you'll never be a patch on the sheer elegance and class that is amanfromMars.

    Give it up now, spunk bubble!

  39. Matt Bradley
    IT Angle


    This guy sounds like a complete twatdangler.

  40. Dave

    Partys, party's...

    You guys are kidding, right?

    All together now: "parties"!

  41. b166er

    You'll take this too far

    and he'll sue for definition of character.

  42. Anonymous Coward


    Well, you spent hours polishing something, but it wasn't your prose....ha.ha.ha.

    Mmmmmmm.....Moderatrix......drooling like homer simpson.

    For a guy who writes "spunk bubble", you just know he's got a "sperm brain©".

  43. This post has been deleted by its author

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    From now on

    It must be Oi! P*lloi! - or sumfink like that

  45. John Doe

    Truly rich, indeed

    I see the poster of the 'interesting comment' seems to be a little lacking in the vocabulary department, if he has to resort to such heavy use of profanity. Might I suggest El Reg consider sending him a brand-new thesarus for Christmas? :-)

  46. Steve
    Thumb Up

    Daily Mail

    "Surely no one at The Register believes this is truly a well respected news site amongst the professional IT community?"

    Well, at Oracle Open World last week, after Larry's keynote, the Oracle website went titsup again. It was amusing to watch all those IT pros in their booths first trying, and then, when they got an error, heading straight for to see what was up with Oracle :)

  47. Sceptical Bastard

    Spunk bubble - that's MINE!

    I have been using spunkbubble (no space) for years and genuinely thought I'd coined the term.

    Now I am devastated! Some other retard has appropriated it and the world (or, rather, the entire readership of El Reg) will think it is his (or her) coinage.

    Time for a bit of pre-emption. I hereby lay sole claim to 'pusbubble' and 'pusbucket' and assert my intellectual right to be regarded as the originator of the terms. Infringements of my copyright will be dealt with severely. Go get 'em, Sarah....

    PS: I recommend to all Reg readers the FoTW guide here:

  48. Lloyd

    Let's see now

    1) Poor Spelling.

    2) Grammatically incorrect.

    3) No sense of irony.

    4) Illogical.

    Those 4 points would normally scream "American" but he said "spunk bubble" which would put him around 30+ years old (but in primary school in terms of language), and he almost undoubtedly lives with his parents, plus, chances are the only posted because his usual porn sites were down for maintenance.

  49. Jesus Christ
    Paris Hilton

    He's joking right, no one can be that stupid

    Cue Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake noise...

    Paris because her (quality) flicks make more sense than this spunkbubble

  50. Doug Glass

    Glass Houses - FoTW

    Poor fool, you just shattered you own glass house. I guess God complexes are easy to develop these days huh dud?. Oh sorry...meant to type "dude".

    Hang in there bud and keep the laughs coming. I do love a good clown act and you just vaulted into my #1 position.

  51. RogueElement
    Paris Hilton

    The Moderatrix will

    bee welkome two korekt eny problim dat dere iz wiff mi spelin

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Spunk bubble is not an insult!

    In Australia, the phrase "spunk bubble" is employed as a compliment, typically used by teenage girls to describe members of boy bands... I am not making this up, honestly! I was very suprised the first time I heard it.

    Paris, because she likes blowing bubbles...

  53. Matthew


    Gotta love the spelling on :-D

  54. Chika

    How to flame like a wanker

    No doubt the person that wrote it was a devotee of the page on writing like a wanker (see

  55. Tony

    @John Baley

    " it was really just a lead pipe, but it was an "AR-10 carbine" to us"

    Lead pipe? you posh bastard, we dreamed of owning our own lead pipe. We had to make do with rolled up cardboard covered in sticky back plastic.

  56. Andy Worth

    Attempt to correct somebody's spelling

    = EPIC FAIL when you spell your rant incorrectly as well!

  57. TeeCee Gold badge

    Wow, such vitriol!

    I did enjoy the warm, fuzzy feeling from finding that my rotten gag, carefully adorned with the "Joke" icon had managed to piss someone off so thoroughly.

    However, the bit that really made me giggle was: "......I personally guarantee that your service will not go tits up... I run the billing for it!!! ". A bit like claiming to be an expert in automotive design 'cos yer dad let you drive his car one sunday night on the local industrial estate*.

    *Note to this guy's dad: Do not try this at home.

  58. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Spunk bubble - that's MINE!

    Don Logan calls Gal Dove (or is it H?) a spunkbubble in Sexy Beast. So you might want to take it up with the production company.

  59. petebog


    "rolled up cardboard covered in sticky back plastic."

    Cardboard!? Ooh, you lucky lucky bastard! All we ever had was used tissue paper, rescued from the dump and stuck together with our own spit.

  60. mutt1170
    Paris Hilton

    @Anomalous Cowherd

    "Go on, do it. Correct my use of "decimate". You know you want to."

    So you reduced his argument by 10%?

    Paris, cos big words are the only things that don't come out of her mouth.

  61. Anonymous Coward

    Don Logan and Sarah

    OMG! I just had a vision of the moderatrix as the terrifying Don.

  62. Law

    he's got a point

    "well its not really is it now, I think your taking shit to try and sound clever. EPIC FAIL"

    Anybody who takes shit anywhere should always receive an epic fail.

  63. Dave


    Tissue Paper?

    Lucky b'stard! All we ever had was second hand toilet paper, and not the soft kind, neither.

  64. Mike Smith


    Second-hand toilet paper? You were lucky! We 'ad to manage with one sheet of sandpaper. Per fortnight. Between ten of us.

  65. Mike Smith
    Thumb Up

    Spunk bubble - I said it here first! (BICBW)

    See here:

    I'm surprised that it's not more widely known - it was a common term of abuse when I was at school in the 1970s. I guess my generation must be on its way out!

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