David Blaine tw*tdangle ends in controversy

David Blaine's much-hyped "twatdangle"* over New York's Wollmann ice rink has ended in controversy amid accusations that the whole thing was sham, the BBC reports. Blaine had stated he would remain suspended upside-down for 60 hours, sustained by nothing more than sipping drinks through a straw while urinating through a …

[Anonymous John]

he was "not going to pee all over myself"

Isn't that what the catheter was to prevent?

Mine's the upside down one.

[Anonymous Coward]

Genius

"sipping drinks through a straw while urinating through a catheter"

Oooh the imagery.

Don't people realise by now that he's an illusionist... what you think you see is not what you actually see which is not what is real.

[NICHOLAS SAUNDERS]

pointless....

You can't really do much about gravity, pretty hard to swallow upwards and it might of been amusing to see him do his toilet stuff upside down. Maybe Blaine could do us a favour and just be a street magician. Failing that, maybe jumping out of an aeroplane without a parachute should be his next stunt...

[thefutureboy]

Too right!

A big thumbs up for whoever came up with "twatdangle". I would award multiple thumbs up if it allowed me to add more icons.

[Mark]

Twatdangle

No, he wouldn't be peeing all over himself. That's what the catheter was there for.

Twatdangle indeed. An apt description.

[Anonymous Coward]

"not going to pee all over myself"?

Blaine defended himself to the press by explaining he was "not going to pee all over myself".

What? And take away everyone else's fun?

[Ian Ferguson]

Shame

I, for one, would have quite happily stood and watched for a few hours if I'd have got to see David Blaine pee all over himself.

[Anonymous Coward]

Who is David Blaine?

And why do we care?

Paris, cuz I she's up there with whoever David Blaine is on my list of people to care about.

[Anonymous Coward]

If he's not..

...going to pee all over himself I'll gladly do it for him.

[Sooty]

nice

"not going to pee all over myself"

perhaps if you are not prepared to pee all over yourself, then hanging yourself upside down for 60 hours isn't something to attempt. It's as hippocritical as sitting in a glass box for 40 days and having a curtain put up around it every so often so you can have some privacy.

[Marvin the Martian]

60 hours

of Blaine peeing over himself? Now THAT sounds like entertainment, finally.

[Jon Double Nice]

I think

that Mr Blaine has a fetish for prolonged exhibitionistic catheter based public urination, and that this sort of behaviour really shouldn't be encouraged.

[Anonymous Coward]

Pish

"not going to pee all over myself".

I thought that was one of the reasons for the catheter?

Just another dumbass, lying, sensationalistic prick.

[Anonymous Coward]

Har-de har har.

"...If his name hadn't been David Blaine I would never have come."

More fool you then. He impressed early on in his career, but the whole "endurance stunt" thing is nothing but self-publicity.

His career is largely dead, I conclude, if this is all he can do to keep it going.

[Nick]

Commenter!

The next time said commenter who came up with the tw@dangle name is in the area, I'd like to buy him a beer.

[Anonymous Coward]

I wouldn't pee on him either

Can't say I blame Blaine for not wanting to pee on himself, I wouldn't pee on the 'git wizard' even if he was on fire.....

[Anonymous Coward]

Gitwizard does what?

So let me see if I get this.

He claimed that he was going to hang upside down for 60 hours, but then actually did what could be described as "hang upside down until he needed the loo, or a medic wanted a look at him, then he'd stop for a bit. Repeat for 60 hours."

How crap is that?

[Andy Tunnah]

twatdangle

best word eva

along with cockpocket (vagina)

and tardilarious (stupidly funny)

[Mitch Warner]

And for my next trick...

David Blaine has just announced his next trick will involve being buried in a hole six feet below the ground and then to remain there for the next several thousand years...

...or was this just a dream I had? Oh please let it be true

[Joe K]

Hah

Twatdangle, classic.

I read elsewhere that he was taking a 10 minute break every hour on Health & Safety concerns.

So yes, complete waste of time for all involved.

[Michael McLean]

Why Not??

Blaine defended himself to the press by explaining he was "not going to pee all over myself".

Why not might have been more interesting

[dervheid]

He may not have peed all over himself...

but has clearly shat on his fans.

Hopefully sufficient of them will now see him for the publicity seeking gimboid that he is, and that his 'career' will now terminate in a quiet slide into well-deserved obscurity, remembered only as " that Twatdangling Gitwizard".

[John Robson]

I'll dangle upsidedown for 10 years...

If I can take 9.99 years of break in the middle...

These used to events of endurance, I always doubted whether he was actually doing them, this seems to indicate that he's been an illusionist rather than an endurance specialist all along...

[Anonymous Coward]

tewatdangle

that'll be Marcus Brigstock and was well attributed in the comments...

[Dave Gregory]

Marcus Brigstocke...

...Approves.

[Dave]

@Twat

"Blaine defended himself to the press by explaining he was "not going to pee all over myself" "

'cos that might make him look like a twat ... oh, wait.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: pointless...

@NICHOLAS SAUNDERS

"You can't really do much about gravity, pretty hard to swallow upwards"

No it's not.

Look up "peristalsis" in your friendly local dictionary.

[Hairy]

RE: if he's not...

"...going to pee all over himself I'll gladly do it for him."

Unless of course he was on fire...

[drunk.smile]

"I am totally unimpressed"

I spent some of the first fricking months of my life dangling upside down.

What was the big deal? More to the point though... David Blaine has 100s of fans. Jesus & I thought the credit crunch was a sign things were bad.

Can we have a david blaine icon preferably to represent stories of people making a twatdangle of themselves for publicity?

Paris because we'd all love to tw*tdangle for her.

[The elephant in the room]

Cockdangle?

Because anatomically speaking cocks dangle and twats dont. Except this one does, so perhaps they do.

[Chris Richards]

He should...

Come to England and repeat the stunt - I'm sure there are plenty of people here who'd willingly piss all over him* even if he's not willing to himself. What a twat!

I'm pleased I'm from a nation that throw things at him rather than standing in awe of his clearly lacking talents. And as for being voluntarily catheterised! The only time I expect to be catheterised is either when I'm in a coma, or am sufficiently old and ill that one of my remaining relatives have the go ahead to switch the machine off.

*unless he was on fire

[Mark Lockwood]

I wonder why he doesn't do his cunning stunts in the UK any more...

It still makes me smile, the image of the burger van positioned directly under him for 44 days. Genius

[Anonymous Coward]

Gitwizard

I believe Marcus Brigstoke actually said Freakdangle, it was in some (ficticious) computergames that the Now Show were offering in the xmas special that year.

You notice that he doesn't do anything inthe UK since Freakdangle, I'd love to see him trying a stunt like this in the east end of London. Golfballs off tower bridge would do a lot more than keep him awake!

[Kevin Dwyer]

Woo Hoo! Twatdangler

Oh my giddy aunt,

Can you guys ( and Sarah ) confirm it was me who posted the original twatdangle comment?

to be fair I did attribute the original to Marcus Brigstock IIRC, but to get a mention from Vulture Central staff! has made my day

[Simon Painter]

@drunk.smile

I concur and call for a twatdangle icon for when people are doing stupid things in public for the sake of publicity to the mindless masses.

[Matt Bradley]

twatdangle

Sounds like something from TvGoHome - Are you sure it wasn't Charlie Brooker?

[Peter]

T.W.A.T

The guys a twat!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Have done similar

I once held my breath under water for 30 minutes. I was of course allowed to come up for air occassionally.

@Elephant in the room, you want to see some curtains of beef...

[Anonymous Coward]

Twat tricks twats

I find it quite surprising how many people actually think the twat in question actually does these 'feats' we have been discussing. As a previous commenter mentioned, in the box they put a curtain up every now and then for him to have a good eat, in the ice cube there was a fake bottom and they blew dry ice fog over the ice (to keep it from melting apparently!) which obscured the view enough for him to swap with a double into the little nice room underneath. All of them are tricks. ALL TRICKS.

[Anonymous Coward]

David Blaine?

Who?

I only read the story to find out what "tw@dangle" meant, and it seems very appropriate, as well as being a lovely word to enunciate.

[Anonymous Coward]

Twatdangle

If you look at Http://Blainenews.nonexitestent.website its got news of his next challenge. It involves 5 days of sheer hell, and will require his massive will power skills in order to finish it. It involves waking up on a monday morning and going to work for eight hours then returning home everyday for 5 days Yes a WHOLE WEEK, at work . He'll never do it imo

[Anonymous Coward]

Marcus Brigstocke

That's Marcus with a "us" and Brigstocke with an "e", just for the record.

And I believe his original phrase was "freakdangle".

[Anonymous Coward]

don't skate on the yellow ice :D

as per title ...

[Anonymous Coward]

He's an illusionist

Don't forget all his ridiculous endurance stunts to date have been an illusion. The ice stunt for example, if you spent time watching it, every so often the ice would fog up, the official explanation being the humidity from his breath. The reality is, every 2 hours they pumped dry ice in until it was foggy enough to do the shift change. The box on a cable was even funnier since Blaine only did the day shift and a double the night shift. Again, people watching the box in person would have seen a cherry picker going up twice a day to clean the box. Whilst the box was soaped up for the cleaning, a clever floor tray mechanism was used to switch out the double.

He's a magician, and a second rate one at that. If you watch his street magic, it is all old tricks. I've never seen him do something new, unlike great magicians (like Penn and Teller for instance) who are constantly either doing new things, or bringing new ideas to old tricks.

[Anonymous Coward]

Entertainment?

"...If his name hadn't been David Blaine I would never have come."

Did this guy really have so little to do with his day that an upside down conjurer sounded like fun? Surely Blaine getting down to take a piss was a major highlight of what is, to be fair, a bloke remaining still upside down.

I also like the idea that a random bloke upside down is dull, but a minor celeb twatdangling is worth going out of your way to watch.

[Solomon Grundy]

@Have done similar

Hahaha. You said beef curtains. I haven't heard that in a long time.

I think my favorite is "that thing look like a badly packed suitcase" or "a roast beef sandwich".

Hahaha. Meat curtains.

[Shades]

El Reg = The Sun?

Since the redesign theres been an influx of "celebrity" type shite! What the hell is going on Reg? Next you'll be giving us updates on Emmerdale. Oh......

[Anonymous Coward]

Hung from another body part

Hung upside-down for 60 hours. And people pay money for that?

If he'd have been hung upside-down, suspended from his testicles, I'd have (maybe) taken more interest in this stunt. Better yet, if he'd hung himself from his neck, and they where displaying his body for 60 hours, I'd have watched the whole show (buying popcorn and soda's too).

*Sigh* Why didn't they put a screw on top on that fish tank he was submerged in?

[Anonymous Coward]

For his next trick...

...perhaps he could hang the right way up?

Also, what's the twatd angle?

[W]

Twatdangled by your own petard?

"You can't really do much about gravity, pretty hard to swallow upwards" - NICHOLAS "cApS lOcK" SAUNDERS

Only if he's actually a bird, a fish, or a snake. As far as I'm aware, Davis Blaine is a mammal.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swallowing

[Chris Matchett]

icon request

Upside down twatdangler please

[drunk.smile]

@ all this talk of doubles..,

JESUS F*CKING CHRIST!

THERE'S 2 OF HIM?!!??!??!!!!1111

[Insert appropriate tw*t(dangle)-o-tron here]

[Rob Foster]

60 hours upside down

The key issue is the 10 minutes/hour health and safety breaks. (I'm quoting another poster so flame him if wrong...)

I haven't hung upside down for very long in recent years. I suspect my brain or at least an artery thereof would explode sometime in the first hour, let alone 60 hours. Your body just isn't warrantied when you fail to comply with the user manual.

So this was a stupid misleading stunt from the beginning. No credible sponsor is interested in the liability around letting this git actually do something dangerous.

[Solomon Grundy]

@Shades

Nope, you're wrong. There has always been a lot of "celebrity" shite on The Register; along with tons of other non-IT related stuff that is a varying degrees of interest but almost always guaranteed to generate great commentary by readers. Hence the "IT?" icon.

[Anonymous Coward]

re: tw@dangle

dangle.com isn't registered, if someone wants to set up that email address... maybe just forward it to Blaine.

[Old Geezer]

Ended with a dive of death.....

Unfortunately he didn't.

[ElFatbob]

Eh?

Why do people even bother turning up for this guy - he's a complete bawbag.

[Jason Bloomberg]

Don't knock Blaine !

He's the only person I recall in many years to have united the entire UK into a oneness we haven't see since battling Johnny Foreigner in WW II.

Okay, so it was to engage in a collective cry of "wanker" as he was suspended over the Thames, but he deserves some credit.

Okay he's not very good at his job, is a complete let-down, doesn't deliver what's promised during or at the end,but don't think that's in anyway indicative of any other Americans, their institutions or even Presidents. Oh no.

Mine's the one with the Guantanamo invite in the pocket.

[Stewart Haywood]

Upset fans

Now that he has upset his fans, is he a dissillusionist?

[Anonymous Coward]

Balducci Levitation Trick

that's the one that did it for me. You see Blaine being hoisted by high in the sky, but of course by a crane just off camera, you are then shown a bunch of girls staring and pointing in amazement, can they not see the crane?

No, instead they are actually responding to another trick, where he uses the Balducci levitation trick of appearing to float an inch off the ground (yes he just stands on tip toe and does it an angle).

Now the programme tries to claim that no camera tricks were used, by saying that all responses shown are actual responses to the tricks performed or the such like. It is that type of trickery that really is quite boring, if you are watching on TV the tricks cannot take advantage of that fact.

Even the evil pixie Derren Brown has been caught out a couple of times there, but at least his stuff is wrapped in some originality and adds some extra twists. Blaine had one good series and that was it, and even those tricks relied on stooges quite often and the use of specially crafted magic tricks - it was just he did it on the street.

Oh and want to know how Derren did the walk on glass trick, well he did walk on glass and anyone can as long as the glass is clumped together, the trick is to knock the glass off your feet at the end as one bit of glass would puncture the skin but a lot won't, simple physics.

Same as a bed of nails, the trick is getting yourself on and off so the weight is spread across a number of points.

But you can still enjoy Derren for those tricks, it still takes a bit of gumption to pull them off, and he has built up a persona that people tend to emote to off the bat now, which enables him to pull off more tricks. Blaine well, it is just boring really.

[Charles Manning]

Career revival

He's trying to turn his washed-up celeb status into product endorsements.

Incontinence products spring to mind. Should fit well with his fan base.

[Anonymous Coward]

Ok seriously

I'm shocked people are still paying any attention to this douche bag. Yes he had an interesting close up magic gig and sold it fairly well. But this crap he's been doing recently is just a bunch of self promotion for the sake of promotion, total non events.

Paris, since were talking about twats.

[Anonymous Coward]

@ Hung from another part: Idea !!

Hey! I have an idea. Why don't we get him and that shark guy together, Damien Hirst?

If he sticks Blaine in a tank with formaldehyde (and glues it shut), people can laugh at Blaine forever and Damien will have a work that is as easy put together as all the others but impossible to sell (actually, no, Tracey Emin's even easier. I have a bed like that every day).

Not that he'd mind, he's found one fool already.

[Anonymous Coward]

For my next trick ...

I'm going to go six months without food.

Interspersed with meal breaks. I mean, I don't want to get *hungry*.

What an arsecandle.

[James]

Bell End

This is hilarious though: http://www.gamebarrel.com/games/4308/david-blaine-assassination-game.html

[Andy Dent]

Sustained or Suspended?

I can't believe I'm the first to read that article and think "wow - suspended from only a drinking straw and a catheter". Take that, Stelarc!

Mine's the one with the full body-harness and stuntman wire attached...

[yeah, right.]

hype

Usually the guy delivers on his stunts. Saw the short video of this one, including the finale... he delivered, but it was a pile of steaming donkey dung. Anyone who paid for this crap (advertisers, sponsors, etc.) should sue the sucker to get their money back.

Maybe he's replacing Seinfeld in the new Microsoft ads?

[jimmy you]

Blaineism is out of fashion, bring back 9-11 conspiracy theories or something.

I'm with Chris Richards on this one. Let him come back to England where we know how to treat him right.

This man is not worthy of his own piss.

Houdini is probably at this moment still trying to work out how to come back through the ether to haunt people so that he can kick Blaine into touch for name-dropping him once too often.

Paris because she seems so appealing when you've had to suffer the arsities of Blaineism.

[Tom Austin]

British mobs

British mobs -- I love 'em and their outright disdain for wankers.

I especially loved the radio-controlled helicopter with a sandwich dangling off it, buzzing his stupid bloody cage by the Thames.

There was meant to be a flash-mob to shine red lasers at him too, I think, but sadly didn't really kick off.

[Coop]

Swap

"sipping drinks through a straw while urinating through a catheter"

And he could swap when one is empty and the other full...

[Dex]

I don't mind

...The Reg turning into The Sun so long as they either provide us with topless ladies ala Page 3 stylee or at least more models in bikinis!

Twat dangling from a rope upside down......Pinata / target practice anyone?