back to article Right: Which one of you lot invented 'tw*tdangle', eh?

Ok, here's the deal: We at the Vulture Central Neologism Soviet want the name and personal details of whoever it was who invented the term "twatdangle", and we want them now. The reason? Well, no one-way ticket to the Gulag for the individual responsible, rather a congratulatory free shirt from El Reg's merchandising tentacle …

COMMENTS

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  1. Ian Zirins
    Thumb Up

    Twatdangle

    It was my dad - he was called Heronimus Twatdangle. unfortunately I could not get a job with that name, so I changed it by Deed Poll. I'm an XL in t-shirts BTW

  2. Secretgeek
    Happy

    Unfortunately...

    ..it wasn't me. But I am actively involved in dissemination of the word to everyone I meet (In context obviously, I'm not just shouting 'TWATDANGLE!' at passing strangers.)

  3. M
    Happy

    well

    It wasn't me but I commented on it at the time and thus embued the commentary with the rich word soup that enables such 'lexical' breakthroughs.

    In short, I would love a t shirt.

  4. Mad as a Bat
    Coat

    I for one...

    ... welcome our twatdangling overlords

  5. system

    Not entirely new

    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=56121949

    20 May 2007 04:25 - you twat dangle! dude if i can russle upm some spare cash...

    The page is for the profile of an aussie, and it sounds like an aussie phrase.

  6. Simon Painter
    Thumb Up

    @Ian Twatdangle

    "It was my dad - he was called Heronimus Twatdangle."

    Was he from the Hampshire Twatdangles? I am a bit of an armchair twatdanglologist and have been tracing the family lines back as far as William of Twatdangle in 1337 who was lord of the now lost village of Twatdangle in Somerset.

  7. system

    Earlier find

    "twat-dangler" also appears on this page, from september 2006.

    http://zeanu.deviantart.com/?offset=1550

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fantastic..

    Even the Reg has succumbed to etymological discourse.

    Even if it is on the origin of "twatdangle" - a superb word and clearly a vital addition to the language.

  9. Lenny Martin

    I invented twatdangle...

    ... and so did my wife.

  10. Gav H.
    Thumb Up

    In this context...

    ...I'm sure it was Marcus. It's a good old chuckle-inducing term 'aint it? :)

  11. Dick Lovewell
    Paris Hilton

    Now Show related?

    Marcus Brigstocke on Radio 4's the Now Show has long referred to the attention-seeking twat as the "Git Wizard", so I wonder if Twat Dangle has been developed from that idea?

    I'm not sure if I want Blaine simply ignored so we don't have to put up with his 8-year-old style showy-offy "look at me!" antics, or if he should be continued to be publicised in order to remind the world what an utter utter twat he is.

    And if he's such a tough guy, how comes he's so scared of getting a little pee over himself?

    Paris...because she's not scared of making her juices public.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Quick...

    ...Email Victoria Coren (of Balderdash & Piffle) and put her to work finding the origins.

    Would love to see this in the OED try to turn this gem down!

  13. Martin
    Happy

    Where's the freaking IT angle then?

    if I promise not to ask where is the IT angle (as you seem to be quite sensitive about it) can I have a T shirt?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm Sparticus...!

    Oh, sorry wrong thread.

  15. James Pickett

    Fussy

    I'd love a T-shirt, but only if it's got a picture of the old twatdangler himself, taken during the few seconds that he was actually inverted.

    I'd still like to know what happened to the advertised catheter, too...

  16. Mike Crawshaw
    Happy

    @SecretGeek

    "But I am actively involved in dissemination of the word to everyone I meet (In context obviously, I'm not just shouting 'TWATDANGLE!' at passing strangers.)"

    I've found that shouting "TWATDANGLE!!!" at passing strangers is actually quite fun. I recommend it.

  17. Ad Fundum

    Does it deserve wider use?

    Sureley a word as cunning, descriptive and downright fun to say out loud as "twatdangle" deserves a wider use than simply refering to David Blaine hanging upside in NY - in fact, a much more banal term would be more fitting for him ("cockstrung", "knobstrung" sping to mind) leaving "twatdangle" free to refer to something much more fun and be more widely used.

    How about "twatdangle: to leave someone who is unworthy or a response waiting; to fail to return a call, text, email or subpoena depsite promising to."

    http://adfundum.wordpress.com

  18. Simon
    Go

    It must be Friday!

    Yep, this reads like a Friday article.

    I'm going to bookmark this comments page and check back as the Friday slackers debate a new word destined to end up in the Oxford English Dictionary (Well in the online version at least).

    The same dictionary rag that included the word(s) "Girl Power" FFS!

    Yeah, send me the T-shirt and another one for my wife, ta. Don't forget to wrap it around a brand new Laptop as well.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm confused

    Firstly, despite succesfully introducing the expression "cock-waving battle" into a couple of El Reg comment boards, I can't claim the excellent "twatdangle".

    Secondly: "We want the name, email addy and inside leg measurement of the scoundrel"

    Inside leg measurement? Is he expected to wear his free t-shirt upside down and over his legs like a pair of shorts?

  20. tranquil
    Go

    As I recall;

    Marcus came up with 'David Blain: Freek Dangle' as alternate name for 'Above the Bellow' or whatever it was called, when he was hanging over the thames.

    It was on The Now Show on Radio 4, and is available as part of the 'best of' compilation that I brought on 7Digital a couple of years back.

  21. Richard
    Thumb Up

    It was nearly me...

    My email address, (which due to a dislike of spam I won't disclose) is nearly very close to 'twatda*gle'.

    Honest

  22. Richard
    Coat

    I'm Spartacus!

    Actually no, I can't back that up.

    I free T-shirt would be nice though, perhaps then I can stop wearing this barrel with suspenders the guv'ment left me with.

  23. Simon C

    Tw*tdangle

    Wasn't me I'm sad to report.

    However, may I put forward the aforementioned activity for a new competition in the London 2012 Olympics

    Problem is Britain would have an unfair advantage, we have plenty of tw*ts we'd like to see dangle.

  24. Dave Gregory
    Thumb Up

    Marcus Brigstocke

    well known and utterly brilliant comic, called the first stunt "above the below" freakdangle, this is surely just a logical continuation. He also christened David Blaine "Gitwizard extrodinaire."

    Send him a shirt too!

  25. Chris Richards
    Coat

    nor was it me...

    ...but along with other commentards I'm all for the twatdangler icon!!

    (in addition to the coffee + keyboard icon).

    I know there's a specific story for suggesting icons, but I'm not yet bored enough to search for it.

    Mine's the one with kebab meat in one pocket and a pitta in the other.

  26. JCL
    Heart

    Post anonymously?

    god, isn't Friday great?

  27. Steve Oliver
    Coat

    Twatdangle...

    ... is that what happens right before a queening?

    Mine's the one with the balaclava in the pocket.

  28. vale
    Heart

    I like it....

    I like it. I didn't post on the article but I feel that my new purpose in life(this weekend) is to replace any insulting words I may use with "twatdangle" or "twatdangler". Therefore I feel that my purpose to the reg and to the world is fulfilled for the weekend.

    I think that is a perfect justification for a free t-shirt!

  29. twat

    Twasnt me

    But I thought Id register this user id before someone else go there first

    Twat Dangler

  30. Jeff Rowse Silver badge

    What is a twatdangle?

    Way back when I was an Electronics Apprentice (mid-80's) , I was told that the shrinking rubber-ish sleeves we used to hold bundles of cables together were called "twats". So would that make a twatdangle the hook where you hang this stuff?

  31. Ivan Headache

    Twasn't me

    But the first time I heard it was on Radio 4's "The Now Show" during one of Marcus Brigstock's tirades against Blaine (or was it BT broadband?).

    MB has had this 'thing' about Blaine for quite a long time so it probably is his invention. Wikipedia has a quote from MB dated 2003 about the London dangle.

    I have a feeling that twatdangle came in a piece that MB did after Blaine's failed underwater stunt in 2006.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    There is nothing new under the sun..

    Clearly Twatdangle has prior art but no clear provenance leading to an individual or individuals who might reasonably be able to support a valid claim of ownership. To prevent ambit claims that might otherwise deprive the community of free and unrestricted use of Twatdangle, the entities operating jointly and severally as The Register must register Twatdangle and grant everyone, in perpetuity, the right to reproduce Twatdangle in any medium, at any time, and in any context so long as proper attribution is made, adjacent to the reproduction and in a legible typeface of no less than 24 points, identifying the rights holder as The Register and David Blaine as the archetypal dangled twat.

    IT? In remembrance of those old Segway teasers dangled twatishly before us only to reveal that IT was, in the end, an old people's skateboard. Twatdanglers fondle our dreams inappropriately and puncture our hopes with little pins.

  33. Joe
    Thumb Up

    Tw@tdangle merchandise?

    Wouldn't mind a shirt of Blaine on a rope with 'TW@tdangle' on it

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ISP Contracts.

    You sign up, the connection goes crummy and then you're stuck on a contract with them for another 11 months.

    Woe is you for you are left twatdangling.

  35. Storm Cloud
    Black Helicopters

    Icon please

    As "twatdangler" can be applied to a vast number of people fronting the IT industry, can I suggest that when I vent my spleen towards them here, that I be given a suitable twatdangling icon to visually enhance my eloquent prose. Mind you the one I'm using now isn't too wide of the mark as it look a bit like a muff on a string!

  36. Mark C
    Thumb Up

    It's a living language

    We all (the collective hive mind) invented it .... T-shirts all round!

  37. Random Musings Of A Mad Person?
    IT Angle

    I'd like to put forward the word NoITAngle too..

    How about using the word NoITAngle (pronounced Noit-angle) for articles posted on the Register without an IT related content in them?

  38. James
    Paris Hilton

    @ system

    If it was indeed Marcus Brigstocke commenting upon 'Above the Below' then the phrase would have been coined in 2003. Hence some references to this latest stunt as Twat Dangle Part 2.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/twat_dangle

    So if twat dangle is the event then is the person doing it a dangle-twat or a dangletard?

    Paris, cos she doesn't have a cunning stunt either!

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Twatdangle.com is already gone :(

    Godaddy has them :(

  40. David Jones
    Paris Hilton

    http://twatdangle.com/

    Pleased to see this had already been registered. Surely this goes even further in legitimizing the use of the word. Now if we can just get a wikipedia entry...

    Paris, becuase I would as long as there were no cameras nearby

  41. Law
    Thumb Down

    I was...

    .. tw@tdangling bad guys in Starwars: Force unleashed last night.... very entertaining... I wish I was a dark jedi in real life though, I could levitate and choke the life out of the tw@tdangler known as Blain - weak pathetic fool!!

    Oh - I think I deserve a tshirt btw - you have finally killed the magic of mary poppings, superman, starwars, and spiderman with the term tw@tdangler... I'm not going to be able to see any of them without screaming it out now!! DAMN YOU EL-REG!! *shakes fist*

    *thumbs up icon - mid-tw@tdangling ofcourse!*

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    I want to

    congratulate the inventor if you find them - it's a brilliant word and I am changing all my passwords to it as soon as possible, as well as yelling it at cyclists who jump red lights or ride on the pavement when I'm trying to get home (well, ok, to the pub)

    Mine's the one with the £5 M&S voucher in the pocket

  43. Andy G
    Coat

    @ Joe

    yup, i want a t-shirt with "Desk Rabbit" on the front of it.

    oh, and my ex from many years ago had one helluva Tw*tdangle !! does that count???

  44. stu

    TwatDangle dictionary Definition

    Twatdangle

    -verb (used with object)

    1. to pursue some pointless exercise that demonstrates no abilities other than the ability to twatdangle.

    2. to pursue pointess activity for sustained periods eg they twatdangled the fucking( see to fuck) day away.

    –verb (used without object)

    8. to make a living from the act of twatdangling (see Manager).

    –noun

    9. A pointless exercise eg "this is a total fucking twatdangle"

    10. A poorly executed endeavour eg " this is a total fucking twatdangle" (ref clusterfuck)

    11. a group of persons associated for the purpose of hunting; an association of hunters.

    [Origin: circa. 2008; (v.) used to descibe pointless media tosspot David Blaine's pathetic and pointless excercise of hanging upside down. ]

    —Related forms

    Twat.dang.el.ing, adverb

    Twat.dang.el.er , adjective - he is a total twatdangler

    Twat.dang.led, adjective - fucked up

    —Synonyms 1. Oxygen thief, waste of fresh air, clusterfuck, FUBAR.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Twangler

    We could even shorten TwatDangler to Twangler.

    Twangler (n) Tw-angler -

    Blaine, David

    Aged Woman with Gravity issues

    Any total knobend that pisses you off!

    ...

    Add your own meaning here.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Personally...

    ... I prefer to refer to David Blaine's last stunt as a douche piñata.

  47. Chris Matchett
    Coat

    Urban Dictionary

    "Your search - twatdangle site:urbandictionary.com - did not match any documents. "

    However 'dangle twat' is there already but I won't pay lip service to that.

    I think I was the first to say 'twatdangler'. Can I have a sleeve please?

  48. Matt Bradley
    Coat

    I feel so privileged

    It is one thing to put new an interesting word into use, but the sheer privilege of being right here, now, at the BIRTH of a new word, watching it take flight (we've got it's OED entry right here), is a joy which makes my heart fill to bursting.

    Remember, friends, when you use the word "twatdangle" in your old age; that you were here, right now, at the very frontline of our bold and free language, and rejoice!

  49. Hans

    Etymology again

    Quote: "and an agent noun (twatdangler")"

    I'm no exspurt on English but I'm not convinced that the verb to "twatdangle" begets this alleged agent noun. I can think of many who could be described as "twatdanglers" i.e. those who dangle twats, who do not necessarily pursue the art of twatdangling in the context of Blaine-like stunts.

    Maybe this ought to be clarified by someone better than I. Or should that be better than me? See what I mean, now?

    P.S. Are we allowed to use the word "stunts" here, being before the watershed and all?

  50. system

    @James

    Didn't realise he was supposed to have made the comments that far back. The article seems to imply the word is new, with lines like "within hours of its coining", and I didn't read the comments from the other article.

    I think we can rule out any possibility of it being created in the comments recently though.

  51. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    God

    Some of you are so disgusting. I've been at this thread with the mop and the bucket and the bleach.

    But now, I'm going to the pub. So there.

  52. RW
    IT Angle

    Holy fuck!

    Did somebody put itching powder inside Our Divine Moderatrix's new red vinyl bustier?

    As for reporting it to the OED: do, please, with all info on early occurrences. It probably won't get into the dictionary, since it's a nonce-word, but they'll keep the data on file.

    [See? "Data." There's your IT angle. There's an IT angle to everything if you dig around enough and are willing to engage in a degree of logical and categorical elasticity.]

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    everyone has more sex than me

    Oops...wrong posting..Oh well, I disavow all knowledge of this word and any and every thing possibly associated with it.

    Paris, 'cuz she has more than me, too.

  54. Tommy Pock

    Twatwinch

    I invented twatwinch many moons ago as a general term of abuse for people I generally dislike. Pure coincidence I'm sure, but the crane operators can borrow it if they like.

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I'm surprised

    That none of you lot have put two and two together yet. It was an AC post that used "Twat Dangle part 2" in the title. Drawing from the aforementioned "freak dangle" tag used by Marcus Brigstocke and combining it with people calling Blaine a twat in earlier posts. Thus was born the twatdangle.

    Which by the way is a totally brilliant phrase which I've taken to using and chuckle every time I do.

  56. James Pickett

    Help!

    As if being reminded of Blaine wasn't bad enough, I've now got the phrase 'twatdangling away' in my head, to the tune of Paul Simon's 'Slipsliding away'. Have mercy and send me a shirt...

  57. Kevin Dwyer
    Thumb Up

    Me, Me, Me, Me, Me,

    I claim my T shirt, not as the originator of the Neologism, but as the first to use it in the original thread ( posted as AC)where I attributed it to Marcus Brigstocke.

    Now that's sorted I have a favour to ask El Reg, do you think you could get Sarah to wear it around the office for a while before you post it to me?

    Ta everso

  58. S Taylor
    Paris Hilton

    The authors of

    The Meaning of Liff (Douglas Adams and John Lloyd) should be alerted to this new addition to our prosaic language. Although nothing whatsoever to do with that Blaine fellow, I laugh loudly at 'TwinkleTwat', which refers to any generic feminine hygiene product.

    Paris, 'cos she knows where to sprinkle the Twinkle.

  59. theotherone
    Paris Hilton

    i don't

    I don't find the word "twatdangle" very amusing at all ..... now "cunthanger" would have been much much better ...

    paris icon obviously.....

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The etymon is a corruption of 'cordwangle'

    Diligent research suggests that the origins are to be found in the widely acclaimed works of Rambling Syd Rumpo; specifically the traditional and well-respected cautionary tale, 'The Ballad of the Woggler's Moulie'. The many variants will by now be diffused in the mists of time and the first use was presumably hidden in alcoholic haze.

    See, e.g. http://www.btinternet.com/~knutty.knights/more_cordw.html

    Other fine examples in similar style are to be found here -

    http://freespace.virgin.net/a.del-manso/RamblingSyd'sGanderbag.html

    - including a song to the tune of Widdicombe Fair which starts,

    Reg Pubes, Reg Pubes, Lend me your great Nog,

    Rollock me fusset and grindle me nodes.

  61. Chris G Silver badge

    Wasn't me either! But

    Surely Twatdanglement:- active verb. Or twatdanglementation:- thinking whilst dangling a twat is worth a couple of sleeves.

    Or Twatdanglist:- a practitioner of twatdangling.

    Twatdangleation:-As in `Twatdangleation in the upper teen demographic is reaching epidemic proportions.´

    Twatdangleism:- A sentence with the term twatdangle in it.

    Twatdangleosis:- A state of twatdangle

    Twatdangleitis:- An inflamed twatdangle.

    Oh all right then I'll shut up. ( 42" chest)

  62. Tim
    Flame

    His IP address

    I know who it was and his IP address is 127.0.0.1

    Hee Hee.

  63. Kevin Dwyer
    Thumb Up

    Reader, I was that anonymous coward

    There you go:

    --------------------------------------------------------

    Twat Dangle Pt 2

    By Anonymous Coward Posted Tuesday 23rd September 2008 14:19 GMT

    Marcus Brigstock also got it spot on when he labelled the box stunt a "Twat dangle"

    --------------------------------------------------------

    I'll have a large one please Sarah :-)

  64. Richard
    Stop

    A serious request

    Please could the other Richard who isn't me stop calling himself 'Richard'.

    Much obliged.

  65. Peter

    How about...

    Twat-on-a-stick?

    Twat-in-a-box?

    Twat-in-a-spin?

    Twat-on-ice?

    For some of the twatdangler's other escapades?

  66. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: A serious request

    What's up, Dick?

    Sorry.

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re; A serious request

    You think you have problems? I've got a surname that came from Cornwall and an unusual first name that my parents liked, but they used an even less common spelling than the 'normal' one... You'd think I'd be safe from "duplication" but oh no, there's some amateur racing driver in New Zealand who shares my name... and he seems to have claimed it first practically everywhere on the zogging web!

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