back to article No pr0n surfing for Qantas A380 passengers

There's some disappointing news today for passengers who were hoping to indulge in a bit of light smut surfing aboard Qantas A380s when the superjumbos enter service with the Oz airline next month - the company has pulled the plug on live net access and will instead offer merely "cached internet content" and access to web-based …


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  1. Simon Neill


    Watching porn in a crowded plane? I know it can be hard to go a while without popping one off, but seriously....

    "We're never going to make it, the supplies inventory says we are down to our last 3,000 vomit bags"

  2. Joe Montana

    Like filtering will do anything...

    Filtering will just increase costs, if someone really wants to look at porn on a flight they will just take it with them when they board the flight.

  3. Marvin the Martian

    Cached internet?

    What's the point? You'd want to check news stories and mail, what else? And how do they cache --- do they make a dvd of that InterWebNetszoneThing (or at least all the sites the "techie" nephew of the CEO views) once a month and put it on board after snipping the dodgy 95% off? Sounds like a job.

    If you want to browse your pr0n just bring it on your EEE --- that makes it all hard(to see)pr0n.

  4. Craig McAllister
    Paris Hilton

    Web filtering, in 2009? Not on my connection...

    SSL proxy, anyone?

    Paris, because of the obvious pr0n connotation


  5. Andus McCoatover
    IT Angle

    No Grumbleflicks?

    Well, can always have forty flicks in the onboard shower....

    Paris, obviously...

  6. Rob

    Hmmm... mile high porn

    Can't see the problem if your going club or business, you can beat out a high altitude monkey in the privacy of your own cubicle.

  7. Anonymous Coward

    I can live with that...

    ...I keep a pr0n film or two on the iPod, just to piss off nosey arseholes who sit next to me and won't leave me in peace while I'm trying to ignore everyone and watch Tom & Jerry or whatever. Also very useful in getting you relocated to a quieter part of the cabin if you're surrounded by people's noisy disruptive brats!

    I just hope that they also restrict access to applications like Skype, so we don't get the "annoying tw4t on a mobile" syndrome creeping in via the back door.

    (mine's the one with the Cheat's Guide To A Better Seat in the pocket)

  8. thefutureboy

    In that case...

    They'd better buy a mobile from Disk Smith Electronics before boarding their flight.

  9. Name

    unfiltered office connections?

    Most offices are filtered, if you need something basic (yeah you can work around it) opendns is a quick and easy first stage solution.

  10. alain williams Silver badge

    ssh access

    So no outgoing ssh access ... useless!

  11. The Fuzzy Wotnot

    I don't get it?

    Alright I appreciate, they're arse-covering, making sure nothing dodgy gets through, as the first granny and or young kids to see a front frontal while going down to the karzi, will sue the airline, but I have never got the point of the sort of person who felt the need to have that much pr0n that they need it with them all the time? Like the sad tosser, no pun intended, who has a 2 min bongo clip on his Blackberry/Nokia and insists on playing it while on a packed train! If you're that desperate, you need psychological help not technology!

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tea, Coffee, Kleenex !!

    "Hi, would you copy the Internet onto this DVD for me please? I want to use it on a plane."

    "Would passengers please put their seats in an upright position and keep their hands on the armrests where we can see them."

    I think the business passengers will be miffed at having no live business feeds. I don't think there will be many customers for this.

  13. Anonymous Coward

    Can anybody say....

    P....R...O....X....Y ... now repeat after me, Ppprrooxxxyy... thats right, Proxy!

  14. Matthew
    Paris Hilton

    wtf lol

    cached internet? so in other words just click *work offline*

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Good, actually. I don't care if people want to watch porn in the privacy of their own home, but on what is effectively public transport? FFS, get a grip (or not as the case may be!). This isn't a "freedom/censorship" issue, it's a "people around you might not like seeing someone being taken every which being watched way by someone in the seat next to them with a suspicious trouser bulge" issue. I've not noticed there being a big issue with airline films being edited so only the mildest violence/sex is shown.

  16. Anonymous Coward

    USB and security?

    Holy crap on a stick[*], they're gonna leave exposed USB ports and let people shove in whatever looks vaguely enough like a memory stick to pass?

    I work in USB device development. While there's been a lot of attention paid to the security of device drivers in recent years in regard to not trusting random data sent to you from user-space, the core and class drivers are still way too trusting of anything that comes in over the wire. I made a typo in the firmware for the custom MSC device I was working with a while back and reported that I had a size of zero blocks - XP immediately BSoD'd with a divide-by-zero in kernel mode. I haven't had time to play with this, but I'll bet there are easily exploitable bugs as well.

    They're gonna get pwnt hard.

    [*] - Now available on eBay, I hear, alongside nun-buns and other such miraculous simulacra.

  17. Richard Hodgson

    What's wrong with...

    ...good old fashioned internet filtering?

    Surely it's easier and less bandwidth intensive to regularly update a set of filters than it is to regularly update their cache? It saves them the future headaches from customers who don't understand what caching is, and can't understand why Gmail and Hotmail aren't logging in properly, or why BBC News will only show articles from 3 weeks ago, too.

    Hell, if they can't afford to employ people to keep the filters up to date, pay one of the multitude of filtering companies out there to get a regularly updated version of their filters instead.

    Yes, people can use proxies to bypass them, but if people really want to rack off a sly one on the plane, they'll find a way: It'd be far easier just to download a load of porn before they leave, and take that on a USB stick, or on their mobile for convenience, and how exactly are the airlines going to prevent that?

  18. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    USB port?

    Windows has detected new hardware Qantas A380 - please insert driver disk.

  19. Glenn Charles

    airlines and airtexting

    Darn those back-ordered smutphones, anyway.


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