Nectar
It's a nectar card... all you have to do is fill out your name on the form differently and the card arrives with that name on.
Hardly proof of identity, although I am well prepared to believe that someone with that name exists.
Ivan O'Toole? That's nothing, snorts Hugh Jass
The sorry tale of Ivan O'Toole, which last Friday caused a certain amount of merriment among the less than kind hearted members of our beloved readership, attracted an email suggesting that Mr O'Toole had faked an email address and hoodwinked the Reg Bootnotes secretariat. The missive in question came from one Hugh Jass, who …
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Monday 8th September 2008 11:57 GMT Simon Painter
CSI
The S in JASS is slightly lifted and is consistent across both of them, something you would expect from a single letter punch being mis-aligned. If this was a photoshop job then you would expect them to be inconsistent with each other or uniform on the baseline.
Still, it does not prove that some guy didn't sign up for a nectar card with a fake name. I would be more convinced with a drivers license or a debit card (but not a credit card as you can add duplicate cards on to your account with any name).
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Monday 8th September 2008 14:20 GMT Chris Holford
IT angle
Years ago I had a shareware word game called BAGO;
-the author called himself Hugh Jarse. There were 'easter eggs' which popped up pictures of scantilly-clad buxom females;, apparently at rare, random intervals. -or at least, despite trying, I never found the combination to trigger them. :(
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Monday 8th September 2008 15:24 GMT Anonymous Coward
Looks Fake anyway...
If you zoom into the pic between "Hugh" and "Jass" the pixels change considerably, it looks like the "MR HUGH" has been pasted on in front of the original "JASS" as the later part has a background consistent with the rest of the card. Also in the same area the bottom edge of the card is lower than the rest of the bottom edge....well it looks like that to me anyway?!
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Monday 8th September 2008 23:45 GMT Scott Hopper
And the winner is...
"Hi, we have a reservation under the name of Kunt."
-"What is the first name?"
"Seedat."
-"Absolutely. (to a hostess)Could you please show the Kunts to their table? Enjoy your dinner."
I believe it is actually illegal to publish a a customer's credit card receipt, no matter how edited, so I can't furnish the written proof. However, this is truly one of those times when reality makes you cry.
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Monday 8th September 2008 23:45 GMT Anonymous Coward
Someone I worked with...
Claimed he once spoke to a lady named Beta Turner Over - possibly not that spelling (and possibly not true) but makes I laugh.
As does Judge Willie Stroker; (maybe that didn't come out right... no that's not what I meant either... bother)
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/27/54030487_0a8dd71fe4.jpg
Paris I think because of the obvious connotations...
Girl walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre - so he gives her one ;)
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Tuesday 9th September 2008 09:08 GMT Anonymous Coward
Seriously.....
I had an Asian student in one of my classes at university who had the name "Fu Ken Ho"..... seriously. The subject was marked in groups and it used to crack me up every time I saw his group submit an assignment with that printed on the cover. Also had an Asian tutor called "Wrong Do" honestly the worst tutor I ever had.
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Tuesday 9th September 2008 09:08 GMT Alan James
A really, really, unfortunate name
I once knew a guy called Mike Hunt. He was very assertive about it, brazening it out like. I never once heard him call himself Michael, Mick or Micky.
Instead he'd answer the phone with all guns blazing. Example. "Mike Hunt, how can I help you?" Or, "Mike Hunt, what can I do for you today?".
His PA had worked for him for over ten years and she still cracked up every time. But I guess that was payback for all those times when she got the worst of it. "No I'm sorry, Mike Hunt is out of the office." Or "Mike Hunt is on holiday until next Tuesday".
I think it helped that said Mr Hunt was a very large and very fit former rugby player, with whom one would not proactively seek a disagreement.
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Tuesday 9th September 2008 09:40 GMT David Sidebotham
This ain't funny
Having lived with this type of problem for many years I can say that once you get over youthful shyness having a funny name can be an advantage.
However any parent with an odd name should think carefully about the selection of a first name, for example I should hate to be named Richard and I think that O'Toole would also have the same problem with Dick. I also heard about a woman named Edna Box (head in box), sometimes these things are not obvious.
You also have to be careful with associations. For example I once worked for a chap called Kingsley Fairy and then later for Brian Bonniface. I could never stand next to either in case someone should say "Oh look there is ... and ...". Just not on is it.
It gets worse. My grandmothers family name is Alcock and I cannot stand next to my cousin for the same reason. Some unkind person might observe that my family moved from front to back in two generations.
For once in my own name:
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Tuesday 9th September 2008 20:49 GMT Anonymous Coward
Here in the US...
About 15 years ago I was looking up a telephone number in the directory. The name I saw, I told myself, had to be a joke. I called the number only to reach a rather angry gentleman you started the conversation with, "Yes! That is my actual name in the phone book. Wong Numba is my actual name. If you are calling to really talk to me, I'm sorry for being mad. If you're another assh*le calling to see if you get a real person, go F*ck yourself!".
Needless to say, I told him I must have dialed the Wong Numba.
Yeah, I was a real prick in my youth.
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Thursday 11th September 2008 14:13 GMT Tom Rowan
Big Company Directories...
..are a great place to find some awesome names. I've worked for a couple of the really huge Global organisations and searching in the Outlook directory can be very enlightening.
There are all sorts of w*nkers and similar in there.
Worth an hour if you're in a global company...
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Wednesday 17th September 2008 10:13 GMT Ishkandar
and then there was....
...a Welsh(?) chappie called Hugh Rinal !! And an Irish chappie who was christened Patrick but always nicknamed "Break" because his surname is O'Day !!
And an English teacher called Mr. Steaker who absolutely refused to apply his initial because his name was Peter !!
But the best was a colleague whose real name was Simon Horatio Ignatius Trelawney !! No shit !! He waged a 10 year feud with his parents from the age of 8 until he could legally change his name by deed poll !!
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
