Mills and Boon thrusts into pr0n market Legendary bored-housewife-pleasing publisher Mills and Boon is planning to up the romantic ante with its first porn books. The usual mildly risqué euphemisms of the famed throwaway lady-paperbacks, known for their ripping of bodices and tousling of hair and rumpling of sheets and such, will helplessly submit to a crashing wave …
"oh paris coz'" comments we gonna get this time?
I say at least 6 before this comment is published.. cant we remove the icon? its rarely used for remotely amusing purposes and instead for shi**y paris cos she blows at the end of an article about wind farms etc... get a life!
anyway, rant over, carry on,,
"- the pure red hot thrill of mechanical dead-eyed coitus with someone you wouldn't actually piss on if they were on fire."
I did chuckle. The chuckle became a laugh at the next small sentence.
Maybe it's ennui, that feeling you get after too many dead-eyed sessions, who knows? I don't care why Sarah, none of us do, we just care and we hope that you can find some way to bring some joy into your life.
Hmm.....you certainly seem to have done your research on this well to provide the plot and a good healthy dose of innuendo bingo.
You did miss out on saying that if this idea fails it will be called Bonkers or they could go after the pr0n hungry geeks with a remade in print Tr0n Pr0n :)
Mine's the one with the dirty mac........iMac of course *ahem*
Or just plagarise, whatever:
"It's not pr0n unless, at the end, someone's gooey. Arcing ropes of jism hitting chins -- that is pr0n"
Steven R
PS: How many offers of having your washing machine fixed have you had so far from this story, Ms Bee?
PPS: It's probably the heater element...I'll just get my wrench out. *Wah guitar kicks in*
My submission:
"The hot blonde census takers went moist when Dave opened the door.
He invited them in, and whipped it out, it was massive.
He shagged them so hard they never walked properly again.
Then they fisted each other while Dave had a beer and a sandwich.
It was awesome."
One Eyed Jack.
Reading through the summaries of this type of literature, the first 20 all involve the man being shot, drowned, stabbed, kidnapped, imprisoned , suffering from a non infectious or icky illness, comatose, dying from a poison or having to fight to survive or having just killed someone in self defence to defend their honor.
It seems women want the first step to be a man who is weak or has to rely totally on them, while being powerful and dangerous in the eyes of everyone else and that all other women will try and fail to steal him.
That boring old thing?
I made the mistake of buying a copy of a complete translation of the whole shebang, a modern translation, not the Richard Burton one from 100+ years ago that chastely pulls its punches and is mistranslated to boot, and...well...well...it's boring as hell.
Buy a pop-up Kama Sutra and put the baby to sleep!
Paris, just to annoy the anti-Paris brigade.
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